Chapter 6 Tatiyonna
SIX
TATIYONNA
My eyes popped open and my heart started racing.
Where the hell was I at? I can’t lie; the sleep I got was probably some of the best since I caught my husband cheating.
I lifted my head to see Jah asleep sitting up on the other end of the sectional.
Easing up, I grabbed my phone and purse.
It was close to midnight when my phone lit up.
Before I could make it across the den to his marble floors to get my shoes, his voice startled me.
“You just going to slob on my sofa and sneak the fuck out?”
I didn’t bother to turn around. This man had practically broken me down and had me venting to him. I’m sure he was now looking at me like I was an unstable woman with all the crying and shit.
“It’s late, and I didn’t want to wake you up.”
“You can’t face me?”
I could hear him getting up, and within moments, his six-foot-four frame was standing behind me.
“It’s rude not to walk you to your car, and it’s late. Come on,” he said as we walked to slip our shoes back on.
When we made it to his garage, he unhooked the charger from my car and opened the door for me. His smile was still as contagious as the first day I met him.
“Thank you for everything. I’m sorry for…you know, dumping on you and all.”
“I ain’t tripping. It was good to know another side of you, Ms. Cole. I mean, Tatiyonna,” he flashed me a smile. “I’ll see you at the next appointment. Have a good night.” He closed my door.
When I pulled away, all I could smell was his cologne on me.
I was still trying to figure out what the hell came over me.
Being vulnerable with a stranger has never been my thing.
That’s what my best friend and dad were for.
The rest of the drive, I rode in silence just thinking about my life.
Even when I pulled into my garage, all I could do was sit there.
My phone started ringing, forcing me to stop daydreaming.
“What are you doing up this time of night?” I asked Casi.
“Nooo, the question is where the hell you been for seven hours? Where is 235190 Wisteria Estates?”
I forgot she had my location. I gave it to her when I was going to meet Kileen for dinner.
“I was at a client’s house, and my Tesla was acting crazy. He–”
“He? Ooo, tell me more. Is he fine? Girl, I hope he’s better than Kileen.”
“Casi, please! It’s not like that. His niece and nephew are my clients. He’s really nice. It’s nothing like that between us. Besides, you know I do not cross the line with my clients or their families.”
“Tuh, better than me. Let my husband cheat on me and start a family. I’ll have his chest hurting.”
“And that’s exactly why you’re single and still mingling. Let me get in the house and take a shower. I’m exhausted,” I tried rushing her off the phone.
“What does he look like? You still haven’t told me that.”
“He’s fine if that’s what you want to know, Casi, damn. Now, bye.”
“Wait…wait!” Casi said before I hung up.
“What, girl?”
“Like, is he fine enough for you to get your mind off Kileen? Maybe date or something.”
“Casi, I’ll never take it there. But yes, he is finer than my husband if that makes you feel better.”
“It damn sure does. Good night, I love you.”
“I love you too,” I told her before disconnecting the call.
After my shower, I grabbed my laptop and put the twins' notes in and checked my emails. The nap that I took at Jah’s house refreshed me a little.
While I had the energy and my head was clear, I got as much work done.
It was close to three in the morning when I finally got in my bed.
What made me grab my phone and go to Kileen’s text thread, I’m still unsure.
Me: Come home.
Kil: I’m on the way.
As soon as I sent the text, I regretted it.
“Girl, are you fucking stupid?” I asked myself out loud.
I grabbed the phone and sent another text.
Me: Never mind.
Kil: Tati, I’m already on the way. Don’t do that this time of morning. I’ve already checked out of the hotel. Just open the door for me, and I’ll sleep in the guest room until you’re ready.
“Fuck!”
He pulled up fifteen minutes later. I stepped to the side to let him in.
He must’ve thought I was going to tell him to come to our room.
I left him standing in the hallway and closed my bedroom door.
Yes, I was wrong for telling him to come home in hopes of thinking we were going to work on us.
It was really selfish of me to see if he was going to come running at three in the morning.
Now that I knew he would, I had no need for him at the moment.
