16. Jameson
SIXTEEN
I wanted her.
Fucking hell.
Whatever you think is best.
What I thought was best was her opening those creamy thighs and letting me slip in between them. What I thought was best was her kissing me again and telling me she’d be mine for real, but there was too much fire in our past. If we looked back on it, all we’d see was ash and devastation. No way to build a new foundation from it.
I kept all my spinning thoughts to myself as Penelope laid out before me. She’d trusted me with this…I had offered to help her, and she trusted me. I wouldn’t take advantage of that.
“We need to take your shorts off…” I swallowed thickly, unsure how I would even be able to concentrate when she looked the way she did. With tiny strands of midnight silk kissing her neck, the rest piled on top of her head in a way that made her sexy. Her lips were pink, wet and puffy as if she’d been biting them. Her tits were barely concealed by her low hanging tank now that the straps weren’t holding it up.
Fuck me.
Her hands gently bunched at the waist of the shorts, so I moved to help her. Together, we pulled them down and tossed them to the floor. She was in white lace, and the way it rested under her pregnant belly was somehow so fucking hot that I nearly came in my sweats.
“These too,” I rasped, pulling up on the lace at her hip. I was seated next to her and trying to act completely unbothered by the notion that within seconds I would be touching her pussy. Something I had only dreamed about since I was fifteen years old.
She went to drag them down, but I moved, pulling them the rest of the way down her legs. With the side lamp lit up on the opposite side of the bed, it left enough light to see her. A flash of bare skin greeted me as she lifted the small triangle of skin under her belly, and her pussy was recently shaved. I could tell because she’d missed a few places and it made me want to smile. She was mostly bare, save for a small strip of hair, and a few places she just couldn’t reach.
She was perfect. Completely and utterly perfect.
Using my index finger, I slowly stroked up the line of her slit and then back down.
I could hear her intake a sharp breath, and it only encouraged me.
“I’m not going to use any toy on you, Penelope. I’m not using anything but my fingers to make you come. Do you understand?”
“Yes.” It was a rasp, a desperate, filthy plea.
“Lower your arm, push that fabric down and show me those nipples.” My fingers brushed over her slit, slow and soft. She pushed the burnt orange fabric down, releasing her heavy breasts and I had to withhold a groan of my own. Rosy nipples and dark areolas pebbled against the cool air. The heat didn’t get back here until around midnight, but up until then, the room was chilled.
I watched as her hands came up and cupped her breasts, while lowering her gaze so she was watching me. I was already observing her, but with her eyes on me, I skimmed my thumb over her clit, just a small brush.
Her gasp had me biting back a smile. “Did you want a little more pressure, Pen?”
She lifted her hips the smallest bit as a way of answering. I clicked my tongue and continued stroking her ever so lightly.
“Answer me. Do you want me to push inside your tight pussy and fuck you with my hand?”
Her pink mouth parted as her blue eyes seemed to catch fire. I would brand this image of her in my head forever. I’d imagine she was mine, and I’d—fuck she practically was mine—I just had to marry her. Even then, if she had reservations, I could pull her over the line she always drew between us. I had held back for so many years, even when I knew she wanted me…I still refused her.
I’d done the noble thing. Now, it was my turn.
“Please, Jameson,” she whispered, and then begged, “please.”
I pushed two fingers inside her while my thumb stayed pressed against her clit, rubbing caressing circles.
“Jamie,” she whispered, lifting her hips and trying to chase the pressure of my fingers in her cunt.
I held her knee down as I slid in another finger and pushed deeper.
“Oh my god.” Her breathing was more like a hissing wail, as she tried to boost her hips again, but I held her knee down. My fingers worked her, sliding out and then back in, creating a wet echo in the room.
“You’re already drenched, Pen. So fucking ready to be fucked. I bet all I had to do was breathe on your clit and you’d come for me. Would you like that? For me to blow on your aching pussy?”
Her hips bucked once more, but I held firm.
“Jamie, please.”
