Chapter 29
After the closing supper prayer, Mammi told Joanna that she’d clean up. “You and Adam go for a walk.”
“Nee, Lu,” Adam said. “Joanna and I will clean up. You’ve had a long day.” Joanna appreciated that about Adam. He did dishes. He made coffee. He was never above a task.
Her Mamm used to tell Joanna to persevere at whatever task she was doing.
“Don’t give up,” she’d say, even when Mamm was in bed, exhausted.
“Keep trying.” And Joanna did keep trying.
At sewing. At cooking. At knitting. She applied her mother’s advice to her work for Ike and Becky too.
No doubt that was why she’d been successful.
But why had she kept trying with Jacob, even when he’d been distant? Was it because, all along, she thought she’d at least have a better relationship than her parents had? Was that her goal?
As Joanna washed the dishes, Adam dried. First he asked if she was liking Persuasion.
“Jah,” she answered. “I’m in volume two.” She laughed a little and lowered her voice. “I can relate to Anne’s challenges with her father.”
Adam nodded. “I really appreciated all of the complicated relationships in the story, both in the families and in the community.” Joanna noted he didn’t add anything about the romance.
Once he’d dried the last dish and put it away, Adam said, “How about that walk now?”
“I’ll check on Mammi and see how she’s doing.
” Joanna peered through the living room doorway.
Mammi Lu sat at her desk, writing. She corresponded with all sorts of people.
A sister-in-law in Ohio. A cousin in Kentucky.
Joanna’s family in Maine. Her three sons and their families. She often wrote letters in the evening.
Mammi didn’t notice her, so Joanna stepped back into the kitchen. She met Adam’s eyes. “I think I should stay here.”
He gave her a faint smile. Was it a defeated one?
The truth was, she didn’t want to have to talk with Adam more than she already had while they did the dishes. Even though Adam had come over in case Dat tried to bully her to leave, she was still miffed with him for writing her the anonymous letters.
There was no church the next day, and Joanna and Lu didn’t go visiting either.
Joanna intended to skip the Youngie volleyball game that evening at Mandy and Caleb’s and stay home and read, but Caleb swung by in the midafternoon and asked her to come.
“Mandy could use the help,” he said. “We probably shouldn’t have volunteered to host, but it’s too late to cancel now. ”
“You can take the horse and buggy,” Mammi Lu said from her rocker.
Caleb interjected, “Or get a ride with Adam.”
She considered that for a moment, and then said, “I’ll drive myself.” Adam might want to stay longer.
She braced herself to see Jacob and Miriam, but they weren’t there when she arrived. She joined Mandy in the kitchen, which smelled like popcorn.
Joanna asked, “How can I help?”
Mandy motioned toward a huge stainless-steel bowl that was half full. “Would you make the rest of the popcorn?” She motioned to the oil, salt, and bag of kernels.
“Of course.” Joanna heated the oil, dumped in the popcorn, put the lid over the top, and slid the pan back and forth over the burner.
A girl—the one who was a friend of Veronica’s that Tim had given a ride home—came into the kitchen and approached Mandy. Joanna remembered her name was Wendy. “Is Miriam here?”
“Nee,” Mandy said.
“I need to speak with her.”
Joanna couldn’t make out Mandy’s answer. Someone called out, “Joanna!”
She turned as she kept shaking the pan. Adam came toward her. “How are you?”
Tears stung her eyes. She blinked a couple of times. She turned back to the stove. “Fine.” She shook the pan harder.
“Is it burning?”
She turned the burner off and yanked the pan to the middle of the stove. Smoke billowed out from under the lid.
“May I help?” Adam reached for the hot pad. “I’ll take it outside.”
Joanna nodded, gave him the hot pad, and stepped back. He grasped the pan handle and hurried through the kitchen and out the back door. Joanna stepped to the window to watch him. He took it to the chopping block. Caleb yelled out, “Did you burn the popcorn?”
“Jah,” Adam said.
Joanna turned to Mandy. “I’m so sorry.”
The girl beside her held her nose. Mandy frowned. “Don’t worry about it.” She grabbed the saltshaker. “We have enough.”
Joanna took the salt from Mandy and began shaking it on top of the popcorn already in the bowl.
“How is Miriam feeling?” the girl asked.
“Shh.”
Joanna turned. “What’s going on?”
The girl’s eyes widened. “You don’t know?”
“Know what?” Joanna’s head began to ache.
“That’s why Veronica went home. She’s mortified. She thought Jacob was interested in her.” Wendy paused and then said, “Miriam’s—you know.”
