CHAPTER EIGHT
Tidworth, Summer, Seven Years Later
It was a beautiful morning as Emma looked out her bedroom window. From the second story, she could see the fields on Audsley’s estates and could smell the jasmine which surrounded the house. It was her favorite time of year and she yearned to go for a walk.
The beating of a tail against her leg had her looking down at Patsy. “Good morning, girl,” she said as she picked up her beloved dog for the trek downstairs. Their younger pup, Victoria, raced ahead of them, but Patsy was no longer able to easily walk up and down the stairs by herself. Emma welcomed the opportunity to cuddle her.
She walked through the kitchen to let her two companions out the back door to explore the garden while she put the kettle on. A few moments later, Emma was outside watching the dogs learn what was new since the last time they’d done that very thing the night before. This was their routine now that they were the only ones who resided at Jasmine Cottage.
It had been that way for three months since Lily had gone to work for Sir Oliver Wadsworth, though there’d always been the possibility that Lily and her brother Toby might return. But now that Lily and Oliver were married, Emma would only see her friend when she came to visit. That meant Emma was officially alone at the cottage for the first time since she and Grace had moved in seven years earlier, other than for Patsy and Victoria. It was a bittersweet realization.
Emma was happy for her sister and their three friends, who’d all found true love. And they all lived just a few hours away. Grace and her husband Carter had even just bought a house in the neighborhood next to Audsley Abbey. It would be wonderful to have them so close, though Emma was determined to give the newly married couple plenty of privacy.
She was happy in her home, especially now that her generous brother-in-law had contributed so much to her account at Mrs. Canterbury’s shop that she’d never have to use credit again. She still missed her parents very much and was worried that she hadn’t heard from them for quite some time. Her cousin was now the earl and she’d asked him to have his man of business see if he could locate them. So far, he’d learned nothing, which was worrisome, though Emma knew there was a likelihood her parents had simply set off for a different part of the world once they’d seen enough of China. She hoped they’d return soon, safe and hale, and ready to settle down in England.
All things considered, she was doing well and hadn’t a care in the world. Except for the fact she was still in love with Audsley.
She knew she shouldn’t be. And she should certainly forget they ever had relations. Things had been strained between them for years, starting with their disastrous but lovely interlude in the maze. They never spoke of it and she had never told him how hurt she’d been that he’d told his mother about it. Fortunately, she’d not seen Lady Audsley much since that day, other than the occasional sighting in London. Most of her interaction with Audsley had been sporadic and almost always of the landlord-tenant variety when he took the opportunity to scold her for some such matter, though she was grateful that he’d never asked for additional rent, especially when Emma was certain whatever her parents had paid certainly wouldn’t have lasted this long.
They might have continued on this way for the rest of their lives had Grace not married one of his best friends. He’d even hosted the ladies of Jasmine Cottage at his home in London during Grace and Carter’s courtship, though Emma had wondered if that had just been an excuse to find more things to criticize her for. But he’d been quite civil, even kind. And there had been times when Emma had caught him staring at her and she’d wondered if he was thinking back to a time when they had been friends. More than friends. Their interlude had obviously meant a great deal to Emma and almost nothing to Audsley. But she wondered if he hadn’t felt at least a little something, though it obviously hadn’t been enough for a future between them.
Living in such close quarters with him had made Emma realize she was just as attracted to him as the day she’d begged him to make love to her. She even thought he might feel the same attraction. But now that she was older and wiser, she realized that didn’t mean he was in love with her.
Far from it.
She finished her tea and called to her pups. After a moment, they both bounded to her and she took them inside so all three of them could have something to eat. She would spend the morning playing with her dogs and reading, before calling on Grace and Carter. It was as perfect of a day as she could imagine.
Except she wouldn’t see Audsley.
* * *
Audsley had had another restless night. He was in the country, far from the cacophony of London. But instead of relaxing him, it made him think of the biggest failure in his life. He still couldn’t accept the fact he was this close to Emma, but she would never be his.
Every time he was at the abbey, he was haunted by what had happened in the maze. Having Emma under his roof in London had been torture. He’d seen her at dinner, heard her laugh and smelled her delicate scent in his halls. Worst of all, he’d known exactly which bedchamber she’d been in. Each night he’d had to convince himself it wouldn’t be wise to knock on her door to ask if she needed anything. Because he was truly afraid he’d tell her exactly how much he needed her.
