Chapter 28 Parker
I knew Mackenzie and I had agreed not to kiss again, but it was all I could think about for the next few days. I wondered if Coach Foster could read minds, because he pulled me aside after our practice on Thursday and I prepared for the worst.
“Nice work today, Twelve.”
It took a second for his words to register. “What?”
I must not have heard him correctly. I felt like I’d been playing well below my level this week. Maybe because I’d spent too much time focusing on how the rest of the team was doing, and not enough on my own performance.
“You made some nice plays out there,” Foster said.
I really couldn’t work this guy out. Maybe I was dreaming. Though if I was, I’d rather dream up a world where Mackenzie hadn’t skipped training with me for the third time in a row that morning. Things wouldn’t be awkward between us. And we certainly wouldn’t be trying to just be friends.
She was coming off the ice right then and I couldn’t focus on what else Coach Foster was saying. Mackenzie pulled her helmet from her head, sweat making her hair stick to her face. She looked exhausted from a hard practice, and yet my heart only beat harder at the sight of her.
I’d noticed a big improvement in her game this week.
In fact, the whole team had impressed me.
Our sessions seemed more intense, with players working harder than ever.
And Mackenzie was benefiting. Our teammates were putting far more heat on their shots, shouting words of support and encouragement, and listening to her instructions on defense without hesitation.
Maybe team bonding was actually working.
She looked over and caught me watching. She didn’t smile, but she didn’t frown either.
When our eyes met, I felt desire burning low in my gut.
But there was also another, more powerful sensation.
A stupidly warm feeling bubbling up in my chest. One that made me want to do something—anything—to make her smile.
“Are you listening, Twelve?”
My eyes shot back to Coach Foster, who was glancing between Mackenzie and me with suspicion.
“You don’t need a reminder to stay away from my daughter, do you?”
I most definitely did, but I quickly shook my head. “Don’t worry, Coach. She’d rather punch me again than come near me.”
“Again?”
“Uh… it was just a misunderstanding.”
“What kind of misunderstanding?” he growled.
Shit. Shit. Shit. He looked like he wanted to kill me. Upside: if I survived, Coach Foster would go to prison, and Mackenzie and I could live happily ever after. Downside: I might end up dead.
“Parker returned my keys to me in the parking lot,” Mackenzie said, appearing beside us. “It was dark. I got scared and punched him. No big deal.”
That was easy enough for her to say. She wasn’t the one on the receiving end. Still, I was relieved she’d explained so I didn’t have to.
Foster rubbed the bridge of his nose like we’d both just aged him ten years. “Why didn’t I know about this?”
Mackenzie stiffened. “You don’t tell me everything, Dad.”
She turned and walked away before he could reply. It was obvious Mackenzie was referring to the secret she’d discovered about her mom, but judging by the confused look on her dad’s face, he clearly had no idea. I made a quick exit before his confusion turned to frustration and he took it out on me.
I caught up to Mackenzie before she reached the girls’ locker room.
“Hey,” I said, stopping beside her. “Thanks for getting me out of that.”
She turned to look at me. If I was a dog, I was pretty sure my tail would have been wagging simply because she glanced my way.
“It’s what friends do, right?”
Friends. I preferred it when she hated my guts. I’d spent years watching Grayson in the friend zone with Paige, and I’d do just about anything to avoid that hellhole. I’d take a warzone with Mackenzie over the friendzone any day.
“Right,” I grunted. “How was your run this morning?”
Despite the fact she’d been finding reasons to train without me, she hadn’t stopped putting in extra sessions.
At first, she’d insisted she could go to the weights room alone.
Then she set up a session for herself with Seth and Owen.
Today, it had been a run. I knew exactly why she was doing it, but I hated it all the same.
“Uh, yeah, it went well.” She glanced away, watching as some of our teammates passed us.
It was for the best if we didn’t spend time together.
I’d merely looked in her direction tonight and her dad had started freaking out.
Even now, I probably shouldn’t be talking to her, but I couldn’t seem to resist.
“Things don’t have to be weird between us,” I told her. “You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Because I think training together is important. You still want to prove your dad wrong, don’t you?”
“Of course I do.” Finally, she looked at me again.
Mackenzie really had improved thanks to our work together. I didn’t want to let a little awkwardness jeopardize her chances of staying on the team. And while it was a little selfish, I was also looking for any reason I could to spend time with her.
