Chapter 29 Mackenzie
Why was it when one part of your life started to go well, another lost its way entirely?
It felt like my extra hockey practices were beginning to pay off.
My fitness and my game were improving quickly, I was growing in confidence, and I was feeling more like a valuable part of the team.
It was all thanks to Parker. But he was also part of the problem.
We were still training together, but now we’d agreed to be just friends, I had to constantly convince myself I was okay with that. But the pull toward him was undeniable.
He was the main reason I was questioning my sanity when I arrived at the lake house for the team party on Saturday night.
The old wooden house was tucked away in a forest of pine trees outside town.
Jaz parked her car with the others on the long driveway, and we followed a gravel path flanked by softly lit torches around to the back of the house.
A light dusting of snow crunched underfoot, and there was a welcome glow coming from the bonfire that had been built out back.
We were running a little late and most of the team was already here. My gaze immediately went to Parker, who was standing on the far side of the flames. He glanced up at me as I approached and a smile slowly pulled at his lips, making my traitorous heart flutter.
Yeah, I probably should’ve stayed home.
“We’re completely outnumbered,” Jaz said as we slowly made our way to join everyone. “It’s a sausage fest.”
“What did you expect?” I laughed. “This is a boys’ hockey team party.”
“I know, I know. I just figured I wouldn’t be the only girl to invite myself.”
“I’m glad you did.”
“Yeah, me too. I don’t know how you’ve managed to survive on your own this long.” She grinned. “How is the team bonding going?”
“Good, I think.” I was certainly feeling closer to my teammates.
Some of them had made an effort to sit with me in classes we shared or invited me to their table in the cafeteria.
I’d even been roped into a pickup game of basketball one lunch period.
It was nice to finally feel accepted, but it also made the prospect of being kicked off the team harder.
“Foster!” Seth called as we neared the fire. A few of the other guys cheered my arrival too and beckoned us to find a seat.
“Certainly seems like it’s working,” Jaz said as she watched the guys all laughing and joking around the bonfire.
My eyes were drawn back to Parker, who was watching me. His smile always hinted at trouble, but tonight it seemed to also hold a promise: we weren’t done. Not by a long shot.
“And you and Parker…”
I turned back to Jaz. “Me and Parker, what?”
She twisted her lips as she looked between the two of us. “What’s happening with you guys?”
“Nothing. We’re just friends.”
“Just friends?”
“Yep.”
“I thought you hated him.”
“I do. I mean, I did.”
“You did?” She was eyeing me closely. “What happened?”
“Nothing,” I said as innocently as I could. “He’s just a bit like a fungus. Irritating, but when you can’t get rid of him, he grows on you.”
Jaz burst out laughing. “Yeah, I can see that.”
“Punch?” Seth asked, coming over to us with a red cup in each hand.
I happily took one, but Jaz looked skeptical. “Is this team-bonding punch or Seth on summer break punch? Because I’m driving.”
“I wish it was Seth on summer break punch, but unfortunately it is a team-bonding night.”
“Sounds great,” she said. “Thanks, Seth.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Have we missed anything?” I asked. “I know we’re a little late.”
“Well, we already did the hair braiding and piggyback races.”
“Bummer.” I laughed. “Please tell me I didn’t miss out on the trust falls.”
“No.” Seth looked deadly serious. “I think they’re coming later.”
I glanced back at Parker and found myself wondering, would he catch me if I fell? But I didn’t have to question it. I knew he would. When Jaz asked what had happened to make me stop hating Parker, I’d avoided answering because I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t pin it to any one moment.
Maybe it was sometime during our endless hours of training, or when he’d defended me during the game against the Chargers.
Maybe when he’d climbed the wall of my house just because I hadn’t said goodbye and kissed me in my closet as though he’d been waiting years for that very moment.
Maybe it had happened further back than that, without me even realizing it, when he’d shown such blind faith in my ability as a hockey player that he smuggled me into his team’s tryouts, knowing full well it might completely ruin his reputation with my dad.
