Chapter Twenty-Two
TRISSA
I leaned my head against the cool passenger side window, enjoying the cold that seeped into my skin and eased my throbbing head. The city flew past as Jacquie, my new driver—and if I was guessing correctly, my new secret bodyguard—expertly handled the curves.
Killian had kept his word and hired me a driver that gave off tough girl vibes. It was in her confident stride and the way her eyes tracked any movement that led me to believe she might be more than ‘just my driver.’
She even checked the undercarriage of my car.
I laughed and then immediately regretted it. Jacquie’s scowly frown at my reaction made me snap my mouth shut. Even though she was shorter than me by a good few inches, Jacquie’s presence alone and muscled physique was intimidating and I didn’t want to be the one to piss her off.
I was not famous like Killian or Peter. The likelihood of someone coming after me was slimmer than me winning the lottery and finding a unicorn in my living room, but I stayed silent after that. She had a job to do, and I had to respect it.
And Killian … I was still trying to wrap my brain around last night.
He and I kissed. Not a cutesy little peck. A full-on mind-melting, searing-with-heat-of-a-thousand-suns kiss.
The best and worst part of it? I didn’t hate it. In fact, I’d been seriously disappointed when he stopped. Until now, I’d never thought twice about being romantic with him.
Sure, Killian was hot. He had that broody rocker thing down even as a teenager. All the girls at school were jealous of my friendship with both him and Peter, but I’d never seen him as anything more than my best friend.
But now?
The butterflies and bursts of excitement I’d felt around Peter seemed lukewarm in comparison to how I was beginning to feel about Killian, and I didn’t know what to do about that.
What if this physical side and the burgeoning attraction was because I couldn’t separate what we were doing with real life? I’d never dated anyone, fake or otherwise, that I wasn’t hoping for a long-term commitment with. How was I supposed to keep my feelings separate when we were full-on pretending?
And if I was feeling this way, how was Killian dealing with it? Did he have any of the same thoughts I did? Or was he just compartmentalizing it as nothing? Maybe I was no different than the various women in his life that he’d discarded when he was done with them?
I didn’t want him to think about being done with me.
I rubbed my temples. All these crazy thoughts were making my head hurt. More than likely, this fake relationship was a blip on his radar. His good deed for the year. Because if Killian had any romantic feelings for me, he’d never have agreed to be my love coach in the first place.
Right?
With my brain not knowing what to do with these heavy thoughts, the silence in the car was getting to me. “What will you do while I’m at work?” I asked Jacquie.
“I’ll be close to the building in case you need anything,” she said as she merged into traffic.
I drummed my fingers on my thigh. “What if you need to use the bathroom or eat?” How was I supposed to handle her being with me? I’d invite her up to Peter’s penthouse, but I didn’t want to have to deal with his questions. I wasn’t ready to rock the boat with him just yet.
She chuckled. “I’m a big girl. I think I can figure something out.”
Heat rose in my cheeks. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to act in this situation.”
Jacquie side-eyed me. Her tawny brown eyes twinkled with inner mirth. “Situation?”
I sighed and rolled my eyes. “You and I both know you’re not just my driver.”
She shrugged, which was confirmation enough.
Killian had left before I woke up and sent me a text to expect Jacquie. What I didn’t know was that she’d been silently waiting outside my door while I got ready for the day. I’d felt awful and apologized about a hundred times since then, and had asked her to knock next time. She’d told me I wasn’t responsible for her choices. Oddly enough, it felt like she was imparting an underlying message in regards to the rest of my life.
We pulled up to Peter’s building. “Should you come upstairs with me?” I chewed at my bottom lip. As much as I’d protested having a bodyguard 24/7, here we were, and it seemed cruel to make her sit in the car all day.
She shooed me off. “I’m fine. My instructions were to escort you to where you needed to go. Not be by your side unless something happens or my orders change.”