“So, we’ll meet at the rink as usual tomorrow morning?”
She hesitated.
“I promise I won’t try to kiss you again.”
That pulled a gentle smile from her lips. “Okay. Tomorrow morning.”
I was distracted as her dad walked into view further down the corridor. He was deep in conversation with his assistant coach, so he didn’t see us. He soon disappeared around a corner, but I could feel Mackenzie tense at my side.
“What you said to your dad before,” I started cautiously. “Have you talked to him about your mom yet?”
“No,” she murmured, looking at the floor. “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around it. I don’t even know what I’d say.”
“Dumping the box on his desk and asking, ‘what the hell is this?’ could be a good place to start.”
“Yeah, probably.” Her shoulders sagged. “It’s hard. I’m still on probation. He’s barely talking to me.”
“I know.”
“I’m not sure I even want to hear what he has to say,” she continued, more firmly this time.
“And I’m a little scared of how I might react.
” She shook her head, almost as though she was disappointed in herself.
“I don’t know. I’ll talk to him eventually.
I just want to focus on getting ready for the next game. ”
“I get it. But if you need anyone to talk to…”
Her mouth started to curve. “You want me to spill all my deep dark feelings to you?”
I moved closer, our proximity causing my chest to thump. “That’s what friends do, right?”
“Right.” She nodded, but I could have sworn her smile faltered slightly.
She started to turn away, but before she could disappear inside the girls’ locker room, I said, “I’m organizing a team party on Saturday night. It’s at Cullen’s family lake house.”
“Sounds fun,” she replied. “For you guys, at least. There’s no way my dad will let me go.”
“Then don’t tell him.”
“You’re a bad influence, you know that?”
“Are you only just figuring that out now?” I grinned at her before walking away.
My bravado only lasted until she was out of sight, and then I found myself slumping with a sense of defeat. Why couldn’t I just forget we’d kissed and move on like I had every other time I’d kissed a girl? Why was it so hard to stay away from her?
I didn’t do girlfriends or dates or commitment; I never had.
And yet, it bothered me that those things weren’t an option for us.
I should probably be grateful. Even if we could be together, Mackenzie and I would likely kill each other.
Still, I couldn’t ignore the small voice deep inside that thought maybe we’d be perfect together.
* * *
“I talked to my stepmom.” Mackenzie took a seat beside me near the end of our art class on Friday. Her arm brushed against me as she did, and I tried my best to ignore the trail of warmth it left behind.
We’d trained together before school today for the first time that week, but she’d convinced Owen to come along too.
I’d been annoyed at first. I didn’t like third wheels, especially when I felt like the third.
And it wasn’t as though Mackenzie and I needed supervising.
Then again, I was sure she’d returned a few of my heated looks, so maybe it was a good thing Owen had been there.
“I told her I’m having a sleepover at Jaz’s house tomorrow,” Mackenzie continued. “And she was only too happy to say yes. So, I’m in for the team party.”
“That’s great.” I struggled to hide the excitement in my voice.
“But just a heads up,” she continued. “Jaz fully intends to gatecrash. She claims I need a chaperone with all you boys around.”
“Sure, Jaz is more than welcome.”
She nodded at my tablet. “How’s your project coming along?”
“Good.” Although I was happy to change the subject, I pulled my tablet away so she couldn’t see the screen. “But it’s not finished yet.”
“Are you…” Mackenzie tilted her head, her eyes dancing with amusement. “Are you, Parker Darling, hockey superstar, too shy to show me your work?”
My attempt to hide it from her hadn’t been subtle, and, if anything, it had only made her more intrigued. There was no way I was letting her near it until it was finished though—perhaps not even then.
“Totally shy,” I replied. “Then again, I probably should have thought twice before deciding to paint myself naked.”
“You’re joking?”
“Nope.” I jumped from my seat. “But I’m glad you’ve finally realized you’re in the presence of greatness. Hockey superstar; I liked the sound of that.”
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“To see what Mr. Green thinks.”
“You’re happy to show him your naked self-portrait?”
“It’s art, Mackenzie. He can see beyond my chiseled abs.”
Her gaze instinctively dipped to my stomach, but she quicky returned her attention to her desk. I was smiling to myself as I made my way to the back of the room and knocked on the door to Mr. Green’s paint-closet office.
