Chapter 17
“Do we have to go to Grandma’s?” Max whined from the back seat, and Summer gritted her teeth as she backed the car out of their driveway.
“It will only be for a little while,” she promised. She didn’t want to see her mother any more than Max did, and she’d avoided her all day yesterday, but she couldn’t just leave Mama to fend for herself in her condition.
Besides, there was something she needed to ask Mama. She’d gone around and around with herself about it. But she couldn’t see any other way. She needed money to prove to the court that she could care for Max. She knew Mama didn’t have a lot, but she must have some . . .
“Is it Sunday?” Max interrupted her thoughts as they drove past the empty parking lot at Beautiful Savior.
“Yes.” One week since TJ’s death. The realization shot through her, and she wondered if that was how she would always mark time now.
“Why didn’t we go to church?” Max’s voice pitched toward a whine again. “Daddy always said church is the most ’portant thing.”
Summer exhaled hard. Benjamin had spent yesterday trying to convince her to join him at church this morning, but she didn’t know how she was ever supposed to step foot in that building again, after the humiliation of Mama’s behavior at TJ’s funeral. But she promised, “We’ll go next week.”
“I don’t wanna go next week, I wanna go today,” Max insisted. “I don’t wanna go to Grandma’s. Daddy never made me go to Grandma’s.”
“Well, that’s what we’re doing,” Summer snapped, instantly regretting her harsh tone. She let out a rough breath. “I’m sorry, Max.” She glanced in the rearview mirror. “Church is already over anyway, so we can’t go even if we want to. But you can play outside at Grandma’s. And then we can get some pie when we’re done.”
“Can I have whipped cream on mine?” Max brightened.
Summer chuckled. She’d give him a whole tub of whipped cream if it could make him smile like that.
“Whipped cream and hot cocoa,” she pledged.
“Boy oh boy!” Max clapped his hands. “Can Benji come too?”
Summer’s heart dipped. “He has to work today.”
It was the first day since TJ’s death that she wouldn’t see Benjamin, and it was her own doing—she could have timed her visit to Mama’s so he could still come over. But she had to start getting used to the fact that he wouldn’t always be there.
Not to mention that every time she saw him now, she was terrified that he’d bring up his ridiculous scheme to marry her so she could get guardianship of Max.
It had been an offhand, flippant comment, one she knew he didn’t mean. But she also knew Benjamin well enough to know that he often carried his crazy ideas to fruition. Buying a Gremlin had started out as a joke—and now he drove that thing everywhere.
Summer turned her own, much more practical, sedan onto Mama’s street, her whole body tightening as if someone had cinched a rope around her. She considered driving right past Mama’s and going straight to Daisy’s for pie, but muscle memory turned the car into the driveway.
Slowly, she got out of her seat. Slowly helped Max out of his, slowly led him to the front door. “Come in and say hi, and then you can go play in the backyard.” It was fenced, so she wouldn’t have to worry about him out there.
Summer stuck her key in the lock and shoved the door open. And then she and Max stood on the threshold, as if neither wanted to be the first through.
“You trying to cost me money?” Mama called from her chair. “Come in and shut the door already.”
Summer sighed and laid a hand on Max’s shoulder, and they stepped through together.
“Hi, Mama,” Summer called, mostly as a model for Max. If he weren’t here, she wouldn’t have spoken to Mama at all.
“Hi, Grandma,” Max obediently mimicked.
Mama grunted, and Summer nodded to Max to let him know he could go play. He rocketed through the living room and into the kitchen, and half a second later the back door banged shut.
Silently, Summer gathered up the dirty dishes accumulated on the TV tray next to Mama and started toward the kitchen.
“I suppose those Calvanos are happy, kicking me out of my own son’s funeral.” Resentment dripped from Mama’s words, and Summer froze.
She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She’d known it was too much to hope for an apology, but this was beyond what she’d thought even Mama capable of.
“I suppose they talked about me all day too. Bunch of hypocrites, that’s what they are.”
“Mama!” Shock loosened Summer’s tongue. “No one kicked you out. You chose to leave. And no one was talking about you. The day wasn’t about you. It was about TJ.” She spun on her heel and rushed headlong to the kitchen, tossing the dishes on the counter with a loud clatter.
She had to take a few minutes to just breathe before she could start washing them. She could see Max out the kitchen window, boring little holes in the dirt with a stick. Normally, she would stop him, but today it gave her a little flash of vindictive pleasure to see him wrecking the yard. And it wasn’t like Mama ever went outside anyway.
When the dishes were done, she moved around the kitchen, taking out the garbage, wiping counters, taking inventory of the pantry, but mostly giving herself more time away from Mama.
Finally, there was nothing else to do. She threw together a sandwich and cut up some carrots for Mama’s dinner, then stuck them on a plate in the fridge.
