32. Penelope
THIRTY-TWO
I cooked for Jamie.It was the first time in a long while that I felt energized enough to stand and knead dough into biscuits while frying chicken and steaming green beans. We sat at the table and ate like a little family while Connor rested in his swing, gnawing on his fist.
We’d fallen into a routine of domestic bliss for the past five weeks. Jameson would go over to the Stone Riders’ garage to work. Apparently, several of the members had begun requesting custom work from him, but he’d been putting it off until I felt ready to start leaving the cabin with Connor on my own.
On my own meant Harris followed everywhere, but I didn’t mind. Harris was one of Connor’s favorite people. When I headed over to the Stone Riders’ clubhouse, he’d hold Connor for me while I ate or did laundry. At least until Red arrived and then promptly took Connor from him and snuggled him. It was nice because it was giving me time to breathe, eat and even sip coffee again without having to always hold him or fuss over what he was doing.
“This is good, babe,” Jameson said, finishing off his last bite.
I beamed, my thoughts coming back to the present. All day I had worried over how I was going to pose this question. I didn’t want to get into an argument, but more than that, I didn’t want Jamie to misunderstand my reasons for wanting to know where Luke was. It wasn’t like I wanted to know, but the curiosity had started to get to me.
“I’m glad you like it.”
He started to get up, but I reached my hand out, silently asking that he stay.
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something.”
His expression was open, but his brows were pulled in tight, those warm brown eyes penetrating.
I tucked a stray hair behind my ears. “Whatever happened to Luke? I don’t intend to reach out to him or anything…but because of Connor, I do need to unblock his number and know where he is. I don’t intend to let him close to Connor without supervision for a few years, but until then he has a right to at least see pictures if he wants them.”
Jameson’s features twisted and my heart nearly dropped into my stomach.
“He made it pretty fuckin’ clear that he wanted nothing to do with you or Connor.”
His voice dropped into something low and deadly. I swallowed past the lump in my throat.
“But then he showed up at the hospital, Jamie. People are allowed to change…you’ll be Connor’s dad, you will raise him. But, if down the line, Luke wants to get to know him?—”
Jameson stood. “He won’t.”
I twisted in the chair, following him as he walked to the sink.
“But if he wants to, then I—” I started, but Jamie’s sneer cut me off.
“He’s dead, Penelope.”
My heart seemed to free fall.
“He’s what?”
Luke was an asshole. He’d hurt me more than anyone else had ever hurt me, but he was still a big part of my past. He was Connor’s father…he was a piece of shit, but he didn’t deserve to die.
Jameson kept his face down while he started washing the dishes.
“Silas wouldn’t?—”
I moved from the chair, rounding the counter and angrily turned the water off.
“Who gave the order?” My tone was low, barely contained.
Jameson leveled me with a firm, confident stare, no regret in those brown irises at all when he said, “Me.”
I shook my head, tears starting to cloud my vision. “You wouldn’t…he was your friend.”
Jameson scoffed, dropping the plate into the sink, which made it break.
“My friend? Pen, you still don’t really understand what the fuck happened between him and I, do you?”
I peeked over at Connor, but he hadn’t even stirred from the echo of the dish breaking.
Jamie stepped closer. “I may have done a shit poor job of claiming you over the years, Pen, but I did try. I—” He stopped like he was trying to hold off, as if he didn’t want to say it.
“Just tell me. You tried how?”
“Your mom encouraged me to write you that one time, said she’d help deliver it, so I thought when I was ready to pursue you, she’d help me. I took you a bouquet of wildflowers and a letter, telling you I wanted you to be mine. She said she’d give it to you…but you never?—”
He trailed off again, his throat worked, and his eyes glittered.
“You’d already moved on with Luke, and I assumed you’d just chosen him over me. So, I had to watch you two together, day after day. I had to hear about how he fucked you and kissed you. I watched how you gave up your future and handed him yours, only for him to set it all on fire. You have no fucking clue how long I have wanted to kill him.”
Tears streamed down my face at his confession, at the way his features shifted and changed into something cruel.
“This isn’t you, Jamie.”
He laughed, running his hand through his hair. “Finally killing the man who took the girl I wanted?” He stepped closer, and I retreated.
