Chapter 21 Tatiyonna #2
“I know how my brother feels about you. Just like he’s protective of all of us, I’m like that about him.
He’s never been in love with a woman before.
At least not that I know of. You’re the first that he has ever did for.
His focus has always been family. I watched my brother have a heart attack because of you.
I want you to sit here right now and tell me you will not break my brother’s damn heart.
I’ve lost my mama and sister. I can’t lose my damn brother.
He’s my backbone, and who the hell is going to help me with these kids?
” she laughed. “No, but seriously. I don’t know if he told you, but he was sick as hell when you left him.
He can’t take that kind of back-and-forth shit. ”
“Lonni, I love your brother. I have from the beginning of what we had. I picked my husband because I was afraid of what people would think. I thought it was the right thing to do. As soon as I left Jah, I knew I had made a mistake. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Well, welcome to the family, Tatiyonna.”
Jah wasn’t lying when he said he was going to spoil me today. I had already picked out the furniture and appliances for my house. By the time we were done, I was exhausted and ready to lay down, but Jah was driving towards the studio.
“Why are you going this way?”
“Because someone told me you were doing the work in the studio with little to no help.”
“I’m content with doing a little at a time. It’s no rush at all.”
“Well, I got some people that willing to help while they are free. What, you’re going to keep doing a little at a time until a year goes by and you’re still doing what you don’t want to do for a living?”
“No…I mean, I didn’t think about it like that. It’s just me, Casi, and my dad. I don’t want to take up all their time on my dream.”
“Did they tell you that?” He looked at me.
“No.”
“Aight, then.”
He pulled up, and I noticed Casi’s car, my dad’s car, and a few white trucks.
He opened the car door for me and helped me out.
I looked confused as we walked around to the front of the building.
I had given Casi a key and her ass had let everyone in.
The walls and everything were painted. The extra poles I had bought were up, and the aerial silks were connected as well.
“What else do you need done?” Jah asked.
“Who are these men?”
“A few men that I work with me. The best thing about being in the concrete business is being connected to contractors, brick masons, and electricians.”
“This is crazy.” I walked around, taking it all in.
“Yeah, all you had was a worn brick wall and them damn blue lights.”
“Don’t talk trash because this same place is what got us here,” I told him.
“And that’s why I had to make sure your vision came to life.”
Casi and my daddy were covered in paint when they approached.
“Heifer, you owe me a wig,” Casi said.
“You know I got you, friend.” I laughed.
Seeing my daddy and Jah dap up and hug made me smile. My daddy getting along with my man was important to me.
“Come on, let me show you the dressing room and bathroom. You know I had to put my touch on it. Because who knows you better than me?” Casi stuck her tongue out at Jah.
“You got it.” Jah threw his hands up.
As soon as we got in the bathroom and shut the door, Casi started asking questions.
“What are we going to do with this Siya bitch? I really want to put my hands on her. You said she was innocent. This heifer never stopped sleeping with your husband. What are we going to do, bitch.”
“I got it all under control. I don’t need you putting your hands on anyone. Neither of them is worth it. In the end, I’ll be laughing.”
“What’s it like to be wrapped in your man’s arms at night now?”
“It’s amazing!” I squealed.
“That man loves you. He was on the phone with your daddy immediately after trying to get this rolling. Your daddy then called me because he knows I know your style a little more. I’m just glad you had the paint already picked out.”
“I love him too. I just wish I hadn't gotten rid of his baby. We would be parents by now.”
“And y’all still can if that’s what you want. I’m sure he’s not holding that against you. You’re beating yourself up about something he has more than likely let go. Stop doing that to yourself and let him love you properly.”
“You’re right. I’m self-sabotaging, and I don’t want to push him away.”
“Period! Now let’s get out of here because your daddy said don’t turn the air on and run your light bill up.” She pushed me out of the hot bathroom.
Later that night, Jah and I laid in bed in silence. No television on. No phones. Just our thoughts. When I was in his arms, my mind would just go quiet, and a peace would just come over me. My heartbeat matched his heartbeat.
“Can I ask you something, Jah?? And the only reason I want to ask this is so I won’t keep holding this over my head.”
“Clear the air.”
“The abortion. Are you still upset with me about that? I regret it every day, and I feel like one day you’re going to blame me if I’m never able to carry your kids. Then I’ll be back in the same boat I was with…you know who.”
“I did blame you. I also believe that everything comes in divine timing. Shit could’ve gone bad for us had you kept my baby and still went back home to that nigga. If you’re asking, do I still blame you? No, I don’t. I love you, Tatiyonna, and I know one day you will carry my kids.”
“Kids? I’m not young, Jah, and the thought of having one is getting real thin.”
“That’s where you and I are different. I know you’ll be pregnant again. All the nasty shit we do with each other, I ain’t shoot blanks in that pussy. Every time I’ve ever came in you, I released with intentions.”
“You putting love spells on me?”
“Not at all. I believe in speaking what I want. You’re here from it.”
“You spoke for my marriage to go to shit?”
Jah laughed, “Wrong again. I spoke that if you were meant to be my wife, then you would come back to me. I wasn’t expecting you to follow me to my car that night.
After I laid eyes on you, my chest started hurting.
Instead of having a heart attack in front of everyone, I would rather have it in my car alone. ”
“I don’t know what I would’ve done had you died in that car, Jah. I’m glad I followed you.”
“I’m glad you followed me, too. As soon as you touched me, my chest stopped hurting.”
I climbed on top of him and kissed him, “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. But you know how you can show me how much you love me?”
“How, Jah?”
He licked his lips, “Sit on my face, I’m a little thirsty.”