Chapter Thirty
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: March 23
Congrats on matching.
From: Luna Oliver [email protected]
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
Date: March 23
Well, if it isn’t Keegan Baldwin. I figured you’d forgotten about me. I haven’t heard from you in ages and haven’t seen your face in nearly eight years.
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: March 23
Well, we’re about to live in the same city, so I’m sure that will all change.
From: Luna Oliver [email protected]
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
Date: March 23
Yeah? But don’t rope me into joining your NYC branch of Mathletics. I’m going to be way too busy.
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
To: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Date: March 23
I’ll just be happy if you can find time in your busy schedule to see me once in a while. You’ve always been so much cooler than me.
From: Luna Oliver [email protected]
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]
Date: March 23
It’s the duct tape on the glasses Keegan.
From: Keegan Baldwin [email protected]: Luna Oliver [email protected]
Huh. Who knew?
Tonight, Forest and I are having dinner, and no matter what, I’m going to tell him. Which means today is the last day of normal. I want to think he’s going to be okay, but I’m not sure he will be. And this isn’t because of a stupid pact we made years ago about not dating each other’s friends. His issue will be that it’s Keegan. Because Keegan has always been his. And never mine.
It’s a slow day in the emergency room, so Raven and I spend some time updating charts. It’s rare for us to have so few patients, and I’ve witnessed how quickly that can change, so for now, I’m enjoying that I get to sit down for a moment.
“Hey, girl.” Raven puts her chart down and rests her feet on the chair across from her. “The charts are pretty much updated.”
“I know.” I look toward the door. “Where are all the sick people today?”
Raven also glances toward the door. “Right? Even the step-down floor is pretty empty.”
“Well.” I put the charts down on the desk. “Dr. Parse asked me to go through the exam rooms and do an inventory check. Page me if you need anything.”
“Will do.” Raven spins in her chair. “I wish they would cut one of us. Time feels like it’s standing still.”
The first exam room I go into is a mess. I bring in a supply cart and start stocking the room with the necessities. There’s an enormous amount of peace in the mundane. The hospital is not a place I usually find it, and ever since I started my residency, this is the first day that’s ever felt like this.
When I open one of the cupboards in the exam room, I see a binder, grab it, and hoist myself onto the foot of the bed. I flip through the pages, and it’s a guide to all of the different protocols for a variety of scenarios that can happen at the hospital.
The soft glow of natural light filters in from the hallway, casting delicate shadows on the sterile walls. As I glance up, my eyes meet Keegan’s, who stands at the doorway, silhouetted against the brightness outside. He leans against the frame and then steps inside. With a gentle click, he closes the door behind him.
He slowly moves toward me, a half-smile spread across his face. His beauty is the in-your-face kind. His scrubs cling to his toned frame, accentuating his every curve and muscle. A pristine white coat completes his professional ensemble.
“I’m Dr. Baldwin,” Keegan says, and a corner of his lip curves up. “And what brings you in today?”
“Oh, really?” I scrape my teeth along my bottom lip. I put my finger up to my temple, thinking. “Dr. Baldwin, is it?”
Keegan nods.
“Well,” I say. “My heart has been tachycardic all day.” I point to the left side, playing along.
“Tachycardic?” Keegan pulls the stethoscope off his neck and puts it in his ears. “That’s a big medical word for a patient. Do you have a medical background?”
I shake my head.
Keegan untucks my scrub top and rakes the cold metal against my skin until it’s firmly over my heart.
“It’s pounding,” he says, pausing to listen further.
He’s not wrong. My heart always speeds up in his presence. I learned all about it in medical school, and I know there’s a scientific explanation for it. The brain sends signals to the adrenal gland, which secretes hormones such as adrenaline, epinephrine, and norepinephrine. What my books didn’t teach me is how my brain knows that Keegan is the only person who causes this reaction in me.
“I better listen to your lungs.” Keegan reaches over me, his face hovering an inch away from mine, as he moves the stethoscope to my back. “Are you having any trouble breathing?”
“No.” I shake my head. “But my jaw has been tight all day.”
Keegan steps back, feels along my jawline, and then drags his fingers down and presses on my lymph nodes.
“Can I ask you something, Dr. Baldwin?” I move my legs apart so he can get closer to me for this examination. “Are you sure you’re old enough to be a doctor? You seem a little young.”
Keegan smiles and puts his stethoscope back around his neck. “Well, I started college at sixteen.”
“A prodigy,” I say, pressing my lips together.
Keegan barks a lap and presses down on my thighs with his hands, spreading his fingers across them.
“One more question,” I say and point to the red letters that adorn his white coat. “Do you think I could listen to your heart? You know, to learn a thing or two.”
“Of course,” Keegan says, and I sit up straighter to reach him. I grab my stethoscope.
“Interesting.” I move his scrub top out of the way, and he flinches when the cold metal connects with his skin.
It’s an intimate thing to get to hear someone’s heart so clearly—much different than lying my head across his chest. The lub dub sound comes through the earpiece as his heart valves close and blood pumps in and out of his chambers.
Keegan rests his hands on my shoulders. “What’s your diagnosis?”
“Well.” I keep the earpiece in, and let the stethoscope hang around my neck. I pull my bottom lip into my mouth and smile. “Your heart is racing. Your skin is glistening. You must be thinking of a beautiful woman who has captivated you.”
