Chapter 3 What Happened?
“This used to be a haven to minha nora,” Mr. Ribeiro said as we entered the kitchen. His cane made stark click and clack noises as he moved around the space with eased familiarity.
I followed him inside, then stood next to the well-used counter on the left. “Nora?”
Mr. Ribeiro turned, and blinked as if ridding himself of a daze before giving me a faint smile.
“Minha nora, meaning my daughter-in-law,” he said with a tinge of pain on his face.
“The kitchen was where you’d always find her.
She never gave up a single chance of making a feast for us, and would drive my son, Jo?o, mad with her endless grocery lists.
” He chuckled to himself with a slow shake of his head.
“She was so enthusiastic to learn our ways and language when he’d first introduced her to me and my wife, Irene.
So enthusiastic, that it sometimes drove him insane.
” He pursed his lips in contemplation. “Madison was something else entirely, and was, in truth, the life of our family.” His features turned crestfallen for a moment, but then he quickly recovered before taking a seat on one of the silver stools next to the pantry shelf.
I looked around the kitchen – at the periwinkle mosaic wallpaper, white countertops, silver appliances and furniture, and then at Mr. Ribeiro, who laughed airily.
“I told you she was different,” he stated.
The rest of the house was warmly mellow – all shades of brown, yellow, and the slightest bit of red – which made the kitchen stand out quite massively.
“So, you’d like me to renovate this area to match the rest of the house?” I asked.
“Not really, no.” He placed his cane sideways between his legs.
“I do want the periwinkle and silver incorporated somehow into the mix, because those were Madison’s colors, but mostly I just want everything new.
Carina and I have been facing leakage and other issues for the past few months, and, as you can tell, the countertops have clearly seen better days.
She likes it here, but she’s been having pest and water problems that I just won’t stand to bear. ”
I inclined my head in agreement. “I can call in the pest control once I’ve cleared the space out for the makeover, and I can do ivory tiles on the walls instead of a wallpaper.
Those work well, and you won’t have to worry about replacing them time and again.
The flooring can be the same, or I can use a darker shade to add a contrast element.
” I pointed at the white cabinets. “I can have Taron build completely new ones with a beige fiber coating on ‘em to avoid roaches.” I then patted the counter. “I can do periwinkle marble on top, with the same beige drawers as the cabinets. The appliances and furniture can have silver accents. That way, we’ll be able to balance the theme and keep the colors you want.”
Mr. Ribeiro nodded. “I like the idea, and I’m sure Carina will, too. But do discuss this with her today, if possible.”
“Of course. Um,” I scratched my jaw. “I could give you a reference catalog for the tiles.”
Mr. Ribeiro waved a dismissive hand. “I’m sure you’ll pick something appropriate. I’m too old for this sorta thing.”
I smiled. “You got it.” I then slid my gloves into the back pocket of my jeans before leaning my hip gently against the refrigerator behind me. “If you don’t mind me asking: what…what happened to Carina’s mom?”
Mr. Ribeiro looked at me, a bit startled by my question, of course, to which I quickly added, “I’m sorry if I’m overstepping. I know it’s not my place to inquire about something so sensitive.”
“Then why did you?” There was no anger on his face, or his voice.
I dropped my eyes to the floor, and realized that a lot of it was cracked and uneven, clearly due to the constant presence of people bustling around in the kitchen.
“I guess…I just wanna know,” I said, and then glanced at Mr. Ribeiro. “I feel like I have to know, for some reason.”
He said nothing, and only kept looking at me for a long, contemplative moment. Or maybe it was an uncertainty about my intentions of wanting to know. I honestly couldn’t tell.
“Have you heard of the March 2000 Laura. M. Boutique fire?” he asked.
The hair on the back of my neck rose at the leveled calm he exuded in that moment. “Yes,” I managed to say.
He looked at me – really looked – and I saw a glimmer of unshed tears in his brown eyes.
“Ours was a case of ‘In the wrong place at the wrong time’, I’ll say,” he began, and then swallowed once.
“Carina didn’t wanna go to school that day, because on her way back home a week ago, she’d seen a dress at the boutique that she really wanted.
And, when you’re six years old and an only child, you get what you want.
So, we decided to make it a family trip and get some absolutely unnecessary shopping done.
” He sighed and wiped a hand over his jaw.
