Chapter Nineteen
I CAN’T DOanything but pace back and forth across my living room. Vortex’s happy taps follow me with each pass I make. Darkness engulfs the room, but I can’t find it in myself to care. Only the light in the doorway is on. I was such a mess when I got home I didn’t bother with anything else.
Fire still burns through my entire body. Traces of Blake’s lips still tingle on mine. Unthinking, I raise a hand to my lips and brush them across, wanting to feel his touch once more.
My thoughts are spinning, an out-of-control whirlwind that I cannot contain.
Blake isn’t in love with Abby. His words repeat endlessly in my head. If he’s not in love with her -.
I don’t let myself finish that thought. The only place it will lead is hope. And I’m not ready to let myself hope. It was just a kiss. That’s all it was. It meant nothing.
Leaning against the back of my armchair, I run my hands over my lips again. But what if it wasn’t? What if I’m only convincing myself it didn’t mean anything?
For the thousandth time, I kick myself for running away. I’m an adult. I shouldn’t be running from the man that kissed me like a teenager. Settling my head in my hand, I force deep breaths through my nose, trying to stop my downward spiral.
A knock sounds at my door, and my head snaps toward the sound.
Taking quiet steps, I sneak towards the door. I don’t need to look through the peephole to know who’s out there.
“Raven, open the door. I know you’re in there.” Blake’s voice vibrates through my entire being. I was an idiot to think he wouldn’t follow me home.
Biting my lips, I don’t say anything.
He’s quiet for a moment, but I know he’s still there. His all-encompassing presence can’t be stopped by anything as simple as the wall separating us.
“I can stand here all night.”
The corner of my lip tilts up in a smile. We both know that’s exactly what he will do if I don’t open the door. The thought shakes me back to my senses. Without any further hesitation, I open the door.
Leaning against my door frame, he looks like a character ripped from the pages of a romance novel, his arm effortlessly supporting his weight above his head. Turquoise eyes beam down at me. His blond hair is a mess that I can only assume is from my hands.
No man has ever looked this good standing in my doorway and no man ever will again.
“I wasn’t sure you would open.” He stares at me, quietly memorizing every detail of my face. Like he isn’t sure he’ll ever get to see me again.
But I could never do that to him.
“Neither was I.” I can’t help the blush that pools on my cheeks.
He smiles despite my confession. Amusement sparkles in his eyes, like nothing I do tonight could dampen his mood.
Pushing himself off the door frame, he bridges the space between us. “Don’t you know if you run from me, I’m always going to chase after you?”
His words tumble through me even as I try to resist. His arms snake around my waist, pulling me flush against his chest. Breathing in his scent, my brain goes fuzzy. I both detest and adore the power he has over me. I can’t get enough. I want to let it swallow me whole and never let me go.
“I didn’t run from you.” The lie slips from my lips before I can stop it.
Lowering his lips to the hollow of my neck, he rumbles his response against my skin. “Didn’t you?”
An indescribable chill runs through my body, spreading goosebumps across my arms.
We both know I did. Why am I even trying to argue? We both know the answer to that question. I can’t help myself. I want to argue with every single word that comes out of his mouth.
Nodding my head, he chuckles. “I will always follow my sunflower.”
As if rewarding me for my honesty, he presses a kiss to my neck. My skin flushes and my knees feel weak, but his powerful arms hold me together even as I threaten to crumble apart before him.
Even as I resist the way he pulls me under, hope spreads through my chest.
“Blake.” My tone is pleading.
Against my better judgment, I press my body into his. Begging for more without saying a single word. Despite everything my body is telling him, he leans back, putting unwanted space between us.
Stormy waves crash in his blue eyes and I can tell it is every bit as hard for him to pull away as it is for me. He shakes his head and my face falls.
“We need to talk.”
Four simple words no one wants to hear. Ever. My words from this morning coming from his perfect lips have a pit forming in my stomach. Anxious nerves shift in my stomach.
