Chapter 45 Birth Plan
Birth Plan
LANIE
Chloe arrived in the morning to pack my hospital bag, but found me in early labor and a puddle of tears.
I didn’t want to call it, but the pain continued.
I didn’t want to admit I wanted Baz here and regretted sending him away.
That felt foolish. I didn’t want to have my heart broken while I welcomed this thing I already loved into the world.
“You aren’t okay,” Chloe said. “You’re infuriating.”
“I’m fine.”
“This baby is coming. Where the hell is Baz? Why did he leave you like this?”
“We got into an argument while I was in terrible pain,” I said. “I could have handled it better, but he pissed me off. I sent him away.”
“Lanie, you’re about to give birth to his baby. Why would you send him off?”
“Because I didn’t think he honestly wanted to go with me. Then he went off on this heart wrenching rant about spending all this money on the house and rushing to Chicago and that he loved me. It was ridiculous. He thinks he loves me.”
“He very well could,” Chloe said. “Lanie, he has done nothing but show up—when you allowed him to, which is rarely. Let him love you. What harm does it do? Don’t you love him?”
I shrugged.
She tossed a onesie at me. “Damn it, Lanie! I know you do!”
I groaned through a contraction that brought tears to my eyes. “Maybe. Maybe I do, but it does no good, Chlo. The baby is a boy.”
“So?”
“It’s all he needs—an heir. And he will be free and move on.”
“How do you know that?”
“We signed the agreement.”
“Lanie, he loves you. Why the hell would having a boy matter?”
“It’s his heir—”
“That doesn’t matter. I am telling you that even if Daddy Vibes got my ire earlier, it’s not how I feel. I love you, but sometimes you annoy me. You have this man waiting on you hand a foot—buying you a motherfucking palace, Delanie! Let Daddy Vibes love you!”
“It hurts. He could end it all when I need him most if he’s there. It’s easier for me to see this as an agreement so I don’t get hurt.”
“Lanie, you already will get hurt if something happens. But that is the case no matter what. I want to believe it will work.”
“I am not in a position to just let it go, okay?”
She zipped the bag. “Ta dah. Done.”
I grimaced.
“Okay, that’s it. We’re calling the hospital. We’re going!” Chloe said.
BAZ
Lanie texted the next morning.
LANIE
I’m in labor. Headed to the hospital.
In a panic, I replied.
ME
Do you want me there?
LANIE
I need you. Please come.
She slept it off. We weren’t done. My heart leapt as I raced back across the city to the posh maternity ward. The issue? When I arrived, a surly nurse held me at the front desk, doubting Lanie’s request.
“I swear she told me to come. Her friend is here,” I insisted. “She’s my wife and this is our first child. I need to be there with her.”
“That may be the case, sir, but we need to confirm with your wife.”
The nurse left. My heart stayed in my throat the entire time. Did Lanie change her mind? Was this all a sick, terrible game? The nurse returned.
“She said you can come back,” she said.
Relieved, I raced to Lanie’s room, finding her hooked to a million monitors. Nurses raced around. Chloe gave an inviting smile. Lanie said nothing, looking annoyed.
“I didn’t tell you to come,” Lanie said.
“You literally did,” I held up my phone. “I have it in writing, love.”
Lanie glared at Chloe. “Did you fucking text him?”
“I’m going to step out,” Chloe patted my shoulder. “Come get me when the baby arrives. I will be waiting. Shouldn’t be too long.”
“Chloe, I’m going to kill you!”
“Curse me now but thank me later, bitch,” Chloe said.
I didn’t understand these women, but thought Chloe handed me a mulligan. I would not fuck this chance up.
“I love you, Lanie,” I said. “What do you need?”
“She’s in transition and she needs support and quiet,” a nurse admonished.
“Do you want us to remove him?” Another nurse asked.
I was appalled at that assumption.
“No, no. He’s my husband. We had an…” Lanie’s words faded into a scream. “Oh fuck!’
She never finished her sentence, and the nurses didn’t ask more. I assumed they’d seen worse.
“It feels like my asshole is erupting!” Lanie sobbed.
“Breathe through these contractions,” a nurse said. “Can we get a check here?”
The other nurse nodded.
Lanie sobbed in pain before saying, “I’m gonna puke.”
“Here,” a nurse said, “be useful.”
She handed me a dish, and I was unaware of what the purpose was until Lanie grabbed it, puked, and handed it back.
“Is this normal?” I worried.
“She’s in a great deal of pain in unmedicated labor, so yes,” another woman said. “Cervical check! Lady Osgoode, can we take a peek?”
“Oh, fuck, it hurts!”
“Just breathe,” the woman parted Lanie’s legs.
“Why didn’t you give her anything?” I demanded.
“Your wife spent early labor at home. She presented six centimeters dilated. She elected to avoid the epidural given she was already so far along.”
“Baz, I’m gonna die.”
A nurse took the vomit receptacle, and I brushed Lanie’s hair from her face. “I know you won’t. You’re brave and strong. It will be fine.”
I had no idea if that was true.
“Love, it’s time to push,” a nurse said.
“Oh, fuck. No, no, I’m not ready,” Lanie sobbed. “I cannot.”
“There are no hand-delivered invites from the queen for this,” the newest arriving nurse said. “How do you want to push?”
“I just want it out. Get it out!”
Lanie’s cool demeanor the day before devolved into panic.
“Lanie, you are going to be fine,” I promised.
“All fours,” Lanie said.
“We can try that,” a nurse agreed.
What followed was the most terrifying, nerve-wracking experience of my life—worse than even the most torturous loss at home. The stakes couldn’t have been higher, and it couldn’t have lasted longer.