Chapter Twenty-Three
TRISSA
J acquie’s headlights reflected off the front window of Red’s Sweet Salvation as she pulled into the bakery. I stepped out of the car and waited for Ana to join me before we waved goodbye to my new protector and I let out a sigh. After a little over two weeks of her driving me everywhere, it almost felt normal.
As soon as she pulled away from the curb, Ana grabbed my arm all in a tizzy. “I still can’t get over Killian getting you a driver-bodyguard.”
“She’s just my driver.” We walked arm and arm the remaining few feet to Red’s Sweet Salvation, the bakery that was hosting our book club. I glanced at the sign and took a deep breath. Tonight was going to be fun, I reminded myself. It was fine that I only knew Ana and Lexi.
“Yeah, and I’m a chicken. Just start calling me Kylo Hen.”
I snort-laughed as she referenced the name of a chicken in the book we were discussing tonight during book club, The Cock Down the Block . “Bock, bock.”
She shoved me playfully.
Ana’s hand gripped the door handle. When did going into a room of strangers make me nervous? What if they hated me? “Are you sure they won’t mind me butting in?” I asked.
Ana rolled her eyes at me and the question I’d asked in various forms all week long.
I held up my hands and laughed. “Alright. I’ll stop.” It had been forever since I made new friends. Most of my interactions over the last few years was as Peter’s assistant, which left little time for personal friendships, new or old.
“You know me and Lexi, and everyone else is really cool.” She tugged the door open.
“You’re right, it’ll be fine,” I muttered under my breath so no one would hear. I’d ignored my nerves, and the fact that I was holding the book so tight my knuckles were white.
At the jingle of the bell above the door, five sets of eyes fixed on us. Four seats were open at the tables pushed together in space in front of the big window.
“You made it,” Lexi jumped up and hugged me. My shoulders relaxed in relief at seeing her sweet face.
A beautiful curvy woman with sapphire eyes and light brown hair pulled back in a ponytail stood to greet us. “Hi, I’m Ruby. This is my place. Welcome. Let me show you where the snacks and drinks are.”
I mentally catalogued the women Ana said would be here. Ruby. Bakery owner.
What stood out the most to me was that every woman here was plus size just like myself.
I stuck out my hand. “Trissa.”
She grinned and pulled me in for a hug. “No formalities here. Come on. Ana, can I get you anything?”
Ana joined Lexi at the table and sat. “A glass of wine would be amazing. Thanks, Ru.”
“We can introduce you to everyone once we get you settled. I know it can be a little overwhelming being the new girl.” She guided me to a table that had the most delicious smelling pastry, wine, coffee, and water.
I let out a relieved sigh. “Yeah. Thanks.”
She poured a glass of white wine, handed it to me, and then poured another. “Did you get a chance to read the book?”
I held up the paperback as though that was proof I read it and giggled. “Oh. Yeah. Sorry. I’m nervous and trying hard not to be weird. I loved it.”
Ruby picked up both glasses and leaned in conspiratorially. “Can I share a secret with you?”
“Uh, sure,” I whispered back, not even sure why since Ruby was talking at a normal volume.
“All the best people are.” She had the greatest smile. It put me at ease.
“Are what?” I frowned.
She chuckled. “Weird, of course.”
I laughed with her. “You’re right.”
We made our way back to the group. I chose the seat on the other side of Ana and gave a tiny wave to the ladies at the table.
“This is Trissa,” Ana introduced me and then pointed at each woman around the table as she said their name. “You know Lexi and Ruby, that’s Ashlyn and Harper. Jenn, Lily, Wren, and my sister Elsie couldn’t make it. We’re just waiting for?—”
As though they timed it just right, the door flew open and bounced on the wall behind it. The furious ringing of the bell filled the room, chastising the newcomers.
“I’m here. The party can start,” a honey-sultry voice announced. Everything about this newcomer screamed money and class. Her raven-colored beach waves framed her face and contrasted with the pastel minidress that fit her curvy figure flawlessly. She grinned. I wondered if Lexi had a hand in choosing her wardrobe.
“Jess, you’re ridiculous.” Hazel slipped in after her and stopped short. “Tris?”