Now that he was back in the country, nothing was stopping him from marching over to Jasmine Cottage and asking her to marry him. Nothing other than his heart, which couldn’t bear more rejection from the woman who unknowingly held his affections. His love.
After their time in London, he thought he might be making progress, but he needed to be patient, as if seven long years wouldn’t have tested the patience of Job. Now that Carter and Grace were next door, he would see Emma at every opportunity, even if he had to camp out over there. Who cared if Carter wanted to be alone with his new wife? It was time Audsley had his own bride.
With that determination in mind, he finished dressing and set out for a walk, intending to reach Carter’s home within the quarter hour, given its close proximity to the abbey. What was surprising was when he reached Jasmine Cottage, instead.
He rapped on the door, which set off barks on the other side. He was glad Emma at least had the sense to keep her two dogs close, now that she lived alone. But knowing the dogs as he did, he didn’t think they’d offer much protection.
The door was opened a moment later by Emma herself. As always, the sight of her made his senses come alive. “I still think you should hire a maid to stay with you,” he said, as he bent to pet the dogs, who were wagging their tails and clamoring for his attention. If only Emma would be half as glad to see him. “I’ll provide one if you’ll allow it. I know Carter has offered repeatedly to help in any way he can. And before you say you won’t take charity, he is your brother-in-law and it is both his honor and his duty to help you.”
“He has already been more than generous with my account at Mrs. Canterbury’s shop, though I believe she raises her prices every time I go in here.”
“I’ll have a word with her,” said Audsley. He had no doubt the gossipy shopkeeper would try to make a profit out of Emma’s sudden good fortune. “May I come in? Your dogs seem happy for my company.”
“Are you saying I do not?” She had just a trace of a smirk and he wanted to kiss it off her. He just wanted to kiss her, smirk or no. She was wearing one of her older gowns today, despite the fact Carter had bought her several new ones. This one was a faded dark blue and slightly too big. The cuffs were a bit frayed and a section of the hem was coming undone.
She looked like a goddess.
“Come in, Audsley. Or are you just going to keep staring at where I spilled a bit of marmalade on my gown?” The smirk was still there, as if not realizing just how close it was coming to being kissed.
He entered the worn sitting room and took a seat on the settee which surely must be close to collapsing after all these years since it had not been in great shape to begin with. He knew it had been well used for years by the occupants of Jasmine Cottage and he could just picture them huddled together on a winter’s night as they talked about books, gossip from the village and whatever else young ladies discussed. He vaguely wondered if Emma had ever talked about him.
Emma cleared her throat and Audsley’s gaze once again fell to her lips. “There is a matter which has bothered me for some time now,” she said.
Audsley’s breath stilled. Was she finally going to discuss their interlude in the maze? He would apologize, of course, even though he could not regret it. He rued his actions afterward, but did not regret a single moment of coming together with her.
She continued. “It is about the rent.”
Audsley was so relieved he almost laughed. “Do you feel it is too high?”
“Not at all! It has always been within our means, even when I didn’t have Carter’s assistance. That is the crux of the problem. I’m quite certain you could have made much more money on Jasmine Cottage these many years. I feel guilty about that and would like to make amends.”
“There is nothing to make amends for.” Other than he hated it whenever Emma said she was indebted to Carter. He didn’t want another man providing for her, even if he was married to her sister. “And your parents did give me a sum of money.”
Emma raised a brow. “Enough to last seven years when they were only going to be gone for one?”
Audsley shrugged. “I got more rent from you than I would have received from my other prospective tenants.”
“I hardly think that is possible. Who were your other prospective tenants?”
“Goats.”
“Excuse me?”
“Goats. I’m certain you’ve heard of them. Four legs? Excellent for cropping long grass?”
“Audsley!” said Emma, laughing. “Do be serious.”
He smiled at her. He loved seeing her laugh. He loved even more that he had been the one to amuse her. “I am only exaggerating just a bit. The cottage was in such disarray I hadn’t thought it was suitable for habitation. But the goats would not have complained overly much.”
“Apparently you’ve never been butted by one.”
“I hope none of my goats was ever so ill-bred as to butt you.” Audsley realized he was flirting with Emma, something they’d rarely done. It felt good.