“Finally putting a bullet in the head of the man who told me that your pussy was the best he’d had, which was why he agreed to give you a property patch? When he first met you, he flirted, even knowing I’d met you first, even after I pushed him against the wall that same night and told him you were mine. He still pushed. Still flirted.”
I continued to retreat as he stalked toward me. The fire in his eyes was so unfamiliar to me, it made me nervous…not that he’d hurt me, I knew he never would, but it felt like he was walking along a cliff and one wrong move would send him over the edge.
“I puked my fucking guts out while he stood there laughing at the fact that he’d be able to fuck you without a condom because he’d knocked you up. While you may not like this, Penelope, you are my wife now. Mine. I will not tolerate another man in your life, not when he’s hurt you, and certainly not after he’s had you in every way that I now own you.”
My back hit the wall, and Jamie’s arm went to the space next to my head. His other hand came up to my face, his thumb pushing down on my bottom lip.
“For years I had to live without you. For years I was just existing in the background. This is me, Pen…the King of Chaos. You’re tied to me now and all this hatred that taints my soul is yours. Fuck, you caused most of it.”
Jamie gently grabbed my hand and slid it under his shirt, across the script tattoo, right above the band of his boxers.
“This is you.”
I finally met his stare.
“I’m your ruin?” I tilted my head back as another tear slid free.
His brown eyes branded me. “Yes. Since that day we first met.”
“Jamie—” His lips crashed against mine; his hand held my jaw in place as he moved his mouth over mine.
“I love you, Penelope, and I don’t care how long it will take you to forgive me for this, you eventually will. You’ll agree that this was the best decision.”
My heart warred with his words. I didn’t want Luke; I didn’t love him. Jameson was the one I was desperate for, but there was a wrongness to what he’d decided without my input. He likely would have never even told me. It wasn’t just my choice; it impacted Connor too, that was his father, and I owed it to him to try and find a way for him to meet him someday.
Anger began to surge in my chest as Jamie kissed me, so much so that I pulled back and slapped him.
“You son of a bitch.” I slapped his chest, but he caught my wrist. “That wasn’t your call to make, you can’t just decide everything…that’s. You picked my car; I liked my car. You picked our house. You can’t just throw money or kill anyone you want. It’s not okay.”
Jamie caught my other wrist and held them to his chest.
“Yes, I can. You’re my wife, Penelope. You will get the best of whatever I think is fit for you to have. What don’t you understand about being mine?”
“I know you; this isn’t you!” I screamed.
He kissed me again, hard. I bit his bottom lip, and he released one of my wrists so he could skim my body and shove his hand around my ass and lift. My legs went around his waist, as my back remained pinned to the wall.
“Maybe having you has changed me, Wife. Maybe realizing what it would be like to be your husband and to have you trust me with Connor, has changed me,” he said in between breaths.
My chest was rising and falling so fast, my head fuzzy with lust as he trailed down to my cleavage with his tongue.
“Changed you into a mindless, possessive monster?” I rasped, moving my hips against his. The friction was starting to make me wet. I wore a pink, lace dress that had risen up and was now cinched at my waist.
Jamie’s fingers slid down the length of my heated core, where he spread my puffy pussy lips with his fingers.
“Changed me into the man who would do anything to protect what belongs to him.”
My fingers tangled in the hair at his neck; meanwhile my hips rocked , making my sex slide over his fingers, greedily.
He met me stroke for stroke, adding another digit as he worked his fingers inside me. My head tipped back to the wall as he played with me. My messy, weeping cunt betraying my anger.
“I hate you for it, Jamie.”
He smiled against my lips, before standing up straight and pulling his fingers free from my center, then licking every single one.
“Tastes like you love me for it, Mrs. King.”
He slid his hand back down our bodies and rubbed his fingers over my clit, and then brought the mess up to my mouth.
“Open and see for yourself. You love me like this, you’re dripping for me right now because I am this possessive creature who refuses to let anyone near you.”
I shook my head, defiant regardless of what my body told him.
He made some sort of grunt before flicking the button on his jeans, his cock was out within seconds and in one harsh push, he was inside me.
