Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
“Hold my calls, cancel my meetings, and do not disturb me today,” I snap at Lydia the second I walk through my office doors on Monday morning.
She doesn’t deserve my wrath, but I’m running on fumes and can practically feel the dark circles embedding themselves beneath my eyes.
I’ve spent the last twenty-four hours stewing, stuck in my own head, and this is me attempting to regain some normalcy.
Over the weekend, I didn’t allow myself to get on my laptop to research everything I could about the validity of Raina’s marriage or dig deeper into Javier Moreno. I needed to put myself first and try to break free of the negative headspace I was holding myself hostage in.
After spending hours at the gym, and even longer than that sitting at a bar by myself day-drinking, the only things I gained were a light buzz, a killer headache, and a new level of self-loathing.
It wasn’t a good look for me.
I couldn’t shake the pessimism that easily took root in my chest. I ignored every incoming call, and at one point even turned my phone off, not wanting to speak to anyone or deal with the problem directly in front of me.
For twenty-four hours, I allowed myself to have this adult-sized meltdown in the most pathetically immature way.
The reasonable, logical side of me knows I should have picked up the phone and listened to what Raina had to say. I could still do that. In fact, I should.
Man up, my father would tell me if he was still alive.
Stop being such a pussy, my brother would hound me if he was still earthside.
And I don’t even want to think about what my friends would berate me with.
But I just can’t get past the potential truths I may have to face.
Has she lied to me? Used a fake marriage to her advantage to get close to me?
Do I honestly believe that?
I know Raina. I know her heart.
That’s not her.
But could it be? Could the woman I’ve known for so long have deceived me? Manipulated me right under my nose?
I don’t want to believe it. I don’t believe it.
But there’s still a small part of me that questions it. The same part that makes me want to gather all the facts that I can on my own before listening to what she has to say.
I’m taking the coward's way out, and I know it.
“Is everything okay?” Lydia asks tentatively, startled by my bad attitude. She stands at her desk but doesn’t try to come around it.
Realizing I’ve been frozen in place, lost in a mental battle, shame rolls over me before I glance at her, then slam my office door closed.
I’m going to owe her a raise and an elaborate apology bouquet after this morning.
When I sit at my desk, I take the phone off the receiver so it can’t ring, then I put my cell phone on do not disturb.
Firing up my laptop, I wait as the home screen powers to life, then bring up every legitimate website I can find on France, overseas marriages, and French marriage certificates—acte de mariage.
I’m so angry at myself for not considering the marriage could be fake. I should have looked into it the moment her file came across my desk and researched the legitimacy. Or demanded to see the acte de mariage myself.
Had I taken those simple steps, this could have been avoided, but because I let my emotions control how I proceeded with this case, I developed tunnel vision.
I purposefully completed and filed the divorce paperwork faster than I normally would have, desperate to get it into the system so she would be released from the marriage as quickly as possible.
This is exactly why it is unethical for someone in my position to mix business with pleasure.
This is why we take an oath to uphold our duties.
Slamming the phone back onto the receiver, I click the intercom and connect with Lydia. “Bring me Raina Lancaster’s file,” I bark into the speaker. Then, because I know how incredibly rude I’m being, I add, “Please.”
Her voice connects immediately. “Right away, sir.”
A few minutes later, she’s waltzing into my office, file in hand.
Holding it over my desk, she stares at me with a cold, serious expression.
“You may be my boss, but I am still your elder, and you need to cut the attitude. I can tell something is really bothering you—I have never seen you this angry and am willing to give you some grace. However, please remember I’m on your team.
” She slams the file on my desk, then turns and walks back out, shutting the door gently as she goes.
Noted.
Lydia is lucky I look at her as a maternal figure in a professional capacity, because if anyone else spoke to me like that callously, they would be fired immediately.
Flipping through Raina’s file, it takes me a few moments before I finally locate the document I’m searching for, the marriage certificate, which is shoved in the back, sandwiched between two other documents.
Picking it up, I examine it closely. Everything is in French, and I only recognize a few words, mostly due to their similarities to their English translation.
My eyes glide over to another French marriage certificate on my computer I have pulled up for reference. The difference between the two is glaringly obvious, and I get even more furious at myself as I stare at the fake in my hand, completely missing the French seal.
“FUCK!” Swiping at everything on my desk in frustration, I send files, pens, papers, and other office supplies flying. My chair topples over when I shove it backward, launching to my feet.
Stalking over to where my alcohol sits on a sterling tray on my bookshelf, I don’t bother to pour my scotch into a glass before I toss it back straight from the crystal decanter. It burns as I chug down as much as I can stomach.
Seconds later, I hear Lydia’s muffled voice frantically telling whoever’s out in reception with her not to come in here, but they don’t heed her warning, and instead, my office door flies open. Furious, my head whips toward them, and my partner, Simon Gamble, appears in my doorway.
“What the fuck, Paladino?” He looks around at the disaster I’ve made in my office.
“It’s nothing.” Tipping the decanter again, I block my view of the bastard who I’m in silent competition with, despite him being my partner at the firm.
“Go home, Luciano. You can’t be at work while you’re in this state.”
Slamming the decanter back on its tray, I give him my back and look out at the city. “Fuck that. You have no say in what I do, Gamble.”
