Chapter 25 #2
‘Fuck. That means so much, Cher.’ He took her hand, and she was so glad she’d got to this point.
‘I’ve mostly hidden it,’ he said, ‘but this has been a journey for me too. I have thought about things. I’m not being some na?ve idiot who hasn’t considered the way it might go.
But, as I said before, no one knows what’s in the future, good or bad.
My dad didn’t. My mum didn’t when she married him.
It’s all unknown. I might… Fuck, I hate even saying this, because deep down I’m scared it might make you run, but it’s important – what if I get it, too? ’
‘What? MND?’ She hadn’t even considered he might be worried about this. It was a real oversight on her part that someone as insightful as Sean wouldn’t be acutely aware of his own mortality after painfully watching his father’s demise.
‘Aye.’
‘Is it hereditary?’
‘Sometimes. In our family, there isn’t any history of it, but that doesn’t stop me wondering. I don’t talk about it, though, ’cause no point worrying yourself stupid over something you can’t control.’
‘I never even thought, Sean. I’m sorry. I’m so wrapped up in myself sometimes. Are there things you can do to minimise the risk?’
‘Aye, I eat healthy-ish, exercise a lot.’
‘You could be healthier. Cut out the Irn-Bru, for one.’ It was a hypothetical, but now she knew she wanted their marriage to work, the thought of losing Sean as her mother had lost her husband became a more frightening possibility.
‘Och, a man’s allowed one vice, right? Which reminds me…’ Sean reached into his bag, retrieved and cracked open a can of the soft drink.
‘Depends how many cans a week that vice is.’
‘Cherry Paradise, are you worried about me?’ He held out the drink to her.
She took it, swigged and handed it back. ‘I am, actually, Sean.’ With her other hand, she brushed over his. Her feelings for him grew so fast, like the emerald moss on the rocks, but she could slip and fall at any time, and that still terrified her.
‘Anyway, this pool... Cold, is it?’
She stood up and glanced down at a silent Sean. He was staring up at her, blinking hard, suggesting surprise at her honesty and worry about her breaking away so soon.
‘It can be,’ he said. Was he talking about something other than the pool? ‘But the strong survive.’
‘Let’s go then.’ Cherry toed off her trainers and slipped out of her t-shirt and shorts. She lowered herself onto the edge of the pool in only her white cotton pants and bra – a choice that would render them very transparent if anyone else appeared.
‘It’s safe to go in, right?’
She saw those green eyes shimmering softly, melding with the cool forest light. And fair play to him – his eyes were on her face, not anywhere else.
‘It’s safe,’ he said. ‘But I’ve no towels, so once you’re wet, you’re wet.’
‘Ah, that’s fine. I’m not afraid of being wet.’ Then, as the double meaning of what she’d said hit her, Cherry was sliding off the rock and down into the bracing cool of the waters below.
Taking the plunge into the unknown and acclimatising to the feeling. Of freezing cold water.
She rose out of the pool, her laughter and breath coming in rapid bursts.
‘Oh my God.’ Finding her feet, she looked up to where a once-again-joyful Sean was standing on the rocks above.
‘Bit fresh, eh?’ He beamed that heart-stopping smile of his.
‘Fresh, but also amazing.’ She spun around and took in the dense greenery of ferns, rock foils and sorrel that surrounded the pool.
Woodland birds chattered in the trees. How was this Scotland?
Flipping onto her back, she let herself be mesmerised by the bright cerulean sky through the trees. This summer was one in a million.
‘You coming in?’ Her voice echoed off the rocks.
‘I’ll finish my juice, then I’ll be right with you.’
‘Strip and get in, Butler! You can finish your diabetes water afterwards.’
‘Strip, eh?’ This invitation was clearly like encouraging a fish to swim.
‘Well, you know, within the bounds of what’s decent. Or indecent. I don’t mind.
Sean was close enough for Cherry to see his smirk before his face was obscured by his t-shirt. And there was that body. The ladder of abdominal muscles that you could climb to the sun on. Holy moly! She could never get enough of those.
He swigged the Irn-Bru, well aware he was being ogled.
But it was delight, not arrogance, that suffused his movements.
Then, in an unexpected move, he lifted the drink above his head, closed his eyes and tipped the can back, letting the bright orange liquid cascade down his face.
He licked some of it away, the remaining rivulets rolling down onto his chest.
Cherry’s laughter bounced off the rocks, and she was about to clap and whoop him on when a sharp voice split the air.
‘Sean Butler, what on earth are you doing?’
Sean spun around as two women – one with bobbed grey hair, the other with bouncing curls of the same colour – came into view, a small black Cocker Spaniel pulling at the leash wrapped around the former’s hand.
‘Oh, hullo, Val…Gloria.’ He fumbled for his t-shirt. ‘Sorry, I didn’t know you walked your dog around here.’
Cherry tried to stifle her laughter, watching Sean hug the t-shirt to his chest and prepare to be reprimanded.
Gloria remained quiet while Val spoke, but Cherry could swear there was a smile drawing her lips upwards.
‘Sean, you’re pouring Irn-Bru over rocks that have stood here for hundreds of years, that people like to come and sit on expecting they will not leave with a sticky bottom.
Not to mention you’re nearly naked in a public place.
I appreciate you’re grieving, but what do you think your father would say to this? ’
To give him his dues, a shell-shocked Sean looked the woman dead in the eye as he spoke. ‘I dunno. Probably tell me to calm down, as usual.’ He shrugged and then, in trademark Sean-style, added, ‘And spank my sticky bottom?’
Val was struggling not to laugh, but she shook her head disapprovingly. ‘I can’t imagine he ever stood up here and poured Irn-Bru over his head.’
‘Um…’ Sean’s mouth tightened, possibly at the image of his dad doing this. ‘No, he never mentioned it.’
‘Having known your father most of my life, I think he’d say two things here. One: what are you doing wasting a good can of Irn-Bru? And two: make sure you take your litter home with you.’ Val raised her eyebrows as if waiting for agreement.
Sean’s brow creased in puzzlement, evidently not sure whether he was being ribbed or not. ‘Aye, right, okay, Val. Both fair points.’
‘Glad we agree… Oh, hello!’ Suddenly bored with Sean, Val waved at Cherry. ‘I didn’t see you down there. You must be the new wife?’
‘Yes, that’s me.’ Cherry waved back. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he takes his litter home.’
Sean narrowed his eyes, as if she were a co-conspirator with the women, but he was half smiling, too.
‘Lovely. We’ll leave you to it. I expect you’ll need to get in the water and wash all that juice off.’ Val examined Sean up and down before turning to Cherry again and winking. ‘We won’t be back this way today. Enjoy married life, won’t you? I’m sure Jimmy would approve.’
‘Aye, thanks, Val. See you, Gloria.’ Turning away from the women, Sean bent over, bracing his hands on his knees, and Cherry couldn’t tell whether he was laughing or catching his breath. There was a mixture of amusement, relief and disbelief on his face.
When the dog walkers were out of sight, she swam backwards to make space for him in the water. ‘Come on in,’ she said. ‘Wash that beamer off your face and calm doon.’