“Okay, but if you change your mind, you have my cell. Give me a call and I’ll let the doorman know that you’re on the approved list when I go in.” I opened my car door.
Before I got out, Jacquie asked slyly. “Are you ready to explain who I am then?”
My narrowed gaze met hers, erasing any possible doubt she knew the scoop about Peter, Killian, and me. “Uh, probably not.”
I hurried out of the car with her laughter ringing in my ears. There was no way I was ready to tell Peter about my ‘relationship’ with Killian. Without having a clear plan of what I’d say, the less I said the better.
Having done this many times before, I said hello to the doorman, told him to add Jacquie to the approved guest list, and headed towards the elevator. I was here often enough to have my own keycard to gain entrance. It made things easier when Peter needed something from home as he often did. Not for the first time, I was grateful that he had given me the power to add or take away from his list. At least I could add Jacquie without him knowing.
I let myself in, mentally reviewing the tasks for the day and wondering if forcing Peter to get up this morning would be one of them. I was so distracted on the way over I’d forgotten to call him. The click of his front door was loud in the quiet space. I debated slamming it shut to see if Peter was awake, even knowing he probably wasn’t.
“Hey, Trissa. We’re in here.” Wendy’s head popped out around the corner of the kitchen.
“Shit!” My poor little heart fluttered like a trapped bird.
“Oh, shoot. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Wendy rushed forward. “I’m so sorry. I thought you knew I’d be here today.”
I probably should’ve known she’d be present since we’d be discussing an upcoming PR opportunity as well as other admin stuff. “It’s fine,” I reassured her, trying to get my heart to stop the fast, erratic beat. “Peter’s awake?” Disbelief likely edged each word. Peter never willingly got up early.
Wendy tilted her head to the side and pursed her lips. “Yes. But?—”
Peter stepped out of the kitchen with a steaming mug of coffee in his hand. I quickly headed to his side and laid the back of my hand to his forehead. “You don’t feel warm.”
He batted my hand away and laughed. “I can get up early.” At my raised eyebrow he shoulder bumped me. “Okay, sometimes I get up early.”
“Sure.” I’d missed this easy-going teasing between us. If Peter was fighting a hangover, he was usually in a piss-poor mood. And today that was blissfully absent. “I’m going to grab a cup of coffee. I want us to get started right away. I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth with you up and ready to work.” I shot him a good-natured wink and he laughed again.
Wendy hovered awkwardly nearby. Her stance seemed completely out of character for the confident persona I’d seen from her.
“Where have you two settled in to work?” I directed my question to Wendy, wanting to include her. I knew what it felt like to be the person on the outside looking in, and I never wanted others to feel that way.
She smiled gratefully. “At the kitchen table. I’d only arrived a few minutes before you, and was setting up.”
“Great. Is this good mood an indicator that you’re on board with a little positive PR?” I asked, tapping Peter’s arm as I walked past him.
His immediate frown told me that was unlikely. “I’m doing it because I have to. I still think it’s a waste of my time. I should be writing songs, not giving away my time for free.”
Wendy settled at the seat with a laptop in front of it. “Any good PR is never a waste of time,” she responded primly.
Peter rolled his eyes and took the seat next to her at the head of the table. I sat to his left, across from Wendy.
We jumped straight into planning his social media posts and sectioning out our time over the next ten weeks so that we could tease the concert Peter’s band was hosting for the Rhode Island foster care system. Wendy had decided to partner us with a local group home and invite the kids from there to the concert as our guests. We also discussed the two-week mini-tour Jareth wanted Peter to go on to promote ticket sales.
We’d only been working for a half hour or so when there was a knock at the door.
Weird.
Only approved guests were allowed entrance. “Did you invite someone over?”
Peter shook his head. “I ordered a new guitar the other day. Maybe it’s that.”
Made sense. He had more guitars than he knew what to do with, and was constantly buying custom ones along with special one-of-a-kind picks.
