Chapter Twenty-Six
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: June 4
I’m sorry I missed your college graduation, Luna. I can’t tell you how intense my residency program is, and until I finish, this is my entire life. I hope you know how proud I am of you. The University of MN Medical School is lucky to have you.
From: Luna Oliver [email protected]
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
Date: November 16
Thanks, Keegan. Graduation weekend was a blast. Wish you would have been there. Not that I’m keeping track, but how’s it been nearly four and a half years since I’ve seen you?
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: November 16
Too long.
We get inside my apartment, and I flick the lights on and peer down the hallway to make sure that Myles and Raven are gone. Their rooms are dark. When I come back to the combined kitchen and living room area, Keegan has taken his sports coat off, and it now hangs on the back of a chair.
He undoes his cufflinks and pushes his shirt up his forearms. When he glances at me, he catches me staring. I shake my thoughts out of my head, go toward the freezer, and bring out a few pints of ice cream.
“Cherry, mint chocolate chip, or rocky road,” I say, balancing the three containers, the coolness a contrast from my sweaty hands.
Keegan joins me in the small, galley kitchen. I have to push past him to open a drawer and pull out two spoons. I struggle even looking in his direction because I can’t seem to breathe in his imposing and large presence. Being with someone I’ve known my entire life, on the precipice of that relationship changing for good, is much scarier than getting to know someone new.
“Cherry.” Keegan grabs the container from me and leans against the counter. “Always cherry.”
“Such a loyalist.” I hoist myself up on the opposite counter and open the mint chocolate chip. I squeeze my thighs together and cross my legs at the ankle. Keegan dips his spoon into the ice cream, and I watch as he puts it in his mouth and licks it. Our eyes connect, and Keegan gives me a reassuring smile.
It calms me immediately.
“Do you remember that ice cream shop in Cherry?” Keegan puts the spoon in his mouth, and his tongue lazily darts out to lick the last drop off of it. “They had fifty flavors to choose from, but when I find what I like, I stick with it. So, after all these years, it’s only cherry for me.”
“Cherry on Top.” I nod my head, remembering the shop back home that I haven’t been to in forever. “That’s what that place was called.”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
My dress is bunched up and Keegan’s eyes move to my thighs, and he sucks in a breath. Keegan pushes off the counter, and I unclasp my ankles so he can stand between my legs.
“Can I try the mint chocolate chip?”
I raise an eyebrow. “What happened to being loyal?”
“Well.” Keegan grins. “Your moans are selling it for me.”
Keegan puts both hands flat on the counter, and his arms cage me in. I dip my spoon into the pint and hold it out for him. But he doesn’t even glance at it. Instead, he brushes my hair to the side, squeezes the nape of my neck, and presses his lips against mine.
My mouth falls open, and his cool tongue dips into mine, and I taste an explosion of different flavors. His lips are cold, a contrast against his warm breath. I wrap him tighter in my arms. He squeezes my hips over my dress and pushes his body into mine.
“Mmm,” Keegan says into my mouth, never letting up from our kiss. “Mint chocolate chip tastes good.”
He takes the pint from my hand, dips the spoon in it, and rubs a streak of ice cream down my neck. In one swift motion, he licks it off. His tongue drags against my skin, sending shivers to every part of my body.
“It might be my new favorite flavor.” He smears some on the other side of my neck, and my body turns to molten ash as his tongue glides down me, awakening my senses and sending heat between my thighs.
I straighten my back and move my hand to his belt buckle. Keegan inhales such a sharp breath, that I fear my touch hurts him.
“What happened to going slow?” he says, breathily.
I’ve known you for my entire life,” I say. “It doesn’t get much slower than that.”
Keegan inches forward, and runs his hands up my bare legs until he grabs my butt and drags me toward him. I clench his hips, desperate to feel him against me. He hoists me up, my legs squeeze around his waist, and he walks me to my bedroom. I’m frantic to be closer to him. I grab fistfuls of his hair and press my body into his. When we reach my room, he puts me down, and I feel like a baby giraffe learning to walk. My legs are wobbly, and I’m unsteady on my feet.
Keegan is enormous compared to my frame. He reaches his hands around me until our bodies are flush. He is so warm and hard. He then takes my long hair in his hand and pushes it aside. He lays a sweet kiss on my neck, and then the sound of my dress’s zipper and the breeze from the fan on my bare back hit me all at once.
