Chapter 6
Killian
“Remind me again why Pops couldn’t come to the grocery store with you,” I said to my mother.
It was Sunday, which meant we were having Sunday dinner. It wasn’t unlike my mother to wait until the last minute to come to the butcher’s section to grab whatever meat she planned to cook for the day. She claimed she liked to get it fresh so it would be at its best.
“You want to eat, don’t you?” she sassed me.
“I’m just asking, woman.”
“Mmm-hmm. Well don’t ask. If you must know, your father went by the nursing home to see your grandparents.”
“And Bridget?”
My mother stopped walking and placed her hand on her hip. “You got something better to do, son?”
“Nah, I don’t.”
“Good.” She dug into her purse and shoved a piece of paper into my hand. “Go get the things on this list and meet me at the butcher’s.”
I sighed. “Yes, ma’am.”
She patted my face before walking off. Looking down, I saw that the list was a mile long.
Shaking my head, I grabbed a cart and started walking up and down the aisles, collecting the items on the list. I turned down the baking aisle and stopped in my tracks.
There stood Alayah with her aunt. They spoke softly for a moment, before her aunt walked off and went down another aisle.
Alayah busied herself with examining something on the shelf.
She looked so beautiful with a fresh face.
She wore a simple pink maxi dress that hugged her curves and a pair of sandals.
Her mass of curls was wild and free. I stood still, contemplating if I should say anything.
She hadn’t seen me, so it would be easy to back off the aisle and come back later.
Apparently, that thought didn’t register to my feet as they started moving in her direction.
They had a mind of their own as I moved around the cart to stand next to her.
“Alayah…” I said softly.
She turned to face me, a stoic expression on her face. “Killian.”
“It’s good to see you. I’m glad you’re home.”
“Yeah… Me, too.”
She turned back to the items she was previously looking at. That should have been my cue to walk away, but I stood there awkwardly, still talking.
“Um…how has it been?” I asked.
“It’s not prison.”
“Right. Well, are you adjusting? Do you need anything?”
She sighed as she turned to me. “What are you doing?”
“I just—”
“I don’t like small talk. I also don’t like when people feel like they are obligated to speak to me just because they see me. It’s awkward enough having people stare because they know my face.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to make it awkward. I just wanted to check up on you.” I paused for a moment, carefully choosing my next words. “I’ve thought about you over the years. I wish I could have come to see you.”
“Be glad you didn’t. Prison is depressing, and visitation only reminds you that you’re not going anywhere.”
“I can only imagine. You look good.”
“Yeah, well, thank God I don’t look like what I’ve been through. Listen, Killian, I have to go.”
She started to walk away, but I stepped in front of her.
“Maybe we could catch up sometime.”
“Why? You wanna hear about my last ten years behind bars? You didn’t hear enough in the courtroom? That’s why you came, right? To spectate?”
“What? No. Erica and I work at the same firm. I didn’t even know she was your lawyer until she asked me to look over the case to help her. I had to recuse myself because I know you—”
“Correction: You knew me. You don’t anymore. I’m not the same girl you knew in high school. I never want to be that version of myself again. Have a good day.”
She turned to walk away, and this time, I let her.
I wasn’t trying to piss her off, but maybe approaching her wasn’t the best idea.
We were friends once upon a time, so I thought maybe she could use a friend on the outside.
Ten years was a long time to be locked down and not forge a friendship of some sort with the women she was housed with.
But she wasn’t there anymore. She didn’t have to be a loner out here, but I could understand that her trust was all fucked up.
I sighed heavily as I grabbed my cart and continued my shopping. Fifteen minutes later, I met my mother at the butcher’s. She glanced over at me, and her brows furrowed.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
“Don’t lie.”
“Ma—”
“Killian Lake.”
I sighed. “I saw Alayah just now.”
She looked around me. “Where is she?”
“Somewhere around here.”
“I’d love to see her.”
“She doesn’t want to be bothered, Ma. She was cold as ice just now.”