I hurried to the door, opening it without bothering to check the peephole.
And froze.
What in the hell was she doing here?
“Hello. I thought I’d bring this lovely gift to you in person.” Jacquie grinned at me, tilting her head around the massive bouquet of flowers and other gifts tucked between the stems. My stomach lurched hard as panic slammed through me, making me stumble.
How was I going to explain who she was?
“What is this?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Jacquie strode into the apartment with the gift . “I thought it was pretty obvious. There’s flowers, and loads of other presents. Now where can I set this down? This shit’s heavy.”
I wordlessly pointed to the nearby coffee table. My mouth gaped as I followed Jacquie to the sitting area, my eyes not veering from her as my mind worked triple time to come up with an explanation.
The gift had to be from Killian. Now that I really looked at it, I saw two books from my wish list poking up through the flowers.
“Oh, and your boyfriend said he’s looking forward to seeing you tonight,” Jacquie said loudly with way too much cheer.
My pulse fluttered, flattered he’d think of me and remember what I said I wanted yet I was also horrified. That idiot. What was Killian thinking about sending this to me here?
But the truth caused my happiness to dim. He was making a point.
To Peter. Not me.
“Boyfriend?” Wendy asked, entering the living room. “He must be some guy. That thing is massive. How sweet of him.”
Peter sauntered into the room, and the world slowed down to a terrifying crawl. It was too late to hide the gift. I stood awkwardly in front of it having no words to explain it away to Peter.
How could Killian put me in this situation?
“What?” he asked Wendy. His frown evident as he eyed the arrangement. “Is that for me?”
A nervous chuckle escaped my lips and heat burned my cheeks. I forced a smile to my face and shook my head. “It’s for me. I’m … seeing someone.” Then I did a weird jazz-hands like thing and pointed to the elephant in the room.
Peter’s narrowed gaze shot to me. “When?”
“Recently.” I subconsciously edged toward Jacquie who was likely eating up the drama.
“I would’ve known if you were dating someone,” Peter insisted.
“We’ve been keeping quiet about it.” The lie just about lodged itself in my throat.
“So quiet you wouldn’t have told your oldest friend and he knows my private address?”
I cleared my throat. “I uh … didn’t see a point in talking about it unless I was sure it was going somewhere. It’s really new. I was afraid to jinx it. And, um, we have that Life 360 app so we know where to find each other.” That lie slipped easily off my tongue. I smirked to myself. I doubted Killian would ever need an app to track me.
Peter’s stare was unnerving. I looked away only to meet the mirthful gaze of Jacquie.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Well, I think it’s lovely.” Wendy drew closer. “I’ve never seen anything like it. He must really be into you to know which books you like.”
I covered my slight groan with an airy laugh. “Yeah. He’s totally falling for me.”
“Don’t forget this.” Jacquie handed me a notecard. I wondered if Killian had paid extra for her to torment me.
I took it, only to have Peter snatch it from my grasp before I could read it. “Peter!”
He opened it. “How do I know this guy’s good enough for you? Who is he?”
I tried grabbing the note back, fire burning through my body. This was not how I thought today would go. “That’s not for you.” Now he cared? Peter held the note out of reach, but I was still able to make out what it said.
Looking forward to tonight.
XO
A shaky breath whooshed out of me. I’d been terrified Killian had signed his name. Peter looked at the note, then me. His lips were pressed firmly together and his eyes darted to the gift. Had he recognized Killian’s handwriting?
Distract, abort, run.
“Well, let’s let this nice delivery lady get on her way.” I snagged Jacquie’s arm and tugged her to the door.
Her snort of laughter only made me move faster before she said anything else.
“You’re busy tonight,” Peter ground out.
I stopped short, and likely Jacquie’s fine-tuned reflexes were what stopped her from bumping into me. He’d seen the message. Where was he going with this? “We should be done in time for me to head out for a late dinner.”