She took a couple of fortifying breaths and made her way to the living room. As much as she wanted to leave, she couldn’t go without asking for the money.
Mama was half dozing in front of the TV, and Summer clicked it off.
Mama’s eyes shot open. “I was watching that.”
Summer ignored her. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”
Mama waved her away from in front of the TV. “I got a letter from your attorney yesterday.”
“About the guardianship?” Summer blinked in surprise. She hadn’t realized Don would get those out so quickly.
“Obviously.” Mama rolled her eyes. “Unless I should be expecting more news from your lawyer that you could have told me yourself.”
“The letter is a legal requirement.” Summer tried to keep a grip on her patience. “It has to go to all of Max’s relatives. I guess I didn’t say anything because I assumed you’d realize I planned to be his guardian.”
“You’re sure you want to throw your life away over your brother’s mistake?” The way Mama said it, not snarky, not barbed, but as if it were a legitimate question, knocked the air out of Summer.
“Max isn’t a mistake.” Somehow, Summer’s voice was calm and controlled.
Mama shrugged. “Back in the day, that’s what we called it when someone got knocked up without intending to. Believe me, I should know.”
Summer swallowed back a wrathful response. She wasn’t going to rise to the bait. Anyway, it wasn’t as if Mama’s words were a revelation. She’d never hidden the fact that TJ had been a mistake and Summer unwanted.
“If you ask me, you should send Max to his mama. Let her deal with her own mess.” Mama waved Summer away from the TV again.
But Summer held her ground. “Stacy never wanted Max, Mama.”
Mama shrugged. “Doesn’t mean she shouldn’t take care of her own problems.”
“She doesn’t even know him,” Summer insisted. She didn’t know why it mattered so much to her that Mama acknowledge that she would be the best choice for Max’s guardian. “TJ wouldn’t want him to go to her.” Her brother had always said he was glad Stacy had left rather than stick around and resent Max the way Mama had resented them.
“TJ is dead,” Mama said flatly. “Doesn’t matter what he wants.”
“You know what, Mama? Forget it.” Summer turned the TV on and slammed the remote onto the arm of Mama’s chair.
Mama looked at her, mouth open slightly, as if Summer had taken her by surprise. “You don’t have to get all huffy. It’s just the truth.”
“It might be true that TJ is dead.” Summer’s voice cracked on the word. “But it’s not true that it doesn’t matter what he would want. Max is his son. And he loved that boy more than anything. I’m going to get guardianship of him with or without your help.”
Mama blinked at her. “I don’t see how you think I could help anyway.”
Summer let out a breath. This was what she’d come here to talk about. But after all Mama had said, Summer wasn’t sure she even wanted her money. Still, for Max’s sake, she had to ask.
She forced herself to swallow her pride—and her anger. “The lawyer says that the court might think I’m not able to provide for Max. Financially. Danica had to close the dance studio.” She hadn’t told Mama that yet, and she rushed past it now so Mama couldn’t add her insults. “I’m going to look for another job this week, but it would help if I had some money in the bank. I would pay you back,” she finished desperately.
“Sell TJ’s house.”
“I’m going to.” Summer swallowed painfully. For some reason, she’d wanted to keep this part from Mama. “But TJ had a lot of debts. The money from the house will have to go to those.”
If Summer wasn’t mistaken, a flash of sadness went through Mama’s eyes. “He was gambling again?”
Summer nodded.
“Well.” Mama shook her head. “I told him gambling would destroy him faster than drinking.” The words were harsh, but something about Mama’s tone of voice caught at Summer. Maybe, in her own way, Mama had understood, and even loved, TJ.
“So will you help me?” she whispered, letting her hope lift a little.
Mama blinked twice, then turned back to the TV. “I can’t say whether I would if I could, but I can’t, so it doesn’t matter.”
“What do you mean, you can’t?” Summer asked.
“What does it sound like I mean?” Mama turned up the volume on the TV. “I don’t have anything to give you. Why don’t you go ask that Calvano family you like so much. Wasn’t one of them friends with TJ?”
Summer closed her eyes. Benjamin had been best friends with TJ since middle school. How could Mama not even know his name?
“Benjamin offered.” She didn’t know why she felt compelled to say it—only that she wanted Mama to see that someone cared, even if she didn’t. “But the lawyer said that would only work if we were married.” She wondered if Mama even remembered that she and Benjamin had once dated.
“There you go then.” Mama smirked. “Go ahead and marry him. He’ll either leave you or resent you, but if you really want Max that badly, what does it matter?”
A desire to contradict Mama’s prediction seethed through Summer, but she couldn’t. Because she knew that was exactly what would happen. If she did marry Benjamin, he would only end up hating her for ruining his life. Weren’t her parents living proof of it?
“I have to go, Mama.” Summer stalked to the backyard to get Max, who cheered that it was time for pie. But Summer had a feeling she wouldn’t taste a bite of it.