“No.” I pull his lips back to mine and he smiles against me.
“Don’t stop.” The words sound whiny, but I don’t care. I don’t want to talk. I don’t want to think. I just want to feel his body pressed against mine.
His grip tightens on my waist. The tips of his fingers dig into my skin in the best possible way. “Yes, we do.”
Taking a deep breath, I sigh. I know this is one fight I can’t win. There’s a finality to his voice that shreds the haze of desire that clouds my mind.
A groan of irritation rips from my lips when he pulls away again. It seems whether I want to or not we are talking. Accepting defeat, I move to take a step back.
But his arms circling my waist prevent my retreat. “I said we need to talk. That doesn’t mean you’re leaving my arms. ”
“Then talk.” Accepting my fate, I trail the tips of my fingers along his arms. If he’s going to stop me from kissing him, I’m going to make it just as hard for him to think as he does for me. Goosebumps rise along the path, and I can’t help the smug look that forms on my face when his eyes close. I continue my teasing until my hands land on his shoulders.
“You’re making it hard to think.”
I let my whisper graze his skin. “I’m going to make it hard.”
His eyes snap open at my words, his grip turns punishing. Glancing up, our gazes clash. The heat I find there seeps through me. He wants me so badly, he can barely contain it. Just one touch from me, and he’s nearly wild with need.
He presses against me, and a gasp slips from my lips. His hard length presses against my abdomen.
“Already there, Sunflower.” The deep rumble of his words combined with the proof of his desire has warmth pooling between my legs.
Temptation threatens to overwhelm me. I want to put my hand between us. I want to drive him as crazy as he drives me. The look in his eyes warns me he might already be there. One more touch might drive him over the edge.
But he wants to talk, so I keep my hands securely on his shoulders.
A self-satisfied grin spreads across his face, and I know he can see every emotion I’m feeling as if it’s written on my face.
“Talk, Blake.” I say the words through gritted teeth.
His face turns serious, and he looks down at me intently. I force my gaze to remain on his. I want him to know he has my attention. Well, most of my attention.
He lifts one hand from my hip to tuck my hair behind my ear. He runs his fingers through my hair before he trails them down my side and places it back on my hip. “I need you to know that there is nothing between Abby and I. No lingering feelings. No remaining wishes. Nothing.”
The sincerity in his voice washes through me, but my thoughts resist them. He was hung up on her. I saw it with my own eyes. Didn’t I? “I want to believe you. I do.”
Closing my eyes, I refuse to meet his gaze. I can’t think straight when his eyes are on me.
“Look at me.” His words are gentle. They tug at me to open my eyes, but I resist.
When my eyes remain closed, he leans in. His lips brush the edge of my ear and I melt against him despite myself.
“I only have eyes for one woman.”
He releases a heavy breath against my skin, and a shiver ripples down my spine. It’s hard to think through the way he makes my body feel, but my mind fixates on his words. Hanging on to each one as the dam of hope in my chest breaks free from my unwilling grasp.
“And she doesn’t have red hair or blue eyes.” His lips brush against my neck before he speaks again. “Open your eyes, Sunflower.”
The pleading in his voice leaves me no choice to but to do what he asks.
He’s looking at me in a way he’s never looked at me before. He looks at me like I am the only thing he sees. Like I am the sole object of his affection.
“I hate you, Blake Emerson.” The words spill from my lips, barely louder than a whisper.
The disappointment that spreads across his face threatens to tear me apart. But I push through the emotions churning inside me. “But the worst part of hating you is that I don’t hate you at all.”
Fire reignites in his eyes, and in an instant, he lifts me off the ground. Without thinking, my legs wrap around his waist, pressing him against me once more. In the next moment, his lips are on mine.
Blake doesn’t hold back this time. He devours me with an all-consuming force. I succumb to his wave, letting him crash through me. But instead of drowning beneath him, his force lifts me higher than I ever thought possible. My entire body buzzes with palpable electricity. I can’t help but whisper his name against his lips. “Blake.”
