Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
VIOLET
“ M ommy, can we go on the slide again?”
Both of my children tugged on my fingers, Bri on the left and Trey on the right. They had rushed me like tiny football players, tackling me where I stood. Tatum and I were in line for hot chocolate—something to take the cool edge off the breezy fall evening air. Chase had insisted on a trip to the pumpkin patch.
He may have been chaperone to four young children, but Chase was the biggest kid of all. He’d already spent $100 on tickets, and taken my and Tatum’s kids on every ride twice. In reality, Moore’s Pumpkin Patch was more like a Halloween village. Apart from pumpkins, there were bouncy houses, a corn maze, a haunted hayride, a house of mirrors, and a lit-up, extra-tall slide.
“Does Uncle Chase want to go on the slide again or does he need a break?” I looked between my children.
“He wants to go on the slide!” they both practically screamed.
Since they’d run ahead of him to beg me, the man himself was just arriving. Chase held the hands of each of Tatum’s five-year-old twin boys who had been born the year before Trey.
“You want a break?” I asked Chase in earnest. “Buy snacks with Tatum while I take the kids?”
“Drinks are for quitters,” he ribbed. “Only reason we’re back is ’cause I told you I’d check in by six thirty.”
I looked at my watch to find it was six twenty-nine. Chase had taken all the kids for a full hour. Tatum and I had walked around the pumpkin patch and shopped for home goods and decorations in the attached crafts store. I’d felt relaxed and unencumbered by the passage of time, and too distracted to think about all that troubled me. I was living the parental dream.
“Do you want me to get you anything?” I asked, tipping my head toward the snack shack menu.
“A candy apple!” Bri shouted at the same time as Trey asked what kind of food they had.
I ignored my children and kept my gaze on Chase. They didn’t need any more sugar and I’d been talking to him.
“Hot cider?” he asked.
I nodded, then reminded my children that dinner was at home and they would not be eating more snacks. Ten seconds later, Chase was throwing a “thank you” over his shoulder and my children were tugging him back into the crowd, with Tatum’s far more well-behaved children in tow. I smiled, forgetting all my worries for a minute in the way I often did when I got swept up in my children’s joy.
On a contented sigh, I turned my attention back to Tatum, who looked after them with a soft smile on her face. Like me, she hadn’t had an easy go of things. We’d known each other vaguely online when we’d been in the same private group for firefighter wives. Then, her husband had died of cancer the same year that Todd was killed. That’s how we’d found ourselves together in a grief group for survivors.
“It seems like you really like Rodney.”
Before our kids had paid us a visit, we’d been on the topic of dating and men.
I shrugged. “Too early to call.”
“Well, it seems like you’re really making moves. You’re dating a guy, you’re starting your own business, and you’re graduating at the end of the year. Honestly? You’re a different person than you were back when I met you.”
“Girl.” I gave her a look. “When you met me, I was a mess. All you’re seeing is me finally getting myself together. It’s only been going on four years.”
She didn’t crack a smile at my self-deprecating humor. It was hard to imagine why. Tatum was one of the most optimistic people I’d ever met. She liked to see the good in people and situations. She was always ready with a kind word. Even after all she’d been through, it was rare not to see her smile.
“Is there anyone else you’re interested in? Anyone else you’d consider dating?”
I smiled playfully. “Why? Have you got a cute cousin you’ve never told me about? Are you trying to set me up?”
She laughed a little too hard, waving away my comment in a way that made me suspicious. Then, something different came over her expression. I couldn’t fathom what was up with her.
“Actually, I’m trying to set myself up. I was wondering how you might feel about it if I went out with Chase.”
Tatum wanted to go out with Chase? Or did Chase want to go out with her? And how had I not seen this coming? Whenever we watched Man Enough, she agreed with him a lot. She was always laughing at his jokes and offering to help him in the kitchen. I’d chalked it up to her being so nice. But now I saw it: she’d been flirting.
“Oh!” I tried to keep my voice light, well aware that I hadn’t answered her question. “You didn’t tell me Chase asked you out.”