It was more like an ah-ha moment to the side bitch.
Now that he was under the same roof as me, I didn’t want him here.
The mere sight of him made my stomach hurt.
I could hear down the hall as I laid in bed trying to find the sleep that I caught at Jah’s house.
I would probably never see that again. The sound of Kileen walking back and forth from the hall closet to the guest bedroom was going to keep me up all night.
I knew he was doing it so I would come out and talk to him.
Little did he know, I didn’t want to talk to him at all.
It had been a week since my husband was back in the house.
I had maybe said twelve words to him. To me, that was twelve too many.
He gave me space so I could respect that.
Today, he got a call from his baby mama.
The phone call reminded me that what we had would never be the same.
I sat and patiently waited for him to hang up the phone.
“Here.” I gave him the papers.
“Fuck is this?” He snatched it out of my hand.
“Things will never be the same. I just want to legally separate until I can get my mind right on what I want to do.”
“Is this what you begged me back for? You know the baby comes along with me. Out of respect, I haven’t brought the baby here. Siya doesn’t even know I’m back in the house with you.”
“Beg? I’ve never begged you a day in my life. Would you rather it be divorce papers? I can gladly get them drawn up.” I crossed my arms.
“Tati, I don’t want any of this shit. I want my wife back so we can move forward. I’m doing everything in my power to be the man I used to be. Granted, I fucked up, and now I have extra luggage. Can I get a little credit? I walked away from my baby for you.”
Here we go with this shit again.
Kileen was starting to irritate my nerves making this a me problem.
Never did I ask his ass to walk away from his child.
He did that on his own and checked into a hotel, let him tell it.
For all I cared, he could’ve stayed his ass over there.
Then we wouldn’t be here and my confusion wouldn’t exist.
“You wouldn’t have to walk from anyone had you kept your dick in your pants, Kil. You know what, you don’t have to sign the papers. What I do need you to do is go be with your baby.”
He looked at me crazy and I stood my ground. Since he was throwing his baby in my face, he could go and take his ass back over there. He grabbed a pen, signed his name on the line, and slammed the pen down.
“Look,” he walked up to me and pulled me in.
“I’m never giving up on us, Tati. I know your emotions are all over the place, and whenever you call, I’m going to drop whatever the fuck I’m doing to get to you.
You’re still my wife and I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.
You want space again? I’ll give it to you.
I’ll say sorry until the day I take my last breath. ” He placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
An hour later, I was balled up in my bed like a damn fool.
Yep, it was my damn fault. I was doing fine until I asked him to come home.
It’s me constantly opening the flesh wound to my heart back open.
After my crying spell, I booked a hair appointment and told Casi to meet me at our favorite sushi lounge and bar.
It’s something about having your hair done.
I pulled my phone and took a few pictures for my Instagram page before pulling off to meet Casi.
I let the valet take my car as I headed inside. Casi was already there at our usual table with drinks and shots waiting. All I had to do was call my girl and tell her I needed her. She never questioned me.
“You’re cute.” She smiled.
“Thank ya’, girl. I feel better now that my hair is done.”
“Well, two shots are here for you, and sushi should be coming soon. Ain’t no need to talk about it unless you want to. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company and forget these niggas.”
I held my first shot up and tapped it on the table before downing it. We always picked this place that was too expensive for the average person to go to. I didn’t want to run into any clients and she didn’t run into anyone that she knew as well. It always worked out.
“I’m legally separated.” I tossed up the second shot and took it down with ease.
“He signed?”
“Yep. He gave a little push back, but once I told him it could’ve been divorce papers, he signed.”
“Chile, I would’ve gave that nigga them divorce papers quicker than the hair grows back on my coochie. This legal separation is making him think he still has a chance. I mean, does he?” Casi stared at me.
I just shrugged. “Now, let me explain because you are giving me a hard time. I’m thirty-three years old; who the fuck is going to want me?
I gave him my best years and I probably can’t even have kids.
Shit, he had to go outside of our marriage have his first child. I might as well be a fucking stepmom.”
Casi violently shook her head, damn near knocking her bob wig off her head.