Chapter Seventeen
BEFORE I OPENmy eyes, I sense him behind me. His arm lays over my waist. In the night, I must have rolled off his chest to lie on my side. I’ve never been much of a cuddler, but the way his body feels against mine is like a drug. All those months I thought I’d made up how safe I felt in his arms. Like my mind must have made it up to handle the stress of what we went through.
The moment he touched me last night, I knew I was lying to myself. The way he makes me feel is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. No one can gaslight you better than yourself.
My phone buzzes with a notification. Inching away from him, I reach for my phone. A text from Abby pops up on my screen.
My stomach drops like a stone.
Abby.
Guilt seeps through every ounce of my being. Abby’s throwing a party tonight, and here I am laying in bed with her ex-boyfriend. Some best friend I am.
Abby’s reminder forces me into motion. Slowly, I pull myself further from Blake’s grasp. I need to get up. I need to put space between us. But like he’s drawn to me, he shifts in his sleep, pulling me back against him.
“Where do you think you’re going?” His words rumble through my chest.
The deep timber of his voice has butterflies churning in my stomach. Why is this man allowed to sound so sexy when he first wakes up? It’s not fair to the rest of the female population.
“I need to get up.” There’s no conviction in my words. Now that he’s awake, there is no escaping the awkward conversation that needs to be had.
His arm tightens around me and a breath catches in my lungs. Blake is hard against my back. Electricity buzzes beneath my skin that is almost impossible to ignore.
“What I need is for you to go back to sleep.” His face nuzzles into the nape of my neck.
My thoughts go fuzzy. I want so badly to give in to his words. His presence sends every rational thought I have out the window. Almost.
“Blake.” My voice is chastising, and his grip loosens without further argument. The loss I feel is instantaneous. It makes me almost regret my words. A part of me wants his arms to stay exactly where it was.
Well, maybe not exactly where it was.
Taking a deep breath, I force all thoughts of how it feels in his arms out of my head. If I have any hope of keeping a level head through this conversation, I can’t think about anything else.
Not even what I felt against my back.
Rolling over, I meet his gaze. “We need to talk.”
The second his eyes land on mine, I know I’ve made a mistake. Turquoise water crashes into me and, for a moment, I can’t speak. I can’t think. His gaze threatens to swallow me whole. And I’m tempted to let it.
“What do we need to talk about?”
He lazily lifts his arm, moving to tuck my hair behind my ear. His touch sets my skin on fire. I’m reminded of the day we fought in my office when we faced off about the silent auction. That was the first time I thought he might kiss me.
This is the first time I think I might kiss him.
His scent is everywhere. No matter where I turn, he is everywhere. Like he’s breathed himself into every part of my being. There is no escaping the hold Blake Emerson has over me.
My mind spins. I know I said something and that he’s asked me a question, but I can no longer remember what that question is. I’m lost in his eyes. I’m falling and there’s nothing to catch me.
My only hope now is to run. I can face the consequences later.
“I should go.” Sitting up, the sheet pools at my waist, revealing the thin top of my pajamas.
Heat pools beneath my skin as his eyes travel up to my face. To his credit, his eyes don’t linger as long as they could have. Or as long as I want them to.
The strap slips from my shoulder. His hand traces a lazy path up my arm as he puts it back in place. Heat pools in my center, and I feel like I might lose it if he touches me again.
“It’s your home, Raven. If you want me to leave, all you have to do is ask.” Amusement swirls in his gaze, but I can sense the desire that remains unspoken between us.
Indecision eats away at me, and that’s exactly why I need him to leave. I need him to leave, because I don’t want him to go. Nothing would make me happier than to lie back down and let Blake pull me back into his arms. But my heart knows exactly what would happen if I do that.
There isn’t a chance in hell we would go back to sleep. Not with the way he lights my entire body on fire. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt. He is a drug. Blake Emerson is my own personal drug. I am an addict and I’m worried I’ll never be able to get enough.
