33. Ruby
When Samuel and Rockwell left with my father, I was more than anxious to stay behind. I promised myself not to get attached, aware that it is dumb, but right before they drove off, I wanted to clutch to Samuel like he’s an emotional support teddy.
I didn’t do it, though.
They all risked a lot and I bet none of them are happy about the hassle I caused, so I really didn’t want to add hysterical emotional meltdown into the mix of things no one asked for today.
Thank God that Max and Logan are still here with me. I never enjoyed being alone in this house, and right now, it would feel suffocating.
They talk to me; I realize as Max softly nudges my shoulder. We have known each other for what, ten minutes now, and still, he seems to sense that something is bothering me.
“Can you switch the colors?” he asks, pointing to the various lights in the driveway.
“Mhm.”
“Nice. Hey, would you mind showing us the house?”
I nod, trying to stop letting myself fall down further into this dark hole. I show them room after room and each time I start slipping again, Max says or does something to distract me, making me laugh until I’m no longer close to tears.
Logan doesn’t talk as much as him, but when he does, it’s mostly to scold Max.
I like him. I like them both, not like I like Samuel, but in a way that makes me think it would be nice to see them more often. I don’t believe Samuel would like it, though. It would be weird to be friends with his colleagues after all of this is over.
Somehow, we end up on the couch like kids at a sleepover. We order pizza, way too much probably, and then Max pulls out his phone.
“So, about the texts I promised to show you—”
Logan tries to yank the phone out of Max”s hand, his icy blue eyes looking like the ocean on a stormy day. Samuel will rip his head clean off after he’s done with Max. Max just doesn’t give a single shit about it.
He shoves the phone in my hand before Logan has a chance to grab it. Logan dismissively shakes his head as he looks at me before punching Max”s shoulder.
“Fucking moron. Don’t think I’ll forget that.” He glares at Max one last time before he puts on a friendly smile again. I bet Logan would agree with my de-escalation methods.
When Max is done rubbing over his shoulder, I hand him his phone again and he goes through the messages.
She’s so annoying
Rockwell should have sent you
You’d like her, she’s even more annoying than you
Those were from the first week. I can’t blame him. Especially in the first few days, I really was a bit of a pain in the ass.
Max skips a few messages that are about mission-related stuff. I don’t want to see them and he’s clever enough to understand it without me having to say something. I don’t want to see anything to do with my father’s name tonight. Or tomorrow. I’ll have to take care of all this shit soon enough.
I’m repenting all my sins here
Fucking answer me Max
Max
MAX
Am I dead
Is this hell
Sorry, was out with Logan
What did she do this time
We’re shopping
Stop being a big baby, LT
I chuckle as I think back to the day we went shopping. That was really fun, a shame that we probably won’t do it again.
“How did you guys meet? Samuel didn’t tell me much about work.”
“Sam was a part of the task force before there was one, to be honest. Logan was recruited from a looney bin and I came last. Saved the best for last,” Max says with a grin.
“Shut the fuck up, idiot. He’s talking shit, doesn’t want to admit we found him behind a dumpster. Our little stray. But I’m gonna tell Charlie that you said he’s the best.” Logan roughly ruffles Max’s blonde hair.
“That’s it, I’m cutting it off again. You don’t deserve it when you’re so mean to me. And I’m not a stray.”
“You’re too sensitive, sunshine. And you are, bite like one too.” Logan shows me his arm and the red bite mark on it. It looks new, as if it happened just a few hours ago.
“Yeah, I bite. But he deserved it,” Max tries to reason as if I would scold him for biting Logan. I won’t, I would bite Samuel too if I could physically overpower him.
“And you guys are actual soldiers?”
They nod, looking at me slightly confused.
“Task Force Phoenix,” Max says. “I voted for Task Force 69 but they said that’s a stupid name.”
“Because it is. Still better than Task Force Tortoise or whatever Rockwell suggested.”
“Tartaros,” Max corrects him. “But yeah, sounds too much like tortoise.”
He turns his phone on again, showing me more messages.
Max, problem
She made lasagna
Why’s that a problem
I don’t think I can hate her any longer
Because of the lasagna?
Must be a damn good one
God, I wish Rockwell had sent me
You know I love lasagna
Why do I even talk to you
A warm feeling spreads in my stomach upon reading those texts, and I quickly shove it away again. But then my brain decides to make the situation even worse.
“Who’s Carla?” I blurt out and both guys look at me as if I just said something really horrible before they look at each other.
“She’s Sam’s ex. But it’s probably better if he tells you himself,” Logan says, and Max just nods. That’s weird because so far, he didn’t seem like someone who respects personal boundaries.
That either means it’s something horrible, or something that would hurt me, and he doesn’t want to be the harbinger of bad news.
“Look, more messages,” Max distracts me and somehow, it works.
You know that Stockholm syndrome thing
How do I know if I have that
I fucked up
The mission?
