CHAPTER SEVEN
In the days which followed, Emma was surprised – and tried not to be disappointed – that Audsley honored her request to stay away. She hadn’t thought he would change his mind and marry her, but she thought he might stop by to express his opinion on how improper it was to live without a chaperone or that they were tending to the garden all wrong or something else which showed his complete and utter disdain for everything she did. It would have been completely dreadful, of course, but somehow it felt even worse that he could simply walk away so easily without a single look back.
On the fourth day – not that she was keeping track – she was still in her bedchamber, mulling over the latest development when there was a rap at the front door. She glanced out the window to see the Audsley carriage and her treacherous stomach did a flip-flop, though she did think it odd that he would take the carriage when the abbey was less than a mile away. Grace was out picking the last of the wildflowers, which was just as well because Emma thought there should be some privacy when she and Audsley had their discussion. But she couldn’t have been more surprised when she opened the door to find it wasn’t Audsley, but his mother, instead. She was so surprised she didn’t have a chance to school her features to a polite mask.
She didn’t feel too bad when she realized Lady Audsley’s expression was one of contempt.
“My lady,” said Emma with a curtsey. She was about to invite her in, when Lady Audsley swept past her, only to stop suddenly in the sitting room.
“I should have known you’d live in a hovel such as this.”
Emma wanted to say that if it was a hovel, it was one which Audsley was renting to them. “We feel it is a cozy home.” Truthfully, she still thought it was a bit ramshackle, but she wouldn’t allow this woman to insult her home.
Lady Audsley looked like she smelled something disagreeable, which wasn’t possible since Patsy was out with Grace. But from what Emma remembered of Audsley’s mother, she might always look like that. “I will come right to the point, since you don’t have the decency to invite me to sit down.” She paused for a moment, as if Emma would now beg her forgiveness and implore her to take a seat.
Which Emma pointedly did not do. “Pray continue.”
“I’ve known about your designs on my son for quite some time. You and your entire family have ideas quite above your station, but I tell you right now that all your schemes for the future have ground to a halt. You will not marry my son, even if you are with child.”
It took all of Emma’s strength to will her knees to support her. She couldn’t believe Audsley had told his mother, of all people, about what had transpired. But she would not be cowed before this woman. Not now. Not ever.
Lady Audsley continued. “He told me how you had enticed him and tried to ensnare him by becoming with child. But I tell you it will not work. Goodness knows how many men you were with both before and after my son. He’d be a fool to marry you because he would have no idea if the child was even his. And do not think for a moment that you would be accepted in the ton. It would be a terrible mésalliance, even if your grandfather is an earl. Your parents…”
“Do not speak of my parents.” Emma could feel the rage boiling up within her.
“I’ll speak of anything I like.”
“No, you will not! This is my home and I’ll not permit anyone to speak ill of my family. For your information, there is no child.” It was true. Emma had just learned of it earlier in the day. But her great relief had not prevented her from crying over the loss.
Audsley’s mother straightened and looked her surprise. “So, you are admitting that.”
“Yes. There is no child. There will be no claim on your son. I have no desire to trap him into marriage.”
“So you say.”
Emma clenched her fists in frustration. “I say that because it’s true. What makes you think I want to be part of a family where the matriarch makes such accusations? I am not with child. I have no plans to marry your son and I will go so far as to say he is the last man on earth I would ever consider marrying. How does that sound?”
The countess narrowed her eyes. “I will not let you go back on this.”
“Good! Because I have no plans to go back on anything. I am not with child, I will not marry your son. Now, leave my home!”
The countess’s jaw dropped, though she still managed to look elegant. “I’ve never been so insulted in my entire life.”
“Then it was long overdue.” Emma moved past her to open the door. “Go now. I have matters to attend to.”
Lady Audsley now looked ridiculously reluctant to leave the hovel. But she finally raised herself to her full height and strode out of the house, barely escaping before having the door slam her aristocratic buttocks.
Once again, Emma felt like crying. If her hopes hadn’t been dashed that morning, they were well and truly over now. He’d told his mother. After he promised he wouldn’t tell anyone. He’d betrayed her and she could never trust him again.
Emma scribbled out a note, then sealed it well. As soon as Grace returned, she told her sister of their plan. After another cup of tea – this one spiked with their scant supply of medicinal brandy – they began packing.
* * *
Audsley awakened after yet another night when he’d slept only fitfully. In the past five days since their incredible interlude, Emma had invaded his soul. He thought about her constantly and his nights were filled with memories of their incredible passion, the strongest he’d ever experienced.
He’d been secluded ever since their encounter, had taken all his meals in his bedchamber. He’d gone for punishing rides across the country during the day and tried to throw himself into estate business and matters of Parliament in the evenings. Anything to take his mind off Emma.
And none of it had worked.
He hadn’t said more than two dozen words to his mother since the conversation they’d had when he’d returned that day. If he and Emma married – and, really, he was beginning to think it was the only logical course even if she wasn’t with child – he would face his mother’s wrath. He would also do what he could to shield Emma, though he knew that would be easier said than done. He would, under no circumstances, allow his mother to be cruel to his child.
He took extra time dressing that morning since he’d decided on a course of action and was ready to implement it. He would go to the cottage and tell Emma they were to be married. It really was the only thing which made sense. He knew she’d resist the notion at first, but he was confident he could convince her it was the right thing to do.
He’d assumed Emma had shut herself away in the cottage to avoid seeing him, so it was all the more surprising when Stevens handed him a note which had been delivered by Emma herself. Stevens quietly informed him that the young lady had been insistent that no one else see the note other than the earl himself, then he assured Audsley that he’d done as she’d asked. True to his training, the butler did not allude in even the slightest way to how improper it was for a young lady to communicate with a gentleman.
But Audsley wasn’t thinking about propriety. He was thinking about his future. He nodded his thanks, then took refuge in his library, closing the door behind him. He held the envelope for a moment, unable to open it. He knew it was fanciful, but he felt like he held his child’s fate in his hands. For surely there could be no other reason for Emma to write to him.
Finally, he opened the envelope, which was so securely sealed it must have used her entire supply of wax. Taking a deep breath, he read the brief missive:
Audsley,
On my honor, there were no consequences. You are a free man. Grace and I are leaving for London. I trust we will not see each other when we return.
Emma Moore
It took a moment for everything to sink in. But when it did, a pain ripped into his heart so savagely it was a wonder he didn’t cry out. There was no child – at least he hoped she had been honest about that – and she had left him. She didn’t even want to continue a friendship with him. He had so few true friends he felt the loss like a wound. He hadn’t been able to keep her out of his thoughts for even a moment and now she was gone, with no desire to see him upon her return.
He was surprised and angry, and his pride had been assailed.
He would obey her wishes with pleasure. It would be a cold day in hell before he would seek her out again.
He simply tried not to think about the tears which had escaped his eyes.