33. Indiana
THIRTY-THREE
INDIANA
Sleep slowly fades as awareness returns. I blink my eyes open, smiling when it registers that Salem is wrapped around me like an octopus. I’m a little too hot and my bladder is full, but I don’t care. A little discomfort is worth the rest of this.
I’m in love.
Finally.
Damn. I thought it would never happen for a guy like me. Not having even an inkling of feelings for anyone all these years made me think I was missing a love gene or something. All the guys have been in relationships, but Cupid kept missing me. Gotta say, now that I’ve been hit, I’m so here for it.
“Please tell me it’s the middle of the night and I can go back to sleep for a few hours?” Salem’s sleepy voice is about the cutest damn thing ever. He sounds so… soft. Unguarded.
“You can sleep as long as you want, sweet thing. I’ll let your boss know.”
He snorts a laugh into the crook of my neck. “Benefits to banging the management.”
I card my fingers through his messy hair, tugging just enough to see his face. He grins up at me, his eyes still hazy, but he’s practically beaming. He loves me too.
“Don’t you dare even think about trying to kiss me with morning mouth,” Salem says with his hand covering his mouth.
“A little stank breath is offensive to you?”
“I have a pristine reputation to maintain.”
I tug his hand away, holding his gaze. “Get over it, beautiful. We’re in love, which means we’re gonna see the best and the worst of each other. That’s life and I’m here for it if you are.”
His expression practically melts. “Why is that the sweetest thing that’s ever been said to me?”
“Don’t know, but I guarantee it’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever said.”
I press a kiss to his lips, sighing against them as he tangles his fingers in my hair and opens his mouth. We kiss lazily, wrapped around each other, but for once I don’t feel a desperate need to get us both off. I just want to hold him, kiss him, love on him. I want to remind him that what I said last night is true. He’s safe with me.
“That wasn’t so bad,” he whispers as we break the kiss.
“Nothing with you is bad. I think that’s how this happened.”
“This? Us?
“Yeah. You’re the first person I’ve ever spent time with who didn’t eventually make me want to crawl out of my skin. I never need space or want distance. I want to be around you all the time.”
“This feels like a dream. It always has. The way you’re so attentive to me and what I need is all I’ve ever wanted.” He plays with the hair on my chest. “I have a confession.”
“Okay.”
“I’ve wanted to bottom for you since the day we met. ”
A burst of laughter huffs out of me. “Seriously?”
“Have you seen yourself? And your cock?” He shakes his head. “Of course I have. I just wouldn’t let myself. I was too scared that you’d turn into a pumpkin as soon as I did it. I didn’t want to blow the illusion, you know?”
“You were afraid to find out I was like all the losers you dated before me?”
He nods. “Yeah.”
“I’m glad you held out. Know why?”
“Why?”
“Because I proved myself to you without even knowing it. I would’ve hated finding out you did something just for lust or to make me happy and didn’t feel safe with that choice. Now if you ever decide to, I’ll know you really want it.”
Salem huffs a laugh. “You beautiful, perfect man. As if you could keep me off your dick now.”
Grinning, I reach behind him and squeeze his ass. “You won’t hear me complaining.”
His smile fades a little as vulnerability replaces it. “Did you really like it last night? Was it okay?”
“Come on, babe, you were there for the mind-blowing O you delivered.” I nuzzle his cheek. “I would do it again.”
He shivers so hard I can feel it. “Exciting.”
“It is.” I search his eyes for a second, and as I do, I see a future I never thought would be mine. “Just to be abundantly clear, you’re my man now. Just mine.”
“I’ve been your man since the day we met.”
“Good.”
“But no more caveman jealousy fits, huh? You have to trust me and know that I would never…” He shakes his head, brushing his fingers across my cheek. “Never even look at another man. You’re the dream come true, Indy. You have me completely. ”
“That’s a fair request. I think it happened because I liked you more than I realized and we were undefined. Trust me, I’ve never been jealous a day in my life until you.”
“I didn’t hate it, but I want you to feel secure in my love for you.”
“Got it.” I press a kiss to his mouth again. “One thing we’ve never talked about before is what you want in a relationship. Long term, I guess. Do you want marriage and houses and kids and shit?”
Salem visibly pales, trying to scoot back, but I keep my arm around him.
“What did I say wrong?”
“Nothing.” He blows out a breath. “I might be afraid to say something that freaks you out.”
“Hey. I’m your safe place, remember? You can be all of you with me, and if we don’t align, we’ll figure it out.”
Salem nods, chewing on his bottom lip for a second. “For all my longing and crying over breakups, I’m not super traditional when it comes to a lot of stuff. I don’t want to be a soccer dad or develop a yearning to join the PTA.”
