Chapter 14 Ford #2
Royce still didn’t seem convinced and blew out an angry breath as a way of showing it. “I don’t want to go anywhere with you, Ford. I hate you and want nothing to do with you.”
That hurt, but I’d been dealing with her apathy toward me my entire life. So it was nothing new.
“Noted. Now, can you please come out here and get on the back of my bike? I promise to give you what’s yours and then get the fuck out of your life.”
She blinked too fast for me to catch the welling of tears I’d hoped would coat those thick lashes.
“Go, Royce. It’ll help you get the closure you need and talk about the letters you found at the cottage.”
“What letters?”
Taryn’s brows raised as if she were surprised I didn’t know what she was talking about. Then, with an imperceptible nod, I realized she was throwing me a bone and trying to help me with her sister. Royce likely wouldn’t tell me about them, and now she’d have no choice but to.
“I can’t believe you talked me into going home first to drop my bike, Taryn.
Let’s get this over with.” Royce finally stormed past Connor and down the hall that I had just walked out of.
She threw the door open and briskly jogged down the steps.
I gave a small nod to Taryn and then to Connor before following her.
She sat atop my bike with her arms crossed, and I hated that even wearing a tattered sweater and jeans, she was still the most gorgeous thing I had ever seen.
Even knowing she hated me, I still swung my leg over and then waited for her legs to cradle my hips.
She was resistant, but the second I started the bike and slipped my helmet on, she moved closer until her hands hung loosely at my sides.
Once I began moving, she was pressed against me, with her arms wrapped tight around me. I decided I’d take the long way back to my house, because having her this close to me was the best feeling I’d ever fucking had in my whole life.
“We’re here. Where’s my stuff?”
I set my keys down on the small side table and locked the door. Royce flicked a brow up, and I laughed.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t grow up in a house where everything remained locked, and your dad was always on high alert.”
Royce released her arms from being fastened over her chest and moved toward the living room, staring at the framed photos on the wall.
“Your house is ugly.”
I slipped out of my boots and withheld the urge to remind her that at least I had my own place.
“Noted.”
“Stop saying that. It drives me crazy,” Royce snapped. Her head shook as she moved into the dining room and removed the baton I had in the center of the table. After jutting her hand down, the weapon slid to its full length.
“You have a lot of weapons hidden around here.”
I didn’t say anything.
“Like more than my dad has hidden around our house,” she continued.
Heading toward my bedroom, I called over my shoulder,“I don’t have to worry about kids running around, so might seem that way.”
She scoffed. “Yet. Just call Jasmine back up, I’m sure she’ll spread her legs and let you fuck her bareback. Probably beg you to finish inside.”
Dammit. My anger stirred, and all the shit I had built to withstand her and all this fucking toxic shit that always brewed between us seemed to dissipate, and there was no protection from how raw I felt.
Reaching for the shoebox I had tucked away in the top part of my closet, I pulled it down and turned toward where she leaned in the doorframe of my room.
“I didn’t call her, Royce. She was at the club when I got there.”
“Because you went on a date with her. I can’t believe you flirted with me after taking her out.”
I slammed the small shoebox down on my dresser, which made her eyes snap to it and her nose flare.
“What is that?”
Seething, I said, “Hopefully the fucking end to all of this.”
I wanted her to open it in front of me, but I also didn’t. This felt like handing her a blade to slice through our past, and an opportunity to create new wounds.
She stepped forward and tentatively wrapped her hands around the box. She didn’t open it. I watched as she hugged it to her chest as if it were precious.
“Is this it?”
Other than what she’d left inside of my chest? “Yeah, that’s it.”
Lifting her chin, she said, “Then I’d like to go home.”
Nodding, I remembered what she’d said back at Connor’s house. “Show me the letters.”
“What?” she faltered back a step.
I took one closer. “This morning you didn’t hate me. You wouldn’t be this angry that I stole your box of shit from Connor. You’re mad about the letters. Show me.”
Her dark brow flicked up. “You stole it from Connor?”
“Connor asked me to take the box to you that night he proposed. I took it, just didn’t give it back to you like he asked.”
“Why?” Her back was against the wall, and having her in my bedroom was way too fucking enticing.
“Show me the letters.”
Her head moved from side to side. “You can’t bargain for them while also threatening to keep me here.”
I smirked. “You can walk home.”
She bit down on her bottom lip like she was deciding what to do. “I’ll hand them to you, but don’t read them. Just like I won’t look in this box. We’ll trade, and then you take me home.”
The urge to kiss that smart mouth was intense. I had to lower my gaze to the floor while I thought over what I was about to do.
“Deal.”
Royce still seemed to war with indecision, but eventually let one hand fall from the box and twist behind her. She pulled a few pieces of folded paper from her back pocket.
“Where did you get these?” My brow furrowed as I stared at her outstretched hand.
“I was cleaning up at the cottage. These were falling out of a book under Rook’s bed. I would have left them, but I saw my name.”
My stomach flipped with unease as I began tracing my memories for what I had written to Rook about. I had never given him a letter of any kind or sent him anything. Whatever was on the note had her angry enough that she wanted nothing to do with me and wouldn’t even look inside the box.
“Okay, you have them, now take me home.” Royce demanded, clutching the shoebox to her chest once more.
I dipped my head in agreement. “Lead the way.”
The moment she cleared the door, I shut and locked her out.
“Hey!” her fist landed against the wood in a thud. “Ford, you promised.”
Ignoring her, I unfolded the pages and began scanning the text.
“Ford! Take me home or I’ll start ruining your house.”
She could have fun with that; it was already a complete piece of shit.
“Fine, I’m looking in the box.”