My eyes shot open, my hands gripped his shoulders and I cursed.
“It hasn’t been six weeks, Jamie!”
“Five will have to do.” He seemed to freeze as he registered that he was inside me bareback, and I wasn’t on birth control yet.
I shook my head again. “Not inside me, Jameson…”
His hips shifted and…fuck, it felt so good to have him inside me again. I moaned, pulling him closer as I tried to move with him, while being pinned to the wall.
“Fuck, you feel so good.” His head dropped to my shoulder as his hands squeezed my ass, pulling me closer. My breathing was labored, my heels digging into the boxers over his ass. I loved the way he fucked me, the way he lost control, and seemed to completely lose himself.
“Yes,” I gasped incoherently.
Jamie kept going, increasing his speed as his cock slid in and out of me.
“Missed this, Pen. We’ve barely even had time to start, and I have so many plans for us. So many different ways I plan to fuck you, to have you,” his teeth gently bit down on the lobe of my ear, while his cock hit somewhere deep inside me, “to completely own you.”
My head rocked against the wall as his deep strokes continued to hit that desperate place in my core, until finally an explosion of heat and stardust seized me in one of the most intense orgasms of my life. I was screaming, or moaning, my nails gripping my husband’s shoulders while I began to float away. I vaguely sensed Jamie cursing and then he froze completely, pulling out of me in a rush. I felt his slick cock bob against my stomach, pulse once and then with a loud groan, his release coated my skin. He kept me against the wall with the sticky mess between us, all while he worked to catch his breath.
“You okay?”
I didn’t ache or hurt; it was the last day of the fourth week, so maybe I had healed enough.
“I’m okay.”
Jamie peeked at Connor to make sure he was still sleeping and then carried me into the room. He gently set me on the bed, staring down at the mess he’d made, his eyes focused and intense.
“Clean up, Pen then go talk through whatever you have to talk through. Because I know this shit was a lot to take in, but I’m not sorry and I know you slightly hate me for it. I’m not going anywhere, so take all the time you need.”
I decided to head into town and take some time at The Drip, with just Connor.
I knew Harris was outside, but all I needed was a little time to think. I pulled out the letter that had arrived a few days ago, but I hadn’t had a chance to read yet. My thumb traced over the return address as a hole seemed to open inside my chest.
Miles had written me back.
I carefully ripped into the letter as I stared over at Connor, seeing he was peacefully sleeping in his car seat.
I took a deep breath as I began to read.
Dear Penny,
It was good to hear from you. I know I didn’t handle things well when your mom passed. I know I didn’t show my emotions well, but I was in love with her and when she died, it felt like a part of me died too. Then I lost you…and I know I didn’t make it seem like you were welcome here, but again that was the grief talking.
I’d like to see you. To meet your new baby…was it a boy then?
What did you name him?
I heard that you got married, Penelope. Not sure how to process that or the fact that I wasn’t invited. It hurts but I understand.
Sounds like you’re still living with the Stone Riders…sounds like they have a bit of a complex system on their grounds set up. A house on the back of the property, and the front…sounds confusing. How do you even get to it, and are you staying in a cabin…where’s that located on the property?
Maybe I could set up a time to see you and the baby? I’d really like that.
Look forward to hearing from you,
Miles
I reread certain parts of the letter and was a little apprehensive about some of his questions regarding the property, but maybe he was just trying to get the logistics, so he could picture it. I wanted to write to him, to talk and express how conflicted I was over Luke being killed and the confusion it created in my heart. I was in love with my husband, but I was angry with him.
Something churned in my gut that I needed to be careful with what I said. I would have told Jameson, but what if he decided to kill Miles next? What if he decided to kill anyone that was perceived wrong, or that had defected and wasn’t loyal to him?
How far did this new possessive behavior stretch?
I wondered if Miles knew about Jamie trying to throw his hat in the ring before I started dating Luke. I had so many questions for my mom, and while I was annoyed, I knew whatever she’d done was to protect me. There was no way to change the past, so it wouldn’t do any good to be upset over it. Still…had he known? Did everyone know but me?
I folded the letter up and placed it back in my diaper bag. I needed to get someone else’s perspective on this and talk it through.