“We’d just made it out of the boutique when Madison found a fault in the bill.
Apparently, the cashier had added a couple of items to our list that weren’t ours.
Her and Jo?o decided to head in again and get the money back, so my wife, Irene, and I decided to take Carina to the McDonald’s just opposite Laura’s for a quick ice cream.
” He sniffed. “We heard the outer glass explode while we were waiting for our ice creams, and then, right before my eyes – before I could even comprehend what was happening – the entire boutique went up in flames.” He shuddered, so I turned and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
“Here.” I handed him the bottle, and then knelt beside him. I watched helplessly as he continued to shiver under the weight of the dreadful memory, and felt something in my gut twist so hard that I flinched a little at the pain.
“Carina screamed for them as soon as we ran out of McDonald’s – over, and over, and over…
” Mr. Ribeiro closed his eyes and shook his head.
“But it was useless. They were gone. They were gone, and there was nothing I could do, no one I could turn to for help.” He took a long swig from the water bottle.
“There were 64 casualties that day, including Jo?o and Madison. The fire department said it was arson – some sort of rivalry at play, which was later revealed fully through news and the media. But…” He looked at me – a man so broken I was scared he’d crumble before me.
“I keep asking myself: What if Carina had decided to go to school that day? What if we hadn’t decided to go out shopping when Madison suggested it?
What if I’d asked her not to go back in after reading the bill?
What if I’d asked Jo?o to convince her not to?
What if…” He let go of an unsteady breath and shook his head again.
“That’s all I’m left with: what ifs, maybes, if onlys.
All of them baseless against the significance of my loss, really. ”
He was right; nothing mattered. What was taken from him would never come back to him, and thinking about it constantly would only empower agonizing and unwarranted guilt to take over him.
Life really was a bitch, wasn’t she?
I placed a hand on his left knee. “I’m so sorry for your loss, Mr. Ribeiro.”
He sighed again and gave me a faint nod.
“That day – it was the last I ever heard my Carina’s voice.
All those speech therapy sessions and meetings with her doctors over the years did nothing, meant nothing.
She can hear just fine, but she can’t speak.
I don’t want to say she’s lost her voice, because really, she hasn’t.
I guess…I guess she never really tried to put it to use after the accident.
It’s like she forgot about it; forgot to speak, and what it means in general.
It took us a couple of years, but when the three of us found a rhythm and began living our lives normally, I thought the darkness that’d surrounded us was gone, that it had decided to finally leave our doorstep, but…
” He laughed then, a haunting gesture that made my heart race.
“I guess God wasn’t done punishing this family, because in 2017, I lost my Irene to metastatic melanoma.
” When I squeezed his knee in assurance, because I really didn’t have words to salve the pain I knew he was feeling just by revisiting the past, he gently patted my hand and gave me a glum smile.
“But she fought, Myles; my wife didn’t give up till the very end.
She was brave, willing to grab a chance at life, no matter how slim it was.
But, in the end, she lost. The strongest pillar in the foundation of my existence just…
collapsed. Her death wasn’t sudden, sure, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t hoping against hope, that I didn’t pray that she’d break the cycle of inevitability for me and Carina. ”
We were quiet for a while, with only the occasional jeering of a flock of blue jays as they moved around the neighborhood, keeping us indirect company.
I glanced at Mr. Ribeiro, and found him staring blankly at the glass window in the living room. I followed his direction, and watched as thin sheets of snow fell peacefully on the hoods of trucks and cars alike.
He’d seen, felt, and recovered from so much, and yet, he knew how to balance himself, knew how to look the part for others; how to mask what was really on the inside.
It may not always be necessary, but it was important, especially when it felt like the walls around you were close to falling apart.
Everyone had to act or pretend in this world.
The range of it, though, depended on the level of one’s struggles and bruises. And also their conveniences, perhaps.
Mr. Ribeiro threw the half-empty water bottle into the bin to his right, and made to stand.
I rose quickly, and then helped him to his feet before handing him his cane.
He briefly placed a hand over my head, and gave me another smile – a clear one this time – before saying, “Let me show you the storeroom so that you can get an estimate, huh, son?”
I could see it on his face – that soundless plea of wanting a distraction from the fresh wave of agony he was experiencing. And, because it was the least I could do for him, given that he’d entrusted me with such crucial memories of his past, I nodded and followed him out of the kitchen.