Chapter Eighteen
STEPPING UP TOthe happy couple, I extend a hand to Spencer. “Congratulations. Couldn’t have happened to a better couple.”
Normally, I would make a joke about Spencer winning and being the better man, but I no longer feel the need to. There was never a competition for Abby’s heart. It was Spencer’s long before I came back into the picture. It took a long time to realize it, but Abby was never my happy ending. She was Spencer’s.
He takes my hand without hesitation, a smile crinkling the corners of his eyes. “Thank you, Blake. I’m glad you could be here with us.”
The sincerity in his words tugs at the smile already on my face, only making it grow wider. Most people wouldn’t be self-assured enough to invite their fiancée’s ex boyfriend to their engagement party, but Spencer Grant is not most people. And I think that’s what I like best about him.
Abby looks me over, a hint of suspicion clouding her stare. But I have no jokes - no ulterior motives, just joy for two people I feel lucky to call friends. When I say nothing else, a warm smile spreads across her face. Maybe she’s finally realizing that I’ve accepted things are over. I welcome the change, even if it should have happened over a year ago.
Abby’s gaze shifts, something changing in her expression as she stares at me. “You’ve changed.”
A laugh rolls off my tongue. After all this time, someone finally noticed that I am not the same man I used to be. Pride bursts in my chest, a rush of validation for my hard work spreading through me. The sensation is unexpected, but not unwelcome.
“No, I mean it. It’s like I hardly recognize you anymore.” A crease forms between her brows, like she can’t quite put her finger on what’s changed. After a long moment, the crease fades. “You’ve grown into the man I always thought you could be.”
Her words lodge themselves in my chest. She has no clue how much her words mean to me. No one else notices how hard I’ve worked to become a person who is worth the space I take up. Well, not no one else. I think another person has noticed too. She just isn’t willing to admit it.
Shrugging my shoulder, I try to play it cool. I don’t want her to know how much her words mean to me. “Well, I’ll take that as a compliment.”
She puts her hand on my shoulder, forcing me to meet her gaze. When I do, she says, “You look happier.”
I am happier. Happier than I’ve been in a long time. It’s hard to believe I didn’t realize that before now.
My eyes pan across the room, searching for the one person who helped me get to this place, even if she has no clue that she did.
Whiskey eyes meet mine as Raven makes her way towards us. My heart forcibly skips a beat at the unmistakable anger in her eyes. It’s my favorite of all her looks. Her stern expression warns me she’s coming to tell me to stop bothering Abby and Spencer.
The warmth her gaze contained last night is nowhere to be seen now. Resentment runs through me. Did last night mean nothing to her? Am I just her friend when it’s convenient for her and she needs me? Then, when she’s used me for the comfort she desires, she just tosses me to the side like I mean nothing to her?
Her gaze stays locked on mine as she slides defensively into place beside Abby. “Blake, I didn’t know you were here.”
A small chuckle escapes my lips. So, it’s like that, is it?
We both know our eyes have locked over a dozen times since I arrived. We both know she’s been keeping tabs on my movements. Just like I have been doing to her. She’s just not willing to admit it.
She’s mad at me, and I can’t even fathom why. One minute I’m discussing work with Olivia, and the next Raven is cutting me with a look that could kill.
Helplessly, I watched as a good-looking man approached her. I stood silently, forced to standby as she flirted with another man.
Those are my touches. Those are my laughs. How dare she share them with someone else.
Two can play this game, Sunflower.
“Where else would I be?” Placing my hands in my pockets, I relax my stance, showing her I am perfectly at ease while her shoulders knot with tension. A self-satisfied smirk settles across my features, because no one can get under her skin like I can. And I love every second of it. “I wouldn’t miss this for anything.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Abby and Spencer exchanging a wary glance, but my focus remains locked on the beautiful whiskey eyes in front of me. They both know better than to interrupt us when we get going.
Raven lets out a cruel chuckle, taking a step closer to me. “I’m surprised you made the cut.”
I want to laugh, but I hold it in. She had no idea I’d be here tonight when she kicked me out of her apartment this morning. But I knew she would be here. Her words are meant to sting, but they don’t. They only fuel the fire burning within me. That’s it, sunflower, add fuel to the fire.