I was about to get to the bottom of this. I needed to know who liked who, and whether both of them liked each other and I’d been too distracted to see it. Not that Chase was shallow, but Tatum was kind of gorgeous and oozing with Southern charm. She was always composed and put together. Her children were always impeccably clean. Unlike me, she never seemed stretched thin, like she was barely getting by. She wasn’t needy like I was. And she was as sweet as pumpkin pie. Honestly, I could see the appeal.
“Oh, he didn’t,” she was quick to say.
The magnitude of my relief was frightening. It had taken only seconds for my mind to spin up real concerns, like how could I pretend to be happy for one of my best friends if she was dating the one man I secretly wished I could?
“I mean, not yet,” she continued. “I guess I just wanted to be sure I wasn’t stepping into the middle of something complicated. You and Chase…you’re really…close.”
“Close in a platonic way,” I replied, quick with my pat answer. “I mean, he and Todd were best friends. It’s not like me and him could ever…” I didn’t finish the thought. “Me and Chase are just—” I searched for the right word to describe it. “—in it together. He feels obligated to me because of Todd. On top of that, he’s my kids’ godfather. And I see him every day ’cause he’s my boss.”
Tatum didn’t look convinced, but she also didn’t push it. Having her back off was a relief. The sooner this conversation was over, the sooner I could breathe again. I’d been so busy defending my decision to quit my job—so staunch in my belief that I had to move on—that I hadn’t thought ahead to what it would feel like to let him go.
I wasn’t stupid. I knew what some people thought of me being all up in his life and him being all up in mine. I knew we had an intimacy that may have been hard for some folks to understand. But how many people had been through what we’d been through together?
Don’t forget how good it feels every time he begs you to stay , a little voice inside me said. I took it as validation that certain things between us were real, even if those things didn’t have a place or a name. But for Chase to actually date somebody—that would drive it home. My head knew that all of this was antithetical to my genuine wish for Chase to have normalcy. But my heart clenched at the idea of him moving on.
“Alright, then.” Tatum said it on the end of a deep breath, her voice lighter now, with relief.
“Alright, then,” I repeated back.
By the time we had settled things, we’d gotten to the front of the line. I reached into my pocket, still dazed as I fished for money to pay for our drinks.
“Don’t worry.” Tatum smiled. “I’ve got this one.”
“Boo!”
I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone came up behind me in the House of Mirrors. My kids had convinced me to come in. I’d agreed to enter the labyrinth only once. They’d been in at least five times, which meant they’d already memorized the way. Seconds after we’d stepped inside, they’d left me in the dust.
That had left only me and my addled brain in the dark, repeating corridors, wishing I’d never seen the movie Us , and that I’d made more of an effort to keep up with my children. I was neither clear-headed nor good at this—a terrible combination if I ever wanted to get out of this thing.
Speaking of which…
I whipped around, acting purely on instinct, ready to surprise whoever had decided to come up on me with a swift kick in the pants. It was probably just teenagers having some fun. But it wasn’t a teenager—it was Chase. I’d been so deep in thought, it hadn’t registered. When I pushed him in protest, he didn’t budge.
“Chase,” I scolded. “Never scare a Black woman in a haunted house unless you’re trying to get yourself killed. I was about to fight you.”
He put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed them in brief massage, something he’d done in other situations to get me to calm down.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just playing.” He used a voice he knew would appease me and gave me his “I’m too cute not to be forgiven” puppy dog eyes.
He turned me back around and put his hands on my shoulders, guiding me forth. By now, he’d been in here as many times as the kids. It meant that, just like Trey and Bri, he knew the way to the exit. I tried not to dwell on how much I enjoyed his touch.
“You having a good time?” he asked in a low voice. “Tatum said the two of you went shopping for decor.”
I wonder what else Tatum had told him, whether she’d already mentioned they ought to go out. Then I stopped myself, because I was being ridiculous.
“Actually,” I replied. “Everything I bought is for you. Trey says your house needs to be more Halloweenie. While you’re out one day, we’ll decorate. But you’re not supposed to know about it. When you come home, act surprised.”