“Of course, it wasn’t an Audsley goat. I am quite certain they spend their time in contemplation of maths and geography as they crop your fields in orderly rows. Did you really not have any other tenants in mind?”
“I did not. So, while you believe you didn’t pay me enough, I will counter that I wouldn’t have had any income at all had you not been here.”
“Perhaps you should return some of the money, then,” she said, her eyes laughing at him.
“Minx! I must compliment you on making a home here. It is extremely comfortable and inviting.” He had no doubt she would make any place a home just by being there.
“Thank you, though I know it is not the level you are used to by any means.”
“It is perfect. Just as it is.” They locked eyes and Audsley forgot to breathe.
Emma looked away and Audsley wondered if she’d felt their connection. “Grace keeps threatening to send over furniture from their new home.”
“Must you always protest when people try to do nice things for you?”
“I like my independence,” she said, smoothing the skirt of her faded gown.
“But is it not possible to be too independent? Is there no room for someone else in your life? For a husband, perhaps?” He leaned toward her, only to be interrupted by barking.
Emma looked at the dogs, breaking the spell. “I believe they are reminding me it’s time to walk to Grace’s.” She paused for a moment. “Would you care to join me?”
“I can think of no better way to spend the day.”
* * *
“Emma!” said Grace as she rushed through the foyer of her new home to hug her sister.
“Audsley,” said Carter, as he came forward to shake his friend’s hand. “I’m glad you could join us.” He kissed Emma’s cheek once his wife had finally relinquished her.
A few moments later they were all gathered in the sitting room and Patsy was already asleep in a patch of sunlight while Victoria sniffed her way around the room.
Emma smiled as she looked at her sister, so happy with her husband in their home. They also had a house in London, but this home was a new addition to Carter’s estates specifically chosen so Emma and Grace could spend time together. Grace was slowly making the home her own, but Emma knew her sister cared little for material possessions. She was just happy to be in love and be loved in return.
“You’ve hung one of Daphne’s paintings!” said Emma, referring to their friend who’d lived at Jasmine Cottage and was now married to Carter’s brother, Jeremy.
“It’s my favorite part of this whole house,” said Grace.
“I thought I was your favorite part of this whole house,” said Carter, as he kissed his wife.
“Oh, dear, I suppose I must start choosing my words with more care,” said Grace, as she kissed him back.
“That would be a shame,” said her husband. “After all, your tart words were why we met.”
Carter wrote the occasional story for the broadsheets and Grace had first come to his attention through a series of critical letters she’d written to him. And now they were both writing novels.
“How many more times are you going to kiss your wife” asked Audsley a bit crossly.
Emma looked at him with curiosity. She thought he’d been in favor of the match, but now he looked like it bothered him that they were kissing.
“It is a number as yet unknown to man,” said Carter, who kissed Grace again. “After all, I must give Grace something to write about.”
“Has Grace begun to write comedy?” asked Audsley.
Emma laughed, then turned to her sister. “Audsley has made a number of jests today. You may want to make a note of that.”
“And to what do we owe his good mood?” asked Carter, before glancing at Emma. “Or can I guess?”
“How is your latest novel progressing?” Emma quickly asked Grace.
Grace and Carter shared a look of such intensity that it had Emma blushing.
“Being an author of romantical fiction can be a diverting experience when you’re married,” said Grace, leaving very little unsaid about what those diversions were.
Audsley cleared his throat. “Perhaps we should come back at a different time.”
“Of course not,” said Grace, though her husband looked like he wouldn’t mind being alone with his wife. “Now, what has been going on since we last saw each other?”
Very little had gone on since they’d seen each other the previous day, but Emma was happy to talk about anything with her sister. And the men seemed just as happy to allow it.
It was just before supper when Audsley and Emma left, having declined to stay for the meal. Emma didn’t wish to overstay her welcome and from the looks her sister and brother-in-law had been exchanging, she had a feeling they were anxious to be alone.
“You don’t have to walk me home, Audsley,” she said, knowing it would fall on deaf ears.
“I cannot imagine being here and not walking you home.”
For some reason, that made Emma think back to the day her whole life had been upended when he’d insisted on walking her home after their interlude in the maze, even though he must have known she wished him to the devil. Now, here he was, carrying Patsy, who’d been too tired for the journey home.
They said little until they reached her door. “Thank you for the escort,” she said.
“You are quite welcome.”
