Levi
THREE
The minute I arrived home, I messaged her, knowing exactly what she was avoiding by not staying over. She once admitted to my secondary persona that she isn’t as open with the real me because she fears judgement, despite the numerous reassurances I’ve given.
It may be deceptive, but my determination will get through to her one way or the other. No matter what it takes, she’ll become mine.
By breathing, she’s worthy of me.
Once our friendship moved from the gaming platform to exchanging real cell numbers—which I had to acquire a second phone for—I couldn’t stop.
After she agrees to take my call, I tap her name.
I swallow, preparing my throat to mask my voice from the man she otherwise knows.
From my place on a padded chair looking out a large window, the city below glints and shines.
The university can be seen from here, and, tucked into one of the many buildings surrounding it, Summer answers the phone, probably curled in bed while attempting to hide from the world.
“Hi. Today was hard.”
“I bet.” I know. “You’re free now.”
“Am I? Like my text said, I feel his hands on me, even after all this time. It disgusts me, and just…” Her sigh carries over the city to me. “I can’t live like this, like he took something from me.”
A fresh wave of hatred has me clutching the phone harder. Maybe I’ll call up my contacts and get myself tossed in his cell for a few hours. Fuck, all I’ll need is one to end his sorry soul.
It’s what I should have done from the beginning.
“I mean, it’s probably bad, considering he didn’t actually ra—”
“Stop.” My voice comes out rough for my Hunter persona; it cracks, probably slipping a little bit of the real me in there.
It’s appropriate, since it’s all of me demanding she stops talking about this.
“Stop,” I repeat after a swallow to shift my voice again.
“Don’t diminish what happened. The fact that it was your father makes it worse.
He should have been the safe person in your life. ”
She lightly snorts. “He was never the safe person for me. I got very few of those.”
“Still. What you experienced, what you almost dealt with—that horror doesn’t just go away.”
Silence comes, each of us holding our breath. She breaks first with a low puff. “It’s been months. I want this over with for good. If he’s in prison, the trauma needs to be locked up with him.”
If only it worked like that.
“I need you to do something for me.” And for herself, but Summer isn’t too good at working for herself, stuck in this circle of believing she doesn’t deserve nice things.
“What’s that?”
“We need to help you heal, because if you let him win, the abuse cycle never ends.”
The call goes so silent, I have to check if it disconnected. “I don’t like that,” she whispers after a bit longer. “He can’t take over my life.”
“I agree. We’ll find a way, Sunshine, I promise. You’ll reclaim all parts of yourself.”
Another moment passes, and she shifts in the background. “I need to hurt, Hunter.”
Thirty more seconds, and I’m driving to her dorm. Months ago, she agreed to get rid of all her sharp objects, anything she’d use to harm herself, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t acquired more.
“But I won’t.” Her whispered pain breaks through the rough pounding of my heart. “I’ve gone too many months without, have come too far to go backwards.”
Thank fuck. Breath whooshes out of me until I drop back in my chair; I didn’t even realize I stood. “Good. When we hang up, research what we could do for you. Ways to make your body yours again. Think you can do that?”
“Y-yes.”
“Good girl.” My voice drops into something that makes her own always hitch. “For now, we should distract your mind. Do you have enough energy to pop online for a bit?”
“Only if you don’t let me win.” For the first time all day, a smile comes through her tone.
“Never.”