I poked my head into the room. “Mr. Green, do you have a sec?”
“Sure.” He gestured for me to enter, so I eased myself into the tiny space and sat in the chair across from him. I felt far more nervous than I’d expected.
“What can I help you with, Parker?”
“Uh, I wanted to run my project past you. I’ve made a few changes since last time.”
“Excellent.” He held out his hands, and I passed him my tablet.
I wasn’t nervous because there was a naked drawn selfie on the page.
No, that might have almost been easier. I was nervous because, for the first time, my art actually felt inspired by something—by someone.
And I worried I hadn’t done them justice.
That I was too much of an idiot to ever capture something that mattered and illustrate it in a way that could mean something.
Mr. Green was silent as he looked over my work, and my fingers dug into the edge of my seat as I waited.
“So, what do you think?” I’d never been very patient.
Mr. Green was frowning at my tablet but then he lifted his eyes to mine. “You’ve chosen a new main character for your comic. No more hockey-playing superhero?”
His brow was creased, and he looked as though he had many more questions to ask. As I suspected, he thought it was stupid. But training with Mackenzie had sparked an idea, and I hadn’t been able to let it go.
“Yeah.” I swallowed, trying to sound confident. It was probably the dumbest thing he’d ever seen. “I’ve taken it in a different direction. I’ve only done the first couple of pages, but I’ve already mapped out the rest of the story.”
Mr. Green shook his head at me but was still smiling.
“It’s definitely original, and it shows some promise.
The panels flow nicely, the line work is clean, and I love how expressive the characters are.
I think with a few tweaks it could be really strong.
Can you tell me a bit more about your inspiration? What message are you trying to convey?”
For once, I knew exactly what I wanted to say with my art, but explaining my newly discovered deep thoughts to my teacher wasn’t so easy.
“I guess I just felt like maybe you don’t have to be a superhero to inspire and help people.
Anyone can do that. And sometimes it’s the people who are always underestimated that surprise you the most.” I shook my head.
“Sorry, I’m not sure if that makes any sense. ”
“No, it does,” Mr. Green nodded, his eyes still drifting over my illustrations. “I like it. You’re demonstrating how people can be more than meets the eye.”
“Yeah, something like that,” I murmured. I was used to receiving a lot of praise when it came to hockey, but somehow getting a compliment from Mr. Green about my art hit differently.
He handed the tablet back to me. “I look forward to seeing more.”
“You do?” I did little to hide my surprise and I quickly cleared my throat. “I mean, great, thanks.”
“And I’d like you to try and complete it by next Friday. I’d love to include it in the exhibition we’re displaying at the Ransom Community Center.”
“Really?”
“Yes, I think it would be a great addition.”
The bell rang as I left his office, and I was still reeling as I packed up my things.
“So, Mr. Green liked your naked selfie?” Mackenzie asked as we left the room.
“Yeah,” I replied. “I think he did.”
“Wait, you didn’t actually draw yourself naked, did you?”
“I guess you’ll find out when it’s finished.”
I started off down the hallway and was surprised when Mackenzie stayed by my side. She was supposed to be avoiding me.
“You’re walking with me,” I pointed out.
“We’re headed in the same direction.”
“You also talked to me in class.”
“I figured I should tell you I can come to the party this weekend.”
“I thought you were trying to stay away from me.”
“It’s harder than you think,” she murmured.
We reached her locker, and she pulled it open. I leaned against the locker next to hers.
“I like it when you walk with me and talk to me,” I said. “I like it when you’re kissing me too.”
She pushed her locker shut. “You said I was out of your system.”
“I said I wouldn’t try to kiss you again. I never said I didn’t want to.”
“You don’t know how to give up, do you?”
“No, I don’t,” I agreed. “I’ve never walked away from something I want.
You can keep pretending there’s nothing between us; that we’re just friends.
But just so you know, I’m not going to act like being near you doesn’t drive me crazy; I’m not going to pretend that I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.
I know we agreed it shouldn’t happen again.
But that doesn’t mean I’m going to ignore what I’m feeling. ”
“It’s easier when you pretend,” she said in a quiet voice.
“It’s not easier for me.”
She swallowed, and her green eyes looked hopelessly up at me. “I miss hating you.”
“Yeah, I miss it too.”