Chapter Thirteen
A HARD KNOCKpulls me from my swirling thoughts and I welcome the interruption. Searching the bed bedside me, I rustle the sheets with my hand, looking for my phone. I’m not expecting anyone, and I need to check my camera to see who’s here.
Not finding it, I groan. Now I actually have to go to the door and see who it is rather than tell them to go away through my camera. I am not in any mood for visitors.
Lifting myself from the bed, I wipe my face with the back of my hand. A speck of liquid dots my skin, and the sight of it makes me grimace. I will not cry. That’s not who I am.
The knock sounds again, and the lingering headache from yesterday pounds with it. With hurried steps, I make my way through my apartment. The sun glares at me through the floor to ceiling windows, and normally it’s what I love most about my apartment, but today I wish I had blackout floor to ceiling curtains. I want to block out the sun and ban its existence from my life until further notice.
Rising on my tiptoes, I peek through the hole. A blue eye stares at me. It’s so close that it causes me to jump back with a start.
After a moment, my heart restarts itself. I swing open the door, because I would know that eye anywhere. A mess of black hair so similar to mine we could be twins greets me. “Riley! What are you doing here?”
Without another word, he pulls me into his arms, engulfing me in the one thing I need most and didn’t even realize.
His smooth voice speaks in my ear, but he doesn’t release me. “Debra called me.”
“And you answered?” I half laugh as I speak, because that is a minor miracle.
“What can I say? I’m turning over a new leaf.” He takes half a step back and looks down at me with all-seeing eyes as he checks me over for injuries. “Are you okay?”
Without thinking, I nod and shrug my shoulders at the same time. “I’m not hurt.”
A V forms between his brows. “That’s not what I asked.”
“Oh.” He’d asked if I was okay, not if I’m hurt like everyone else. I’d gotten so used to saying I wasn’t hurt that I’d never even considered if I was okay. The depth of his concern washes over me, and it tugs at my heart. Because no, I am not okay.
I shake my head slightly, feeling my not so perfectly placed walls shifting under his stare. “That’s what I thought.”
He grabs a black duffle bag that I hadn’t noticed sitting on the ground outside my apartment door and throws it inside. “I assume my invitation to stay here was an open one?”
I blink up at him in wide-eyed surprise. “Of course. You know I always have room for you.”
“Good, I might be here a while.”
I peek over his shoulder at the empty hallway behind him, and he closes the door.
“Just you?”
“Yep, just me.”
Not sure why I’m surprised, but I am. He didn’t bring a girl home with him. It’s not like he always does, but it’s happened in the past. And after hearing that woman a few weeks ago, I’m a little surprised not to see her. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”
His heavy steps thud across the wood floor as he crosses my apartment and settles himself on my couch. Leaning forward, he props his elbows on his knees and lowers his head in his hands. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see you.”
He peers up at me through his eyelashes and I can’t be certain, but it looks like he’s holding back tears
“When Debra called and told me -.” His voice breaks and he takes a second before he can speak again. “I thought the worst, Ray.”
In an instant, I’m moving to sit beside him. There’s something about the helpless look on his face that has me wrapping him in a similar hug to the one he gave me at the door. I don’t want him to carry this weight, this grief. It is mine to carry.
So to protect my little brother, I build up another wall and force my despair behind its stone enclosure. “I promise, I’m fine. I’m not going anywhere.”
His arms snake, moving around my waist to encircle me in a hug. At this moment, he is no longer a man. He is my five-year-old little brother who skinned his knee and ran to me because our mother didn’t have time for him. My heart throbs for him, because if something had happened to me, he’d have no one. No one who really cares. If something had happened to me-.
My throat contracts, and my chest is heavy with an unseen weight. I halt my thoughts in their tracks. Having a panic attack right now won’t prove to Riley that I am okay. And that’s what he needs right now. He needs me to be okay.
Taking a deep breath, I let his comforting presence remind me of what’s important. Being strong for Riley is what has got me through my entire life. It’s what has driven me forward more times than I can count. And it’s going to get me through this. Just like always.
Leaning back, I force him to meet my gaze. “Look at me, Riley.”
At my tone, his eyes shoot up to meet mine. Tears glisten in his eyelashes and it’s so easy to see my baby brother staring back at me. “I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
He nods his head, but I can still see the shadow of a doubt lingering in his blue eyes.
The corner of my lips tilts in a forced smile, and I hope he doesn’t notice. “Not even a danger noodle can take me from you.”
He does a double take like I’ve surprised him, and a laugh pours from his lips. “What in the world is a danger noodle?”
Rolling my eyes at him, I ignore his question. “You look jet lagged. Let me make up the spare room for you.”
He nods his head and leans back onto the couch, looking more tired than I’ve seen him in years.
Standing, I head to the spare room. I should have called him. This news should have come from me. Shame and guilt courses its way through my veins as I pull sheets from the hall closet. I should have known what this news would do to him. But like a selfish idiot, I didn’t think of him at all. I only thought of myself.
