Chapter 31 MAJA
MAJA
As Von slept, I stared at his face, memorizing everything about this man that captivated me.
I was in love with him, deeply so. From the gray strands of hair mixed in with the thick strands of his jet-black hair that weaved together to form neat plaits, down to his size fourteen feet, everything about Von was fascinating.
And here I was about to step back into a world that threatened everything I had with him. No matter how much I cared for Von, I couldn’t fight the urge to shed blood.
Easing from the bed, I knew he wouldn’t budge. Dinner was served with an extra dose of love, and we’d made love shortly thereafter. He’d be sleeping long enough for me to slip in and out without the slightest inclination that I had even gone anywhere.
I dressed quickly, manipulated the alarm, and slipped out of Von’s house minutes later. The evening was still young for some, but after stalking Jemell’s moves, I knew he’d be on his way home by now.
A quick twenty-minute drive, and another five-minute walk put me on Jemell’s property. Underneath the cloak of darkness provided by the muggy, dense foggy night, I walked through Jemell’s backyard until I reached the patio door that I’d left unlocked the last time I came by here.
The problem with people like Jemell was that he was so confident that no one would ever get the drop on him.
He was so arrogant in his way of moving that he rarely stopped to ensure that the “safe” life he built for himself hadn’t weakened.
He was so confident that his homeboys had his back, that he never thought to have his own back.
Much like a spider crept into plain sight and terrified everything around it, I entered the darkened interior of Jemell’s house and stared blankly at his homeboy seated on the couch watching a replay of last season’s NBA championship game.
He was the only one here tonight, keeping watch supposedly.
Behind the couch, I sat and propped my arms over my knees to wait for my special guest to arrive.
Like clockwork, the sound of the front door opened, and Jemell’s voice followed.
“Bruh, you worry for nothin’,” Jemell said. “Let me worry about Gunner’s bitch ass.”
“This shit ain’t a game, Melly. I can’t keep protectin’ you when you out here doing dumb shit.”
“That ho was talkin’ to twelve. I had to do what I had to do.”
“You shouldn’t be worried about twelve. Gunner didn’t have any evidence on you. You could’ve beat that shit, bruh.”
“And then what? Huh, Jerell? You so fuckin’ intelligent and think you know every fuckin’ thing goin’ on the streets, but you don’t.
You left this life over a decade ago, and shit ain’t the same anymore.
Niggas and bitches will rat for nothin’ now.
Well, I’m not givin’ muhfuckas a chance to flip on me. Not a nigga or a bitch.”
“Yo, whatever, Melly. It’s gon’ come a time I can’t save you, nigga. You don’t think shit through, and you move too fuckin’ funny for me. I’m ya brother, and I do what I can to have yo’ back. But you makin’ that shit hard, mane.”
Jemell chuckled. “Sounds like you gettin’ soft in yo’ old age, Rell. I wouldn’t be surprised if you flipped on me next.”
Jemell must’ve hung up because there was no response from Jerell. From the sounds of it, he slapped hands with his homeboy as the two chuckled.
“I’ma go smoke for a minute,” his homeboy said.
“Bet,” Jemell replied. Seconds later, the front door opened and closed.
I waited a few seconds, then peered over the couch.
I had a view of the front door and Jemell’s back.
He stood in the middle of the living room, looking down at his phone.
Standing, I moved from behind the couch, and I must’ve stood there for a full minute before Jemell turned around and noticed me. He jumped and stared at me.
“You scared me, beautiful,” he said. The salacious grin on his face prickled my skin.
Realizing that he wanted to stall, I took a step towards him.
He reached for his gun, which surprisingly he was quick with.
Mine was already trained on him, though.
His eyes raked over my black-clad body as he positioned his arms out to his sides, with his gun pointed towards the floor. He smirked.
“You the bitch that was at the burger joint. The fuck you doin’ in my shit, shawty?”
Smiling just a tad, I replied, “Hi. I’m May.”
He upped his gun. However, pleased wasn’t the word I felt when my bullet pierced his skull.
Like a heap of potatoes, he hit the floor.
For a second, I stood over him, filing his deceased body into my rolodex of bodies.
Then, I positioned his large body into that of someone being nailed to a firing target.
Complete, I looked into Jemell’s dead eyes and hoped Iyana rested now.
As I turned to walk away, something pierced me through my heart. I fell to the floor as blood seeped from the wound in my chest. My hands shook as blood covered them. Eyes wide, I peered at the man standing over me with his gun trained on my face.
“Bitch!” Jemell spat.
I jumped awake, clutching my chest. In the days since killing Jemell, the same dream replayed continuously. I wasn’t sure if it was because of the media and community attention surrounding Jemell’s murder, or the fact that I unintentionally added weight to Von’s shoulders.
Von’s heavy arm tightened around me. Realizing I’d been dreaming again, I relaxed my breathing and snuggled into his bare chest. He brought the blanket up, covering and cocooning us under the weight of it . His eyes opened and focused on me.
