Chapter 6 I Said We Ended
The memory broke. My gaze landed on the phone on the table.
Exhaustion followed. I tugged at the corner of my mouth.
"Not interested."
"You've brought up breaking up so many times. Let me bring up the last one."
"Xu Heng, we are over."
The impatient look in Xu Heng's eyes went heavy. His face sank.
"What do you mean?"
Sometimes I had to doubt a man's ability to understand.
I had said it twice. He acted deaf.
This time I was the impatient one. I walked past him in silence.
"Is it Chu Lin? Did he come find you again?" Xu Heng locked onto my wrist.
Something in his eyes looked held down. It seemed that if I answered yes, whatever was inside would surge out.
At the end of that trip, Chu Lin and I exchanged contacts.
Xu Heng and I left on separate flights.
Back home, neither of us spoke.
Until I saw Chu Lin post that his new Bar had opened, and everyone was welcome.
Something pushed me to drive over.
I threw myself into the brilliant dance floor. The deafening drums hit my senses like a surging tide.
When I tired of dancing, a glass of water was held in front of me.
"You dance well. Very charming."
I took it, said thanks, and did not drink.
Chu Lin's looks were loud and striking. His clothes were bright, his style sharp, showing a defiant personality.
It was the same air as seven years ago.
But he was no good person.
He shrugged and laughed. "Still holding a grudge? You were the one who pretended to be a boy and took that road."
"In the end the police grabbed me, and my dad broke one of my legs."
His voice was light and quick. It made me drop my guard before I noticed.
I took a sip and refused to think about that memory.
"You deserved it."
"Yes, yes, yes. I deserved it." He braced a hand on the counter in an exaggerated way. His body suddenly came close.
Those gorgeous features filled my view. My heart clenched.
He lifted the corner of his mouth, all rogue. "Then what you owe me..."
"Tian Yue!" A furious shout exploded behind me.
Xu Heng's face was very dark.
His gaze fixed on Chu Lin, heavy and dark.
Chu Lin's expression did not change. He tipped his chin up. The air on him looked lawless.
Xu Heng spoke to me through his teeth. "Stay away from this kind of person."
Then he pulled me out of the Bar.
I shook his hand off.
He stopped and wrapped both arms around me.
"Rescue Breaths was me not thinking it through. But she was traveling with us. If something happened, I had no way to explain it."
"I'm sorry, Tian Yue."
Strange. That apology raised no ripple in me.
I was calm.
I even wondered what the people around us would think, seeing us hug on the street.
I worried we looked so stupid.
His apology turned the matter over for a while. The real making up came from another blowup.
After that, he and Lin Yaoyao kept in contact, using work as the excuse.
He had all kinds of reasonable lines.
I went from calm to feeling nothing, and I started answering Chu Lin, who kept coming to find me.
We were in proper contact too, because we were going to open a Bar together.
Xu Heng and Lin Yaoyao had meetings at night. Chu Lin and I had to inspect sites at night.
He looked furious, but I hit back with his own way of talking.
His face looked worse day by day.
He kept saying things with no cause.
"Why haven't you been eating candy lately?"
"Have you been smoking with Chu Lin?"
He sat on the sofa and did not move.
He kept his eyes down. I could not read his expression.
I ignored him.
"Didn't you say you quit smoking for me? Tian Yue, how can you go back on your word!"
His voice shot up. The last few words almost burst out of his chest.
My heart trembled. I left.
One day I was about to go out. He blocked me at the door.
"Don't go, all right?"
"I've been so miserable lately. So miserable."
His tone was sticky, like he felt wronged.
I stayed silent and shifted.
Xu Heng blocked tighter instead. His whole body was about to press in.
His burning warmth made me remember, for an instant, the palm that had once pulled me out of the abyss.
My breath went uneven. "Fine. One condition. You delete Lin Yaoyao."
He froze for a second, then said, "Fine. Then you delete Chu Lin too."
I was a little shocked.
He agreed so fast. I had not thought Chu Lin threatened him this much.
Afterward I asked him why he hated Chu Lin.
His expression was cold and proud. The disgust in his eyes could not stay hidden.
"Same class in high school. All day he didn't study. He just loafed."
"Arrogant, loved to fight, dragged the class down. Like a savage that never evolved. Disgusting."
"How do you know him?"
I thought about it. "I saw him once or twice in high school."
He did not ask more. I did not say more.
We looked like we had made up. But I understood. Some things had already changed.
Like my feelings.
They had long stopped rising and falling for him.