He pulls my dress down, and I shimmy my hips until it falls into a pile on the floor. I step over it, still in my heels. Keegan backs away, out of reach, and his eyes drag down my body.
“Fuck, Luna.” His voice is throaty, and he runs a hand down his face. He starts slowly unbuttoning his shirt, painfully slow, our eyes never leaving each other’s. He removes his cotton shirt, revealing a bit of himself, and then it falls to the floor. His skin is golden, and a vertical line separates all of his toned abs into perfect blocks. His pants hang low on his hips, and he once again closes the space between us.
“You wore the panties I saw on the floor in Montauk. I’ve had dreams about them.”
I reach my hand out and spread it against his taut chest.
He presses on my panties, right in the center, and I jolt at the sensation. “So hot, Luna.”
Keegan drops to his knees in front of me, clasps his hand behind my knee, and removes my heel. He then slips off the other one. He stays in that position, moving his hands to my butt, pushing me toward him. He kisses my stomach, right above my panty line, and then he buries his face in my panties, his face pressing against my core.
“Keegan.” I pull his hair, as he kisses me over the thin, wet fabric. My nerve endings go into overdrive with the pressure of him against me.
“You have no idea how long I’ve fantasized about this.” Keegan kisses me once more, and then I pull him to a standing position.
Without my three-inch heels, I strain my head to look at him. His fingers brush against my arms, and then I reach for his pants’ buckle because I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything more than to see where his ab muscles lead. I unzip them, and they fall to the floor. I don’t look away from the bulge in his boxer briefs.
Keegan lifts me, with seemingly little effort, and I wrap my legs around him. He lays me on the bed, and the weight of him presses into me. Keegan’s movements are all so fluid, that I don’t even feel him reach behind me to unclasp my bra. But then he’s pulling the straps down, kissing me where they once were, and then he yanks it off completely.
“You’re beautiful, Luna,” Keegan speaks into my chest, and then with his thumbs, circles the swells of my breasts. He glides his tongue down, pausing at my very alert nipples, watching me the entire time.
“Beautiful, Baldwin,” I say, jerking forward as his teeth scrape gently across my breast. Keegan’s eyes flick to mine, and half of his mouth turns up, and he chuckles against my skin.
His hand roams down my stomach until it reaches my panties. He fiddles with the tiny bow, and then his thumb hitches beneath the elastic. I arch my back while grabbing his shoulders for support.
“Can I touch you?” Keegan asks.
“Okay.” It comes out weakly. “Yes.”
“Luna,” Keegan says as his hand stretches beneath my panties. “I can feel what I do to you.”
Keegan dips a finger, then two, into me, his knuckles brushing against my core. I curve my back, already so close to an orgasm.
“How do you like it, Luna?” His tongue darts out, and he licks his lips.
“Like this,” I moan, gripping at the sheets beneath me. “Exactly like this.”
I pull his head toward me and kiss him deeply, and his fingers dip into me with a new intensity. He pulls away, holds my chin, and watches as my toes curl underneath me, and I dig my nails into Keegan’s arms.
My legs fall farther open. All the earlier nerves I felt now gone, only replaced by pleasure, and a sense that life was always meant to lead me to this exact moment.
“Keegan,” I say again, and he smiles against my lips, as warm liquid pools low in my belly, and then the pressure continues to build. I jerk my hips into him, and bite my closed fist, as pleasure pulsates through me. Keegan pulls my hand away and kisses me as I climax, whimpering into his neck.
“I want to taste you,” Keegan says as he pulls his hand out of my panties, and my body morphs into the mattress. I’m complete liquid. “But my desire to be in you outweighs everything else.”
Keegan’s lips bring me back to the present. He kisses my neck and then moves to the few freckles that are sprinkled along my shoulders. He looks at them like they are the most precious thing he’s ever seen. He moves down to my breasts, and my stomach, and then he slides my panties down my legs. I sit up and help take his boxer briefs off, and then I see it. Right below his abdominal muscles, low on his hip, is a tattoo of two bright red cherries, connected by a thin green vine.
“Keegan Baldwin.” My eyes go wide, and I lean forward and rub my fingers against his ink. “Another dare? It’s like I never even knew you before.”
I can’t take my eyes off of it, or the size of his erection. He stands in front of me, so confident, and lets me take all of him in. I kiss his tattoo and then run my tongue along it. I take him in my hand and continue dragging my tongue down his length.