“I didn’t realize my attendance meant that much to you.”
Her cheeks flush red at my words, her jaw tightening as she seethes. Anger has never looked so good. She pushes her hair over her shoulder with one hand. But I know she’s trying to give herself an extra moment to come up with a comeback. “I couldn’t care less what you do.”
“Is that so?” I lick my lips as I stare down at her.
Involuntarily, her eyes follow its path across my bottom lip. Satisfaction runs through me. I’m flustering her. Breaking her perfectly constructed composure is one of my favorite things to do.
We both know her words aren’t true. She cares. If she didn’t care what I did, she wouldn’t be so mad at me right now. She’s so close I could reach out and grab her. But the things I have in mind aren’t acceptable in a room full of people.
A voice cuts through the tension mounting between us when Abby’s brother, Corey, steps into our circle. “Hey, Mom’s looking for you.”
A look of relief passes over Abby’s face, and I can’t blame her. If I were her, I would jump at the chance to escape too. But Raven and I’s problems aren’t going anywhere, so there’s no point in running from them. I’d rather face them head on.
“If you’ll excuse us.” Abby places her hand on Raven’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and shoots her a pointed look. A smirk tilts the corner of my mouth. I know that look, usually I’m on the receiving end of it. It’s a look that says, “play nice.”
The sentiment is pointless, because we all know Raven and I aren’t capable of playing nice. But neither one of us would have it any other way. We both enjoy the fight too much to quit.
Raven waves and I nod my head to them as they turn away. Abby throws one last nervous glance over her shoulder and I can tell she’s worried that we are going to make a scene. I wink at her, trying my best to show her I won’t let it get that serious.
She nods her head in return. Mouthing the words, thank you, before she turns away in search of her mother.
Turning my attention back to Raven, she pierces me with a glare. “Why are you here?”
Cocking my head to the side, I mimic her posture, placing one hand on my hip. “Didn’t you hear? I was invited.”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it.” She rolls her eyes like I’m missing the obvious.
For the first time, I am. I draw a blank. I have no idea what she’s talking about.
When I say nothing, she lets out an exasperated sigh. “Blake, it’s time to let Abby go.”
My head shakes side to side, like I’ve short circuited. I know I’ve heard her wrong. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Frustration boils under my skin as a sinking sensation slides over me. Everything makes sense. Her hesitation. Her refusal to put a label on what we are. Raven thinks I’m still in love with Abby.
“You know what? Forget it. I don’t have time for this.” Throwing her hands up in exasperation, she turns and strides away from me.
For a moment, I stand unmoving. Shock freezes me in place, my feet glued to the floor. Raven thinks I’m still in love with Abby. All the missing fragments fall into place in my mind. This is why Raven won’t drop the last of her walls with me. This is why she won’t let me in.
But I won’t just forget it. I can’t.
Unable to stop myself, I follow her from the room. I know I shouldn’t. I should stay here, where I am safe and won’t say something I’ll end up regretting. But we both know I’m not that person. I won’t sit on the sidelines and let the best thing that’s ever happened to me walk out of my life when she doesn’t know how I feel.
She’s halfway across the room before she looks over her shoulder and catches sight of my pursuit. Defiantly, she looks away, flipping her hair over her shoulder. The motion only hastens my step. She wouldn’t look back if she didn’t want me to follow her.My need is the only thing driving my feet to move faster. I want to wrap her hair around my fist and force her to look at me.
Run, Sunflower. I love the chase.
Before I can reach her, she disappears out the door to a long corridor. If I had been a second later, I might have missed the outline of her silhouette disappearing out the door to the patio. Willing my legs to move faster, I pursue her into the darkness.
“Raven, stop.” My voice thunders across the open space.
But she doesn’t stop. I grit my teeth, forcing myself into a run until I’m only a few feet behind her. With one hand, I reach out to grab her arm. Halting her progress, I pull us both to a stop. Spinning her to face me, she meets my gaze for the first time.
“Don’t touch me.” Anger and disgust thread through her words.
They slice through me, and my hand drops to my side like I’ve been burned.
“Just leave me alone, Blake.” Her voice is pleading, and when she takes a step away from me, I let her.
“Is that what you really want?”
