Chapter 22
Kassiel
Somehow, the goddess grants us a clear night sky, the starfalls shooting brighter than I’ve seen them in turns. I squint, looking towards the mountain tops. The auroras paint their pink hues across the deepening purple backdrop.
We walk hand in hand through the hushed, vacant streets.
She had murmured about Leeson and Caym, but ultimately she chose to come with me.
She chose me. It’s still disconcerting that so much of what I’ve known the last two—hundred some turns, is changing, forging a path that still feels forbidden to me.
After sending Kina back to Caym, we set out to find a space of our own amidst the broken village.
Despite the torment many are laden with, their grief, and the smell of burning bodies, it’s the closest to the Plains of Elmir I’ve ever reached.
Though their lives are currently in limbo, mine, for a moment, appears to be a reprieve from the hellscape I normally endure.
“Tell me, little warrior,” I whisper, “what brought you to this place, truly? You can’t say because The Hidden commanded it.”
Her eyes dart to mine before speaking, “To Treach?”
I huff out a laugh. She’s still untrusting it seems.
I reply, “To the northern part of the kingdom. The Siltar Woods are not kind to travelers. What events brought you here.”
The facts of The Hidden are somewhat known to me. King Euron had filled in enough details to help us understand the nuisance they were causing him by traipsing through the kingdom spreading their unrest. I want to know what fuels her fight.
Her hand releases the pressure she’s been squeezing on mine, but doesn’t necessarily pull away either.
Her face, illuminated by moons' light, reveals nothing though I see her contemplating the way she bites her lip. It’s delicate and I bet she doesn’t even know she does it.
I trace her lips, memorizing every arch and curve before moving onto her freckled skin, the dusting reminding me of my favorite constellations.
“You want to know how I came to know The Hidden?” she finally asks.
Her nervous energy has my curiosity growing. I face her and continue, “If you’re willing to share, I’m more than eager to hear about the things that make you continue on.”
Her soft lip turns up in a smile and a small dimple appears. “No one has asked me that before.”
The way she peers into my eyes, really searches my soul, rattles something in me. Something that was tucked away a long time ago.
I bring my finger up to her jawline and drag my calloused finger along her perfect skin. “I would listen to you talk about slug slime if it allowed me another chance at seeing you smile.”
Her smile breaks wider in the same instance that the soft illumination from earlier, her iludreer, begins to glow along her arms, casting her in faint, shimmering white light.
She looks down, her eyes enraptured by the dancing flecks of light.
“Why do you not use your rarity, Alora?”
Her chin lowers slightly and the soft glow dulls before cutting off, casting us in the shadows of the night once again.
I watch her face become shielded. Tipping her chin upwards to bring her eyes to mine, I ask her, “Do you feel shame about having such rare magic?”
A slight blush creeps along her cheeks and she answers. “I…I don’t know how to harness the light.”
My brows pull up. I wasn’t expecting that.
“You don’t know how to use your gift? You never learned?” I keep my words level, contained. Careful to not make her self conscious, though my insides hammer against the idea of her not knowing how great her magic is, I wait for her to reply.
“My parents weren’t given magic, they had no idea how to help me.” The small confession causes my thoughts to turn chaotic. It’s unheard of to have reguls produce a child with abilities.
I begin to massage little swirls into her hand that’s grabbed mine if on instinct.
“We lived in a seaside village near The Isle of Meridian. There wasn’t a large magic population and my father was a mapmaker.”
Dawning realization snakes along my spine. I had been there, nearly eight turns ago, searching for a child that was said to possess a true rarity. A child that was never found.
I let go of her hand and my insides twist into an icy knot.
If she’s who I think she is…
He can’t have her.
“What was the village name?” By the goddess my tone hasn’t changed and Alora appears to not have noticed my shifting demeanor.
She’s looking into the sky, studying the moons, and for once, I’m thankful she can’t see my expression. Especially when she answers, “Saultmaus. But it’s long gone now.”
My frozen insides feel heavier. Of course it’s gone. I burned it to the ground.
She had led me to the stony portcullis after she revealed more than I bet she realized. We made a pallet of old mothworn blankets and straw, and she currently lays in my arms, curled into me with her back to my chest.
