Chapter 33 Elliot #2
She trails off and her eyes go distant for a moment, the echo of her pain clear for me to hear in her voice.
Fury courses through me that anyone could ever make her feel that way, like she had ‘fallen apart’.
Even when she says this, there’s guilt behind it, as though she was too weak to hold herself together.
Bullshit. That asshole had been part of her life for as long as she could remember, they grew up together, and then he left behind. That would destroy anyone.
“You did what you had to in order to survive, and that is nothing to be ashamed of.” I grip onto the back of the couch, squeezing until it groans beneath my hands in an effort to stop myself from doing anything more violent out of frustration.
“He was a complete fucking moron to leave you behind.” There are several other words that I would use to describe him, but I keep them to myself.
“I do have a question for you, though. Why didn’t you go with him when he left? ”
“He didn’t ask me.” There’s a ghost of a smile on her lips as she shrugs off the question, something I’m pretty sure is a reflex, as I can see her shutting down.
“When he left, it was for a better life, and for him that life didn’t include me anymore.
I guess he thought I wasn’t driven because I wanted to stay in Hinton Grove, and he knew that he could find prettier, slimmer girls in the big city. ”
“Let me stop you right there.” My voice is sharp and I step forward, closing the gap between us.
“You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. You run your own business – how is that not being driven? The fact he even had the nerve to say those things to you and then come crawling back like you would welcome him with open arms.” I shake my head, so disgusted that I can’t speak.
I shouldn’t have just let him walk away.
He deserves to be taught a lesson, and my fists are burning to feel the sting of a punch.
No. Easy, Elliot, take a deep breath, I tell myself, looking down at the girl before me who reminds me of a better way forward. It’s not what Holly would want.
All of a sudden, it’s like I realise how close we are, my body reacting.
There’s only a breath of air between us, and the atmosphere suddenly changes, as she feels it too.
Oh, it’s still tense between us, but for a totally different reason, the air hot and heavy.
She shifts her weight from foot to foot, looking anxious and full of pent-up emotion, and my eyes track her every move.
I want to touch, to taste her again, but I won’t do it until she’s absolutely sure she wants me. None of this is going to be easy for her, juggling three guys, so this has to be her decision. I’m not even sure what this is, but I know I’m not willing to lose it.
“What are we doing?” she whispers, and I can see the desire in her eyes, yet she’s holding herself back.
She looks so unsure and my body is screaming at me to do something to comfort her.
I can’t stop myself even if I wanted to, and I reach out to gently brush her cheek with the back of my knuckles, her soft skin making mine tingle where we touch.
There’s a lump in the back of my throat, and it takes several attempts of clearing it before I can speak.
“I don’t want to hide my feelings for you any longer. ”
“What about Clay and Bear?” She leans in towards me, and I can see she’s trying to resist, to hold herself back until she knows that this is not going to hurt anyone. However, her body seems to be betraying her true desire.
This is important, and it’s vital we have this conversation, but I never expected to be doing it while sporting a hard-on.
I need to focus on this before we go any further.
That is not easy, though, when her touch feels so good against my chest, and my skin tingles despite my shirt acting as a barrier around us.
No matter how hard I try to resist, I will always feel this pull towards her, and I was crazy to think I could ignore it.
Honestly, though, I am glad that she’s asking as I wouldn’t want to be with someone who could easily betray my brothers like that.
“They know how I feel about you,” I explain, remembering the awkward conversation I had with my brothers.
I made it clear to them that it had been me who make the first move, and that all of my snide comments and pent-up aggression had really been repressed feelings.
They’re not stupid, and they’ve known me most of my life, so it shouldn’t have been a surprise to me when they told me they already knew.
They had just been waiting for me to realise.
I felt like a fucking moron – I still do now, in fact – but it’s out in the air and we can move forward.
“They were not over the moon about it,” I continue with a wry smile, “and we’re going to need to talk more about how this is going to be carried out in practice, but all of us are willing to work together.