“I don’t know.” Exasperation causes the level of her voice to rise until she’s almost yelling. Her hands clamp into fists at her sides, anger filling her as quickly as it disappeared.
Like always, my anger rises with hers. I can’t help but react to her in the same way. That is the effect she has on me. “Why don’t you let me know when you figure it out.”
A bitter laugh hits me in the darkness. “You think it’s that easy?”
“Yes, it is.” She acts like it’s so hard to choose what she wants. But I’m standing right here and she still doesn’t pick me.
She tips her head back to look up at the sky as if she’s praying for patience.
Tension hangs thick in the air. Everything in me wants to pull her into my arms and show her that Abby is the last woman on my mind. “You are the most exasperating woman I have ever met.”
“Me?” Her voice raises into a shout. Her hands move defiantly to her hips as she takes a step closer. “You are the most detestable man I have ever met. Every minute spent in your presence is a minute I can never get back.”
She presses one finger to my chest in a jabbing motion as she says the word you.
Her words slice through me, doing every bit as much damage as she meant for them to. It takes everything I have in me not to close the remaining distance between us. “If I’m such a waste of time, why do you keep answering when I call? If I’m such a waste of time, why did I sleep in your bed last night?”
She rolls her eyes, not deeming my question worthy of a response.
Every time she rolls her eyes, I resist the urge to grab her by the back of the neck and press her lips against mine. I wouldn’t let go until every ounce of her attitude drains away and all that remains is pleasure. If she keeps pushing me, I will snap.
“Why are you still here, Blake?” Whiskey eyes meet mine. Her voice is strained. “Abby’s getting married. You need to let her go.”
Irritation pools in my stomach. It takes everything in me to keep my hands at my side. Speaking through gritted teeth, I glare down at her, letting every bit of my anger escape eyes. “Listen to me closely.”
Her whiskey eyes snap to mine. Her attention is locked on me. I’ve never drawn her in like this before. “I am not in love with Abby.”
She has every part of me in her palm to do with whatever she likes, and she doesn’t even know it. She could crush me in a single second if she chose to, and I’d take it with a smile on my face.
“Don’t lie to me, Blake.” Her voice breaks like she’s on the edge of tears. Anger seeps into every word she says.
Understanding fills me. There’s nothing I can say to convince her I’m not hung up on Abby. Every ounce of my willpower drains in an instant, and I know I’m about to do something I will regret.
“Fuck it.” My hand moves of its own accord, pulling Raven to me in a single motion. In the next instant, my lips are on hers.
I expect her to fight. I expect her to push back. But she doesn’t. All of her fight and anger melt away as she presses her body against mine. I pour all my anger and desire into this single kiss and she takes everything I have to give her.
Her lips part, and I tense, thinking she’s pulling away from me.
“Blake.”
Her soft whisper lights a fire in me like I’ve never felt before. Each sensation is new. Almost as though I’m being kissed for the first time, because nothing compares to this. Nothing could ever compare to this.
Every nerve ending in my body is on fire. Our kisses deepen and her hand circles my neck, her hands threading into my hair. When she gives the strands a tug, I press my tongue to her lips, and she opens. Our kiss turns from soft to devouring in a single second. My grip tights around her waist and the moan that slips from her lips is the sweetest sound I have ever heard.
My hand shifts to her ass, pressing her against me. And just like I’d hoped, she elicits another soft moan against my lips. Every sound this woman makes is like a drug. I can never get enough.
I know my hard length is pressed against her, but she doesn’t seem to mind. She pushes against it harder, only driving my frenzy higher. My other hand dives into her hair and it’s everything I dreamed it would be. She’s everything I dreamed she would be.
Her body stills against mine. And it takes every bit of strength I have to loosen my hold on her as she leans back.
The realization of what we’ve done slips over her face and she releases me. I let my hands fall, but that doesn’t stop the smile that forms on my face.
One hand moves to her mouth and I know she can still feel me there. My kiss has stained her skin, and now she can never wash it away.
A heavy breath wracks her chest before she turns and flees back into the hallways of the reception hall.
The smile doesn’t budge from my face. You think I’d be dejected that she’s fleeing, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s only running because she’s scared of the emotions I can pull from her. She can run all she likes, but I’ll catch her. Just like I always do. Because that’s the thing about sunflowers, they don’t last long without their sun.