She gave me a sympathetic look. “Awww, baby. Don’t take it personal. She was locked away for a long time, and she has a lot of trauma. She’s adjusting. You never know what she’s dealing with in being home again. I can’t imagine it’s been easy for her.”
I nodded. “You’re right. We were friends. I just—”
“You missed your friend. I get it, baby. I know how guilty you felt when she was arrested. You internalized all of that. I know you feel like you could have done something to help her, but the reality is, you couldn’t have done a thing.
You had no proof, and she didn’t accuse him until after he was dead.
I know that’s hard to accept, but you couldn’t save her.
Again, I don’t want that on your conscious, you understand me? ”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She offered me a light smile as she cupped my face and kissed my forehead.
“You’re a good person, Killian. Don’t let anybody or any circumstance make you feel less than that.”
She turned away from me and refocused her attention on the butcher preparing her meat package. I knew she was right, but that didn’t stop my mind from wandering. I thought back to the day I found out Alayah had been arrested.
It was a normal Friday morning. I walked into school like I did five days a week.
The moment I stepped in the building, I got weird looks from way too many people.
There were several groups huddled together talking quietly among themselves.
As I passed each of them, their eyes darted to me, causing my brows to furrow.
“What the hell is going on around here?” I mumbled to myself.
I kept making strides to my locker, my eyes scanning the hallways for Alayah.
Her locker was right across the hall from mine.
She was never late to school, so I expected to see her there, but she wasn’t.
Maybe she was eating breakfast. I didn’t think much of it as I opened my locker to grab my first-period books.
My friend Kadeem came up to me with the same weird look on his face.
“Yo, why is everybody looking like that?” I asked, closing my locker.
“You ain’t heard about your girl?”
“My girl? My girl who?”
“Alayah.”
“What about her?”
“She got arrested, man. She killed her mama’s boyfriend.”
“Get the fuck outta here, Kadeem. Alayah? She wouldn’t hurt anybody.”
“Swear to God. She stabbed that nigga up last night.”
He pulled out his phone and pulled up a social media post. Staring back at me was a picture of Alayah being led out of her house covered in bloody clothes.
Police cars and ambulances were on the scene, and neighbors were gathered around.
My eyes widened as I read that she’d stabbed Rodney West a total of twenty-six times, and his face was beyond recognition.
“This can’t be right,” I said, shaking my head as I handed the phone back to him. “Alayah wouldn’t do that unprovoked.”
“Shit, I don’t know the story, but she definitely did that shit. You see all that blood? It looks like a massacre.”
I opened my locker again and grabbed my backpack before starting back toward the main entrance.
“Where you going!” Kadeem called after me.
I ignored him. I had to see Alayah. Something had to have happened. She wouldn’t just snap like that.
I drove all the way to the police station that day.
I wasn’t sure why I thought they would let me see her.
I saw her mother, sisters, and who I now knew were her aunt and uncle waiting and crying.
My first mind told me to go over there, but I stopped my feet from moving.
What the hell was I supposed to say? Defeated, I left the police station and went back home.
My parents hadn’t left for work yet, and when I walked in, they both looked at me with knowing gazes.
The television was turned to the news station, and the story was playing.
I didn’t go to school that day. Instead, I sat in my room watching the story on every local outlet that played it.
I scrolled my social media, reading every theory my classmates had about what really happened.
Some of them thought Alayah was sleeping with Rodney.
Some said he must have done something to her because she was too quiet to ever do something like that.
There were so many speculations with no real truth behind them.
Kadeem texted me later to tell me there was an entire assembly, and the principal urged anyone who was having problems to speak with the guidance counselor if they needed help.
They never said Alayah’s name, but they didn’t have to.
Everybody knew who and what he was referring to.
For weeks on end after the details came out, several people asked me if I knew anything or if she was telling the truth.
I said nothing, but every question brought back a memory.
It was her behavior or little things she said and did.
All the signs of abuse were there, yet somehow they were missed.
I felt like I failed her as a friend. As much as I spoke with her, as much as I’d been to that house, I should have known… I should have known.