A moan escapes his lips. It’s like his name coming from my mouth is pure ecstasy. Without breaking our kiss, he’s walking. Some part of me senses we are moving towards my bedroom, but it doesn’t scare me. I welcome it.
He doesn’t break our kiss until he sets me on the foot of the bed. His voice is soft and demanding as it brushes against my skin. “Don’t move.”
I’ve never enjoyed doing what I’m told, but when Blake looks at me like that, I am helpless to deny him anything.
Reluctantly, he releases me, and I untangle my legs from his waist. He stares at me for a long moment, just like he did when I opened the door. I can’t help but think he’s memorizing me all over again. But for entirely different reasons.
This is it. I’ve chosen him. And he’s chosen me. There is no going back. Not for me. Not anymore.
Taking a step back, he turns and walks back to the door. When he shuts it, it feels like the door closes on who I used to be. Because we both know when it opens again, I won’t be the same. And neither will he.
With one hand, he loosens the tie at his neck. The action draws my attention to the veins tracing the length of his hand. I want to trace the veins with my fingers and commit each one to memory. Slowly, he pulls the tie from around his neck and sets in on my dresser. With precision, he removes his suit jacket and sets it next to the tie.
My tongue darts out to lick my lips as his strong fingers move to the top button of his shirt. Unable to help myself, I sit up a little straighter. My favorite smirk tilts the corner of his lips. I can’t take my eyes off of him and he can’t get enough.
Painfully slow, he unbuttons each button. Each one reveals a bit more of the chiseled chest I got a glimpse of last night. I long to reach out and touch them, but I know it’ll be worth the wait.
When he shrugs the shirt from his shoulders, a sharp inhale of breath escapes me. His body is muscular and lean. No wonder he could pick me up without breaking a sweat. I knew he was strong, but I had no idea his body resembled that of a marble statue.
His eyes lock on mine, following my every move I make. Leaning back, I let my arms support my weight and the straps of my dress fall from my shoulder. His stare is hungry as they follow the movement. I can’t help but feel like prey under the weight of his gaze. With each passing moment under his stare, my dress feels more restrictive.
He takes a deliberate, stalking step towards me, his eyes twinkling with amusement. His pace is unhurried, like there is nowhere else in the world he’d rather be.
And maybe there isn’t.
This is it.
With one last step, he stops in front of me. His eyes move from mine before traveling down the length of my dress.
“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
The closest compliment he’s ever given me like this was over a text. I shake my head, and he groans before lowering himself onto his knees.
“You are so beautiful.” The tips of his fingers trace the slit in my floor length dress. “Let me apologize?”
He glances up at me, waiting for my permission. The only thing I can do is nod my head. The sight of him on his knees before me sends a jolt of excitement through me.
He doesn’t require any further encouragement before his lips press against the inside of my thigh. Glacially slow, his kisses move higher, tracing a path from my knee before stopping where my dress restricts his access. His words graze my skin when he speaks. “Do you forgive me, Sunflower?”
His gaze flits to mine, and I shake my head. “Not at all.”
He feigns disappointment. “Well, that just won’t do. I suppose I’ll have to try harder.”
He smiles against my skin as he kisses higher. With a gentle hand, he spreads my legs and my dress strains against the movement. He gives me one last glance and I lift my hips for him, not needing him to speak to know what he wants. He pushes the fabric up, revealing me to him. His eyes widen as he takes me in. A look I don’t recognize fills his eyes.
I know what he’s seeing, but I still can’t place the look in his eyes. They shine like he’s astounded. Like he is in complete awe of me. The lacy black thong I picked this morning matches my bra and dress perfectly. But it can’t be the cause of his strange look.
“You’re beautiful.” His words warm my center as he brushes his finger against the thin lace.
