Chapter 25
Cherry
Aweek later, Cherry drifted downstairs to make a coffee. As she did most days, she would sit on the patio in the morning sunshine, letting the birds’ early twittering soothe her, meditate on squirrels scuttling across the grass and scaling trees as the caffeine filtered in.
But something was already different.
Sean was still at home.
‘Oh, hey. Morning.’ Cherry rubbed her eyes, her nipples peaking at the sight of her husband drinking coffee all casual and perky like they hadn’t been up until the wee hours together.
The whole separate rooms thing was a joke, seeing as how much time he spent in hers and how much she thought of him when he left.
Whether or not staying married was the right thing to do, she was losing sight of anything else but Sean.
‘The clocks didn’t go back, did they?’ she asked.
He eyed her over his coffee cup. ‘Nah, I took the day off work. Wanted to fit in a run – and it’s quieter than the weekend. Bonus is seeing you, of course. I missed you the past four hours.’
And the bonus for her was seeing him. ‘Me, too. You want some company?’ If Sean could have a day off work, she could too. That was the benefit of being her own boss.
He put down his cup. ‘Seriously? You want to come for a run?’
‘That wouldn’t be too awful, would it? I’d like to get into an exercise habit again since I’ve left hotel gyms behind. And spend some time with my husband? Plus, you need a PT, right?’
Sean came to her, and she saw in the softness of his expression how much this meant to him.
‘It wouldn’t be awful at all, Cher. And I’d love to spend more time with you.
I’m planning on running up to Inchfallon Falls today.
It’s a beautiful waterfall with a swimmable pool.
Much like these.’ He motioned around his eyes.
‘Ha! I stand by what I said in New York.’ She pulled in close to him, rose up on her tiptoes and kissed him. ‘Skinny dipping it is.’
Sean gave a throaty chuckle. ‘Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Paradise.’
‘Guide’s honour, I won’t. Now, show me where your bike is.’ She playfully pinched his bum, and he extricated himself from her.
‘Bike? You didn’t say you were a lazy PT!’
‘It’s motivational for you. I’ll ride, and you run alongside me.’
‘Do you want a megaphone to bark orders at me?’
‘If you’ve got one, then sure.’
‘I don’t. If I thought you’d believe me, I’d tell you I don’t have a bike either.’
‘This beats a hotel treadmill any day,’ Cherry cycled at a moderate starting pace along the shoreline road. The morning sunshine sparkled across the still blue waters of the sound.
‘Aye. We’re lucky.’ Sean jogged alongside the bike.
‘My dad brought me running here as a kid. We’d do wee jogs on the beach and mini-sprints, and he’d tell us we had to build our stamina for the three-legged race at school sports day.
It’s bizarre that a man who ran a distillery was fighting fit, until he wasn’t, and that some of the old soaks he knew are still cutting about the place. Doesn’t make sense.’
‘No, it doesn’t.’ Cherry could relate. ‘My dad seemed in fine health, and then the heart attack hit. I’ll never forget getting home from school, excited to show him my project on the history of poker, only to see the ambulance outside the house.
He’d been climbing mountains on the weekend, so I assumed it was the old bloke next door.
Then I saw my mum on her knees in the hallway. ..’
Whenever Cherry recalled this memory, she so often focused on her own grief, but today, for some reason, her mum came into sharp focus.
Pam always said she didn’t have much in the world but what she had, she loved ferociously.
And that day, one of those things was snatched from her forever.
She had never dated again, her existence completely shaped by grief of losing the love of her life.
‘Shit, Cherry. I’m sorry.’ Sean placed a hand on her shoulder, briefly, until the motion of the bike parted them.
‘It’s okay. It was a long time ago now. Shall we talk later and concentrate on the running for now? Focus on your breathing and…um…keeping up the good work.’
It was strained, but Sean laughed. ‘Amazing pep talk, Coach.’
‘Sorry. Think how tight your buns are going to be after this.’
‘Tight buns?’ More laughter punctuated his sharp breaths. ‘You’ve been living in the States for too long.’
‘What I meant was a toned arse.’’
‘You do know I’m not cycling 100 miles for a toned arse.’
‘Of course, but it’s a good incidental benefit. You know, what you’re doing is amazing, Sean.’
He eyed her askance, amusement on his face. Cherry did her best to look at him whilst cycling at a similar pace and not falling off the bike.