Had she known I was there all those turns ago, when her village was razed? Chances were she did, and that has me questioning why she would choose to stay with me, the man who literally left no one alive in a bout of desperation to please the king.
“Kassiel,” she begins, “what’s caused you to grow silent?” Her fingers trace along my bare forearms. Her touch brings me closer to feeling like more than a husk of a beast.
“Saultmaus.” The tracing stops and I can feel her chest still, as if she’s holding her breath.
“I was there,” I continue. I can’t hide this from her, not when she deserves to know the truth or at least the form of it I know.
I’m prepared for her to turn from me, to leave right now. For her to realize that she’s a sacrificial lamb laid at the feet of the beast ready to devour her.
“I know.” Her words are quiet. Resolved. Her chest rises as she inhales deeply. “I know you were there. We’d heard rumors of you and The Nightmare. I’d been laying in the saltgrass, making flower chains while reading and had fallen asleep.”
She shudders so I pull the blanket closer and rub her arms that have fallen still.
“When I awoke, I could smell the smoke before I saw the flames.”
Goddess, she was there. How she managed to stay hidden was by the fates doing.
She continues, her words a mere whisper, “I found my family. At least I know they perished together.” She pulls away from me and I release her. Her body shifts and she pushes into a sitting position, her arms wrapped around her legs as she looks out the window of the portcullis.
Stars fall in the horizon, the tailend chasing them until they fade out. I watch as her shoulders sink lower, resigned.
I clear my throat, “I’m…I am sorry, Alora.” I roll away from her and turn my back to her until I’m facing the village.
Moments pass and I watch torchlight flames flicker in the gentle breeze. Her back leans against mine and she settles.
“What happened as we entered Treach, Devourer?”
Ahh. The nickname.
“I want the truth,” she continues, “I need to know what you mean when you say you’re forced to do things.”
I continue to stare into the wavering torch. If I reveal what she asks, it puts her at risk. And I can’t lose her too.
“I became a beast. My soul splintered from rage and grief.” The memories threaten to cut through and pour out.
She grows quiet, barely breathing.
“King Euron has me bound to him, bound to his will. If I disobey, he uses power from old witches to immobilize me. Punish me.”
I sniff and rub my sleeve along my nose. It’s hard to admit that I lack autonomy over my actions. That I’ve been defiled in more ways than I want to remember.
The wind picks up, a cold unnatural chill accompanying it. She stays there, backed up against me, giving the space that I need to confess.
“When you’ve been forced to do unthinkable things, you tuck away parts of yourself to protect your mind from the truth.
The things someone would willingly do to stop the pain and torment, would terrify you if you confronted those actions.
You become a predator, unmatched in skill if it meant you weren’t at the brunt of the whip. ”
A small tear rolls down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away.
“Sometimes I look in the mirror and question if it’s me or the monster I’ve become looking back. And still, that darkness isn’t as frightening as the power King Euron holds over me.”
Her small frame shifts from me, leaving my back colder with her absence and I hear soft footsteps padding away.
It’s a good thing, her leaving. I should have done it myself, if only to protect her from myself in the end. The only ending for us would be in tragedy.
Suddenly, taking me off guard, she rushes towards me, wrapping her arms around my body.
Her breasts press into my back, the warmth of them drawing me from my darkness.
“Kassiel, look at me.” She kisses me, under my earlobe and whispers, “Join me, come lay down and let us forget our sorrows if only for a night.”
I blink, my eyes blurry from the emotion that builds. She releases me and I hear shuffling behind me.
More blankets have been piled up in our makeshift bed, almost nestlike.
“I hate sleeping anywhere but my own bed, but I’d be glad to have your company tonight.” She offers me a weak smile, exhaustion causing her eyes to darken.
Before I know it, we’re cradled in each other's arms and she’s quickly asleep. She doesn’t bring up Saultmaus, or my dark truths and I’m grateful for it. Her head lays in the crook of my arm in the perfect position to count each of her freckles that remind me of the star—kissed sky.
We lay there, until she’s snoring quietly, a new development I learn.
The cold breeze returns and it’s still unnerving to watch the fog consume the distance between Treach and the trees.
I’ll never quit thanking the oracles for warding the village when I was still a young man, nearly two hundred turns ago, protecting it from the spirits and phantoms of the forest.