Chapter 8
CHAPTER
Lucinda
The Past
Late July—Fifteen Years Ago
I WATCHED RHETT THROUGH the large picture window. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t feel the heat of my eyes as he paced through the trees.
He’s completely oblivious.
I had never felt such bitterness toward Rhett before.
Such anger.
But the feelings, now unleashed, couldn’t be tethered, and they flapped around inside me, threatening to decimate every semblance of happiness I had worked so hard for.
Rhett was clearly in his own world, wandering around the small apple orchard to the south of my parents’ house, his face covered with cuts and bruises, blind to how horrible he looked.
We told everyone he had fallen in some brambles while out on a run. My father saw through the lie right away.
I leaned closer to the glass and frowned as he braced himself against a tree, his head hung low, his eyes closed as if in pain. I knew I wasn’t imagining the tears that slid down his cheeks.
We had sworn not to talk about that night. It was easier for us both to ignore what happened than to face it. To face our actions.
Rhett wore his heartache like a flashing neon sign.
He didn’t try to hide it. His face was etched with the grief of a man who had fought, and then lost, something important.
Something that mattered to him. And when that something was another woman, it was hard for me to feel anything but agony that quickly turned to rage.
I wasn’t sure what devastated me more. That he was so cut up about her being dead, or that he was, yet again, willing to risk us—our lives—because of her. Because he was making us both look guilty as hell.
Why wasn’t I enough for him?
What did she have that I didn’t?
The questions had been eating me up since the day I saw them together eating those goddamn ice cream cones. I had never felt so inadequate in my life.
It was such a disappointment to realize the man you loved was no different from every other male on the planet. That he was capable of betrayal and subterfuge all in the name of a pretty face. Damn the consequences.
Or the destruction he left in his wake.
When I had chosen Rhett, I really thought he was better than that. That I would never have to worry about him straying.
It seemed he wasn’t the only idiot.
“What’s he doing?”
I didn’t bother to turn around. I wasn’t in the mood for Bailey’s nosy intrusion.
“What does it look like?” I snapped. “Haven’t you ever seen someone getting some fresh air before?”
I glanced at my little sister, who had pressed her hand to the windowpane as she watched Rhett.
“He looks upset.” She cocked her head as if examining him. “What happened to his face?”
“He’s fine,” I replied dismissively.
“He doesn’t look fine.” She paused, her expression unsure. “Did he get in a fight?”
“No, of course not! It’s Rhett, for God’s sake.” I snorted as if the idea were absurd. “Unless you count falling into a blackberry bush.”
“He seems really sad, Lucy.”
I didn’t know how much Bailey was aware of Jennifer Moore and the chaos she had wrought in our lives. I hoped she was too young to listen to gossip and speculation. But she was a teenager, and teenagers talked as much as old women.
“He’s fine,” I repeated, firmer this time. “He’s just stressed, with college and the wedding, and …” My voice trailed off and I didn’t bother finishing the lie. There were so many lies.
Bailey’s expression was still troubled, and I realized I wasn’t fooling her. She had been there that night. She’d heard the fight. I didn’t feel like playing a round of “pretend everything is hunky-dory.”
“Can we drop it?” I asked tiredly. “Rhett’s fine. I’m fine. We’re all fine.”
Bailey placed her hand reassuringly on my arm and I stared down at it, confused by her sudden gentleness.
We were sisters, but we weren’t close. Though I sensed she would have liked us to be.
Even though our age gap wasn’t that large, we had never gotten along.
But she was my little sister, and I was supposed to be a role model.
Someone for her to look up to. Unfortunately, that only made her another burden.
Another responsibility that my parents held me accountable for.
But was that really her fault?
I felt myself soften.
“I think you should go talk to him. Or maybe I can. Remember what Dad always says, we protect family, no matter what—” Bailey began, and just like that, she was back to being my annoyingly meddlesome little sister.
“Rhett doesn’t need protection. He’ll be fine,” I stated once more for emphasis that was more for my benefit than Bailey’s. She looked as if she didn’t know what to say. That made two of us.
“Lucinda, where’s Rhett?” My father’s booming voice startled Bailey and me.
Dad strode into the room, his thinning hair plastered to his forehead, his expression stern and foreboding.