Whenever it was, I hadn’t just stopped hating him.
Somewhere along the line, I’d gone and decided to trust him.
“Parker seems pretty intent on getting you guys back to winning ways,” Jaz said.
“Parker doesn’t know how to lose,” Seth replied. “Winning is in his DNA. Plus, he really hates the Saints.”
“Well, hopefully all this team bonding works.”
“I think it will.” Seth started to grin. “And if it doesn’t, I can happily walk away from the experience knowing at least I got a friendship bracelet from the great Mackenzie Foster.”
I smiled. “So, it wasn’t all for nothing, then.”
“Definitely not.”
The music suddenly stopped, and Parker whistled, drawing everyone’s attention as he leaped up onto a log.
“Thanks, everyone, for being here tonight. You might be pleased to know, there are no set plans for the evening. I’m really proud of the way you’ve all stepped up this week and embraced team bonding.
And how hard you’ve worked in practice. I know it’s all going to pay off next weekend when we crush the Saints. ”
The boys around the fire cheered loudly in response.
“So, tonight, I just want everyone to hang out and enjoy yourselves.”
More cheers rang through the cool night air.
“What about the feelings circle?” Seth called out once everyone quieted down.
Laughter echoed and Parker grinned. “You can share your feelings if you like, Seth.”
“Nah, I’m good,” he replied.
“Really? Nothing you want to get off your chest?” Parker teased him. “No deep, dark secrets?”
“Well, actually, there is one thing…” The corner of Seth’s mouth lifted as mischief danced in his eyes. “There’s this girl I’ve got a crush on, but I haven’t told anyone.”
Intrigued looks appeared on all the boys’ faces and whispers rippled through the group.
“Who’s the lucky girl?” someone shouted.
“She’s a junior,” Seth started. “Dark hair. Blue eyes. Kind of mean.” He was grinning at Parker now. “Incredible skater. Looks great in spandex. She’s got three terrifying older brothers, though…”
There were a few nervous laughs, as everyone followed Seth’s gaze to Parker, who was glaring at his friend.
“I’ve got some feelings I’d like to share myself,” Parker growled. “I think I need a new best friend.”
There was more laughter as Seth turned to me. “If you ever want to piss off one of the Darling boys, just check out their sister. They go feral.”
“You’ve got a crush on Cammie?” I asked, shocked.
“No.” Seth laughed. “I wouldn’t dare. Didn’t you see the look on his face? It’s just fun to mess with him.”
Parker might want a new best friend, but unfortunately for him, I thought he and Seth were perfect for each other.
“Anyone else got some feelings they want to share?” Parker shouted. His eyes met mine, making my heart flutter. But then he turned to the rest of our team to add, “Before I throw Seth in the lake?”
The guys snickered and looked Seth’s way. He held up his hands in surrender but was still grinning broadly.
When no one else spoke up, Parker jumped down from the log, the music kicked in again, and the party started for real.
Jaz nudged me. “What’s up with Elliot?”
I looked in the direction she nodded and saw Ford sitting on a log with a bunch of other players. He was on the end, looking down into his red cup as though he was wishing it was a bottle of tequila.
Everyone else was chatting and having fun, but Elliot looked like he wished he were anywhere but here.
He certainly didn’t look interested in team bonding.
When Parker had first pitched the idea, Elliot had walked out in a huff, and I hadn’t seen him spending any extra time with his teammates.
He’d made absolutely no effort with me. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was a girl, or because I was playing his position, but the guy clearly didn’t like me.
As if he’d heard my thoughts, Elliot glanced up and saw me watching. His eyes narrowed before he stood from the log and walked off.
Jaz nudged me again, but this time when I turned to see what she was looking at, I found Parker standing there.
He gave me a soft smile. “Hey.”
How could one little word feel so powerful? Why could I feel it resonating in the depths of my soul?
“Hey.”
His eyes darted to the ground and then back to me. He almost seemed nervous. “You didn’t feel like sharing your deep dark secrets?”