Keegan laughs and pulls my hips toward him. “Your stethoscope told you all of that?”
“It’s a special stethoscope,” I say, looking down at it. “With very special powers.”
“Gawd, I love you,” he says.
My eyes shoot to my forehead, although I quickly convince myself that Keegan used those three words flippantly, and not literally. Keegan’s lips collide with mine in a fierce, passionate kiss, before I have a chance to react to his words. I am caught off guard by the intensity of his embrace. I fall back on my elbows, and he rests his arms on either side of me. His lips are insistent, his tongue seeking entrance to my mouth, as he deepens the kiss. Heat radiates off his body, as he presses himself against me.
Light again pools into the exam room, and Keegan takes a dramatic and quick step back.
“What the hell?” We both jerk our heads to see Forest standing in the doorway. All ten units of blood in me feels like it runs to the floor. My body liquifies.
“Forest, wait,” I yell. But he turns to leave the room. I jump off the exam room bed and chase after him. I grab his arm, but he shakes me off.
“Talk to me, Forest.” I follow him down the corridor, and I practically have to jog to keep up with him. “Please.”
Footsteps come up on our rear, and I turn to see Keegan trying to catch up. Forest gets in the elevator, and we follow him to the main floor. Once we get there, Forest rushes outside into an empty courtyard nestled between a couple of the hospital buildings.
He runs his hand through his hair, pulling until his brown locks stand on his head. “How long has this been going on?” Forest then folds his arms over his chest. His face is at first pale, and then when he looks at Keegan, it turns bright red.
Neither of us answers, and Forest furrows his brow with intensity. “How long?”
I try to grab his arm again, but he shakes me away. “I was planning on telling you. Tonight. At dinner.”
“How fucking long?” Forest turns from me to face Keegan.
“About a month.” Keegan blankly stares at him.
“A month?” Forest rubs his fingers into his temples and takes a step closer to Keegan. “You’ve got to be kidding me right now.”
Forest looks at me, and then Keegan, directing the question to him. “Are you guys fucking?”
It’s as if I’m not here—that this entire thing is between the two of them and has nothing to do with me.
“Forest, don’t do this.” I grab his arm again. Tears spill out of my eyes. “Not here.”
“Keegan, I asked you a question.” Forest’s eyes blaze into Keegan’s. “Are you fucking my sister? It’s not a hard question.”
Keegan looks at him straight in the eyes, his expression blank. “It’s not like that.”
An older couple walks into the courtyard, and I say in a more hushed tone. “We weren’t trying to hurt you.”
“I feel so much better.” Forest shakes his head. “For fuck sake, Luna.”
“It just happened.” Keegan takes a step closer to Forest. “We can sit down and talk about this.”
“We.” Forest rolls his head back and laughs. “There is no we, Keegan. Not between us. You are dead to me.”
“Don’t do this,” Keegan says, putting himself between Forest and the only exit.
Forest laughs maniacally. “I had the decency to tell you the minute I started feeling a certain way about Raven. I even asked your permission. But you guys didn’t have the decency to do the same for me?”
“She’s my fucking sister.” Forest drags his hand down his face and turns to Keegan. “You’ve had every opportunity to talk to me about it, but I have to find out like this.”
“This is all my fault,” I say, stepping in, putting my body between the two of them as they continue to step toward each other. “Keegan wanted to tell you immediately. I begged him not to.”
Forest snaps his head towards me as if he’s remembering that I’m here too. “I know this is all your fault, Luna. It always is. You never think about anyone but yourself. And based on your track record, we all know how this is going to end. And then what?”
“Don’t do that,” Keegan says, reaching for Forest’s arm, but he jerks it away.
Forest balls his fist up and shakes it. I grab his hand, and he finally lowers it and says to Keegan, “You have no idea how much I want to hit you.”
“I know,” Keegan says, stepping closer to Forest, almost like he wants to be hit. Like that would make him feel better.
“You’re better than this,” Forest says. “You’re both better than this.”
His words are cutting, and Keegan stands and takes it and doesn’t react. Forest walks away, and Keegan stays firmly planted on the ground like his feet are weighted down by lies of omission. He tucks his hands into his pockets and looks at the green grass below his feet.
Forest walks back inside and I run after him, and this time when I grab his arm, I don’t let him shake it off.
“Luna,” he says in a whispered tone as action swirls all around us. “How could you?”
Forest pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a long and slow inhale. “How did you think this was going to go, Luna?” Forest chokes back a cry. “Or were you going to continue to lie to me?”
“I didn’t do this to hurt you.” Tears stream down my face.
“I feel like a fool.” Forest wipes his eye with the back of his hand. “I’ve lost my best friend in the entire world. Because of you. I can’t stand to look at either of you.”
“No,” I say abruptly. “Be mad at me. Not him. Keegan wanted to talk to you. You guys can’t lose each other. I’ll make this right.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever look at you guys the same,” Forest says.
“What can I do? I’ll do anything,” I beg, my voice desperate for an answer to make this all better.
Forest shakes his head, brushes past me, and heads down the hallway in the other direction, and I’m left standing there, trying to put together all the pieces of the last few minutes.