Physically, he didn’t look much like a man who commanded respect. He was relatively short, coming in at only five foot four, with a thin, wiry frame. At a glance he resembled someone who was bullied by the quarterback.
But everyone knew my father’s strength was in his head, not his body.
He had worked his way up from nothing—having come from humble beginnings—and put himself first through college, then law school.
He was quick on his feet, and according to people in town, could make you believe the sun was blue and the grass was yellow if he had a mind to.
He could smile and put you at ease all the while planning the ways he would ruin you.
His friends were many. His influence, far reaching. His was a power born from hard work, and he expected the most from those around him.
Particularly his children.
He looked momentarily taken aback by Bailey’s presence. His gaze shifted quickly between the two of us.
“Bailey, what are you doing here?”
“I was talking to—”
“You need to get to your tutoring session.” He cut her off abruptly.
“Mr. Orndorff is waiting for you in the dining room.” Dad gave my sister a stern look.
“And for God’s sake, try and get through the hour without arguing with him, please.
Your mother is in bed with a headache, so do as you’re told, for once.
” He sounded uncharacteristically tired.
His words were more of a plea than an order.
Guilt bloomed in my chest. This mess was taking its toll on all of us.
I expected Bailey to argue, as she was prone to when asked to do anything. She was a typical teenager and no one was exempt from her attitude or her temper, even our intimidating father. So I was surprised when she hurried off without a word.
As soon as the door shut behind her, Dad rounded on me, his eyes flashing. “We need to have a talk, Lucinda.”
“Okay, Dad, what is it?” My stomach lurched. There were so many secrets floating around. Which ones had he discovered?
“I need you to tell me the truth, because after everything, I’m not sure that man of yours is the kind of person I want to put my neck on the line for.” He stared at me for several long moments, and I knew then that I could fool many people, but I would never be able to fool him.
In the week since Jenn’s body had been found, the rumblings around town had grown louder. So far I had furiously ignored them as best I could, immersing myself in wedding preparations for a ceremony I insisted was still happening.
I felt everything inside me tense. “I know it looks bad—”
“It doesn’t look bad, Lucinda. It looks criminal.”
Dad took a cigar out of his pocket and rolled it between his fingers.
He’d never light it up in the house, Mom would kill him if he did.
“I know Rhett was involved with that woman. We’ve had this discussion before, Lucinda.
Don’t pretend like we didn’t. I thought you had more pride than this.
” His bluntness took the wind out of me.
“What woman?” I said, the two words barely squeezing out of my too-tight throat.
I wasn’t sure why I bothered acting oblivious.
I remembered the conversation well. Dad knew all about Jenn and Rhett.
My shame wasn’t news to him. Yet here I was trying to save what little face I had left.
“I don’t know who you’re talking about.”
Dad looked like he might self-combust at any moment.
“You know damn well, what woman,” he hissed, “Jennifer Moore!” He glared at me.
“I need you to quite playing dumb—this is serious.” I stared at him in a horror I couldn’t hide.
“I told you I had heard from Tanya Young that Rhett was seen around town with her. He wasn’t hiding it,” he seethed, making me shrink before him.
He wasn’t even trying to protect my feelings.
“And I told you I’d fix it.” I gave up pretending I didn’t know what this was about. I tried to sound steady and confident but my voice was far too small. My cheeks flushed in mortification.
“This has gone beyond him bowling with some slut. Everyone in Fern River is saying he was carrying on with her right under your nose. Under all our noses.” My father didn’t shout. He didn’t need to. His words were bullets and they hit their mark.
He had been so sure marrying Rhett was a mistake. Yes, he had publicly shown his support, but behind closed doors he hadn’t minced words.
“That boy wasn’t raised with the same values as you were. Promises and vows mean nothing to someone with no ethics. I’ve seen men like him in my courtroom hundreds of times. He only cares about himself. Mark my words.”
But because, for once, I wanted to choose something for myself, I had stuck by him. I had gone all in, believing that Rhett loved me and would look after my heart.
Clifford Herbaugh had been right.
And now I was scared this would be a reason for my parents to exert even more control over my life. I could practically feel the walls closing in around me.
“Judge Taylor’s boy is coming by to take you out this Friday at seven sharp,” my mother announced from my doorway.