Chapter Twenty-Two
From: Luna Oliver [email protected]
To: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
Date: October 1
I wouldn’t ask this unless it was VERY important. But O-Chem is kicking my ass. I reached out to Forest first, but we got so frustrated with each other that he hung up on me, and I spent the night crying. What is your patience level with helping someone better understand the reactions and preparations of carbon-containing compounds?
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: October 1
Isn’t your boyfriend premed?
From: Luna Oliver [email protected]
To: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
Date: October 1
Boyfriend? What boyfriend? He was insecure and asked me not to be friends with other men. Like, are you kidding me?
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: October 1:
I’ll call via messenger tonight.
The heat is oppressive today and the window units in our apartment aren’t able to keep up, so we bought box fans. I would have declined Forest’s family dinner with him and Keegan tonight because there is nothing less I want to do than to travel to Chelsea in this heat, but he has central air and his place is so much cooler than mine. I may even ask him if I can crash there.
My sundress sticks to my body as I approach Forest’s building. My phone vibrates against me, and I stop walking to look at it. It’s a text from Forest to Keegan and me, apologizing that he forgot to reach out sooner, but that he’s going to the Yankees game with some friends tonight as the Twins are in town.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I say, still staring at my phone, as sweat drips down the nape of my neck.
“So typical,” a voice says, and I look up as Keegan also approaches Forest’s building, phone in hand.
“If he’d thought to send this about twenty minutes ago, I could still be in my semi-cool apartment, sitting in front of a fan in my underwear,” I say.
Keegan squeezes the back of his neck. “That’s exactly what I was thinking.”
I fan myself with my hand. “Well, do you want to share a car back to the Upper East Side?”
“We came all this way,” Keegan says, looking around. “We could eat. Are you hungry?”
“I’m always hungry,” I say. “And hot.”
Keegan grabs his phone, scrolls through it, and then places it to his ear. “Yes. Hi. This is Dr. Baldwin. I’m wondering if… Yes. For two. Inside. We’ll be there in about ten minutes. Perfect. Thank you.”
“This is Dr. Baldwin,” I say, mocking him, and Keegan chuckles.
“One of my favorite restaurants in the city is two blocks away. I guess you could say I’m a regular,” he says.
“Is this your date spot?” I nudge him in the arm as we walk down the sidewalk.
“No,” Keegan says, glancing at me. “But if friends come in from out of town, I always like to take them here. I’ve become close with the owner. I hope you like Italian.”
“If the restaurant has air conditioning, I’ll like it.”
As we stroll down the winding street, the flickering street lights cast shadows on the worn cobblestone pavement beneath our feet. We arrive at a charming Italian eatery tucked away in a cozy corner of the block. The soft glow of warm light seeps through the restaurant’s windows.
“Dr. Baldwin,” an older gentleman says as he opens the door for us. “It’s so good to see you. And what a beautiful date you have.”
Neither of us bothers to correct him.
“Mario, I’d like to introduce you to a longtime family friend of mine, Dr. Luna Oliver. Luna, this is Mario Barone. He and his family have owned this restaurant for over fifty years.”
“It’s the best Italian food in the city.” Mario takes my hand and kisses it. “We have your table all ready for you.”
The aromas of fresh-baked bread, simmering marinara sauce, and roasted garlic waft out, tantalizing my senses and making my mouth water. The restaurant is cool, a huge contrast against the outside heat. Mario takes us to a table in the back, away from the crowd.
“Your regular table, Dr. Baldwin.”
Keegan’s table is a corner booth, the walls painted all around us, making me feel like I’m in Italy.
When we’re seated, I lean forward on my elbows. “A regular? You’re treated like royalty here.”
Keegan laughs and color spreads against his cheeks. “It’s nothing. Really.”
“What’s the story?” I say, leaning forward on my elbows.
Keegan releases a breath. “When I first moved to the city, I lived in this neighborhood, and Barone’s quickly became my favorite restaurant. I used to come in here with textbooks and study, and I got to know Mario, his family, and a lot of the staff. Mario’s personal story is fascinating, and the history of the struggles his family had as Italian immigrants. Then the pandemic hit, and like so many other restaurants, Barone’s was on the brink of closure. Long story short, but I became a silent investor.”
The server comes by, and Keegan orders a bottle of wine and appetizers.
“Wow,” I say with genuine surprise. “And you’re telling me you don’t bring dates here all the time? That’s what I would lead with. A story of saving a restaurant from closure, which also happens to have amazing food.”