Joanna shook her head. But her stomach dropped as the girl whispered, “She’s going to have a baby.”
Joanna slipped out the back door to Mammi Lu’s buggy. Caleb had just started the volleyball game, so everyone had shifted to the side yard, including Adam. He stood at the net with his back to her.
As she hitched her horse to the buggy, she turned toward the sound of hooves. Jacob came toward her. She ducked around the side of the buggy until he passed and then climbed inside, released the brake, and drove away slowly, hoping not to draw attention to herself.
She felt as if she were on fire. She fought back angry tears as she took the back roads home, taking as much time as she could. She didn’t want to have to explain herself to Mammi Lu.
The sun sat on the horizon as Joanna finally turned onto the highway.
Just before she turned down Mammi Lu’s driveway, a buggy came toward her from the other direction.
Ike and Becky. They sat closer than most courting couples she knew.
Becky was driving. She waved, but without her usual grin.
She had a concerned expression on her face.
Joanna waved back and smiled. She didn’t want Becky to worry.
Joanna took her time unhitching the horse, feeding her, and brushing her down. Then she walked to the woods and sat on a stump, staring up at the darkening sky. By the time she returned to the house, the lights were off—but someone was sitting on the porch.
She hoped it was Adam. The thought surprised her.
Then she noticed a scooter. And a second one. She squinted. Both Mandy and Miriam sat on the top porch step.
“There you are.” Mandy stood. “We need to talk.” She reached out toward Miriam, grabbed her arm, and pulled her up. “All of us.”
Miriam appeared uncomfortable, with good reason.
“Adam was the one who noticed you were gone,” Mandy said. “He started to come after you, but I said Miriam and I would. She’d just arrived.” She must have been in the buggy with Jacob.
Miriam tugged her arm away from Mandy.
Joanna felt frantic, as if she were swatting at flames, but she did her best to sound composed. “Come on.” Joanna motioned toward the stable. “I can take both of you home while we talk. I’m sorry you waited so long.”
“Nee. Caleb is going to come get us.” Mandy sat back down on the top step. “Come talk.”
Joanna did what her friend said, sitting on the step below. Miriam sat beside Mandy, who nudged her twin.
“I heard Wendy told you my news.” Miriam wrapped her arms around her knees. “I didn’t know you and Jacob were courting again. It’s my fault. I should have told Mandy Jacob had been coming up to see me for the last year. He’d hire a driver on Saturday afternoons.”
“I didn’t know, honestly,” Mandy said. “I’m as surprised as anyone. Miriam and I don’t talk about that sort of thing.”
“She hasn’t approved of anyone I’ve courted.”
“I’ve stopped asking,” Mandy said.
“Which makes me sound worse than I actually am—or was. I broke up with Jacob after we dated for those first few months because he assumed I was wild based on rumors he’d heard about me.”
Joanna thought of Jacob saying he’d found her the most “interesting” of all the girls at the singing on the night they first met. Perhaps he’d said the exact same thing to Miriam.
“But over time, he wore me down.”
Joanna believed her. She tried to keep her voice steady. “Do you care if I ask a few questions? Personal ones.”
Miriam’s voice was full of concern. “How personal?”
“Not that personal, I promise.” Joanna folded her hands. “Will you and Jacob be shunned?”
“Jah.”
“Do you love him?”
“Do you?” Miriam asked.
“Nee,” Joanna answered. Absolutely not, but there was no need to say that out loud.
Miriam let go of her knees and slumped backward a little. “Nee, I don’t either. We’d been going out, off and on, for so long that he became familiar.” She grimaced. “Too familiar. But I never loved him, not really.”
Joanna felt ill. Poor Miriam. “What was going on with Jacob and Veronica?”
“He wanted to court her—until I told him, you know, what’s going on with me.” Miriam rolled her eyes. “He didn’t put it together that Veronica’s our baby cousin. That really stung.”
Joanna wrinkled her nose. “Jacob shouldn’t have gone out with her at all,” she said. “He’s twenty-six.”
Miriam and Mandy nodded in unison.
“I have one more question,” Joanna said. “What does your grandfather say about all of this?”
“That we’ll make a confession.” Miriam hugged her knees again. “Then be shunned, restored, and then married. It happens all the time.”
“But do you want to marry Jacob?” Joanna leaned toward Miriam. “This will be for the rest of your life.”
Miriam’s voice was barely above a whisper.
Her confidence was gone. “What choice do I have? Mammi Elaine is already beside herself with shame. I think this is her worst fear come true. I spoke to our parents yesterday on the phone—they’re mortified too.
Honestly, Dawdi Daniel has been the most supportive. ”