“Luna, please.” Keegan grips my chin. His fingers shake against my skin, and for the first time, I can see how nervous he is. “If you do that one more time, this will be over before we start, and I really don’t want that.”
“Sorry,” I say, smiling. “I just really love your tattoo.”
I wrap my hands around Keegan’s arms and pull him on top of me because I need the weight of him more than I need air. I press my lips against his, and the heaviness of his erection presses against my core.
He stops kissing me and looks into my eyes. “Are you sure you want this?”
“Yes,” I say, moving his hair out of his face. “Are you sure?”
“More than I’ve ever been sure about anything.” His voice is shaky, and it makes my heart swell for some reason.
“Top drawer,” I say. I don’t know why I have a supply there. I haven’t used them. But maybe it’s because, from the moment I arrived in the city, I hoped for this.
Keegan opens my nightstand, pulls out a condom, and spreads it down his length. He hitches his hand under my knee and kisses me with a new intensity. He sweeps my hair back and looks so deeply into my eyes. No one makes intense eye contact like Keegan, but seeing his blue eyes as he lies on me, is an entirely different thing.
“If this is a dream, I never want to wake up.” He gently squeezes the back of my neck.
I grip him around his hips, not wanting to delay things any longer. I’m ready for him. Keegan takes my hand in his and raises them over our heads.
“Please, Keegan.” I seize his hips, pull him closer, and gasp at how full I feel when he slowly pushes into me. My body begins to adjust to him.
“Are you okay?” Keegan cups my face and then kisses my forehead. “Is this okay?”
“Yes.” I nod. “It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”
“Hey.” Keegan kisses me so tenderly that I feel the emotions in my toes. His lips cover mine, his mouth still tasting like cherry ice cream. He lies over me, not moving, as if he knows my body isn’t used to his size.
Keegan rolls over me, and the pressure soon turns to pleasure with each thrust, as we find a rhythm, our bodies connected. His hair tickles my face as he glides over me. I kiss his salty neck which glistens with sweat.
“You feel like silk.” Keegan continues holding my hand, but his other hand grazes the inside of my thigh before he hooks his fingers around my knee. “So fucking incredible.”
I dig my hands into his back and feel the movement of each muscle. I then grab his arms. There is nothing soft about Keegan, but his tender touch takes me by surprise. The way his finger grazes my core, and then grips my butt. The featherlight touch of his hand moving down my arm, until he circles my hip. The dirty things he whispers to me, are in complete opposition to how I imagined him as a lover. Because if I’m being honest with myself, I’ve wondered so many times what Keegan would be like.
In my dreams, Keegan was mostly a shy lover. But the reality is, he’s a little bit of everything. He is shy, especially when he holds my gaze, his eyes fluttering. But he’s also so masculine and says things that make my body blush. More than anything, he’s thorough. There is no part of me that he hasn’t touched and adored.
“Keegan.” The feeling of a growing tidal wave hits me again, and I rip my hand out of Keegan’s, and grab his waist, pulling him closer. He cages me in with his arms, each muscle tightening with each movement. I roam my fingers down his back and grip his butt, causing a whole different level of friction between us. He quickens his pace, and my ceiling fan does very little to drown out the sound of our flesh slapping together.
“I love this lip of yours.” He bites my bottom lip and scrapes his teeth down my neck.
It’s not a tidal wave that comes next. It’s a tsunami this time. A surge of blood rushes to my core. At first, it seems so far away, but then it’s here, crashing into me and building pressure until I have no choice but to be taken out to sea. I squeeze against Keegan’s pulsating erection and bite into his shoulder.
“Luna.” Keegan’s eyes roll back, and when he tries to back off of me, I once again pull his hips toward me.
Keegan holds me close and mumbles something unintelligible into my neck, and a guttural sound escapes him. I hold him close to me as his entire body trembles. His weight falls on me, and I’m pinned beneath the weight of him.
His heart beats against my chest. A fast staccato. Keegan props himself up on his elbow. He brushes my wild hair off of my face. He kisses my eyelid, then my other. Keegan moves to a sensitive spot behind my ear before his lips press against mine.
“You are incredible,” Keegan says, pulling out of me until I’m once against empty.
“You,” I say, and even that word takes more energy than I have right now.
With his thumb, Keegan starts rubbing circles over my left breast. He presses his lips to mine and then kisses the spot his thumb is tracing, right over my beating heart.
