Chapter 8 Rejection
They’re so annoyingly abstract, these emotions. And yet, they see no rhyme or reason; they just attack. They claw at you so deep – their talons sharp and piercing – that you have no choice but to surrender.
I’ll never fully know why I can’t let certain things go. Why I can’t stop thinking about the different outcomes they’d lead to if only I could just…ask. If only I could put a proper voice to the things I wanted to know and learn about.
Things I simply wanted to say. Out loud.
His rejection had slammed against me like a wrecking ball, even though it shouldn’t have.
His sympathy towards my naivety had been embarrassing, to say the least.
And the way he’d said my name after I’d told him that he’d hurt me – it’d been just as painful to hear as the words he’d uttered just before it.
I can’t. I really can’t, I’m sorry.
Well, I couldn’t, either.
I couldn’t stand the idea of him having affected me so much. We were strangers, after all, and he was here only temporarily, to fix something that actually needed fixing. You know, the walls, the floors, the cabinets.
Not me.