Not the stupid mission, you moron
What else could you fuck up
That’s basically a vacation
I kissed her
“Rockwell wasn’t happy about that when I told him,” Max laughs.
SAMUEL RYVES
And I thought you had morals
But seriously
Making a fuss out of one kiss
Even Logan is laughing at you
Asshole
Why are you telling everyone
Fuck you
I need to get away from here
I think I’m fa—
Before I can read the rest of the message, a big hand snatches the phone away from behind the couch. Samuel and his goddamn ninja movements.
He takes a deep breath and I’m sure we all get a scolding right from hell in a second, but then the doorbell rings.
“Who’s that?” He asks, his hand already on his gun.
He and Rockwell look like they are worried that my father had backup, but even if he had, I doubt they would ring the fucking bell.
“We ordered pizza,” Max says, calming the situation down before they kill the poor delivery guy through the closed door.
Sam grumbles something as I get up, joining me as I walk to the door.
Logan, Max, and Rockwell stay behind in the living room and I hear who I assume is Rockwell groaning as he sits down in the recliner before he updates Max and Logan.
Being around Sam feels weird now, not in a bad way, but still weird. I try to keep my hands to myself, which is even harder than usual, but I don’t want to annoy him by making him uncomfortable with public displays of affection.
We never had the what are we talk, and apart from that, he isn’t the most touchy person and I doubt that this changed now that his team is watching.
He takes the pizzas from the delivery guy who’s almost unable to look over the stack of boxes.
“Why do we have eight pizzas for five people?”
“We didn’t know what you and Rockwell would like and you are all big guys,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders.
He puts the boxes down on the floor, and my stomach drops for a second.
I don’t know what I’m expecting, because it’s not like he’s in the position to lecture me about spending too much money on pizza when it’s my money that I’m spending.
But then he grabs my waist and shoves me into a corner where the guys can’t see us. He presses me against the wall as he leans close, and my heart hammers in my chest as I feel his hot breath against my lips.
“Lieutenant,” I whisper, a smile dancing over my face.
“Don’t call me that,” he growls, his grip on me tightening. “Getting me fucking hard in front of my men.”
While this doesn’t answer the pressing question about what is going to happen between us at all, I’m also too far gone not to enjoy it as his lips clash against mine.
He lifts me up, his cock pressing against me and I’m one second short of begging him to move this into one of the bathrooms.
Maybe he could fuck me so hard that I forget about all of this shit. It worked wonderfully in the past week.
But before I can ask him, Max yells over to us.
“Stop fooling around. We’re hungry.” His voice echoes through the house and I already feel my cheeks heating up as we walk back to the living room. Samuel looks unfazed, clearing his throat as he picks up the pizza boxes.
He puts them on the coffee table and sits down on the couch while I stand in front of it like a package that nobody came to pick up. I don’t know where to sit, but then Samuel pulls me into his lap.
“I know that’s your spot,” he whispers in my ear, as if he couldn’t just get up and sit down somewhere else. Not that I mind sitting in his lap.
Three pairs of eyes are on us and I can feel every single one.
Max opens his mouth to say something, but the other three men shoot him glares that would keep even me from talking. He looks down at his pizza, a grin tugging at his lips, and it’s like his thoughts are on speaker.
Rockwell is still in the recliner, seeming gleeful as he eats his pizza.
Somehow, it feels like home. Like they are a weird little family, bringing warmth to this house. Not to mention that they also took care of taking the trash out.
We’re all splayed out on the couch and I listen to the men talk while the sun slowly goes down. When Samuel gets up to put the very few leftovers in the fridge, I go and fetch a bottle of whiskey and a few of my father’s cigars.
Sam told me that Logan and Rockwell smoke and since I’m not the type for cigars, I decide they should get them before they go to waste.
Max passes on the whiskey, instead he shares a bottle of wine with me.
“Can we just move in here, please Cap,” he groans as he lets his head fall against the backrest of the couch.
“Hate to admit it, but he’s right,” Logan says. “I really don’t want to go back to base. Even this couch is better than our fucking beds.”
The glint in Rockwell’s eyes tells me he also thought about it. But someone has to be the party pooper. I have a feeling that he has to take on that role often.
Samuel is quiet behind me, his hand unmoving on my waist.
“You guys are always welcome here,” I say with a smile while I try to silence the part of me that wants to force them to stay here.
I thought about all of this in the last few hours, especially after Max showed me the messages. At first, I was kind of happy that Samuel seemed to like me.
Reallylike me, if I didn’t read too much into it.
But I was an idiot to drag the both of us into this chaos. Whatever it is between us, it shouldn”t exist.
It’s some weird bond that formed because I basically forced it to form and because we had to spend time together.
In a way, I forced him to like me, and I caused a damn big mess because of it.
So unless the universe sends me a sign that begging him to stay is the right thing, I won’t do it. I can’t cause him any more trouble, no matter how much it hurts.