Chapter 34 Blue-eyed Parasite
“Is it a Prince Albert?” Daniel guessed. “Just to spite your overly religious family and maybe shorten their lifespans?”
I choked on my CW Jr.
Yes, I am well aware that it’s a kids blend smoothie, but it’s one of the best Smoothie King has to offer, and I simply can’t resist the banana-and-strawberry combo.
“What, no!” Remi exclaimed in response to Daniel’s suggestion, and then huffed. “Come on, man; you can do better than that.”
“A nipple piercing? Navel piercing? Toenail piercing?” Daniel said, looking a little disinterested at this point.
“Why do you think it’s a piercing?” Remi asked. “It could literally be anything.”
Daniel waved a hand in front of his face. “I don’t know, Remi; I’ve just got an intuition, okay?”
Sitting behind the main counter at Vila do Acaí, I sipped some more of my CW Jr. as I glanced between the two of them.
Remi had walked into the shop fifteen minutes ago with a blinding smile on his face, and had asked us to guess ‘what he’d gotten’. The question was very vague, and he wasn’t even willing to hand out clues so that we could make more concrete assumptions.
Simran was sitting behind her counter, busy tapping away on her laptop as she blew chewing gum bubbles every so often. She was a universal mood, in my opinion, and I respected her so much for that.
“Fuck your intuition, man,” Remi said to Daniel.
“Okay, okay,” Daniel straightened from where he was standing at the bakery’s entrance. “I’ve got it.”
“What?” Remi asked skeptically, but there was still a flash of hope on his face.
“Pussy,” Daniel announced triumphantly. “You finally got some pussy. After years of lusting over eligible women in Chicago, you finally found the one who let you cash it in.”
I coughed behind a fist. That was savage.
Remi shot daggers at Daniel. “I give up.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re helplessly ridiculous, you blue-eyed parasite.” He then turned to me. “Rina? Can you take a guess?” he asked hopefully.
Uh…
A flamingo tattoo on your ass cheek? I signed. I had to spell the word flamingo as it had no specific Sign.
Daniel began cackling. “And you called me a parasite,” he told Remi, and then continued to laugh.
I bit the inside of my top lip to stop myself from joining him, and blinked innocently at Remi when he sent a glare in my direction.
“Seriously, Rina?” he said, which made Daniel laugh harder.
Simran just rolled her eyes at him and muttered, “Degenerate,” before pulling out a set of order receipts from her printer and giving them her full attention.
Sorry, I signed to Remi.
He clicked his tongue. “It’s fine; you’re forgiven.”
“What about me?” Daniel inquired.
“You,” Remi pointed a finger at him, “need to go fuck yourself, asshole. You didn’t even say you were sorry.”
“That’s because I’m not,” Daniel said easily.
I chuckled, and even Simran deemed that funny, because she smirked briefly.
“Fine, whatever.” Daniel shook his head. “But at least tell us what you got.”
Remi puffed out his chest a little. “This.” He pointed at the full-sleeved t-shirt he was wearing.
“It’s been unavailable for months, but last week, I got an email from the brand saying they have a limited stock up on their online store for sale.
I was lucky enough to get my order in before the damn thing got sold out again.
” He grinned as he looked between the three of us.
Ohmygod.
I stared at the tie-dye t-shirt, at the Flintstones guy printed on it, and the words ‘Yabba Dabba Doo’ that were written above his head in a curved manner.
Nice, I signed, and forced out a smile.
“Christ Almighty,” Daniel said, and placed a hand over his heart. “I rattled off so many valuable, meaningful guesses, just to be beaten by…this?
“Not everyone finds happiness through acts of sexual nature, Daniel,” Remi countered.
“Clearly not.” It was almost comical how horrified Daniel looked. He reminded me so much of Tom Ellis’s character, Lucifer Morningstar, from Netflix’s Lucifer.
I cleared my throat and clapped my hands.
My crew looked at me, and I raised my brows at them before signing, Get to work, everyone.
“Yes, boss,” Daniel said with a smirk, and then disappeared inside the bakery.
Simran gave me a thumbs up, whereas Remi sighed and began rearranging the takeaway boxes on his counter.
The electronic bird on the shop’s door chirped. A second later, a bunch of high school kids walked in, and my phone dinged with a new message.
I took a sip of my smoothie as I read it.
Beauty: Requesting status report.
I smiled.
Me: I’m fine :’)
He’d texted me at least twenty times asking if I was okay since I’d left the house two hours ago.
Beauty: Are you having cramps? A headache? Knee pains?
I chuckled.
Me: Yes to all, but they’re bearable.
Beauty: Do you need more chocolates? I could bring them over if you’d like.
Me: Shouldn’t you be working?
Beauty: Fuck work, babe.
I finished my smoothie and slid the empty cup to the side.
Me: Hey, now. I want my personal library ???
Beauty: I know, and you’ll get it. Me worrying about you doesn’t affect the renovation process.
Me: Yay!
Beauty: So, chocolates? Or maybe lemon tea?
I chuckled again.
Me: I’m good, Myles.
“Special delivery!” Daniel placed a mini tray on the counter with a flourish. “Cruz sent these cookies for ya.”
I smiled. Thank you, I signed.
Daniel gave me a wink before walking away.
Beauty: Okay, if you say so.
I shoved a warm piece of cookie into my mouth.
Fuck, that was good.
I could taste Acaí and cinnamon and something nutty in it, and with how soft it was, it melted almost immediately into my mouth.
Me: Can I ask you something?
I finished an entire cookie as I waited for Myles to reply.
I had payroll sheets to finalize and stock receipts to sign, but here I was, shamelessly eating baked goods and distracting my boyfriend when he, too, was supposed to be working.