I want to let the way he makes me feel consume me, and that will only end one way.
With my broken heart.
Pushing all thoughts from my head, I scoot a little further from him. “I just have a lot to do today.”
He nods his head before he pushes himself into a sitting position. “Then I’ll go.”
I can’t help but watch him as he slides off my bed and walks toward the bathroom. I have to force my eyes not to travel down the length of his torso to get a glimpse of what I felt pressed against me. The temptation almost overwhelms me. Just one look wouldn’t hurt, would it?
When the door shuts safely behind him, I run a hand down my face. Why does this absurdly handsome man have to be Abby’s ex? Why can’t he just be a man I hate from the office? That would be a thousand times easier to overcome. But no, that’s not my luck.
The bathroom door swings open, and Blake’s messy hair is back into his usual style. His black suit makes him look like he just stepped out of a meeting with a CEO, not like he just climbed out of my bed.
That thought repeats through my mind. Blake was just in my bed. In an instant, my cheeks are on fire once more.
“Will I see you tonight?” His gaze delves into me like it’s searching every inch of me.
I know the answer, but I’m not willing to say it. “We’ll see.”
I know one hundred percent he’s going to show back up at my door tonight. Invited or not. I don’t know how I know, but I do. A door has opened between us, and there is no hope left of shutting it again. I wouldn’t know how. But more importantly, I don’t know if I want to.
Without another word, I follow him to the front door. I’m painfully aware of how little clothing I’m wearing when he turns to assess me once more. “Are you okay?”
Tearing my eyes away from the floor, I meet his eager gaze. He wants me to take the first step. I know he does, but I can’t. I can’t do anything while he’s still in love with Abby. “Yeah, I’m okay.”
Disappointment flashes through his eyes, but he nods once before disappearing out my door and into the hallway.
Everything within me screams not to let him leave. I want him to take me in his arms. I want to make him forget that Abby ever existed. I want my name to be the only name to leave his lips. I want him to look at me and never look away again.
Without another word, I close the door to my apartment. Slumping against the wall, I allow myself to slide to the floor. Putting my head in my hands, I force myself to take a deep breath.
What am I doing?
Walking into Abby’s party, I can’t help but notice it’s in full swing. At least I’ve arrived before being considered fashionably late. My eyes pan across the room, taking in the gorgeous decorations. Every detail is perfectly thought out with precision and care. I know my best friend, and she did not decorate this room. She’s amazing, but event planning is not her forte.
My eyes meet Abby’s across the enormous expanse of the room, and I wave at her before closing the distance between us. Anxiety courses through me. I have no idea how to face her after this morning. I know Blake and I didn’t technically do anything, but it feels like we did. And keeping it from her is killing me.
When I reach her, I pull Abby into my arms. Her arms wrap around me, and in an instant, all my anxiety washes away. I’ll tell her later. I don’t want to ruin tonight.
She’s giddy as she releases me. “It’s been too long!”
That’s an understatement. This visit is long past due. With everything that’s gone on, it feels like a lifetime has passed since I last saw her in my apartment nearly nine months ago. “Yes, it has. Maybe you should visit more often.”
When I pull away from Abby, my gaze shifts to the woman standing next to her. Green eyes meet mine, and it takes me a moment to recognize the woman standing before me. “Well, well, look who it is?”
With an assessing stare, I look Lilly Lane over. She’s the last person I expected to be here. Her tanned skin looks even more radiant now than I remember. She’s beautiful and unassuming in the most captivating way. I haven’t seen her since high school.
“It’s nice to see you again, Raven. It’s been a long time.”
An almost smile tips the corner of my lips. “Far too long.”
My gaze shifts back to Abby, taking in the emerald green dress she’s wearing. “You look simply radiant, darling.”
Extending one hand to Abby, she takes it. She knows exactly what I mean to do. Just like at our high school prom, I twirl Abby in a circle. With each spin she takes, her dress gracefully billows around her. Just like prom, this moment holds the same magic and promise as all those years ago.