Just the other day, I proudly stood next to him and his family while he was sworn in as the new lieutenant of the PPD. Some criticized the move, calling on an investigation into Von and the precinct because of Jemell’s murder. Others praised the move.
“I made a promise to protect you, baby. You made a promise to trust me. It’s time for us to make a promise to each other.”
“Okay,” I replied. My heart had finally settled, and I meshed my body even closer to Von’s.
“We promise to take what we have to the afterlife.”
Heart full of an emotion that caused it to nearly burst, I echoed, “Promise.”
“We promise to fight for each other, against anyone, whenever, however that may be.”
“Promise.”
“We promise to love each other out loud and behind closed doors.”
“Promise.”
“We promise to give our children the unconditional love we’re willing to give each other.”
By now, tears coated my eyes. “Promise,” I choked out.
Von kissed my lips. “You know I’d kill for you, right.”
“Right,” I offered. I was willing to do the same for him.
“I’d die for you, Maja.”
I would do the same—
“But I don’t want you to die for me,” he interjected my thoughts. “I want you to live for me. I want you to live for us. Will you do that for me?”
Tears rolled down my cheeks that he dashed away with his thumb. For once, I wished I could be the woman Von thought I was. Although I was showing him my authentic self, I hid so much from him.
“There are things about me I wish I could tell you,” I confessed.
“One thing I’ve learned with you, Maja, is that I’m willing to wait however long it takes for you to reveal whatever burdens you. As long as I know you’re never leaving me, and I’m never leaving you, everything else will work itself out.”
That was the problem. If everything worked itself out, there would likely never be a future with me and Von. I was the very thing he fought against. I went against his morals and everything he stood for. He was sleeping with the enemy and wasn’t the least bit aware of such.
***
“Genesis and CJ, cut it out!” Mama fussed. Genesis and CJ were running through the backyard, trampling over Mama’s plants as they played dodgeball. Mama shook her head and went after them.
“I got ‘em, baby.” Poppa came onto the patio with a ball of his own. Heir and I burst out laughing at the look on Mama’s face.
“Oh, no, you don’t! Don’t you hit my babies with that thing!” Mama warned him.
Poppa chuckled. This was a rare day that he was home.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he was out running the streets behind Mama’s back.
However, I knew better. Work had Poppa in a chokehold, and it showed in the gray hair he’d started to form in the last couple of years.
He had a light-hearted smile on his youthful face, and his eyes shined as he smiled at Mama.
Suddenly, Poppa took off, chasing Mama who squealed.
It only took him a minute to catch her, and they tumbled to the grass.
He perched himself on top of her, kissing all over her face.
She laughed and carried on, causing Heir and I to laugh harder.
Disgusted, the boys ran past us and into the house.
For a while, Heir and I observed the interaction between our parents.
Their love was palpable, reaching across the yard and tagging me upside my head.
It was a sunny Saturday afternoon, with not a cloud in the sky.
I came to chill with my family while Von was off searching for his killer.
Jemell’s family was up in arms, citing police corruption.
Von had hell on his hands, and it stemmed from my unwillingness to walk away from an abuser.
I didn’t regret my decision, and Von was great at his job.
He would never learn that I was his killer, and eventually, Jemell’s family would have to accept that he deserved what happened to him.
“Do you think you’re going to have that with Von?” Heir questioned.
Softly smiling, I recalled our promises to each other. Fear wanted me to believe it over the love Von showed me. I had to fight it.
I sighed heavily. “I surely hope so.” Breaking my attention from Mama and Poppa, I glanced at Heir, who had her eyes on them.
“What about you? You can’t tell me that things aren’t deeper between you and Kody.
The way he looks at you and the way you look at him is evidence that something deeper brews between you and him.
Let’s not forget that night at the club.
I thought he was going to hem you up for letting ol’ girl get to you. ”
Heir grimaced. “Don’t bring that ho up. If I ever run into her again, I’m gon’ slap the taste out of her mouth.”
I agreed. “She deserves to have her ass beaten.”
“Exactly!” She rolled her eyes. “Besides that, I have a secret.”
“What?”
“I used to hope for love. Despite how I am now, love used to be something I truly desired.”
“Then let yourself desire it again.”
She chuckled, then sighed. “Would you believe I’m afraid to open myself that way? Trusting someone with my heart seems so terrifying.”
“I can believe it. We both faced some challenging situations, and we have every reason to be apprehensive. Either we’re going to allow the past to continue to shackle us, or we’re going to say fuck it and live our lives to the fullest.”
Heir grinned. “You confirmed something I’ve been thinking about. I guess that’s my sign to go for it.”
Taking her hand in mine, I said, “Definitely. And, in the event anything happens, I don’t mind helping you dispose of Kody’s body.”
We fell out laughing. If only Heir knew that I was dead-ass serious.