“You and Forest are the only people I’ve ever told,” Keegan says. “It’s not something I openly share with people. I know what it’s like to come from nothing. I want to do what I can to help people.”
I take a sip of my wine, and it’s got to be the most expensive I’ve ever had. The flavors explode in my mouth, and I close my eyes and let out a satisfied sigh.
“You are so layered,” I say, slathering butter on the warm bread that just arrived. “I’m learning so many new things about you.”
“Yeah, well.” Keegan unfolds his silverware from the cloth napkin and raises his eyes to meet mine. He releases a long and slow breath. “Sorry. I lost my train of thought.”
“Why?” I tilt my head.
“Sometimes when I’m around you, I lose my ability to form words.”
“Really?” I study his face, looking for hints of sarcasm.
“Really,” Keegan says, picking at the bread in his hand. “You make me nervous.”
“What?” I glance at Keegan to see if he’s teasing. He pulls his lips into his mouth and then looks down at his glass. “But I’m me, nothing—”
“Precisely.” Keegan closes his eyes for a moment. “You’re you.”
“Anyway, “ Keegan says. “Now that I’ve openly admitted that to you, feel free to change the subject.
To shift the conversation in a new direction, I say, “If your dad hadn’t died, do you still think you would have wanted to be a doctor?”
“I’m not sure.” Keegan stretches his fingers across the table. “I had this teacher, Mr. Verny, who took me under his wing. He got me interested in science, and I realized I loved solving mysteries and that could translate to medicine. I became fascinated. Obsessed really. Not until I was a little older did I realize how much my dad dying in front of me also drove my desire to become a cardiothoracic surgeon. Maybe in hindsight, it was what I was always supposed to do, but my dad’s death provided my why, and Mr. Verny made it seem possible.”
Our food comes, and we’re silent for a few minutes. He puts his fork down and looks at me. “What about you? You’ve never told me why you wanted to become a doctor. I remember when you were younger, you were always curious and asking questions, but I never realized how much you wanted to do this.”
“Isn’t it obvious?” I take my napkin and dab the corners of my mouth. “For the scrubs. I never have to get up in the morning and decide what to wear to work.”
Keegan laughs as he shakes his head. He reaches his hand across the table and places it over mine. “Do you always use sarcasm as armor?”
His bright blue eyes stare into mine, waiting for a response. It’s easier for me to be funny than to let someone see the real me.
“It’s because of you and Forest,” I finally say. “You guys were always doing medical experiments in our garage, and I was fascinated. After you guys moved away, I saved up all of my money and bought The Mayo Clinic Textbook. It was eighty dollars, which was a lot of money for me back in the day. But I’d study it for hours every night. Memorizing the bones of the body. Different ailments people could have. The anatomy of the heart and brain.”
I fork a ravioli into my mouth and nearly moan because it’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Keegan still watches me, so I continue.
“But so many people told me it probably wasn’t possible because of how bad I was at math. When I was in tenth grade, I met with our high school counselor about colleges, and he asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. It was the first time I told someone at school what I was thinking.”
Keegan leans forward on his elbows waiting for me to say more. “The counselor said I needed more realistic goals than that. And that I should look into Executive Assistant roles, or if I really applied myself, I may be able to become a surgical assistant. If I aimed really high, maybe even a nurse. You know, something better suited for women.”
“He said that?” Keegan’s eyes widen.
“Verbatim.” My heart accelerates at the memory. “He was such a dick. I was so mad. It was probably that moment when I realized I may not always be the smartest in the room, but I can be the one who works the hardest. I was going to be a surgeon.”
“Luna,” Keegan says slowly. “You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met. No matter what room you’re in.”
I take a long sip of wine, ignoring his compliment, but knowing I won’t forget it for the rest of my life. “When I got accepted into medical school, I scanned my acceptance letter, and sent a really pointed letter to the school counselor who was still employed there.”
“Sometimes I wonder how many girls are out there just like me,” I say, passion filling every cavity of my body. “Bad at math and discouraged to go into medicine for that very reason. It pisses me off honestly. Because I’m going to be a damn good surgeon, and I just needed someone to believe in me. I want to help other girls get into medicine because the field could use more of us.”
“You always believed in me, and at the time, I didn’t realize how important that was to me,” I say. Keegan’s eyes soften, and his fingers spread across the table, almost reaching for mine, but then stopping short. “But now I realize how much your confidence in me propelled me forward.”
I’ve been talking for too long, but when I look up from my wine glass, Keegan is staring back at me, smiling.