As I make the bed, the scowl on my face grows more pronounced. My thoughts growing darker and angrier at myself with each passing moment.
How could I have put myself in so much danger when Riley needs me? I should have been safe in the storm shelter with everyone else. But instead, I put Blake and myself in danger.
Blake’s fierce face flashes through my thoughts, and for a moment, my thoughts are still. He saved my life. He saved that poor puppy’s life. If he hadn’t run after us, the outcome might not have been the same.
A knot catches in my throat, a sob builds in my chest and I drop to the floor. Panic floods through me and I press against the wall of thoughts, begging it not to topple on me. Putting my head between my knees, I force myself to take a few deep breaths. I saw it in a video once that it can help with anxiety. I only pray now that it actually works.
A few minutes pass, and my breathing slows. The knot dislodges itself from my throat. Pulling myself off the floor, I roll my shoulders. Trying anything to remove the tension, but it doesn’t help.
Quickly, I make the bed, hoping Riley didn’t notice how long I’ve been gone. Popping back out into the living room, I paste a smile on my face. I let it slip back off when I see Riley fast asleep on my couch.
Shaking my head at his sleeping figure, I pull a blanket from the basket beside the couch and cover him with it. He grunts what I assume to be a thank you, and the tiniest smile pulls at the edges of my lips. But even my brother’s cuteness can’t bring a genuine smile to my lips.
With a sigh, I run one hand gently through his black strands and push it away from his face. He really needs a haircut.
Standing, I make my way to the door. I need to get some fresh air. I need to push this from my mind before he wakes up. Grabbing my keys, I know exactly where to go.
When I pull up in the parking lot of the vet, a tug pulls at my chest. What if someone claimed her? What if someone hasn’t?
I don’t know which option I wish for more. I’ve always wanted a dog, I can’t deny that. And in this moment, I can’t even fathom why I don’t own a dog. Maybe I fear being tied down. Or maybe I fear the commitment a dog would entail. But when I think of those scared brown eyes staring up at me, I have no more arguments about why I shouldn’t. I have only arguments for why not.
With a deep breath, I force myself into motion. The door’s bell jingles as I step into the vet’s waiting room and the smell of a dozen different animals hits me, along with the distinct smell of disinfectant. My nose wrinkles, but not out of disgust, more out of not being used to the smell.
An older gray-haired woman sits behind the desk, and she glances up at me over her readers as I step up to the desk. “Good afternoon. Do you have an appointment?”
Shaking my head, I gather my courage. “No, actually, I was here yesterday. I was curious if anyone has claimed the corgi I found yet.”
Her brows shoot up in surprise as she looks me over. “I’m not sure. Let me check.”
She scoots her rolling chair towards the other side of the desk where a file system sits and begins thumbing through the files, looking for the right one. I can’t help but tap my foot as my anxiety grows with each passing second.
The same thoughts run on repeat through my mind. What if someone claimed her? What if someone hasn’t?
Then a new one joins. What if I’m too late?
In that instant, I know my decision. If she is still here, she won’t be any longer.
“Ah, here it is.” The woman’s words startle me, pulling me out of my circling thoughts.
Repositioning her readers on her face, she flips the file open. Each second of the clock ticking on the wall feels like a thousand seconds passing instead of one. “Doesn’t look like anyone has claimed her.”
Relief rushes through my entire body, and the words are pouring from my lips before I even have a second to contemplate their repercussions. “Can I take her?”
The woman stares up at me and looks me over again as she contemplates my question. I can’t help but look down at myself. My neat gray lounge wear doesn’t scream problematic to me, but what would I know about how a pet owner should look?
Then, as if she’s decided something, she shrugs one shoulder. “I don’t see why not. But I’ll keep your contact info in case the owners show up.”
I’m already nodding, because I knew this would be the case. Honestly, there isn’t any stipulation she could place on taking this dog home that I would not agree to. “Of course. I understand completely.”
This fear lingers in the back of my mind. The owners could show up at any moment and take away this precious puppy from me, but I don’t care. Any time with her is better than none.
With one nod of her head, the woman stands and disappears through a door just behind the desk. As it swings closed, I crane my neck, trying to see where she’s being kept. My heart sinks, imagining her alone and sad in a cage. Maybe I never should have brought her here.
I shake my head, clearing that thought from my mind. Bringing her here was the right decision. She could have been hurt and I would have never known. Now I can have peace of mind that a professional has looked her over. And at least this way, there’s a chance she could still make it home to her family. She can just stay with me for now. Or forever.
The moment to secretary walks back through the door and my eyes meet her brown ones, I know my decision is made.
A high-pitched bark erupts from her mouth and she tugs at her leash, trying in vain to reach me. Kneeling on the floor, I outstretch my arms, and the woman releases the corgi. She breaks into a full gallop and launches herself into my arms. I wrap my arms around her just as she knocks us to the floor. Laughter slips from my mouth as the puppy tries her hardest to lick every inch of me she can reach.