Didn’t care, I wanted her to anyway. I read through the conversation I had with Rook when we were sixteen. I had been jealous of Connor, and of the fact that she’d ignored my card at Christmas. Why would seeing this hurt her so much, though? We were little assholes, but so was she back then.
Swinging open the door, I found Royce standing by the television stand with the top of the shoebox lid open, but she’d yet to pull anything out.
“You’re pissed at me for something I did when I was sixteen?”
She gently plucked the first item out of the box and held it up, fanning herself with it. The Christmas card she’d rejected.
“Seems you’re still pissed at me for something I did when I was fifteen, so why not?”
Raking a hand through my hair, I pulled the ends in frustration.
“You didn’t even read it.”
Determined, she set it down and faced me. “You were so mean to me over winter break, why would I ever read a card from you when I knew it probably said that you hated me or something.”
“Well, now you’ll never know.” I moved to snatch the card from her, but she pulled her hand behind her back.
“No, it’s mine now.”
I stared at her, breathing hard. “It’s always been yours, Royce. You just didn’t fucking want it.” Did she realize I was talking about my heart and not the stupid card? Did she have any idea at all that I was completely and achingly in love with her?
“What if I want it now?” Her breathy whisper scraped against the edges of my heart, burning something in my chest. I didn’t want to get hurt again.
All she’d ever done was hurt me, and she either didn’t know or she didn’t care.
“Maybe there was a chance to have it, and that time has passed.”
Her lip wobbled the smallest bit, which prompted my hand to come up to her jaw and cup it.
“Because there’s someone else?” She searched my face.
The pathetic laugh that scraped up my throat hurt because of how thick it felt. “How could there be anyone else when you’re still the only girl I’ve ever kissed?”
Her frantic gaze searched mine, and I could see the small pieces beginning to click for her.
“But…you’ve had girls. I’ve seen you with them.”
Lifting my finger to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear, I explained. “Did it all without kissing, Rose. The thing that drives me mad is that I still have no idea what you taste like, or what it would be like to—”
“That’s why you drew an alarming number of sketches of my lips, right?” She tilted her head, as if examining me in a completely new light. “I found them in the shoebox…there were so many sketches of me. Some of my mouth, my face, my hair…”
A flush wound up through my neck and face as I tried to laugh, but it came out choked. “Keep looking and you’ll even find a few of your tits and ass.”
Her slow blink told me she hadn’t quite processed what it all meant yet.
“So you sketched me, wrote me this card…stole my box from Connor then talked shit about me to Rook. I don’t get it…”
“Why did you care about Jasmine, Royce?” My question took her off guard from the way her mouth went slack, and she dropped the card back into the box.
“Well, I—”
“Only honesty here,” I whispered.
Those blue eyes burned as she stared back at me, then with a defiant chin lift, she admitted everything. “Because I was jealous. I already told you that I once had a crush on you, and you told me that if you still had one on me, you would have done something about it.”
Hope inflated my chest dangerously, perilously. “What do you think I’m doing right now?”
Her eyes slammed closed as she shook her head. “Confusing me. Can you just be fucking honest about whether you like me or not?”
I pulled her face between my hands and forced her to look at me. “Like you?”
She nodded slowly, but the pull in my belly had me moving my mouth to catch whatever words she planned to say next.
Her lips were made of silk, her jaw felt like glass as I cradled her close and slowly moved my mouth against hers. She let out a tiny groan as she kissed me back and placed her hands against my chest, curling her fingers against the fabric of my shirt.
I carefully licked at the seam of her lips, requesting deeper access, and she obliged on another moan. Hot and wet, her tongue slid against mine as I moved my palm from her jaw down to her hip, where I held her steadily against me. This was everything I’d ever wanted. Bliss.
Perfection.
Royce pulled back first, staring up at me as if I had tricked her. Something pinched tight in my chest as I realized that’s probably how she’d view this entire thing.
“I stole that box, Royce, because you’d given so much of yourself to him…
it wasn’t fair that he’d hand it all back as if it hadn’t ever mattered.
I had lived vicariously through him for so long that I felt like they were my memories too.
Those times you smiled, kissed him, gave him a picture of yourself, but you never gave one to anyone else.
The times you would kiss him but stare at me.
The times you didn’t think I saw you slide your panties down your legs when you’d wear dresses, so he could touch you.
Did you know that Connor used me as a way to get away with it?
His parents would always say yes to those late-night movies you’d tag along to, as long as I was down there with you guys.
Did you really think I was unaware that he was fingering you under those blankets?
I knew, Royce. I always knew, and I wanted the tiny gasps you let out.
I wanted to see what your face looked like when he made you come undone.
I was so obsessed with you, I was willing to steal every single scrap of whatever was left of you. ”
Her eyes fixated on my throat, but I caught her lip wobble. “Ford.”
“My wild rose,” I whispered in reply before pressing my mouth to hers again. It was tentative, like a whisper of a kiss asking if she wanted this again. Her reply was to open her mouth and slide her tongue against mine.
Gripping her ribs, I pulled her against me right as a loud pounding on my front door broke the moment, forcing Royce to pull away.
“It’s Taryn.”
“If you two have killed each other, I’m gonna be so pissed!” A muffled yell came through the door.
I released her and then forced myself to take a step back. When she remained where she was, and then lifted her chin, a tiny piece of hope fluttered in my chest.
“I have to go.” She sounded like she wanted to stay.
I didn’t argue, just stood there staring. I finally kissed Royce Quinn, and now she was about to go home and put up walls, creating reasons why she shouldn’t have done it.
“Ford, I need to put eyes on my sister!” Taryn yelled again, which made Royce smile.
I liked seeing it, so I smiled back.
She glanced at the door before swiveling her head back to where I stood.
“Good night, Ford.”
My lip twitched. “Night, Rose.”