Keegan’s smile reaches his eyes. “I think that’s one of the best whys I’ve ever heard.”
After dinner, we step out of the restaurant, and the heat hits us like a physical force, enveloping us in a thick blanket of humidity. The surrounding buildings loom tall and imposing, their concrete facades absorbing and radiating the stifling warmth. Above us, the sky is ominously dark, and the distant rumble of thunder echoes through the city streets, vibrating in our chests.
As we walk, we pass by an ice cream shop, its bright neon sign casting a cheerful glow against the dreary night. I am drawn in by the delicious scent of freshly made waffle cones and the sight of the ice cream, the colorful flavors swirling in their glass cases. I convince Keegan to have a cone with me.
The thunder grows louder, and the darkness is illuminated by a brilliant flash of lightning, painting the sky a vibrant shade of purple. Keegan puts his hand on the small of my back. And then, with a deafening roar, the heavens open up, unleashing a torrential downpour upon us. The rain comes down in sheets, each drop pelting against our skin like tiny pinpricks. We hurry through the deserted streets, laughing and shrieking at the sudden turn of events.
“This way.” Keegan picks up his pace, and we jog until we reach a long and narrow alley, nestled between two buildings with a protective overhang, and he pulls me into the space. But it’s too late because we’re both drenched and my dress clings to my body.
About eight million people live in this city, yet we’ve found a place where we’re the only two people. To the left, down the long alley, is the back of a building, with a service door and a large trash receptacle. And to my right, just a few feet away, the filth of the streets gets washed clean as the rainwater moves rapidly into the sewer. Street lights flicker, and with the next crash of thunder, the block goes dark. My body stiffens. I’ve never seen the city void of light.
“Hey.” Keegan walks closer until my back finds the brick of the building behind me. “It’s okay, I’m right here.”
“Yeah. No. Of course.” I grab his wet shirt and pull him toward me. His hair is soaked, and the water drips onto my face. I’m still scared, but it no longer has anything to do with the darkness.
“I wasn’t honest with you at the restaurant.” I let my truth slip out, which somehow feels easier when I can’t see Keegan’s eyes.
“Did you make up the counselor story?”
“Of course not.” I swat his arm and keep my hand there. “But there’s something that I should have maybe mentioned to you as you were opening up to me.”
“Yeah? What is that?” Keegan’s voice is shaky.
“You make me nervous too,” I say, and his arm tenses beneath my touch. “But unlike you, I talk too much when I’m nervous.”
“That’s why you talk so much around me.” I can hear the smile in his words.
“Whatever.” I roll my eyes and playfully swat his other arm.
Keegan takes my hand and places it on his heart, and it’s beating so fast that it feels like it could explode.
“In the spirit of all of this honesty between us, that kiss in Montauk meant something to me.” Keegan gently slides his thumb along my jawline.
Every few seconds, Keegan’s face comes into view with the lightning overhead.
“All of these truths feel like a lot,” I say.
Keegan brushes wet hair out of my face. “You are in complete control. We’ll go in whatever direction you want this to. If you want things to go back the way they were, that’s what we’ll do.”
“The way things were.” I loop my fingers through his jeans buckle and pull him closer. The need for proximity is louder than the voice telling me to be scared of this new thing between us. “As if that’s even a possibility at this point.”
There was before we kissed and after.
Keegan’s face illuminates with the next bolt of lightning, and I can’t help but look at his lips. His body trembles beneath my touch.
“Can I kiss you?” There is uncertainty in his voice.
The darkness makes me brave, and I nod. Keegan reaches out and grasps the back of my head, creating a protective cushion between me and the wall. His hands engulf me, and a shiver runs down my spine. His lips come crashing down on mine with such a fierce intensity that I lose myself. I am momentarily breathless and gasping for air, but then he breathes for me, filling my lungs with everything he has.
As he kisses me, his hard body presses against mine. Every point of contact between our bodies is so electrifying, sending waves of pleasure coursing through me, and igniting a fire that I have never felt before. His touch is so tantalizing, so all-consuming, that I am lost in a world of pure sensation.
“This is all I think about.” Keegan sucks at my bottom lip as he presses into me.
I run my hands through his wet hair and wrap my arms around him. Keegan pulls at my dress and splays his warm hand against the skin of my upper back. His lips ravish mine, and my legs are weak beneath me, but the pressure of his body keeps me upright.
Keegan smells like a combination of rainwater and soap. I pull his body to me, and he groans as he hooks my leg around him. It’s a kiss that feels like it’s heading somewhere. It’s like a good glass of wine that makes me want to have another so I can be transported to a place where everything feels better and more heightened.
