BONUS CHAPTER
NOTHING COULD HAVEprepared me for today. Nothing.
My footsteps thud down the corridor, fleeing Raven’s office as fast as they’ll carry me without looking like I’m running.
Because I’m not running. I’m not.
I repeat that to myself over and over again. Maybe if I say it enough, I’ll believe it.
A door closes in the distance behind me. I know deep down that she’s pursuing me. Keeping my eyes fixed forward; I do everything in my power to ignore the quiet but brisk footsteps chasing after me.
The need to turn my head and meet her gaze burns through me like a wildfire, but I won’t give her the satisfaction of knowing the hold she still has over me. It’s been months since she dumped me, but seeing her today was like ripping my heart out of my chest all over again.
And I don’t have the strength to handle any more hurt at the moment.
“Riley, please wait.” Her voice is closer than I expect it to be, but I don’t stop. I can’t. I’m not ready to face her.
My steps slow of their own accord, the sound of her voice pulling me in despite myself. She’s a siren. I steel myself to her pull, but I can feel my resolve failing.
There’s so many things I’ve thought about saying to her, so many things I wish I had said. But now that she’s here. I have nothing to say at all.
“I didn’t know you’d be here.”
Her words are soft, but they send my blood pressure through the roof. My feet stop and she bumps into me, a shocked gasp escaping her lips. I turn on her in a single motion, meeting her face to face. We are so close I could reach out and take her in my arms. But that is one thing I will never do again.
All of my pent up anger flows into my voice without restraint. “Where else should I be?”
Tears stream down her face, smearing her always perfect mascara. The need to comfort her rises within me before I crush it. I have to force myself not to care, because she never cared about me.
Taking a step closer, her head tilts back to peer up at me through her eyelashes. We haven’t been on the same continent much less the same room in months, but the effect she has on me is as strong as it ever was. Despite my attempts to rid my system of her clutches.
The need to reach out and touch her almost overwhelms me, but I keep my hands safely at my sides. Even I know that if I touch her now, I’ll be just as in love with her as I ever was.
“This is my sister’s office.” My jaw ticks as I try to hold my composure. “Why don’t you run back to New York and leave the rest of us in peace?”
She winces at my words, but I ignore the way my words slice through my chest just like it slices through her. Even after all this time, I still can’t bear to cause her pain. No matter how much pain she has caused me. I will not sink to her level.
Turning away from her, I no longer want to see her face. She haunts me every night. I never thought I’d have to see her ever again. But here she is, flesh and bones, and I can’t find it in myself to look at her. It hurts too much.
“New York was a mistake.”
Her words make me pause, halting any chance I had of escape. The statement spins around in my head, twisting in on itself until it takes on a life of its own inside me.
When I turn to look at her once more, I can still make out the flecks of gold in her green eyes. New York was a mistake? I can’t stop myself from thinking, was New York the only mistake you made? But I know I’ll never voice the thought, no matter how much not knowing will drive me insane.
Knowing the actual answer might be worse.
“That’s your mistake. You’re going to have to live with it, Princess.” Her pet name burns on my lips. I hadn’t meant to say it. It just slipped out.
It lingers between us, a bridge between who we are and what we once were.
“I miss you.” The words are almost inaudible, but I feel them in every corner of my chest. Her eyes fall to the floor before she adds. “I want us to be friends. I can’t stand having you hate me.”
“Friends?” Spite threads itself through the word.
I can’t believe my own ears. The woman I proposed to less than six months ago suddenly wants to be friends.
Well, too damn bad.
“What makes you think I would ever want to be friends with you?”
Agony flickers across her face as another tear trails down her cheek. “You really hate me, don’t you?”
“I really do.”
“You look different.”
The urge to roll my eyes is almost unbearable.
Of course, I lose the weight, and suddenly there is interest in her eyes again. I should have known.
“Well, that’s what heart break does. It changes people.” I turn to leave once again because another moment in her presence would be too much.
“Wait.” Her hand on my wrist halts my movement, her touch firm and commanding. “At least take my new number. In case you change your mind.”
Her skin sears into mine, a wild fire erupting beneath the surface. The pleading look in her eyes almost does me in. Releasing me, she slips the card into my hand. My hard gaze slides down to it.
In another life, this chance meeting would feel like a chance to start over again. It would feel like a gift. But this isn’t another life. This is the same one I’ve always been stuck with. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
I don’t say anther word as I turn my back on her and make my way out of the building.