“Let me fuck you with my fingers, Pen. You want to fuck my hand, then you need to come at least once for me then you can move, shift, and fuck as deep as you want. You can use me however you want, baby. Fuck, I’ll even let you climb onto my lap and use my cock if you want, but you’ll let me do this first. Just relax.”
I tilted my wrist, so I had a better angle to slip in three fingers. Her cunt was soaked, and I fucking loved it. I stared at the way her tan pussy lips spread wide for me, and that pink clit begged for me to tease it. My fingers slid in and out of her with ease, creating a sound of slick pleasure that filled the room. She was drenching the sheet underneath her, but I didn’t care. It was all I could do not to picture the way it would feel if she was this wet, sliding down on my aching cock.
With a hiss, I increased my movements, my fingers curling inside her while I used my other hand to massage her sensitive core.
“I’m going to lower myself to the bed and play with your clit, Penny. I want you to hold very still, do you understand me?”
Her breathing was labored as she made some sort of agonized groan.
“Jamie, I can’t. I’m so?—”
I gripped her ankles and spread them farther apart. I lowered my chest to the bed, until my face was level with her glistening center.
“You can and you will, Pen. Just let me play and I’ll give you the best orgasm of your life. Just keep breathing, okay?”
I lifted my head, catching her gaze, while my hands moved up to grip the backs of her thighs. “Tell me you’ll hold on like a good girl and let me play with your clit.”
“Stop talking and I might be able to. Jesus, Jameson.”
Smirking, I returned to lying flat on the bed, pushing her thighs back and then I started lightly blowing against her center while I released her leg and sunk my fingers back into her cunt.
I inched closer, releasing air and then ever so carefully licked her sensitive bud. I didn’t suck it or pull it into my mouth. I fucked her with my fingers and lapped at only her clit. I knew Pen was close, so I curled my fingers inside her and then flicked my tongue across her, once, twice and?—
“Jammiiieee.” Penelope erupted, squeezing my head with her thighs as she rode out her orgasm.
I moved my fingers faster, wringing every single ounce of pleasure from her. She was breathing hard, her thighs released my head, but practically fell in on one another as she seemed to lose the ability to keep them up.
I stared at her slit, watching as the white cum coated her puffy pussy lips then I leaned forward and licked up every single drop, groaning in pleasure as I finally tasted her.
So fucking good.
Penny rocked into my mouth, hissing above me, and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt we would a thousand percent be doing this again.
“Jamie...” Pen worked to catch her breath. “That was…the best thing…” She was still catching her breath when I lifted up and sat back on my palm. Then I used my soaked fingers from fucking her pussy to reach into my sweats to grip my cock. The mere knowledge that it was her on my fingers now wrapped around my granite length was enough to nearly make me come right there on the spot.
“I’m gonna go take care of this.” I slowly slid my hand up my shaft, and then gripped the base. Penelope was sitting up, pushing the straps of her shirt up while sliding off the edge of the bed.
“Let me…please, Jamie,” she was getting to the floor, and her hands were on my knees, slowly pushing them apart.
I shook my head. “That’s not what this was about…I’m taking care of you.”
Her pink tongue darted out, wetting her lips as her eyes trailed the tip of my cock and down the length of my shaft. She’d never seen it before…I hated that I wanted her to see it. Hated that I lowered my hand and tilted my hips in a way that would give her a better view.
“I want to,” she whispered, her fingers scrunching the fabric of my sweats. “Please, Jamie…we can take care of each other.”
She leaned forward, her eyes up, watching me as she leaned in and slowly enclosed her hand around the base to ensure I was okay with it. Her face came closer, her eyes still on me as those pretty lips opened and her mouth wrapped around the tip of me.
I hissed with pleasure and let her take control. Her hand came up to hold the base of my cock, and her mouth slid farther down the column of my shaft until she was so far down, her mouth nearly touched the top of her knuckle where she gripped me. Her eyes watered the smallest bit as she tried to take more of me, and then she came back up and released me with a pop.