As the darkness around us gives way to the sudden blaze of the streetlights, I’m caught off guard, my eyes squinting and adjusting to the sudden brightness. I feel a flicker of panic as we’re now exposed in plain sight, the light casting our faces and bodies into the open.
He takes a step back, putting some distance between us, and I am left feeling momentarily deprived, my hands clutching at his sides. The sudden movement has robbed me of my balance, and I’m left reeling, my head spinning.
As I try to catch my breath, I feel my body sagging, and my head falls forward onto Keegan’s chest, seeking comfort in the solid warmth of his body. His chest rises and falls with each breath, and I match his rhythm, trying to regain control of my breathing.
“Fuck. Luna.” The rain has all but stopped. Keegan takes my hand and gives me one long kiss. “I don’t know what to do with all of this need I have to touch you.”
“Yeah,” I say, pulling back from our embrace. “I’m finding all of this very problematic.”
“I should take you home.” Keegan takes my hand and walks me to the street. “It’s gotten late.”
He goes to hail a cab, but then I grab his arm as I get the attention of a man standing next to a pedicab.
“Let’s take that.” My eyes shine as I point. He rolls his eyes and puts his hand up again for a cab.
“I am very serious.” I grasp his hand, pushing it down.
Keegan lets me get in first, and then I pull him in next, even though he’s very reluctant. It’s snug back here, and his knees hit the metal post in front of us. I give the bike driver my address, and we take off down the road. I glance at Keegan, and he shakes his head.
“I can’t believe you got me on a pedicab,” he says. “I can say with certainty, I never thought I’d be on one of these.”
“Life’s an adventure,” I say through a laugh. “You need to start embracing all the things the city has to offer.”
We stop at a red light and someone approaches our cart with a bag of mangos, and through Keegan’s protests, I buy all of them.
“Luna Oliver,” he says, trying to grab them out of my hand. “You cannot eat fruit that you bought off the street.”
I hold one up to my mouth and smell it. And then I take a bite, and it’s sweet and juicy. I hand it to him.
“If I get salmonella, I’m blaming you.” Keegan bites into the mango that I hold, and then I wipe the juice off his mouth.
“It’s good, isn’t it?”
Keegan puts his arm around me and pulls me toward him. He kisses the top of my head and lets out a long sigh.
I grab his face and turn it to me. “What was that for?”
Keegan holds my chin and then kisses me softly. “You make me see life in color.”
“Wow.” It’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Keegan’s eyes gleam with radiance as they capture the silvery glow of the moon as it peeks out from the clouds.
“I’m happy that Forest blew us off tonight.” Keegan squeezes my knee.
I nod. “Me too.”
The pedicab pulls up in front of my building, and when Keegan goes to get out with me, I turn and smile. “You’re not going to ride this back to your place?”
He shakes his head. “Not a chance.”
We pay the man, and Keegan stands in front of me. I’m not sure if he wants to say something or simply doesn’t want the night to end. But he’s silent, watching me.
“You know we’re stepping in it, right?” I finally say, even though the words have been on the tip of my tongue all night. “We’re crossing every line.”
“Yeah, I know.” Keegan takes my hand, kisses the top of it, and then intertwines our fingers.
“We should probably start behaving better,” I say. “Before anything else happens.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Keegan says, turning his head, searching for something in my expression. “Do you want to stop things now? Before they get complicated?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly, squeezing his hand. “Do you?”
“No,” Keegan says as he grabs me by the waist and pulls me flush against his body. “My muscles and non-boring life are finally changing your opinion of me. I wouldn’t want to lose all of this ground I’ve gained.”
“I’m rubbing off on you.” I put my hand on his arm, on the muscles he speaks of. “I thought deflection was more of my thing.”
“You want me to be serious?” Keegan traces the strap of my sundress with his finger.
“You have no idea how long I’ve. . .” Keegan’s voice trails off, and he takes a long blink. “But we’ll do whatever you want. Or don’t want.”
“I want to take it day by day,” I say. “See what happens.”
Keegan takes my face in his hands and kisses me. His mouth opens mine, his tongue exploring, and if he asked me again, I would give a very different response. I’d tell him that I want so many more nights like tonight.
“Day by day it is,” Keegan says into my mouth and then pulls away and kisses my forehead.
“Goodnight,” I say, moving to my toes to give him one more kiss.
I go into my building before Keegan walks away. Even though I don’t say anything, I’m confident that we both understand that this has to stay between us for now.