I smile.
“I don’t want to be legally married either.” He seems to brace himself. “I don’t see a need for it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want the commitment or the party or the honeymoon.”
“I can work with that.”
“Really?”
“You’re talking to a guy who’s never even been in a relationship. I’m not exactly pining for the altar and the white picket fence with two point five kids.”
Salem grins. “We have time though, right?”
“All the time we need, sweet thing.”
Leaving Salem this morning was harder than expected, but there’s a lightness and bounce in my step as I enter the bar, hours later than I usually do. The guys have been blowing up my phone all morning until I finally sent a text to the group chat and told them I was alive and well.
Now they’re all gathered around the bar with Wren, Oakley, and our new bartender, Florian. I join them, ignoring the curious glances from my friends, while Oakley explains the few details they’re finishing today.
Saturday is our big grand opening, and this Wednesday is our soft opening for the local business owners on our street. The house is done, the bar is nearly done, and later today our outdoor sign is going up.
Once the meeting breaks up and it’s just me and the guys, I brace myself for their reaction to what I’m about to say.
“I have an update.”
“We assumed.” Kit grins and wiggles his eyebrows.
“Something happened with Salem last night.”
Lowen looks concerned. “Oh god, Indy. You didn’t break his heart, did you?”
I’m a little irked that that’s his first thought, but then again, my track record would say it’s warranted.
“No. Just the opposite actually. I’m in love with him, and I told him.”
A wide smile spreads across Ridley’s mouth. “I knew it. I so fucking knew it.”
“You don’t have to be a psychic to figure that one out,” Bane says.
“You guys already knew?”
“It’s not rocket science, boo,” Lowen says in his coddling but somehow caring tone.
Jerryn snorts a laugh, then clears his throat. “Congratulations, Indy. ”
“If you’re in love and happy, why do you look sick?” Kit asks.
Ridley’s face falls. “You’re not gonna bail on the house, are you?”
“No. I was thinking… maybe… not right away, you know, but someday… soon…” I’m tripping over my own words.
“You want Salem to move in?” Lowen asks, figuring out where I was going.
“Yeah.” I wring my hands together. “Only if it’s okay with you guys, of course. I think with the new layout we have plenty of space.”
“Oof, you scared me.” Ridley playfully punches my arm. “Honestly? It’s my dream. I hoped we could make it a home for all of us and any partners we find along the way. Personally, I’m all for it. Plus, Salem is awesome.”
Bane and Jerryn exchange looks, communicating without words the way they do, then Bane speaks. “We adore Salem.”
“It’s cool with us,” Jerryn adds.
Lowen nods. “Of course, Indy. I’m happy for you.”
“I never thought I’d see the day,” Kit says. “It’s… pretty cool. Also, I think I called it first.”
“Please tell me you guys didn’t bet on this too.”
“Not this time,” Ridley says. “We have some class.”
I open my arms wide. “Bring it in, guys.”
“Florian, my man,” Ridley yells, “a round of whiskey, please.”
“It’s ten in the morning,” Lowen complains, wrapping his arms around Bane on one side and Kit on the other. “I’m going to have to take a nap.”
“This is worthy of a midday baby hangover,” Kit says, patting my back. “Indy Hart is off the market. You can almost hear the hearts breaking across the country.”
I snort a laugh. “If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.”
“Truer words never spoken,” Jerryn says.
Florian brings a tray of glasses to us, filled with the perfect amount of aged whiskey.
“Are we celebrating something?” he asks in his slightly accented voice. We learned he was born and raised in France but came over to the states in his twenties with a guy he was dating. He decided to stay after the relationship ended, did his time in bars and restaurants, and just happened upon our ad in the paper. With his dark hair and smoldering good looks, he’s gonna be a hit with the customers.
“We have a lot to celebrate,” I say after a small sip to test the quality. “The bar is almost done, so is our house, and?—”
Sunlight streams through the space as the door opens and Salem walks in. My heart beats a little faster and my stomach flutters. That’s my man.
“Day drinking?” he says as he approaches us. “What’s the occasion?”
He looks happy and light, like he finally released the heavy weight of rejection from his shoulders. He chose full makeup today, and his glossy lips are like a siren call to me.
I wrap an arm around his waist, pulling him into me and kissing him so hard that he gasps. I dip him low, aware that someone took my whiskey from me, and as Salem loops his arms around my neck, the guys cheer and whistle.
“You are,” I say softly, gazing into his eyes before standing him upright again.
“Mm, you taste like everything I love.”
“Good, ’cause you’re stuck with me now, gorgeous.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”