Chapter 6 #2
Just one more reason he would never be with Gina.
He closed his eyes and cursed.
Damn. He wouldn’t think about her. He couldn’t. He’d pushed her away for her own good. He might have lied to himself and her about the whole witch thing, but in reality, it was only for her. He wasn’t a good bet. He wasn’t even whole.
If he was honest with himself, he didn’t hate her.
He couldn’t.
His wolf wouldn’t let him.
No, he was scared of her.
Scared of not only the powers he didn’t understand, but scared of what she could become to him.
He closed his eyes, aware his Alpha was staring at him as he got lost in his own head.
If he allowed himself to get close to Gina, allowed himself to bond again, what was to say she wouldn’t just leave him like Helena had?
He’d already been through that once. He wasn’t sure he was strong enough to go through that again.
Plus, with Gina…there was something about her that called to him on a different level than Helena had, and that scared him more than he wanted to admit.
He’d hurt her to make sure she could never hurt him.
He was an asshole and he knew that in order for them to be able to work together again, he’d have to apologize. He just wasn’t sure he deserved her forgiveness.
No, he knew he didn’t deserve anything along those lines.
He’d fucked up with Gina for their own good. That didn’t mean it had to feel good.
He sighed then opened his eyes. “I’m ready to go back,” he said softly.
Gideon studied his face. “I think you are, but first, I need to tell you what will happen next.”
Quinn frowned and tilted his head. “What do you mean? What’s going on?”
His Alpha let out a breath. “Walker isn’t sure what will happen next, and he’s asked for help. I gave him my blessing, Quinn.”
Quinn stood up on shaky legs. “He called Hannah, didn’t he?”
Gideon stood slowly so they were almost eye-to-eye. “Yes, he had to. Hannah is a Healer as well. She might be able to see something Walker can’t. Or maybe the two of them together can work on a different level than they can alone. The fact that she’s also a witch adds another layer to her powers.”
Witch.
Something must have shown on his face because Gideon cursed then threw a punch.
The right side of Quinn’s face burned, and he blinked but refused to touch the place where Gideon’s fist had connected.
“You’re kidding me, right?” Gideon yelled.
“That’s why you threw Gina away? That? I always knew you had some issues with powers outside of being a wolf, but I never knew you were a bigot.
She’s a half witch, you asshole. Half. She’s learning her powers at Hannah’s side.
And even if she was a full witch, she could have been your mate.
That trumps any preconceived notions you have about something you don’t truly understand.
I’ve never been more disappointed in you. Never.”
Quinn lowered his head, his shoulders dropping. His wolf howled, but he didn’t make a sound. He’d disappointed his Alpha, himself, and anyone who had relied on him.
He knew that, yet he’d thrown away his chance because he was goddamn scared.
Scared of what could happen, scared of the unknown, scared of a blue-eyed wolf who haunted him.
“I’m sorry, my Alpha.”
Gideon gripped the back of his neck, and Quinn lowered himself further.
“You don’t need to be sorry to me, Quinn.
You need to apologize to Gina and actually mean it.
You need to get over what Helena did to you.
Yeah, I’m a prick for saying it, but it needs to be said.
She hurt you. She hurt Jesse. She hurt all of us.
But if you don’t learn to break through that pain and find some peace on the other side, you’re no good to us. ”
“I don’t know if I can,” he said honestly.
“Look at me, Quinn.”
Quinn raised his head and looked at his Alpha’s face, though he didn’t meet his eyes. There were only so many dominance games a wolf could play, and this was not one of them. Not today.
“You messed up. You need to fix it. Also, if you ever treat a witch the way you did Gina, there will be consequences you can’t get out of. You understand me?”
Quinn sucked in a breath but nodded. “I do. I screwed up. Bad. I just…” He shook his head. “No excuses. There was more than one reason I said no to Gina, but I used the one I shouldn’t have to be cruel. For that I will apologize the next time I see her.”
Gideon searched his face. “Good, because you’re about to see her real soon.”
Quinn took a step back. “What?”
“She’s coming with Hannah as her aide. In fact, they might already be there. You calm enough to see her? Or do you need that run?”
Quinn blinked then ran a hand over his head. “I’m good. I think I just needed to get out of the house.” And to be near his Alpha, but that was understood.