” There’s a pause as she absorbs this new information.
For the first time in a long time, I feel nervous.
She could reject me, something I’ve not really thought of until now.
Anxiously, I smile down at her as I wait for her response, desperately hoping I’ve not read this whole thing wrong. “If you’ll have me, that is.”
A low needy noise escapes her, and without saying a word she closes that final gap between us, pressing her lips to mine.
Fuck. Relief floods through me, and although I’m aroused, this physical contact becomes something deeper than just a fuck.
For that split second, I thought that she might say no, that she didn’t want me, and it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
I need this bond with her, to feel her skin beneath me and cement my feelings.
“I’m guessing that’s a yes,” I murmur against her lips, needing to hear that all-important word.
“Yes,” she replies, wrapping her arms around my neck.
Now I have the acceptance I need, I’m not holding back any longer. In one smooth movement, I swoop down and pick her up, her arms and legs automatically wrapping around me while our kiss continues unbroken.
She fits perfectly against me, her supple body moulding to mine.
As my hands slip under her butt for support, I hold her against me and devour her.
In other circumstances I would take my time and indulge myself on her, the sweetest, most decadent treat I could ever ask for.
That will have to wait, though, as there is no way I’m holding back after waiting for so long.
Her weight in my arms is nothing to me, I could hold her like this all day, but I want my hands free so I can touch more of her, explore more of her deliciously soft skin.
With her still in my arms, I walk towards the wall until her back is pressed up against it.
Shifting my position, I use my hips to push back against hers, helping to hold her in place so I can move my hands.
I’m like a kid in a candy shop; I don’t know where to touch first. To miss any part of her body feels like a sin, especially when I’ve been dreaming of doing this for so long.
I want to learn what she likes, what turns her on and all of those secret places that even she doesn’t know, but I don’t think either of us has the patience for that kind of exploration.
That can come later. For now, our bodies are taking charge.
Kissing down the length of her jaw, I nip at her skin until she gasps, not being gentle with my ministrations.
Each bite is softened with a kiss, though, and my hands get to work undoing the buttons at the front of her dress.
It’s a matter of moments before her chest is exposed and I can see her rosy nipples puckered beneath the sheer fabric of her bra, ready and waiting for my touch.
Fuck me, she’s stunning. Her pale skin glistens under the lamplight, so at contrast to my own dark skin.
What is it they say? Opposites attract. It seems the saying is true.
Staring down at her curves, I admire every dip and rounded curve, skin so soft as my hands run over it.
She gasps again, so responsive to my touch and I know she’s pre-empting what I’m about to do.
Sliding the straps of her bra down her shoulders, I reach into the cups and free her breasts.
Her nipples are practically begging me to touch them, and what kind of man would I be if I ignored that plea?
Rolling the sensitive buds between my thumb and forefinger, I listen to her reactions, a sly smile appearing on my lips.
She may not communicate it to me in words, but I can hear her pleasure in her moans, and from the way she is grinding herself against my erection, I would say she’s ready for me.
As much as I would love to fuck her against the wall, it’s not what I want for our first time together. I’m not the romantic sort, but I want to make sure that she gets as much pleasure out of this as possible, and it would be too easy for me to get carried away in our current position.
Reluctantly, I help her down to the ground, giving her a moment to get her bearings.
Her lower lip pushes out in a pout, wrongly assuming that I’m stopping.
I chuckle, the sound low and masculine, and without saying a word I reach up to brush off the rest of her clothing, letting her dress drop to a puddle of fabric on the floor.
The sight before me momentarily takes my breath away.
I’ve been dreaming of this moment, and she seems far too perfect for this to be real.
She looks like a goddess, and I could stare at her all night, kneeling at her feet and praying with utter devotion.
Her hair falls around her in golden curls, and as she looks up at me through those long lashes, I feel myself walking the edge of my control.