“No, you’re busy here .” Something that looked and sounded suspiciously like jealousy flashed in his eyes.
“Peter, we can—” Wendy attempted to intercede.
Peter’s eyes cut to Wendy. “You two keep telling me how important this event is and how we need to ramp up my good deeds on social media. That we barely have enough time to plan this event. We have too much to do for Tris to go out.”
“Peter.” I heaved a sigh. What was going on with him? I’d been on dates before. This wasn’t entirely new, but this was the first time someone had blatantly shown interest in front of him. “Why are you being like this?”
“I need you, Trissa. My career is hanging by a thread.” This was the first time he’d ever suggested that he was taking Jareth’s threat seriously.
And how could I say no to that?
I couldn’t.
“Okay. I’ll tell him we can reschedule.”
Jacquie harrumphed next to me. I’d forgotten I had my hand wrapped around her arm until she shook me off. “I can see myself out.”
My chest grew tight. Now Jacquie, Peter, and likely Killian were all upset with me. I hated that.
Wendy frowned at Peter. “I think we can give Trissa the night off.”
“It’s not your decision. She works for me.” Peter snapped and stormed off into the kitchen.
Wendy looked at me and threw up her hands in a ‘what’s with him’ gesture.
I shrugged.
Peter was used to having me to himself. Was this what he was upset about? Sharing me and my time? Because I found it hard to believe he had any type of romantic feelings for me all of a sudden.
He was acting like a toddler not wanting to share his favorite toy. I considered telling Peter to forget it and leave at my regular time, but his career and my job were important to me. I needed Peter to go along with what we were planning, and even if it was out of jealousy, at least he was working with us.
I shot Killian a message.
TRIS
What were you thinking?
KILLIAN
Showing my girlfriend how much I appreciate her.
TRIS
We’re PRETENDING to date. I am NOT your girlfriend. Peter’s pissed.
KILLIAN
Is he? So he got his panties in a bunch. How terrible.
TRIS
Is that why you sent it here? To piss Peter off? I don’t want to be in the middle of your feud. I never did.
My heart twisted. I’d rather he had it sent to my house, but instead he had to make a big statement and get a rise out of Peter at the same time.
The dots letting me know he was responding kept flashing, and then disappearing, but no text appeared.
KILLIAN
I’m sorry.
I lifted my fingers off the screen. I’d been ready to fire off a text to tell him to leave me alone.
An apology was the last thing I expected.
KILLIAN
You’re right. It was a dick move. I wanted to do something nice for you and I wrapped that up in wanting to fuck with Peter. I’ll do better.
TRIS
Okay. Thank you.
I snuck another glance at my present. With his apology and acknowledgement of how crappy it was for him to wrap my gift up in his vendetta, I was able to appreciate it a little more. I tucked the card into my back pocket, reminding myself that I needed to tell Killian I couldn’t see him tonight.
TRIS
I can’t go out tonight.
KILLIAN
Everything okay?
TRIS
Work stuff.
KILLIAN
Right. Of course.
TRIS
It’s my job. We’re planning a big charity event and it’s so last minute and we have so much to do. I’ll make it up to you.
Where had that promise come from? And now all I could think about was kissing Killian again.
“Everything okay?” Peter called out from the kitchen.
“Yup. Just commented on socials. Be right in.”
My phone dinged, making a liar out of me and I hoped Peter hadn’t heard it.
KILLIAN
I’ll hold you to that.
I hurried into the kitchen and joined them at the table. The silence permeated the air. Wendy glared at Peter and he stared at his phone. “Did something happen?” I asked. I had a distinct feeling that this wasn’t only about me and my bouquet.
No response. From either of them.
“So … the concert,” I finally tossed in, hoping one of them would pick up the thread of conversation.
Peter not talking was weird. And so were the looks he was giving me. Ones that were filled with a mix of hurt and anger.
Well, he could suck it. For the first time the sun didn’t rise and set on Peter in my life.