“Good. Don’t screw up again. I’ll be with you. We’re not leaving you alone with Gina right now. I hope you get that.”
Quinn nodded. It hurt for some reason, yet he knew it was deserved. “I just want Jesse to be healthy. I’ll do anything, Gideon.”
Gideon’s face fell. “I know. Come on. Let’s see what we can do to save your little boy.”
They ran back to Quinn’s place, each in their own head.
He didn’t know what Gideon was thinking about, but Quinn’s thoughts were running the gamut.
Between Jesse, Gideon’s disappointment, and Gina, his mind whirled.
He hadn’t slept in two days, but he was energized on the idea that there would be people here to try to help his son.
That was worth any pain he might have from seeing the woman his wolf wanted but couldn’t have.
The fact that he couldn’t have her because he’d pushed her away was his own damn fault.
When they walked into his house, he scented her. That sweetness filled his nostrils and sent his wolf on edge. He pushed it away though. He didn’t deserve any bliss that came from her presence. Instead, he deserved the torture and pain that it brought.
Three other scents mingled together alongside Gina’s wolf, and his wolf perked.
They were not Talons. No, those were Redwoods.
Gideon hadn’t mentioned more than Gina and Hannah, but he shouldn’t have been surprised at who had come with them.
Where Hannah went, her two mates, Reed and Josh, followed.
She might have been allowed to leave with just one of them on her own, but coming to a different Pack den wouldn’t have allowed either man to stay behind.
He understood that devotion and love, even envied it.
He pushed all of that away though when he stepped into his master bedroom. Jesse had apparently been moved there when he’d been out, but it made sense. There were far too many wolves to fit into Jesse’s room now.
“Thank you for coming,” Quinn said when he walked into the room. He was surprised his voice didn’t shake or turn into a growl, but he knew he needed to keep up his control.
Each person turned toward him, their gazes burning holes into his skin. Jesse lay on the bed, propped up on pillows. He was awake, thank God, so Quinn smiled but didn’t move forward. He needed to get a few things out of the way first.
Walker and Brandon stood off to the right. Walker had his hands out in front of him, stretching, while Brandon had his arms folded over his chest. They didn’t frown at him, but they did seem to check him out to make sure he wasn’t about to go on attack.
He’d deal with that shame later.
To the left, Hannah had her hands in a similar position to Walker’s. Her long brown curls went every which way and looked like she’d been in the wind.
Reed stood behind Hannah, his hands on her hips.
Quinn knew that the touch of a mate could enhance their powers, so he was glad the other man was there.
Josh stood beside Reed. He didn’t touch Hannah but looked ready to do so if needed.
The triad as a whole, it was said, was the strongest unit most had ever heard of when it came to magic.
In fact, each of the Jamenson mating pairs—or triads—seemed to gain a certain amount of power from their bond.
Something he’d never had with Helena.
He quickly shoved that thought to the side and looked at the person on the other side of Josh.
Gina had her hair back in a ponytail, which made her look younger than her years. Her cheekbones stood out, and from the dark circles under her eyes, she looked as though she’d slept as well as he had these past two days.
Your fault, he reminded himself.
From the way she held herself back, he wasn’t sure she had the energy to help Jesse. God knew Quinn didn’t have much left himself. He didn’t want Gina to be hurt because she pushed herself too hard, but he wasn’t about to say that aloud.
He didn’t have the right.
He cleared his throat. “I don’t know what I should be doing.” He looked at Walker then at Hannah, pulling his gaze from Gina’s. “Can you tell me where I should stand? What I should do?”
He hated being helpless, but he’d do anything for Jesse.
“Daddy,” Jesse whispered, and Quinn broke. He quickly knelt on the bed and reached over to grip Jesse’s hand.
“Hey, buddy.”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
Tears burned, and Quinn blinked them away. He would not cry in front of his son. “For what? You did nothing wrong. Hannah and her crew are just here to see if there’s anything they can do. I’m going to be here for you, Jesse. No matter what.”
That he vowed.
“Jesse, honey, you’re doing good,” Hannah said, her voice melodic. “Walker and I are going to try to use that same Healing power he used on you before, but together this time.”
Jesse turned his head toward her slowly, as if it hurt to move.
Quinn’s wolf howled.
“It feels warm when he does that. Will it hurt this time?”
“No, honey, it won’t.”