“Hi, Hazel.” I loved that I had another friendly face I knew here.
Jess tossed her coat and purse on a chair before making her way to the beverage table. “Ha! Got to love the two degrees of separation in Little Rhody.”
Jess wasn’t wrong. While I agreed with her that this was beyond crazy, out of all the people I’d met when I returned to the state, three of them were in this book club. It was like someone had a hand in my life and was creating ways to put these amazing women into it.
Maybe our friendships were meant to be. And maybe my fanciful thoughts were better reserved for fairytales, but I couldn’t deny that this gathering zinged with something magical.
“Jareth had a meeting tonight with Killian. If I’d known you’d be here, I’d have offered to pick you up.” Hazel sat beside me and rubbed her little baby bump. “Hey, Jess, can you bring me a glass of water, please?”
I frowned. “A meeting with Jareth? He just said he was hanging out with the guys we grew up with.”
Hazel froze for the barest second, then gave me a forced smile. “Yeah, he started hanging out with them a few years or so ago at their monthly meetups.”
Monthly meetups? That was more than what he’d told me. “That’s weird. He’s never mentioned knowing Jareth personally outside of work.”
Hazel shrugged, suddenly fixated on the water Jess had brought her and gulped it down. “I’m sure he doesn’t want people to think he’ll get special treatment, since they’re friends.”
It was weird to think Jareth had friends. He was so closed off, and honestly terrifying at times. “I guess.” I ran my fingers absentmindedly over the bracelet Killian had given me. One I hadn’t taken off since it arrived.
“How are you feeling?” Jess asked Hazel in between sips.
Hazel gleamed radiance. The smile that was always quick to burst across her face returned. “Good. I’m not as nauseous now at fifteen weeks, but having to get up and pee all night isn’t helping. Why doesn’t anyone tell you the second you test positive this happens? I seriously thought it was later in pregnancy.”
Jess rubbed Hazel’s belly. “I need my godchild and their mama to be treated like the royalty they are. Do I need to talk to my BFF about not pampering you enough?”
A wry smile twisted Hazel’s lips. “Trust me, pampering isn’t the problem. I’ve had to remind Jareth that I can do things for myself almost every day. You know him. He’s overprotective times a million.”
Harper, the pretty redhead across the table, laughed. “How shocking.” Her tone told me it wasn’t, and that everyone at this table likely had Jareth’s number and knew how he felt about Hazel. “I said the same thing when I was pregnant with Harmony about peeing all the time.”
“Not what I wanted to hear.” Hazel grumbled in sympathy before asking, “How old is she now?”
“She just turned two. When they say time flies, they’re not kidding. It feels like I just had her yesterday.” She pulled out her phone and showed us pictures of the most adorable dark-haired toddler. “She’s got her daddy and my whole family wrapped around her little finger. So much so that Lincoln has been hinting we should try for another one.”
It wasn’t until she mentioned her partner’s name that a wriggling began at the back of my mind. Did she mean—? Then she stopped on a picture of her daughter with a gorgeous man that I put two and two together. “Lincoln Erickson.” I couldn’t mask the awe in my voice. “He’s gorgeous.” Well, crap. I hadn’t meant to blurt that out. I’d decided a long time ago that the now local movie star was my free pass. Now sitting across from his partner I felt like I might need to find a replacement.
Harper giggled. A light, happy sound. “Yeah. It took my sisters and me a while to get used to his fame too.”
My stomach whirled again. “I’m so sorry. I just … I didn’t mean … ”
Ugh, this was awkward.
Her eyes softened. “I get it. It’s a little weird, but I’m used to other women finding him attractive. I wasn’t always like that, but I know it’s just part of the job. And he locked me down fast after the baby was born. I have no doubts about his commitment to me.”
I had to give her a lot of credit. It had been hard on me over the years when fans had gushed over Peter. Even harder when he lapped up that attention, or worse, hooked up with them. But I guess that was the difference. Harper was in a committed relationship, and I was starting to realize I’d dodged a bullet. I don’t think I’d ever have been as confident in Peter’s love as Harper clearly was with Lincoln’s.