It was weird and exciting all at once.
“Listen … Somebody besides me needs to talk or I’m going home.”
Peter met my gaze with wide eyes. Apparently, we were going through all the emotions right now. And as much as I hated the upheaval in our relationship, I realized maybe it was time for a change.
I’d give it one more try. “How many bands have agreed to play?” I pulled out my notebook to jot down the next steps for the event. I wanted to create hype on Peter’s various platforms about who was going to be at the concert. As he reminded us earlier, we were already at a deficit timewise.
Wendy nodded. “I apologize. I let my emotions come before the work we need to do.” She looked pointedly at Peter who had now adopted his ever handy disinterested look. One he’d perfected when he didn’t want to discuss something.
So much for his cooperation. Damn it.
“Thankfully Jareth is completely on board with this. Or otherwise half of these bands never would have agreed to shuffle their schedules around to accommodate us,” Wendy revealed
At Jareth’s name Peter, didn’t hide his frown. “We don’t need his help with this.”
“Peter … I get that you’re not his biggest fan, but having him work with us on the charity event will only help,” I said, trying to coax him into a better mindset about this. We needed Jareth’s connections to pull this off.
“Not his biggest fan? He threatened my career, Tris. He’s an asshole.” Peter sprang to his feet so fast his chair rocked aggressively before settling back on four legs. After his off behavior about my gift and date, it was only a matter of time before he blew up about Jareth, too. Everything got under his skin lately.
If I couldn’t rein him in there’d be no more work done today. “Peter, come on. Let’s just forget?—”
Wendy stood. “No. Stop coddling him.” She pointed at Peter. “Sit your ass down. Now. I’m here because you clearly can’t handle yourself or your career. If you want to keep even a semblance of what you have with The Lost Boys, you’ll sit down, shut up, and participate. You’ve been a complete and utter child this morning.”
My eyes grew wide as I stared at Wendy. I’d never spoken like that to Peter.
Well, not since we were younger.
Peter’s palms lay heavy on the table as the two of them locked anger-filled gazes. Amidst the anger and frustration, heat glinted in the way their pupils dilated and their breaths grew ragged.
Part of me wanted to grab popcorn and sit back while I watched this exchange. I was utterly fascinated that someone dared to call Peter on his shit. I secretly cheered on Wendy as the winner.
And I realized I really should have been doing more of this all along.
Today was the day for revelations it seemed.
Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t even mad at her for calling me out like that. Now that my ‘Peter is my future love’ rose-colored glasses had slipped, I realized I had probably given Peter far more leeway than I should have. Especially over the past few months as his behavior grew worse.
Wendy wasn’t done. “That was not a request, Peter. Your options are down to two. Work with me, or end your career. If Jareth lets go of your contract, he can and will make sure no one else picks you up.” She started gathering her papers on the table.
Holy shit! Was she about to quit?
I glanced at Peter. What would he do?
“I guess I should sit my fucking ass down then.” His jaw tightened. A small muscle pulsed while a storm of emotions flickered in his gaze—anger, frustration, regret, and then—shockingly—a grudging acceptance. He dropped back to his seat and waved a condescending carry-on motion with his hand at Wendy.
Her shoulders released the tiniest bit and I wondered if she’d questioned whether her veiled threat would work. I was beginning to think that maybe hiring Wendy Darling was just what Peter needed.
A wave of sadness stirred within me. Things were changing between Peter and I. And while I could acknowledge that it was necessary, a small part of me hated letting go of the familiar patterns we’d fallen into. If I were to remain friends with Peter, we would need to find a new path.
For so long, I’d been the one to keep Peter in line, the one who was there for him. But now it seemed like the right time to turn that job over to someone else.
It was time to figure out who Trissabelle Byrd was—without Peter Young.
As of this moment, my life didn’t revolve around Peter anymore, and I was oddly okay with that.
It was both exciting and terrifying.