“Fuck,” I bit out, watching as saliva dripped from her bottom lip. She looked hungry, like this was the one thing she’d been craving. Her mouth returned to me, and instead of going all the way down, she stopped halfway and began sucking, bobbing her head with a rhythm. Her tits swayed and bounced as she dipped her head, and then came back up. It was the best blow job I’d ever had in my entire fucking life.
I set my palms behind me on the bed, so I didn’t grab her hair or pull her closer. I wanted to. Fuck, I wanted to stand and fuck her throat, but when I lost control, I really lost control, and I didn’t want to scare her, or fuck her. Regardless I said she could ride my cock; it would simply be that. She’d ride, but I wouldn’t fuck her back.
I couldn’t.
Not when all I wanted was for this to be real between us. But this…this sliver of space in-between would have to be enough. I’d settle for it if it meant I finally got to experience her.
My fingers twisted the bed spread into a tight knot as I watched her take me again and again, lifting enough to slowly lap at the tip. With her pink lips wrapped around it, and her big blue eyes on me, she looked like sin and stardust. All midnight hair and fucking porcelain perfection.
“I’m going to come, Pen.” My voice nearly cracked from how badly I wanted to touch her. She took that as an opportunity to take me deeper until she was choking on my length. Right as she pulled up, sucking as she went, I exploded.
“Shiiiiiiiittttt.” My hands came up, gripping the back of her head and holding her in place as I lifted my hips, fucking her throat the last few strokes as I filled her mouth with my release.
Her eyes were watering, and tiny pieces of cum slipped from the sides of her mouth, but I used my thumb to grab them and smear them along her lips.
I whispered with half-lidded eyes, “Show me you swallowed it all like a good girl, Pen.”
She opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue to show me that yes, she’d swallowed every drop. Then she used her tongue to swipe up the extra I’d smeared on her lips. With a smile and a moan, she had me nearly hard again.
I stroked her chin, pressing my thumb into her bottom lip. “So fucking beautiful.”
Her eyes moved over my face, as her hands remained on my thighs, and this was the moment I had to let go because if I pulled her up, forced her onto all fours, and then fucked her, it would ruin this. She’d run, we’d never get married, and I’d be chasing her to fuck knew where. I needed her safe. So I let her go and tilted my head back.
“Fuck, Pen. This was such a bad idea.”
My eyes came back down to where she was on the floor in time to see the playful, sensual gleam in her eyes fade. It was like she’d opened herself up and then I’d tossed a bomb inside her chest and now I was telling her it was her fault. She started to get up, and I held a hand to her.
“I didn’t mean?—”
She slipped past me. “I know what you meant. It’s fine.” She went into the bathroom and shut the door.
I fell back on the bed and threw my arm over my eyes.
All I’d ever wanted was her in my bed, on her knees…and I’d just fuc?—
“If you think for one second that you’re going to go back to sleeping on the floor, you’re mistaken.” Penelope stormed out of the bathroom in one of my t-shirts.
Motherfucking hell, she looked so fucking good in my t-shirt. My mouth fell slightly open as I watched her walk over, fluff her pillow and rip at the comforter, which prompted me to get up.
Her face was flushed, her hair had been brushed and was down, her nipples were visible through the white, sheer fabric.
“I am grateful that you helped me tonight, Jameson. All I wanted was to repay the favor. I didn’t ask for a sonnet, or a poem, or a declaration of love.” She aggressively fluffed the pillow again before sliding under the covers. “I just wanted to help you how you helped me, that was it.”
Standing frozen on the opposite side of the bed, I watched as her anger bubbled and snapped the air like a whip of lightning.
“You always act like I’m some starstruck idiot, always screwing up. I didn’t ask for you to fake propose or give me a fake cut, or parade me around and kiss me all the time. I didn’t ask for any of this. I was faithful to Luke. I waited, and you didn’t want me. You?—”
She stopped mid-sentence, staring at the ceiling, her lip trembling.
There were words I wanted to say, but I knew now wasn’t the time to say them. She needed to vent, and she needed me to sleep next to her, so she didn’t feel rejected.
So I clicked off the lamp, pulled the covers back, and slid into bed.