My heart doctor.
We lie in each other’s arms, taking deep breaths. He’s known me my entire life, and I trust him, almost more than I trust anyone. He allows me to be myself—to be silly and make mistakes. To say the most ridiculous things, without judgment. I cuddle up to Keegan, and he drags me farther into his body.
Keegan kisses my forehead. “If you would have told me that this would someday be my reality, I would have spent a lot less time feeling sorry for myself that I was never going to get the girl.”
“Keegan,” I say, closing my eyes, all of a sudden shy.
“I’m being serious.” He hooks his hand around my hips, and in one swift motion, pulls me on top of him in a straddle. “You are my dream girl.”
Keegan’s face turns serious, and he sits up with me on his lap and starts kissing me like it’s our first time all over again.
*****
My alarm goes off at seven the next morning and I pat the bed next to me, but it’s empty. Keegan’s dress shirt is crumpled in a pile on the floor, and I pull it on. Some big emotion washes over me. It’s not regret. It must be the realization of inevitability. Or of the door we tore wide open last night.
I rub my eyes as I walk to the kitchen. Keegan is dressed in only his white undershirt and jeans and stands in the kitchen, flipping eggs.
“Good morning.” Keegan turns from the stove to look at me. His hair is tousled, and there are hints of the boy I once knew. The blue of his eyes shines bright, and then his mouth turns up in a smile.
“I thought you needed a good breakfast before today’s shift.”
I wrap my arms around him from behind, until my palms lie flat against his chest. I rest my head on his back. Then I reach around him where the bacon is and bite into the crispy and salty meat.
“You have to be at the hospital at eight.” He puts scrambled eggs and bacon on my plate, grabs the pans, and starts washing them.
He walks to the bedroom, and I fork some food into my mouth but then follow him. He then kisses me so softly on the lips, that ditching work and staying tangled up with Keegan all day crosses my mind.
“Your presence would be hard to explain to my roommates,” I say. And even though his tattoo is now covered by his pants, I trace my thumb over it, excited to know it’s there. It will always be a little secret that we share.
“My shirt looks good on you,” Keegan says, as he grabs my legs, places me on the bed, and lies over me. He unclasps the one button, and it falls open, revealing all of myself to him.
“But it smells like you.” I cup Keegan’s face and pull his lips to mine.
“It’s yours,” Keegan says as he kisses the skin above my heart. “It looks much better on you.”
“Are you sure we can’t play hooky today?” I pull his mouth to mine and deepen our kiss. I wrap my legs around him so he can’t go anywhere.
“You have no idea how hard it is for me to walk away from you right now,” Keegan says, pushing into the bed and putting space between us. “But I have a surgery at nine.”
I pull his shirt tightly around myself and sit next to him at the foot of the bed. Keegan takes my hand in his and kisses the top of it. He draws in a sharp breath and releases it slowly. He finally turns and faces me.
“Forest needs to know.”
“That we had sex?” I shake my head. “Should I tell him it was three times or leave that part out?”
“Please don’t use humor to minimize this.” Keegan releases my hand.
“Okay. I’m just not so sure.” I grab his arm, and he turns to me. “Shouldn’t we wait to see what happens from here? What if I sit him down and tell him, and then you decide that you’re not interested or I figure out I can’t keep up a relationship and my residency? Or what if we realize that we’re actually annoyed by each other and want to call it quits? We need to think this through better and figure out what last night even meant for us.”
“The last thing I need is time.” Keegan pulls me onto his lap, and I tuck my head into the nape of his neck. “I know exactly what last night meant for me.”
I move his hair back and kiss him. His mouth is sweet and possessive. I clench his hair, but he pulls away from our kiss, out of breath.
“Luna. We need—”
“I’m not ready to let anyone into this thing between us.” I hold my hand over his heart, interrupting him. “Especially Forest. Not yet.”
He kisses my neck and gently pushes me off his lap. “The longer we wait, the harder it will be.”
I stand and pull him up. “I need a little time.”
He nods. “I’m going on the record to say, waiting to tell him doesn’t feel right, and if the situation was reversed and Forest was hiding something from you, you’d feel shitty about that.”
“I hear you,” I say. “Let’s just give it a little time.”
“Okay.” Keegan pulls away from our embrace. “And you have thirty-seven minutes before you need to be at the hospital, so I suggest you get moving.”