From the way Hannah said that, Quinn knew there was something else going on.
He knew from talking with Walker that there should have been pain each time Walker tried to Heal Jesse, but he brought that pain into himself.
Hannah, it seemed, would be doing the same.
From the looks on Reed’s and Josh’s faces, the two men would be syphoning what they could off as well so Hannah wouldn’t be hurt.
“I am grateful,” Quinn said, looking at the triad, then his Talons, then Gina. “Thank you for coming here and helping.” Thank you for taking the pain he could not.
“We wouldn’t be anywhere else,” Gina said softly, and Quinn forced himself not to move toward her and beg for forgiveness.
“Jesse, honey, I’m going to let your mind sleep for a bit so we can work,” Hannah said after a moment. “You won’t feel a thing, and before you know it, you’ll be awake.”
His son looked frightened for a moment then nodded. “Daddy? You’ll be here when I wake up?”
“Always.”
Hannah and Walker held out their arms over Jesse, and his little boy’s eyes lowered.
The Redwood Pack Healer let out a breath. “Now that he’s asleep, I’m going to explain what’s going to happen. Okay?”
Quinn nodded. “Anything. Just tell me what I need to do.”
Hannah looked pained for a moment then nodded. “We’re going to try to Heal him, or at least keep the pain from growing worse. The fact that this is happening at a fundamental level due to the bond break means there might not be anything else to do.”
Quinn growled then backed off at the look in Reed’s and Josh’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to hear that.”
Hannah gave him a sad smile. “I don’t want to hear that.
What I do think we can do is create a web of energy to try and fortify what he has.
Meaning we can take away his pain and let him lead a normal life.
It won’t be permanent, but it might give him enough time to find a mate of his own when he grows older. ”
Hope filled him. “That could Heal him?”
Hannah shook her head. “I don’t know. That’s one way. Another way is if you mate again.”
He felt as if he’d been shot. He could feel Gina by his side but refused to look at her.
“You’re saying if I mate again, I could save my son?”
Hannah held up her hand. “I’m saying that it could happen. Your son is sick because Helena performed the worst kind of betrayal imaginable. Walker and I have been talking, and we think that if you create a new bond, there’s a slight possibility it could attach itself to Jesse.”
Quinn turned to Walker. “You knew? And you didn’t say anything?”
Still, he didn’t look at Gina.
“We weren’t sure,” Walker said softly.
“Quinn. We can deal with that later,” Hannah cut in. “First, let me explain what is going to happen now.”
He nodded, forcing his gaze to Hannah while his mind whirled. If he mated with another wolf, he could save his son. He knew he wasn’t ready for a bond, but to save Jesse? He’d do anything.
Yet he didn’t deserve Gina’s bond.
He’d fucked himself over so well he didn’t see a way out of it.
“We’re going to take his pain and Heal him as best we can for now,” Hannah continued.
“But to create the web, Brandon and Gideon will act as conduits for Walker while Reed and Josh do the same for me. We can enhance our magic that way.” She met Quinn’s eyes full on.
“You’ll need to hold Jesse’s hand and create a point of magic yourself.
However, you can’t do it alone. You’ll need a witch to aid you. ”
He swallowed hard then finally looked at Gina. Her eyes were wide, and she looked shell-shocked.
“Tell me what to do, Aunt Hannah,” she said, her voice strong.
He could love her if he’d let himself, if he was willing to go down that path. He honestly couldn’t think of that though. He couldn’t think of himself. This was all for Jesse. He needed to remember that.
Hannah gave her niece a nod. “Sit on the bed next to Quinn and hold his hand. Gideon will put his hand on Quinn’s shoulder while Josh will do the same to yours. We’ll create our circle, our web, and then we will try for the best.”
With that, everyone got into position. Gina’s leg rested against his, and he did his best not to groan.
“Gina…”
She shook her head. “No. Not now. Later. We can talk about everything later. Right now, this is for Jesse. It’s all about Jesse.”
He nodded, swallowing hard. He didn’t deserve a woman like her, and they all knew it. He also didn’t know what the future held, but he’d do whatever he could to protect his son.
He held out his hand, and Gina paused for only a moment before placing hers in his. The heat shocked him, and he sucked in a breath, his wolf raging at him.
“For Jesse,” she whispered.
For Jesse.