As she slows, I can’t help the laughter that pours from my lips. Nostalgia washes over me, bringing with it a mix of joy and sadness all at once.
When our laughter stops, I can’t stop my eyes from moving around the room again. “I’ve never seen this room look so good.”
My eyes catch on the table next to us, and I can’t stop my hand from reaching out to brush the bouquet on the table. The design is so different from the ones I’m used to seeing. But something about it is also familiar. “Please send me the info for your florist. These are amazing.”
Abby smiles at me before bumping her shoulder against Lilly’s. “No need. She’s right here.”
My gaze shifts back to Lilly just as a blush forms on her cheeks. “Lilly Lane! This is all you?”
When I motion around the space, she shakes her head. “Just the flowers. I can’t take credit for anything else. That’s all Aiden Cole.”
Abby waves Lilly off, her protective side rearing its head when she thinks someone is undervaluing their talents. “Lilly has amazing ideas. We are meeting next week to go over more designs. You should come with me.”
My eyes narrow, and my gaze shifts between them. Abby is only supposed to be in town for the party. Why would she still be here next week? “What would you need to meet again for?”
A blush creeps up Abby’s neck, a single word slips from her lips. “Um.”
I watch as she hesitates, and my eyes narrow even further. Her brightly tinted pink cheeks tell me everything I need to know.
Abby’s hiding something from me.
Lilly clears her throat, her eyes shifting between Abby and me. “Abby liked my designs so much we were talking about setting up a biweekly rotation of flowers for her office in Chicago.”
I nod my head, but it does nothing to erase the suspicion lingering in the back of my mind. That doesn’t even make sense. Why would Abby have flowers flown to Chicago from Aspen? That would cost a fortune and be entirely extra. Abby is a lot of things, but extra isn’t one of them.
I’ll sort this out. One way or another.
My gaze circles the space. Anxiety and a knowing sense prickle under the surface of my skin. I don’t know how I know, but I do.
He’s here.
A flash of blond hair catches my attention, and my eyes fixate on the movement. A glint of blue eyes turns in my direction, but I force my eyes away.
Please don’t see me. Please don’t see me.
Of course my angel of a best friend would invite her ex to the party.
Why wouldn’t she?
It’s not bad enough that Blake left my apartment at the crack of dawn this morning wearing the same clothes he arrived in last night. But now we are at the same party, and I haven’t even sorted through all the complicated emotions swirling inside me. Not by a long shot.
Prickling chills roll down my spine, and I don’t have to look to know his eyes have found me. Because even though we are in a room with hundreds of people, his eyes always find me.
I don’t plan on giving him the satisfaction of knowing that I can feel his stare, even when I can’t see it. Because what does that say about me? That I am just as hyper aware of him as he seems to be of me.
That thought should please me. That no matter where I am, if Blake’s there too, he can sense me. But without my complicated feelings being a little more uncomplicated, I don’t want his eyes on me. They only confuse me more.
I force my eyes anywhere but on the man I know is staring at me. Movement catches my attention, and I glance over Lilly’s shoulder, raising one brow at the man making his way over to us.
His face is serious, chiseled perfection. He strides towards us like a man on a mission. His suit gleams against the candlelight, looking every bit a part of the decor as the flowers do.
“Devilishly handsome man at 2 o’clock.” I nod my head in his direction.
Without hesitation, they both turn to look. I can’t help but roll my eyes. Everyone knows you aren’t supposed to just look.
Very subtle girls.
Never one to be shy, I step forwards as he approaches us, and slip into my rich girl persona. The one I only ever use at parties when I have to socialize with my mother’s elitist friends.
I extend one delicate hand to him, like I’m precious and he needs to be careful or he might break me. My voice fills with fake interest for the man standing before me. “And who do we have here?”
The apple in his throat bobs sharply, like he’s nervous. A flash of pride would normally burn through me in a moment like this. My mother would be so proud if she could see me now. But the self importance of making a man feel small in my presence doesn’t fill me with glee like it once would have.