I was staring at my biggest one.
“Nope. I’m an open book.” I gave Parker a tight smile and moved past him. “I need to refill my drink.”
My cup was still full, but I had to get away. All week I’d been trying to keep my distance from Parker. And all week I’d been failing. But the way he was looking at me tonight, I worried I might do something stupid if given half the chance.
I needed to clear my head. So, I placed my cup down on the drinks table and walked beyond the fire. I started down a path that led through the trees toward the lake, leaving the warmth of the party behind me. It was freezing tonight, but I kept moving.
The trees thinned out as I reached the lake and found an old wooden dock.
I buried my hands deeper into the pockets of my coat as I stopped to look out at the view.
The water was frozen, and with the moonlight shimmering across its surface and a sky full of stars sparkling above, it was the perfect spot to still my mind.
And yet, all my thoughts were back at the fire with Parker.
“You must be freezing.” I repressed a shiver as he came up behind me, but it had nothing to do with the cold.
“No, I’m fine.”
“Here.” He placed his jacket over my shoulders.
I eased out a breath as I glanced up at him. “Now you’re the one who’s going to freeze.”
“Nah, I don’t really feel the cold. Dad says us Darling boys are part yeti.”
“Ah,” I nodded. “That explains the hairy feet.”
“I don’t have hairy feet.”
I laughed and shook my head. “You should see your face. I’m only teasing.”
He reached up and lightly ran his fingers down a loose strand of my hair. “I like it when you tease me.”
“Parker…” I warned. “We can’t kiss again.”
Disappointment clouded his eyes, and he slowly lowered his hand. “Who says I was trying to kiss you?”
I lifted an eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe I was trying to kiss you.” He flashed me that damn cheeky smile of his.
“You know we need to stay away from each other.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that’s going particularly well…”
“No,” I murmured. I pulled my gaze from his and looked across the frozen lake. “It shouldn’t be this hard. We don’t even like each other.”
“You’re lying.” He touched a hand to my cheek, and my ability to resist him dissolved. I leaned into his touch. When it came to Parker, I was powerless.
“Okay, maybe I like you just a little bit,” I admitted.
“Only a little bit?”
“I’d like you more if you never opened your mouth.”
He laughed softly and leaned down so his forehead pressed against mine. I was surrounded by the scent of him. By the feel of him. He was pure heat against the icy cold, and I was one wrong move away from getting burned.
“Why’d you follow me out here, Parker?”
“Because I wish things were different.” He drew in a breath. “We’re going to win our game next week, and your dad’s going to put you on the team permanently.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Of course. I want that more than anything. But I also know it will only make it harder for us to be together. And I just…” He paused, and I felt his arm wrap gently around my waist. “I guess I just wanted to keep dreaming that things were different a little longer.”
“We’re alone out here,” I replied softly, sliding my hand up to rest on his chest. “Maybe we can pretend just for a while…”
He lightly brushed his lips against mine.
My whole body seemed to sigh in response.
This was so different than the heated kisses we’d shared before.
It was heartbreakingly beautiful and painful all at once, because we knew we weren’t just getting it out of our system.
We were saying goodbye. One final kiss and we’d be done.
When we broke apart, my chest ached in response. I wasn’t ready to let him go. Not even close.
He wasn’t either. Barely a second passed before he pulled me against him again. I came happily, eagerly. His hand was in my hair. The other gripping my waist. All softness and hesitation gone, replaced by pure desire.
His kisses made me feel as if my feet no longer touched the ground. They had my body vibrating like the stars above were igniting beneath my skin. I never wanted this moment to end.
When it did, I was left breathless. Wrecked. That kiss had carved a trail of destruction through me, fracturing my resistance into the smallest of pieces.
I took a step away from him. I had to.
“We should head back to the party.”
Parker nodded, his gaze still raw. I quickly pulled his jacket from my shoulders and passed it to him before turning from the lake. I hurried up the track toward the bonfire, even more desperate to escape than when I’d first taken the path down to the dock.