“That’s really wonderful.” I said, rubbing at my chest. My heart twisted in envy. Not because she was married to my celebrity crush, but because they seemed so deliriously happy. It made me more determined than ever to find that kind of love.
Ashlyn turned to me and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “Are you the Trissa that Lexi asked me to find the perfect lingerie for?”
“Yes! I love everything you design,” I gushed. “Your pieces make me so happy. I adore reading the inspirational messages stitched into them.”
“Oh, wow. Thank you. That’s all I ever wanted for this line. For women to get a little pick-me-up if they need it, and remind them they are beautiful at every size. Being a plus-size girl myself, I was tired of not finding pretty bras and underwear that were also supportive. I’m so lucky to get to do what I love,” she said sincerely.
Lexi had been right. I had nothing to worry about. Everyone here was lovely.
We continued chatting for a few more minutes before Lexi leaned over with a strange gleam in her eyes. “How’s the dating scene?”
As I stammered out a reply not sure what to say Ana jumped in. “She’s already found a man.”
I swallowed hard. I’d told Ana in confidence that Killian and I had decided to date. I hadn’t told her it was fake.
“That was fast.” Lexi smiled encouragingly at me. “Tell us more. I love a good love story. How did you meet?”
Now everyone’s eyes were directed at me and the side conversations ceased. It seemed everyone loved dating gossip. I cleared my throat and forced a smile to my face. “We’re uh, just seeing where it goes for now.”
Lexi frowned. “I felt for sure you were going to say it was Killian. I’m surprised Jenn and I didn’t leave with third degree burns. It was so hot between you two.”
I’d learned long ago not to play poker. My facial expressions always gave me away. And Ana didn’t help the situation when her eyes grew so wide you could tell she had the inside scoop.
A happy gasp burst out of Lexi who clearly read our nonverbal cues. “No way. Really? I knew it!”
“What way? What did I miss?” Harper asked, her adorable lightly freckled nose wrinkling in confusion.
At the same time as Ashlyn said, “You don’t have to tell us.”
I froze. Which I quickly realized was all the confirmation Lexi needed.
Our fashion designer friend decided it was a good time to yell out. “I totally called it. Jenn and I had a bet at how long it would take before the two of you realized you were meant for each other. Jenn owes me twenty dollars.”
As the silence around the table grew, my brain jumped to the various excuses I could use while I texted Jacquie and left.
“Way to read the room, Lex,” Jess scoffed affectionately. “My sweet-but-clueless sister-in-law sometimes pushes a little too hard.”
Lexi’s eyes met mine, regret shimmering in their depths. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was a secret.”
“It’s um, it’s okay. I … we decided … ”
Ana put her hand on my arm. “I’m sorry too. I should’ve kept my mouth shut.”
“But you didn’t say anything,” I mumbled.
“My sister Elsie says I can say whole sentences with just my eyes. It’s both a curse and a blessing.” She said it so deadpanned that I couldn’t stop the giggle that slipped out.
“I don’t even know what to say to that.” I shook my head.
Ana hugged me.
“It’s not real anyway. It’s a ruse,” I confessed.
Lexi’s jaw dropped.
Ashlyn snorted.
Heat hit my cheeks hard and fast. I’d thought I’d liked her but now I wasn’t so sure. I was just as surprised as the rest of them when the truth popped out.
Ashlyn exchanged a look with Harper, and finally controlled herself.
My body stiffened with embarrassment, and I wondered if it would be rude to leave.
Ashlyn squirmed in her seat. “I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. Please forgive me. I’m not laughing at you. Truly.”
She reached across the table, put her hand over mine, and squeezed. “It’s just that Dean and I, we started out that way too. And now look at us.” She pointed to her wedding rings.
Now that her reaction made more sense I relaxed a smidge. I believed her. “Trust me, it’s not like that with me and Killian.”
Ashlyn withdrew her hand. “Why do you think that?”
“It’s … because it’s Killian. If he wanted to date me for real, wouldn’t he have said that, oh I don’t know, anytime in the last fifteen years and not come up with this elaborate scheme? He thinks that by saying we’re dating, it’ll get guys to notice me more.”
Harper shrugged. “He’s not wrong. Guys definitely started to pay more attention to me when it came out that Lincoln and I were together.”
