Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Quinn ran a hand over his head and tried to keep his eyes open. He hadn’t slept in forty-eight hours, and his body was starting to feel it. His wolf clawed at his skin, begging to be let out so they could make something bleed, make something feel worse than he did.
His skin itched, and his head pounded. If he didn’t keep moving, keep pacing, he was going to either go wolf or pass out. Neither of those would do him any good right then.
“Quinn. Go for a run and let some of that energy out. You’re not doing any good here pacing and letting your wolf just get more amped up.”
Quinn let out a soft growl at Walker’s words. He didn’t want the Healer to tell him what to do. The other man might have been more dominant than him, but that didn’t mean he was in the right mind-set to deal with it. He didn’t want to go on a run and let his wolf burn off their energy.
He wanted his son to be healthy.
He wanted his son to be able to shift.
Claws ripped from his fingertips, and he let out a growl that shook the windows.
“Out!” Walker yelled, his voice sharp, deadly. “Your wolf is taking control, and I won’t have you hurting my patient.”
Quinn staggered back, his claws receding. His heart pounded, and his jaw dropped. “I would never hurt Jesse.”
Walker’s eyes glowed gold, his wolf coming to the forefront.
“I’m sure you think that, but right now?
I don’t know. I don’t know what you’d do by accident.
You’ve been a loose cannon since you kicked Gina out of here, and now with Jesse taking a turn on top of that?
I just don’t know. Go for a damn run then come back here. ”
“I’ll run with you.”
Quinn turned around on his heel at the sound of his Alpha’s voice. “You have more important things to do than babysit me, Gideon.”
Gideon raised a brow. “First, I’m Alpha.
You don’t get to tell me what to do. Second, the health and safety of my Pack is the most important thing on my list of worries and duties.
So I’m going on a run with you, and we’re going to burn off your energy.
Then you can come back here and sit with your son. ”
Quinn let out a whimper, his wolf taking over. He looked at the closed door that hid the bed where his son slept.
“I don’t know that I can leave him,” he whispered, hating that he voiced his weakness.
Brandon, their Omega, put his hand on Quinn’s shoulder, and Quinn immediately relaxed enough to breathe. The other man had the ability to take emotional stress into himself—even if it cost him to do so. Quinn could feel some of the tension sliding out of his shoulders, his heart, and his soul.
“Go,” Brandon ordered softly. “We will be here by Jesse’s side. If we need you, we’ll howl. You’ll hear us.”
Defeated, Quinn lowered his head then turned toward the front door. He took a deep breath, knowing he was acting like a lunatic. “Thank you for watching my son.”
“He’s family,” Walker said.
With that, he followed Gideon out of the house and toward the clearing where they could shift.
On their way, he could hear people milling about around him.
Their pitying looks slayed him, but he did his best to ignore them.
The others knew Jesse was ill, knew he might not make it through the week, but there was nothing any of them could do.
There was nothing he could do.
When they made it to the clearing, it was just him and Gideon, but for all the world, he felt like he was alone. Some of that was his doing, he knew, but not all. He couldn’t fix it.
They gave Quinn the space he needed, though it went against their nature to leave a wolf in distress. He couldn’t handle too many wolves though. Not right then and maybe not ever. How the hell was he still a lieutenant?
He didn’t deserve the title. Didn’t deserve the responsibility.
He only wanted his son to be healthy, and yet that seemed to be too much to ask. He’d do anything to give Jesse back his chance at life—only he wasn’t sure there was anything he could do, anything he could sacrifice to make that happen.
“We’ll figure out what’s wrong with him,” Gideon said, as if what he ordered would come true.
Quinn couldn’t lose hope, but right then, it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when his little boy was sick and in trouble.
“He can’t shift, Gideon,” he said, his voice breaking. He refused to look weak in front of the other wolves, but this was his Alpha. Gideon already knew everything about him and his strengths.
He still couldn’t believe it, couldn’t get the image of his son screaming in pain out of his mind. The agony on Jesse’s face…
He fell on all fours and threw up, his body shaking.
Gideon ran a hand down Quinn’s back as he tried to catch his breath.
“We’ll figure it out, Quinn. We’re not going to lose him.”
Spent, Quinn sat down and rested his forearms on his knees. “I don’t know what I’ll do if…”
“Stop it. Don’t even say it. We’re going to figure it out. Now, tell me exactly what happened when it first started.”