Beauty: Of course.
I bit my lower lip as I typed out my question.
Me: Have you ever considered getting your dick pierced?
I fully blamed Daniel for putting that thought in my head.
Beauty: Daniel, is that you? Have you hijacked Rina’s phone? Is this your way of getting back to me about yesterday?
I laughed, then put my phone aside so that I could ring up the high-schoolers. I collected their cash, handed them their slips, and then grabbed my phone again when they stepped out of the shop.
Me: What happened yesterday?
Myles told me about him having video-called Daniel to ask for his assistance on getting sanitary pads for me, and how the whole thing had basically turned into him and Cruz roasting Daniel.
The pads Myles had picked out for me were…
insufficiently inaccurate. They were a little too small for my liking, and I had to use two of them at a time to double their length.
But hey, I genuinely appreciated his help, and I knew he’d done the best he could, given his lack of knowledge in the department.
Also, the incident had taught me to be better prepared for the next month, and to triple-check my sanitary stock beforehand to avoid such unexpected emergencies.
Me: You people are really hard on Daniel. He’s just trying to exist in this world by being his inappropriate self. Give him a break.
Beauty: He deserves it, especially for all the leftovers he’s tricked me into eating.
I smiled as I shook my head.
Me: You didn’t answer my previous question.
I don’t know why I was pushing it. Maybe because I wanted to get a laugh on, on Myles’s behest, or…
Maybe because I was hoping our conversation would actually make him consider getting a piercing. It’s not like I wanted him to, but if he did get one, I wouldn’t complain about it.
Beauty: I’m willing to do anything for you, Rina. ANYTHING. But just not this. I’m too fragile, and my cock has already hidden all the way into its shell in complete horror just by me having read that question.
I placed a hand over my mouth and snort-laughed, earning curious looks from both Remi and Simran.
Me: Its SHELL? Seriously, Myles?
Beauty: Scabbard? Sheath? Capsule? Canopy?
I just couldn’t stop laughing like a damn moron.
Me: Stop it.
Beauty: Well, YOU’RE the one who had an objection to my initial choice of word, didn’t you?
I sniffed and shook my head.
Me: Go back to work.
Beauty: Abrupt change of subject ??? I see you, babe.
Me: Do you really want Av? to find you texting me instead of working on the library?
Beauty: That’s low, Rina ·? ? ,·?
Me: I didn’t have a choice. I had to pull out all the stops.
Beauty: Are you trying to get rid of me? ?_?
I smiled and rolled my eyes.
Me: Never ( ? 3?)
He didn’t respond immediately, so I passed the time by opening up all four payroll pdfs on the shop’s laptop and updating Cruz’s sheet first.
I had only just started working on Daniel’s, though, when my phone lit up with a new text from Myles.
Beauty: You were right; Mr. Ribeiro caught me. In the guest bathroom, no less.
I chuckled.
Me: I warned you, didn’t I?
Me: Also, what the hell were you doing with your phone out in the guest bathroom?
Beauty: I know this looks scandalous…
I laughed.
Me: It so does.
Beauty: You’re making it sound like it is.
Me: Well, then tell me what IS it?
Beauty: My phone was already in my hand when I went into the bathroom. I needed to pee, and I also had to text you. I was only keeping my priorities in check, but now I’m pretty sure your grandfather thinks I was sending you nudes. Or worse, that I was sending nudes to someone else ·? ? ,·?
I was tearing up with how much I was laughing.
Me: As if your reputation with him isn’t strained enough already.
Beauty: I don’t know what to do. I saw my life flash before my eyes when he found me.
Me: You brought this on yourself.
Beauty: You’re supposed to be on MY side.
Me: But I like my head on my shoulders :’)
Beauty: Traitor.
“Yo, boss.”
I looked up from my phone, and saw Simran standing on the other side of the counter.
“The inventory guy just texted me,” she said. “He’s on the way here. I’ve printed the invoice already, so I just need your signature.”
I grabbed a pen from the second drawer and signed the invoice, and after I handed it back to her, I signed, Take Cruz with you.
She nodded, then walked over to the bakery before yelling, “Cruz, get your meaty ass out here! I need your help with inventory.”
A second later, a sprinkled-with-flour Cruz stepped out of the kitchen and scowled at Simran.
She ignored his expression, of course, and turned her back to him before marching out the shop’s back door.
Cruz huffed, dusted himself a little, and followed her out to the alley.
We had a room just above the shop for storing our monthly inventory. Usually, it was Simran who kept track of everything, but occasionally, Cruz liked to help her just so he could stay up-to-date with the quantity of stuff we ordered, and its manufacture + expiration dates.
The landline on Simran’s counter went off, startling me a little.
Remi stepped away from his counter to receive the call, just as the shop’s door opened and a group of our regular customers walked in.
I immediately got to my feet and took Remi’s place behind his counter.
He was busy writing down a bulk order from the customer on-call, so I’d have to be the one to handle the incoming crowd.
I realized that I hadn’t responded to Myles’s last message, so as I waited for one of my customers to pick something for me to box for them, I quickly sent out a text.
Me: The usual morning rush has started. If I don’t text you for a while, know that I’m busy schmoozing and making money.
Beauty: You got it. But try to get off your feet a little, okay? It’s still your second day, and I read online that it’s a painful one :/
Ugh, he was too sweet.
Me: I promise :’)
Beauty: Good. I gotta go piece together one of your bookshelves. Text me when you’re free.
Me: Will do.
I slid my phone into my back pocket, and grinned broadly as Mrs. Hudson, one of my regulars, stepped in front of the counter and rattled off her order to me, while a group of others waited behind her for their turn.
Hoo, boy.
It was going to be a long day, that was for sure.