He takes my hand, shaking it for the briefest moment before releasing it.
He’s intimidated by me.
“Raven Belmonte, this is Aiden Cole, my event planner.” Abby informs me, and I look over him with fresh eyes.
This is the man everyone in Aspen is jumping to book for their next event. It’s hard to make a name for yourself in a town like this, but that is exactly what he has done. A man like that would be a good contact for Emerson Group.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Aiden.” My eyes move around the room again, seeing the smaller details in a way I hadn’t before. I should have known this was one of Aiden Cole’s parties. His signature touches are everywhere. “So we have you to thank for this beautiful event.”
He nods his head, but my eyes shift past him to the man standing a few dozen feet in the background. Even when a handsome man is standing right in front of me, my eyes are drawn to Blake. A smile lights his annoying face, and I can’t keep my eyes from flicking to the platinum blond bombshell he’s speaking to.
Olivia.
I didn’t know she’d be here tonight. But the look in her eyes tells me she likes what she sees. I’ve never been a jealous woman, but right now, all I see is red.
Doesn’t Blake know that flirting with our employees is crossing the line?
I know I wouldn’t put a label on whatever it is that’s happening between us, but I didn’t think he’d turn around and try to find someone else so quickly. Irritation and envy flash to life beneath my skin.
I’m trying to make our business a new connection, but Blake’s flirting with anything with legs. My jaw tenses and a surge of anger threatens to erupt from within me. If he wants to be a shameless flirt, so will I.
Refocusing my attention on the man in front of me, I try to push my irritation from my mind, but I can’t. It grows in the back of my mind until I fear it might burst like a geyser from within me.
I don’t know what comes over me, but I reach out, a laugh slipping from my lips. With one hand, I reach out and run my fingertips up the length of his arm. “Maybe I could pick your mind about some events I’d like to host for Emerson Group.”
“Perhaps another time.”
His words shock me, freezing me in place. I don’t normally put myself out there, but rejection isn’t something I’m accustomed to. It’s hard to believe that Aiden Cole isn’t interested in doing business with Emerson Group.
His hazel eyes shift past me until they land on Lilly and soften. “Can I borrow Ms. Lane for a moment?”
Understanding fills me, and it’s hard to keep a smile from tilting the corner of my lip. My lame attempt at flirting didn’t stand a chance. This man already has eyes for someone else. And she doesn’t even seem to notice.
As Lilly excuses herself, my eyes shift back to where Blake stands across the room. Blue eyes lock on mine, and I get the distinct impression that he just saw the interaction between Aiden and I.
If I didn’t know any better, I would say his eyes are on fire with a jealous rage, but this it Blake. Why would he care, much less notice, if I put my hands on another man?
If it is jealousy, I see in his eyes, I couldn’t be more pleased. Let him have a taste of his own medicine for once. Satisfaction tilts the corner of my lips.
“What was that?” Abby’s words are hushed, but they cut through me like she’s wielding a knife. My stand off with Blake ends as I shift my gaze back to hers.
“What was what?” My words fill with sweet innocence, deflecting from the emotions swirling inside me.
I know exactly what she’s talking about, but I can’t admit why I just acted like that. She’d never understand the peculiar dynamic Blake and I have. Abby would think I’m losing my mind. And maybe I am.
Just one look at Blake across the room talking to Olivia and I lash out.
Abby’s eyes narrow as she tries to figure out what’s going on inside my head. Not letting a single emotion show, I lift one shoulder in ignorance.
I’m not ready to admit to her things I can’t even admit to myself. I don’t want her to hate me. She wouldn’t understand. I need a distraction. “Hey, I think Spencer needs us.”
Without another word, she leads us across the room to where her mother stands talking to Spencer. A sigh passes my lips, but my spine goes rigid when I sense Blake’s eyes on me once more.
Forcing my head to stay straight, I grit my teeth to keep from meeting his gaze. I won’t give in. I won’t.