“It’s my name on the building before yours. Now, go home and cool off. We have a business to run, and you sure as hell can’t defend your clients when you’re busy destroying your office. Get your shit together, Luciano. This is unacceptable.”
He scoffs, then leaves, his heavy footsteps carrying him through reception and back to his side of the floor.
My head hangs loose on my shoulders, shame pouring through me as it takes my brain less than a few seconds to catch up on the reality of what just happened.
This is exactly why I didn’t want to get involved with Raina. With my client.
Everything is so fucked.
Fixing my leather chair, I sink into it and pick up my phone to call the one person I can think of to help get my mind off things. As much as I don’t want to rely on him, he’s the only one I know won’t say no to my request.
Sully answers on the first ring. “Hey, Lu-Lu. To what do I owe the pleasure of our first phone call?”
“I’ve called you before,” I grumble, pinching the bridge of my nose as I squeeze my eyes shut.
“I don’t think that’s true. You usually just text.”
“I need your help with something.”
“Lay it on me.” I can practically hear his satisfaction.
“I need a distraction.”
Fuck, am I really asking Sully for help?
“What did you have in mind?”
“Something that doesn’t involve drinking, but will get my mind off the shitshow that is my life right now.”
“What happened?”
I should tell him. I haven’t talked to anyone about it yet, and it would probably help to lift some of the weight from my chest.
“In a nutshell? I think Raina has been lying to me.”
Sully is quiet for a second, then carefully asks, “About what?”
“Her marriage is fake. The document was forged. Javier showed up and alluded to her knowing this the whole time.”
“And you believe him?” He practically laughs.
Leaning forward in my chair, I rest my elbows on my thighs. “You didn’t see the confidence he exuded when he made his confession.”
“Lu-Lu, I don’t need to see the fucker to know he’s lying. Raina would never do that to you.”
“You don’t know that.”
That stupid ache in my heart comes back.
“Uh, I do. And you do too.”
He doesn’t understand. The anger I briefly pushed aside for this phone call comes back full force, and suddenly the last thing I want to do is be on it.
“You know what, Sully, just forget I called.”
“No,” he says quickly. “Wait. If you need a friend, I’m here. Where are you now? I’ll meet you.”
“Just forget about it.”
“Luc—”
I don’t let him finish saying my name before I hang up.
Calling him was a mistake. We’re barely friends.
Clicking into the message app, I pull up the conversation between me and Raina, scrolling through the last few messages and clicking deny when Sully tries to call back.
She’s sent me six messages since I walked out on our interrupted date.
My heart aches as I read through them again, and I know I should text her back. My fingers itch to respond, but something deep inside stops me.
Nothing good will come if I reach out to her now. I need time to cool off. I’m not being reasonable right now, and I need to sit with the fact that I do know she would never lie and manipulate me like Javier accused her of.
Logically, I’m aware I’m not being fair. Ignoring her isn’t right, and to some degree it kills me that this is my reaction. My instinct.
My fight-or-flight mode is clearly mostly flight, and I’ve never felt like more of a coward. Her last message nearly broke me. The more times I read it, the more my resolve crumbles.
I want to hold her in my arms and work through this.
But as a lawyer, I fucked up on so many levels.
It’s not something I can get over as quickly. I’ve spent years making a name for myself, and I pride myself on my ability to do my job, and do it well.
From day one I told Raina I didn’t want to take her on as a client.
I explained the conflict of interest—it was a giant red flag.
Never mind completely shitting on my oath and personal responsibility as an attorney.
I was never fully afraid of ruining my career because of my relationship with her, although it was a risk.
What I never considered was my lack of thoroughness could be what wrecked my career instead.
And whether my career is actually ruined is up for interpretation.
Technically, I’ve done nothing wrong outside of filing paperwork for a marriage that doesn’t exist. In the scheme of things, it’s not a big deal.
A few phone calls will clear it up, and those will be made as soon as I can articulate a sentence without boiling over.
But if this gets out, Gamble will have my head, and my reputation will go up in flames.
What really enrages me, though, is how I unknowingly allowed Javier to have the upper hand this entire time. I gave him the ability to completely destroy my life all because I’m so painstakingly in love with Raina, I wasn’t willing to let her pretend to be engaged to someone else.
But I’d do it again. All of this ripped off the blindfold I’d been wearing and led me to her.
But the realization hasn’t soothed me. I’ll make it my life’s mission to gain Raina’s forgiveness once I’ve finally untucked the tail between my legs, but right now, Javier is too far under my skin for me to let go of the anger and shame.
Thankfully, though, it doesn’t seem like he’s after my job. If he was, there were other ways he could have destroyed me.
No. It’s not my job he’s after, and it’s not Raina. What he wants is to destroy my pride. My confidence.
All because I fucked with his plans.
Javier made me doubt myself. Now I’m letting him win by questioning everything.
He played us, Luce. Please call me back.
You know I’d NEVER lie to you.
Please. Let’s talk about this.
Seriously, Luciano? You’re my lawyer. You can’t ignore me.
Never in my wildest dreams did I think you’d have such little faith in me. We’ve known each other over a decade and even with all that time between us, you honestly think I’m capable of manipulating you? I love you, Luciano. I would never lie to someone I love.
Maybe you and I have different definitions of love.