“I’ve already told you and Walker. Brandon too.” He’d done it without emotion, without looking at them. His eyes had been on Jesse, as if he could will his son to shift and be healthy.
“True, but I want to hear it again. Maybe there’s a detail I’m missing. Maybe there is something we can do to slow the progression so we have more time.”
Time. God, he just wanted more time. Jesse was only five years old. He deserved more time.
He took a deep breath, his wolf calming down at his Alpha’s presence. Maybe he wouldn’t need that run after all. Maybe just getting out of the situation for a few minutes would work.
“After Gina left—”
“After you kicked her out,” Gideon cut in.
Quinn let out a growl. “You know why I did that.”
“Yes. I do. But that doesn’t mean you had to do it that way. I haven’t heard from Kade yet, but I have a feeling I might.”
Quinn closed his eyes and let out a curse. “What happened between me and Gina happened between me and Gina. Not between the Packs. We can’t let everything we’ve tried to do for the strength of our Packs fall apart because we chose not to mate.”
Gideon sighed, and Quinn opened his eyes.
“True, but you were an asshole according to Walker. There are going to be consequences, but we’ll deal with those when the time comes.
The fact that you could have mated at all is a step in the right direction.
You’re the first to feel your mate in years, Quinn.
Add in the fact it’s a cross-Pack potential mating, and it’s a good thing. ”
He swallowed hard and rubbed the spot over his heart. “I can’t talk about her, Gideon.”
His Alpha leveled him a gaze. “You might not have a choice, but we’ll move on for the moment. Tell me what happened after she left.”
“Walker reamed me a new one and left.”
“Good for him.”
“Gideon.”
“Keep going.”
Quinn sighed. “Like I said, Walker left soon after, and I made dinner for me and Jesse. He hadn’t eaten before he’d gone to sleep, so I knew he’d need some protein.”
“You’d just shifted with Gina.”
“Gideon,” he whispered.
“Go on.”
“I woke up Jesse, and we ate.” Quinn ran a hand over his face. “I could tell he was a little more tired than usual, but I thought it was just because I’d woken him up from his nap. He’d also played with Walker that morning. I thought he was just tired.”
“What happened next?”
“We finished eating. Jesse wanted to shift to his wolf because it had been a few days. Normally, that’s not a problem, you know, sometimes we just want to let our wolf roam.
I didn’t want to go to the clearing and deal with people, and if Jesse was still tired, I didn’t want to make it worse.
So instead, I let Jesse try to shift in the living room.
” He paused and met Gideon’s gaze for a moment before turning away from the power in that stare.
“Tried, Gideon. Tried. He couldn’t. He screamed like someone was trying to kill him, and I thought I’d died right with him. ”
Gideon gripped his shoulder. “You got Walker right away and held your son. You did all you could do.”
“It wasn’t enough.” God, he wasn’t enough.
“It’s not your fault, Quinn.”
“We’re not going there.”
“Quinn.”
“Fine. It’s Helena’s fault that Jesse is sick, that he can’t shift.
I get that. But why did Helena leave, Gideon?
Why wasn’t I good enough to keep our bond, huh?
Did you ever think of that? She left us, took half my soul with her.
She hated me enough to risk her own life so she could break our mating bond and then the Pack bonds that held her to the Talons.
She left us, Gideon. She left Jesse. So you sit there and tell me that there wasn’t anything I could do to keep her.
Tell me I didn’t do anything to push her away. ”
He swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He hadn’t spoken of his fears in the five years Helena had been gone. He’d been so scared to do so, but those thoughts had been on a loop for all those years.
Something had happened to force Helena to leave him and Jesse. She hadn’t just woken up one day and decided to run away from it all.
He must have done something to lose her love, her faith, her trust.
He just didn’t know what.
Maybe he’d been too focused on his duties to the Pack.
He’d always been a wolf that put other people’s needs and wants above his own.
He was a dominant wolf, and that meant protecting others no matter the cost. When he was younger and unmated, he’d put his all into finding a way to strengthen the Pack under the former, crueler Alpha.
When Gideon became Alpha, Quinn had risen in the ranks and pledged his life in order to protect what the den would one day become.
He didn’t change that ideal when Jesse came along. He and Helena had mated before Gideon became Alpha. She’d stood by his side for twenty years, through thick and thin, through pain, war, and peace.
Then she’d left.
He must have done something.