“Looks like she likes you.”
The woman’s words remind me we are not alone, and I pull myself off the floor, scooping the small dog easily into my arms. “The feeling is mutual.”
There’s warmth in her eyes for the first time since I walked through the door. “Call us if you have any issues, and I’ll reach out if anyone contacts us.”
“Thank you so much.” With a wave of my hand, I turn. The fresh air clears my nose as soon as I exit the building. I squeeze the little ball of fur that wiggles to be free. I struggle to pull the keys from my pocket, but once the car is unlocked, I set her in the front passenger seat of my car.
Once I’m settled in the driver’s seat, I stare at her for a long moment, admiring her red and white fur. She’d been so dirty I hadn’t noticed the patch of white on her neck and the little white socks on her feet. With a gentle hand, I reach out and scratch behind her ear. I could swear a smile forms on her face. “You need a name, pretty girl.”
She tilts her head to the side, and I wonder for a moment if she can understand me. But of course she can’t. Can she?
I stare at her for a long time, hardly believing that she’s here with me again. Her brown eyes stare back at me with more affection and joy than I have any right to receive. Her name clicks into place in my mind, and the moment it slips from my lips, I know I’ve chosen correctly. “Vortex.”
Even as I say the name I’ve selected for her, her ears perk up and move as though she has two tiny radars on her head. “You like that, don’t you?”
I pat her head. “Of course you do. Because you’re mine now, pretty girl. I won’t let anything happen to you.”
A feeling of finality settles inside me, like for once I have done the right thing. I have made the right choice not only for myself, but for Vortex. With one last glance at her, I start the car and drive us both to the nearest pet store.
After spending an unholy amount of money, one hand is filled with bags and the other holds Vortex’s leash as we head up to my apartment for the first time.
A laugh slips from my lips as I unlock the door, and wonder what Riley will think about me bringing home our newest family member.
I set the bags down as softly as I can, but there is nothing to be done about the way Vortex’s nails click against the hardwood floors. The sound warms my chest. It reminds me of a tiny train as she makes her way around the living room to sniff every inch. My eyes travel away from her tiny corgi butt, to where Riley still sleeps on the couch.
He’s clearly exhausted if he didn’t hear us come in.
Picking the bags back up, I head into the kitchen to clean the bowls I bought from the pet store.
It only takes me a few minutes, but once I set the bowls down on the waterproof mat, Vortex rushes over to inspect them. After a quick drink that sends water splashing everywhere, she moves onto the food. With a quick examination and taste test, she decides that the food I’ve chosen is to her liking and eats. Not wanting her to spend another moment alone, I lower myself to the floor beside her.
For a long time we sit together, and I just watch her. She peeks glances at me every few bites, either to make sure I’m still there or to check if I’m going to steal her food. Of which I can’t be sure. But just in case, I reassure her by raising my hands. “I don’t want any of that. It’s all yours, girl.”
When she finishes eating, I scoop her off the floor and head for the nearest chair. I worry she isn’t the type of dog who likes to cuddle, but that fear is squashed as quickly as it came. Vortex melts into my lap in one motion, curling in on herself. Scratching behind her ear, a smile spreads across my face. “Who’s my little donut?”
She yawns, and one in builds in my chest. Leaning back against the headrest, I allow my eyes to close. Peace washes over me for the first time. My spinning thoughts don’t disappear, but they quiet to a bearable level.
Hours pass, and we do nothing but sit in the chair. Vortex is just as content to sit in my lap as I am to have her there. Riley stirs on the couch, tossing from side to side as he wakes up. When he opens his eyes, he takes a while to look around the room and notice me on the chair.
It’s silent for a moment as Riley sits up and stares at me. His eyes move between my lap and my face. He blinks several times like he can’t believe his own eyes. “Is that a dog?”
“It sure is.” I almost laugh, because it is obviously a dog.
“Where, may I ask, did you get a dog?” He rubs his eyes and sits up to get a better look at her.
“Well, I didn’t really get a dog. I kind of found her. Or rather, she found me.” I find myself not wanting to elaborate any further, because I don’t want to relive that moment again. Instead, I stare into her sleepy brown eyes, and after a few more strokes of my hand, she lowers her head back into my lap and falls back asleep.
Understanding fills his eyes as he gets to his feet. “So, this is the reason you got caught out in a tornado?”
Wordlessly, I nod my head. I’m not sure how he knows this detail, but Debra must have told him just enough. I still can’t find the words to say much more than I have about what happened.
He takes slow steps towards us so he doesn’t frighten her. When he reaches my chair, he crouches down in front of us. “What’s her name?”
His voice is soft, and she barely opens her eyes to check him out before she decides he isn’t worth her time. “Vortex.”
“That’s fitting.” There’s a chuckle in his words, but it drops off as soon as he stops speaking. And I get it, because I don’t want to think about it either. “With a name like that, she will be a handful.”
The corner of my mouth tips into a knowing smile. “Either way, she’s perfect, just the way she is.”