My breath catches in my throat. Just one touch and I already can’t control my breathing. Need threatens to swallow me whole. “Blake.”
I plead with him again, but this time he relents. His tongue darts out, tasting me through the fabric. My hips move of their own accord and his arms circle my legs, lifting me from the bed and pulling me closer.
I am completely under his control. The way his arms hold me promises no chance of escape. I’ve never let a man take my free will away before like this. But I’ve never felt safer than in Blake’s arms.
He repeats the motion again before his fingers slip the fabric out of the way. His breath hits me first, warm and teasing. “You are so beautiful.”
The breath leaves my lungs completely when his tongue circles around my most sensitive area. A groan rumbles in his chest, and I feel it deep within me. He circles his tongue again, and I am lost. I can feel the smile on his lips when he delves in again. He doesn’t stop. I can hardly breathe. He acts like a man who’s starving and I’m the last meal he’ll ever have.
Involuntarily, my hands move to his hair. Tugging at the strands, he groans against me. Pleasure pools low between my legs, increasing with each caress of his tongue. It’s like he knows my body better than I know it myself. Moans slip from my lips and there’s nothing I can do to stop them.
“That’s my girl. Come for me.”
His words rumble through me again, tipping me over the edge. Wave after wave of pleasure courses through my body. My legs shake, but he doesn’t stop his relentless assault until my shaking ceases and my breathing slows.
Lifting his eyes to mine, he asks again. “Do you forgive me now?”
Wordlessly, I nod my head, unable to say a word.
His lips press against me once more, before sliding my panties back into place. “Such a good girl.”
My skin flushes at his words. I just came all over his face, but his filthy mouth has heat pooling within me all over again.
He pushes himself off his knees before lowering himself onto the bed beside me. After what just happened, he’s too far away. I feel the loss of him instantly.
Seeming to read my mind, he hooks my knee with one finger and pulls my leg over his in a single motion. His fingers trace soft patterns in my skin, moving up and down in a way that drives me crazy.
“Why do you call me Sunflower?” The question bursts from my lips, halting his progress.
His eyes light with amusement and the corner of his lip tilting up into a smirk. “Do you really want to know?”
Nodding my head, I brace myself for whatever he’s about to say. I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want to know.
He peers at me, and I can’t help but wonder what he sees. Reaching out, I run a finger down the side of his jaw. He closes his eyes like he always does when I touch him. Words pour from his lips, but he doesn’t open his eyes. I continue my path until my hand disappears into his hair. “At first, it was my personal joke. Everyone says you’re a ray of sunshine, but I couldn’t disagree more.”
His eyes open, just as a frown forms on my lips. He closes the distance between us before he kisses the crease between brows. “But I was wrong.”
He’s so close I have to tilt my head back to look at him.
“I’m your sunshine, baby. And you are my sunflower. When I entered your sky, you bloomed with life. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
A smile spreads across my face as his words settle beneath my skin, burrowing their way into my heart.
He is my sunshine, in every sense of the word.
The last year runs through my mind. Blake has been the foundation that kept me from blowing away in the storm I’ve been trapped in. Without him, I don’t know what would have happened to me.
My grip tightens in his hair, pulling him to my lips once more.
When our lips part, the depths of his eyes threaten to swallow me all over again. I run a finger over his lips. “You saved me. How can I ever repay you for that?”
“I love you, Raven Belmonte. You don’t have to repay me. I just want you.”
His words crash through me, catching me off guard. I never would have thought in a million years that Blake would ever be anything more to me than my enemy. But staring into his eyes now, I never want this moment to end. I want to stay just like this in our perfect bubble.
“You have me, Blake Emerson. Body, heart, mind, and soul.” Nodding my head, I press a soft kiss to his lips. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”
Pulling back, I place a soft kiss on his nose. He looks absolutely, impossibly happy. I know the same look is on my face. “I’m so sorry it took me so long to see you. I love you too, Blake.”
The end