Lexi shook her head. “But I was there in his apartment with you. Jenn and I both saw how you looked at each other.”
I waved my hand in dismissal. “What you saw was an old friendship between two childhood best friends.”
Ana snorted. “Nah, girl. If that’s just friendship between you two, I want a friend like that.”
I gaped at her. “When did you … ”
“That day when Hottie McHottie was standing outside your door. It was like the best soap opera ever when those workers showed up, and then Killian. The heat coming from him directed at you was nuclear. And you looked so darn cute together.” The nuclear heat that Ana seemed to remember was me being pissed at Killian.
I’d forgotten she’d been there when Max tried to pick me up.
She pointed at me. “And you never did tell me what was going on or why a team of people were installing cameras at your apartment.”
“Killian wanted me to be safe,” I mumbled.
“Won’t your landlord have something to say about that?” Hazel asked while sneaking a bite of dessert off Jess’s plate.
“No.” I hoped to leave it at that.
“We just got notice that the building has a new owner. Maybe he or she won’t care.” Ana jumped in.
I dropped my gaze to stare at the beautiful mini apple cake I’d been picking at. “Yeah, he’s good with it.”
“When did you talk to him?” Ana, not one to let things go, asked. “Is he nice?”
“That day. And sort of.” I prayed this conversation would shift soon.
“Could you give me his info since the new building manager hasn’t started yet? I have a few things I need looked at.” Ana was so sweetly oblivious to the sweat beading my brow.
“I can reach out to him,” I said quickly.
The girls around the table stared at me with quizzical looks on their faces. What Ana was missing in our conversational subtext they seemed to be picking up.
Ana’s head tilted and she waved her hand in dismissal. “Oh, I don’t want to bother you. I can call … ”
“You can’t,” I ground out. “Killian bought the building.” When we first met I thought it was the wine that gave me loose lips. Now I knew better. Ana was the truth serum.
She blinked at me. “I, oh, what?”
“So there’s nothing between you two and he just happened to buy the apartment building you live in to keep you safe?” Jess’s droll voice cut through the silence. When I looked up, the mirth in her brown eyes told me what her tone didn’t, that she was teasing me. “While rich people do stupid and weird things with their money, that doesn’t seem like Killian,” she continued.
My heart squeezed painfully. How did she know what he was like, and why would it not seem like Killian?
Jess shook her head. “He and I have only been friends.” Either she read my mind, or once again my lack of a poker face betrayed me.
“And don’t forget the wardrobe he purchased for you,” Lexi apparently decided now was the time to drop that truth bomb.
I fidgeted in my seat. “He was just being nice. We’ve known each other since we were kids.”
“Listen guys. The whole point of book club isn’t to make anyone uncomfortable,” Ashlyn said in a firm tone, having the grace to look ashamed as she chastised everyone.
I smiled gratefully at her.
“And it’s also not a time we blow smoke up each other’s asses.” I was beginning to understand that Jess said what she wanted. “We don’t know each other, but maybe that’s what you need. An outside perspective. Don’t be like Hazel here and miss all the signs.”
“What the h-e-double-hockey-sticks, Jess?!”
I tried not to snort-laugh at the cute phrase that I had last used when I was in middle school. Hazel, I’d learned, did not swear, which is why her apparent friendship with Jess was so fascinating.
“Boo, I love you, but we both know it’s true. You and Jareth were so oblivious and so dense. You took way too long to get together.”
The nods around the table told me everyone agreed.
“She’s not wrong.” Hazel sighed. “You’re amazing, Tris. If you like him, fake dating might make things harder between you. And it already sounds like Killian’s making moves to show you how he feels, even if he hasn’t said it.”
Something clicked in my brain. Something I wasn’t sure I was ready to face. Something that might end this carefully-crafted friendship I was desperate to get back with Killian.
When we kissed, it hadn’t felt fake. At least not for me. What if I took that leap and told Killian I was having feelings for him?
Fear and uncertainty clawed at my chest, making it hard to breathe. While I understood the girls’ perspectives, Killian had always been protective over me. What if I told him, and everyone was wrong?
Things were already changing with Peter.
I couldn’t lose Killian, too.