Neither moved. “Would you like to come in for some supper?” She wasn’t certain why she’d invited him, other than it had been such a lovely afternoon that she didn’t want it to end.
“Your cook is here?”
“She was scheduled to come by this afternoon to leave a meal.”
“You should have a full-time cook. I will provide it.”
“You’ve already done enough, Audsley, though you did not answer my question. Would you like to have supper with me?” She was almost certain he’d say no. If he did say yes, she wondered if he would even eat the simple fare which was likely awaiting her. But she very much wished to share her meal with him.
“Yes, thank you. I would like that very much.”
His response warmed her, probably more than it should. He waited until she walked into the house first, then followed her in to the kitchen, where a shepherd’s pie was waiting.
“Where do you usually eat?” he asked, looking dubiously at the rough wooden table in the kitchen.
“When all of us lived here, we often ate in the sitting room. You and I could eat at the table, though now that it is summer I occasionally eat in the back garden.”
“You take the table outside?”
“No. I usually put down a blanket, then eat like a picnic.” She wasn’t sure what he would say to that since she couldn’t picture him ever doing such a thing. She hoped he wouldn’t disparage her tradition since she enjoyed it so much.
“That sounds like an evening well spent. How may I help you?”
Emma was so surprised by his reaction she couldn’t think for a moment. “I have the blanket on the cot.” She indicated the small room off the kitchen as she gathered the plates and cutlery.
“Is there a particular place I should put the blanket?” asked Audsley as he opened the back door.
“You can choose our spot. But I warn you that the pups know exactly what the blanket means. I’m afraid you’ll soon be overrun by two girls who wish to be fed.”
“I thought I’d be overrun by three girls.”
“Three?”
“Yes, the two pups and you.”
Emma felt butterflies take flight in her stomach. She would very much like to overrun him and sometimes had the feeling he wished for it, too. But neither of them could ever seem to broach the subject.
To keep her mind off Audsley, Emma put a small bit of pie onto the dogs’ plates.
“I was hoping you might be a bit more generous in your portions,” said Audsley’s deep voice from close behind her.
“This is for the dogs, though I warn you they won’t be satisfied with only that.”
“Have you trained them?”
“If anything, they have trained me. They are usually well-behaved, except when it comes to meal time.”
“Perhaps I could train them for you,” he said, as he took the plates, with the dogs happily dancing around his legs. He carried them outside and placed them on the far corner of the blanket. Before the dogs could tuck in, he put out his hand and said in a commanding voice, “Sit.”
Miraculously, both dogs immediately sat. They whimpered a bit, as they looked at the food. Then, with a wave of his hand, Audsley allowed them to eat. They did so ravenously.
“Are you certain you feed these dogs?” he asked, as he took his and Emma’s plates until she was seated. He followed her down and handed her a plate.
Their fingers touched and Emma shivered. She wondered if he’d noticed.
As she dared look at him it appeared he had, if his dark eyes were any indication. But now the two pups had left their own empty plates to gaze longingly at the full ones.
“They are quite incorrigible,” said Emma, as she took a bite of her pie.
Audsley took a bite of his. “This is quite good.”
“Mrs. Webster is an excellent cook and has most reasonable rates. I think her youngest daughter is interested in going into service if you are looking to hire someone in your kitchen.”
“I shall pass that on to Stevens. If her skills are anything like her mother’s, she’d be a valuable addition to the staff.”
They continued eating like that, sitting close to each other on the blanket, enjoying their food and sharing with the dogs occasionally. Emma felt no need to make unnecessary conversation and there was an ease to their meal which surprised her. It had been like this with the ladies of Jasmine Cottage, eating in companionable silence. Except she hadn’t wanted to kiss any of the ladies. Not to mention doing so much more.
Emma was further surprised when Audsley helped her clean up after their meal. He must have sensed her surprise, for he arched a brow as he took a dish from her to dry, though she had the last laugh when he had no idea what to do with it when he was done.
She took it from him and put it away, then regretted being quite so efficient with the washing up since there was no more reason for him to stay.
She walked him to the door and he lingered just long enough that she thought he might kiss her. Instead, he said, “May I call on you tomorrow at the same time to walk you to Carter and Grace’s house?”
“I would like that,” she said. She would also like him to kiss her.
Instead, he turned and departed. Then Emma counted the hours until she would see him again.