‘I know you think I’m being daft,’ she said, ‘but your motivation is inspiring. The way you’re pushing yourself on so other people don’t suffer like your dad, how you get up every single day and keeping going, your mind on that goal…
It’s incredible. If there were more men like you in the world, it would be a better place. ’
She wasn’t sure if the pained expression on Sean’s face was at her words, concern about her falling off the bike or something else.
‘Thanks, that means a lot.’
Cherry prepared to pedal harder, perhaps to get to their destination and the turning point she was about to instigate.
‘I’m going to cycle up ahead.’ She pointed to the road in front of them.
‘I want you to sprint to me. Then when you reach me, you can moderate the pace, and I’ll cycle on again and we repeat the process. ’
Keeping his eyes on the road, Sean hit back. ‘Sounds like a metaphor for our marriage.’
It was hard not to laugh. ‘Don’t talk, sweetheart. Save your breath for the sprint.’ She blew another air kiss his way and focused on the road. His observation was both amusing and incisive. And a little heartbreaking. It was time to try and mend that heart today.
The main road meandered along the coastline for as far as the eye could see.
But about half a mile after they had passed the distillery, Sean told Cherry to turn right.
The incline was steeper; there were fewer dips, and mostly they were travelling uphill.
She put all her focus into the cycling and found her thighs burning as they headed towards the thicket of trees in the distance.
Finally, the incline plateaued, the road became more of a dirt track and the warming sunshine disappeared as the trees merged into a canopy overhead.
The quiet stillness of August fields segued into gushing water and the low rush of wind through summer foliage. Moments later, they reached a clearing where a waterfall, about twelve feet high, tumbled into a wide blue pool below.
‘Welcome to Inchfallon Falls.’ Sean’s voice vibrated low like the hum of nature around them. ‘My dad named a whisky after it, but it’s stayed a bit of a local secret. All it would take is for someone to film a Netflix series here and it’ll never be the same.’
‘It’s stunning.’ Cherry straddled the bike, mesmerised by the babbling of the water below and the rustling of the leaves. The air was cooler under the shade of the trees, but there was a gap where the sun shone through at the right angle to hit the pool and brighten the waters.
‘I love it here.’ As if drawn by memories, Sean drifted to the rocks overlooking the pool, and Cherry followed. ‘We spent hours splashing around here as kids. It must have been a health and safety nightmare, but Mum and Dad never complained.’
‘We should’ve brought a picnic,’ said Cherry. ‘Made a day of it.’
‘I’ve got some Irn-Bru in my backpack. Thirsty?’
She narrowed her eyes. ‘You’re training for an endurance race. You should be drinking water and eating bananas.’
‘Aye, I do that, too. C’mon, let’s sit.’
They found a couple of flattish rocks above the water, laid the bike down, and Cherry took Sean’s lead in letting her feet dangle over the edge. The water was refreshing without being bitingly cold.
‘How deep is it?’ she asked.
‘Depends. Maybe neck height for you today. The warm weather means there’s less water than usual.’
‘Did you learn to swim here?’
‘Nope. In the sea.’
‘Have you ever had sex here?’
‘Ha! Just as I thought your questions were getting boring. In the pool or under the waterfall?’
‘Either.’
‘Neither. And I’m saying no more than that.’
‘A few cheeky wee snogs?’
‘Aye, maybe a few of those. This is the Kintyre equivalent of a drive-in movie for me. You park up and watch the waterfall.’
‘I don’t understand how it’s not rammed full of people. Where is everyone?’
‘No idea. Folk do come here, but it’s a bit off the beaten track. The Butler family were, and still are, frequent visitors. Maybe other families aren’t as hardy as us.’
‘One day, we could come here,’ she said. ‘With…our kids?’
Sean eyes found hers, and she saw such a vulnerable mix of confusion and hope there that it stalled her heart. ‘Our kids? Cherry?’
Cherry blinked back the fiery bite of tears, and focused on the sunlight twinkling on the water.
She had planned to say things today – things about making a go of it with Sean – but not those specific words.
They must be her subconscious talking. Like an iceberg cracking apart, things were shifting under the surface, Sean’s kindness and patience affording her the confidence to believe.
‘I know I need to be more positive, Sean. You have no idea how hard this is for me, but you believe in us, and I want to believe, too. You deserve that. We deserve that.’