“We have cleaners for this very reason.” Killian glared at the dirt on his boots, and the muck all over his gloves.
The shovel stuck as I forced it into the ground. The fog hung dense as the midnight air cloaked our group. Killian, Wes, Giles, Brick--that’s all I currently trusted at the moment, which was a sad testament to my current life situation. I wanted to check my phone, itched to see if Pen was okay, but I trusted Harris, and knew she was safe staying in the club with Callie, Laura and Natty.
We’d barely spoken at all when we woke up, mostly because I was out the door almost immediately. I had a shit ton of planning and prep to attend to so we could make this happen. She hadn’t texted or said anything, but I knew she was pissed at me. Before I left, I pulled her in and hugged her. We stood like that for several minutes while I breathed her in. I’d told her I was sorry and that I was an idiot then I promised we’d talk later.
“Don’t trust your cleaning crew, Quinn,” I muttered, wishing again that we could have brought our phones. But when we loaded up in the truck, our phones all had to stay behind. Nothing traceable.
“You sure no one will ever know we did this?” Brick asked nervously as he eyed the grave we’d just exhumed.
Wes grunted while he rolled out the fresh sod.
“Well, there is a chance that one day they’ll want to dig up Loretta St. Clair but seeing as she was a God-fearing woman who paid her taxes and was loved by all her friends and family, I strongly doubt anyone will be digging up her grave to see if a two-hundred-pound Chaos King had been dumped on top of her casket. Same with Julius Garner. He was a recluse, no way anyone goes snooping in his grave any time soon.”
Brick winced, staring down at the grave. “You just cover it with grass, and no one ever knows.”
Bingo.
“We needed a way to bury Kline and Bones, this was the quickest way that didn’t involve dismemberment or acid.”
“Concrete is also very effective, but a graveyard is a safer bet since no one will just come in here and start digging shit up,” Killian added.
Giles laughed. “Well, technically we—” Wes slapped the back of his head, giving him a deadly glare. He was obviously about to share something he wasn’t supposed to, so I didn’t make a move to correct him for laying hands on my cousin.
“All done, let’s pack up,” Killian muttered quietly, glancing around.
We carried our shovels back to the truck and all climbed inside. We were out of the cemetery gates and down a side road when a single headlight began driving straight at us. Killian groaned but pulled off to a side road where the motorcycle followed.
I lifted a curious brow at Wes, who was riding in the seat behind his president.
“Let’s get this over with.”
Killian opened his door, and I followed him out. It was just Wes, Kil and me standing in a circle when Silas walked up to greet us.
“I have news,” Silas started, not wasting any time. “A few rumors are starting to circulate about Fable stepping into Chaos King business?—”
His eyes landed on me, but I obviously knew he was referencing the portion of members who’d defected and stayed with Luke.
“This means they’re focusing all their strength at the moment in building up that club and trying to rip it effectively from you, King.”
My fucking chest hurt. Luke’s betrayal was a dagger digging deeper every single day.
“Our best bet is to lure Luke out, he’s gotta be uncomfortable being the prop in this play. Jefferson and Fable will surely take all the members and make them loyal to whatever new brand of bullshit they’re cooking up.”
I shook my head. “If that’s true then what difference would it make if Luke defected and gave us intel?”
“Knowing where they plan to meet and might have their guard down would be all the difference in claiming your club back and killing the two of them.”
I didn’t miss the way Wes and Killian both cut glances my way before Killian asked, “We sparing Luke then?”
I knew he was asking as a whole to the group so we could come to an agreement. My gaze remained on the inky mass surrounding us, cloaking us in secrecy. Brick and Giles remained in the truck, and I wondered if Killian was sowing his own seeds of future rebellion by not including his second in this conversation.
Silas nodded his chin at me. “Your call…your ol lady…it’s complicated, right?”
On this, I might be an asshole…and maybe one day Penelope would hate me for it. Maybe her kid would come back for revenge and want to kill me, but with every ounce of conviction I had in me, I replied, “Not complicated at all. We use him, and then we kill him.”