40. Chapter Forty Lakey
Chapter Forty: Lakey
Tap, tap, tap. My fingers danced across the kitchen table like they had a mind of their own, desperate to escape the shit show brewing in my head. I glared at the stack of files in front of me, wishing I could set the whole damn pile on fire with my mind. Wouldn't that be a neat trick?
Just do it, Lakey. It's only hypnotherapy. What's the worst that could happen?
Oh, I don't know. Maybe unlocking a Pandora's box of fucked-up memories better left buried? Reliving every excruciating detail of whatever those Chimera bastards did to me? No thanks.
But then again, ignorance wasn't exactly bliss in this case. Those blank spots in my memory itched like a scab I couldn't stop picking at. What if the key to taking down Chimera was hidden somewhere in that darkness?
I traced the outline of Cam's initials on my wrist, the curves of the tattoo soothing my frayed nerves. What would he do? Probably tell me to woman up and face my demons head-on. Easy for him to say. He won't be the one allowing someone to fuck with his brain.
Although, watching him this past week, maybe he should.
He'd been different since the facility. Not in ways that Kyle or Sarah would notice, but I noticed.
The way he'd go still in the middle of a sentence, his eyes glazing over like someone had pulled the plug on him.
The way he gripped the edge of whatever surface was closest until his knuckles popped, then snapped back with a joke and a grin that didn't reach his eyes.
He was fighting something in there, behind that skull of his, and he wasn't winning. Not every round, at least.
It scared me. Not that I'd admit that to anyone, including myself.
The soft padding of footsteps pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. Sarah glided into the kitchen, with her serene smile and calming energy. Damn her and her zen bullshit.
"How are you feeling, Lakey?" she asked, sliding into the chair across from me.
I plastered on my sweetest smile. "Well, I'm alive. Nothing like the threat of mind-fuckery to brighten up a girl's day."
Sarah didn't even flinch at my venom. "I understand your hesitation. Hypnotherapy can be intimidating, but it's actually quite gentle."
I snorted. "Right. Because poking around in the cesspool of my subconscious is just like a fucking walk in the park."
"It's more like guided meditation," Sarah explained. "You're always in control. We're just creating a relaxed state where memories might surface more easily."
Part of me wanted to believe her. To think that maybe I could face whatever horrors were lurking in those blank spaces without completely losing my shit.
But the cynical, battle-scarred part of me wasn't buying it.
I'd spent my whole life building walls around the things I couldn't remember, filling in the gaps with violence and sarcasm and the sound of Cam's heartbeat against my ear when we lay in the dark.
Tearing those walls down felt like inviting the flood.
"And what if I don't like what I find?" I asked, hating how small my voice sounded. "What if it's worse than not knowing?"
Sarah's eyes met mine. "Then we deal with it as it arises. You're not alone in this, Lakey. Rose has done a couple sessions since we've been back, and she says she's feeling more free. I just thought it might work for you. That's all. Nothing sinister. I promise."
I looked away, focusing on a crack in the kitchen tile.
It ran jagged from one edge to the other, splitting the square in half.
Kind of like my brain, really. One side knew things.
The other side was locked behind a door I'd never had the key to.
It was tempting, the idea of finally having answers.
Of arming myself with the truth, no matter how ugly.
But fuck, I was scared. Not that I'd ever admit that out loud.
"I'll think about it," I mumbled, my fingers tracing the scars on my arms. Each one a reminder of what I'd survived. Maybe it was time to add one more battle to the list.
Just then, Rose sauntered into the kitchen. Great, another cheerleader for team "let's fuck with Lakey's brain."
"Hey there, Lakes," she said, sliding into the chair next to me. "Heard we're talking about hypnotherapy."
I rolled my eyes. "Jesus, does everyone know about this little pow-wow?"
Rose ignored my snark, her gaze softening. "I actually went through it myself, you know. After... well, after getting back. The nightmares got worse, and the hypnotherapy helped. I still have them, but I know why now, so I can fight against the conditioning."
That got my attention. I studied her face, searching for any hint of bullshit.
She looked different than the Rose who'd stumbled into our apartment weeks ago.