Chase chuckled good-naturedly, unaware of my errant thoughts. “Every kid has a holiday. Halloween is definitely his.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t front. Halloween is your favorite holiday, too. So don’t you go buying him more decorations. I’ve already cut him off. And I know the two of you are in cahoots…about a lot of things.”
“Every little boy needs a dog, Vi.”
“You’re his godfather. He has a god-dog.”
Chase chuckled. “God-dogs aren’t a thing.”
“Neither is a four-year-old who’s responsible enough to take care of a puppy.”
“Bri mentioned something to me,” he casually changed the subject as he walked us around yet another corner. Man, this maze was getting pretty long.
“What is it?”
Chase’s hands weren’t just sitting on my shoulders. I liked the way he squeezed them as we walked. As always, when we were someplace quiet and dark together, I noticed how it felt for him to stand close.
“She said something about a dance, and needing a date for it. But I figured, that can’t be right. She’s seven years old. Unless things have changed vastly since I was a kid, she’s about five years too early. But she was kind of shy and vague about it, so I figured I’d just ask you. Did I misunderstand?”
“No, you heard right,” I said on the tails of a heavy sigh. This night was not getting better. “She was talking about the daddy/daughter dance.”
I’d been spitting mad when Bri had brought home a ticket order form that afternoon. So much that I’d given the kids weeknight screen time—which I never do—so I could call the school. With their headphones on and their eyes on their games, my children had remained blissfully unaware when I’d given that elementary school principal a piece of my mind.
Chase stopped me and spun me around to face him once again.
“Now don’t you worry.” His eyes were serious and his voice matched his eyes. “First thing tomorrow, I’m gonna call that two-bit school. Tell them more than they ever wanted to hear on sensitivity. Bri can’t be the only kid who’s ever lost her dad. And whose bright idea was it to hold an event that’s so audaciously gendered? I’ll give them a map, so they can find their way out of the dark ages.”
Chase with a bee in his bonnet often made me laugh, but I couldn’t laugh about this. Bri had put on a brave face, but she’d been crushed. I’d wondered what the other kids might have said to her or—possibly worse—what sad thoughts she might be having herself. I knew I couldn’t talk to her about it until I was calm, or at least until I had processed my own emotions. Chase coming so fiercely to Bri’s defense was more than I could handle.
I sniffled, fighting vainly to keep my wave of emotion at bay. It came at exactly the wrong time. People were catching up to us. I could hear them.
As if no one else existed, he engulfed me in a tight, warm hug. I couldn’t help but to lean in. As soon as I did, I realized this was what I had needed all along.
“Let’s go somewhere and talk,” he finally said. We meandered our way out of the maze seconds before another group caught up to us. When he spotted Tatum, he called, “Hey! Would you mind taking the kids in again?”
Tatum gave the thumbs-up and the kids gave a little cheer. Once they were out of sight, he steered me to sit on a hay bale off to the side.
“What’s our goal here?” he asked me gently with soft eyes. “Do we want to get them to call it off? Force them to do away with the tradition? Or maybe smoke them out? I can hold a competing event at the barn. Invite all the families. Call it a special dinner for The Noble Pig…”
I shook my head. “I don’t think any of that will fix it for Bri. I think she just wishes she had a dad.”
Chase put his arm around me now, offering more comfort. After all the strangeness between us, Chase still had my back.
“I’ll take her to the dance. I’d be honored if she let me. With your permission, of course.”
This time, my regular protests died right in my throat. Depriving myself of his help would be one thing if it was just me, but this was Bri we were talking about.
Instead of responding directly, for a long moment, I squeezed him back, that gesture conveying more than I ever could in words.
“Let’s give it a few days. Find out what she really wants. Let her process through it all. If she decides she wants to go, I’ll tell you and let you do the asking.”
Chase nodded and kept his arm around me while we waited for the others to make their way through. At some point, he dropped a kiss to the top of my head. When I finally felt I could breathe again, and had melted into him a little, I heard him murmur, “I’m still gonna call that school.”