The same face, the same nervous hands, but her eyes were clearer.
Sharper. Like someone had wiped the fog off a window and she could finally see what was outside.
"Really? You're actually starting to figure out what they did to you and fix what it did to your brain? "
She nodded, a shadow passing over her features. "It's not easy. But it helped me face some memories I'd been running from for years. Gave me a way to process the trauma without it consuming me."
I snorted. "Look at you, all kumbaya and shit. What, did you find your inner peace or something?"
Rose's laugh was empty. "Hardly. But I found a way to live with the monsters in my head. To make them a little less scary. I probably wouldn't run if we went back to the bag baby factory. I dunno. Last week, after seeing that... I didn't think I'd make it through, but Sarah helped."
Something in her tone resonated with me.
The raw honesty, maybe. Or the fact that she wasn't trying to sell me some bullshit miracle cure.
And the fact that for the last week since coming back, Cam had been volatile and unpredictable, which was fucking with my head.
If my constant was unstable, that made me unstable, and I didn't even know what the root was. But maybe if I found out...
Maybe if I could see what was buried in my own skull, I could help him dig through his. We'd always done everything together. Why should losing our minds be any different?
"Did it hurt?" I asked, hating how vulnerable I sounded.
Rose's eyes met mine. "Not the process, just the surfacing of the memories. But afterwards... it was like lancing a wound. All the poison came out."
I chewed on my lip, considering. Maybe there was something to this after all.
If Rose could face her demons, then maybe I could, too.
Rose wasn't us. She didn't have the same darkness, the same capacity for violence that Cam and I carried in our bones.
But she'd walked into that facility, she'd seen the bag babies, she'd run through those halls with guards on her heels, and she hadn't broken.
Not completely. If someone with her softness could survive what Sarah dredged up, then surely I could handle whatever was hiding in my own past.
Couldn't I?
Before I could respond, Kyle's voice cut through the kitchen. "Ladies, I think I've got something."
We all turned to see him hunched over his laptop, his face a mask of concentration. Fuck, I'd almost forgotten about the USB he jacked.
Kyle's fingers danced over the keyboard, connecting invisible dots. "These breeding records... they're not just about genetics. They're trying to create something specific. Something enhanced."
I leaned in, morbidly fascinated despite myself. "What kind of enhancements are we talking about?"
Kyle's eyes met mine. "Strength, speed, healing...
and if I'm reading this right, some kind of heightened sensory perception.
Each bag baby was injected with a different serum, and each has its own benefits.
Well, purported benefits. There's a stack of files in here following two separate cohorts.
One was injected with something called AL1991 and it supposedly made them have increased sensory perception while dulling emotional intelligence.
That cohort is around six now. The second was injected with RJ298C.
It just lists: healing and breeding, Project X.
Seems to be the third batch of this stuff, just labeled 92B.
They're unstable, their minds having been split into fragments that don't communicate with each other.
That cohort is almost extinct, with three remaining.
It says one is thirty-three and runs a police department. Report says: successful implantation."
The room tilted around me. I gripped the edge of the table, my knuckles turning white.
Part of me wanted to laugh, to brush it off as some ridiculous sci-fi bullshit.
But the evidence was right there in black and white.
A police department. Someone walking around in the world right now, running a department full of cops, with a fragmented brain and Chimera's fingerprints all over it.
That person probably didn't even know. Probably thought they were normal.
Probably thought their career was earned, their decisions their own.
The thought made my stomach turn.
"Well," I said, forcing a brittle smile, "guess that explains why I've always been such a freak. I wonder what they did to me."
Sarah's face hardened, her usual calm replaced by a steely resolve. "We need to shut this down. Now. Before they can do this to anyone else."
I nodded. The idea of other kids going through what I did made my blood boil.
And not in the fun way. Not the kind of heat that made me want to play, to hunt, to carve pretty patterns into skin.
This was the sick kind. The kind that made me want to curl into a ball and scream until my throat gave out, except I'd never done that before and I wasn't about to start now.
Rose slammed her hand on the table, making us all jump. "Fuck yeah, we do. I say we go back and rip their scrotums from their bodies!"