Chapter 24 #3
“Mom and Dad have had a good life, they’ll accept it. Kallum too. Kara is a Gulf now. So, that just leaves you little brother. Know that I won’t force you. If you don’t accept this, I’ll understand.”
He stared at me, eyes narrowed. “So, that’s it? My life or hers?”
“Our lives or hers.”
“You can’t seriously expect?—”
“Look at where we are!” I cut him off, spreading my arms wide, ignoring the fear in his eyes.
“Look at what she’s done. I don’t have time to make her fall for me the way you and everyone else wants me to.
My wolf will hurt her, do you understand that?
I have days, maybe weeks if she stays with me, before he takes me over for good.
” I paused, breathless. Even now the beast bit at me, yearning to be free.
“These are my choices. Claim her by force and we live. Let her go and we die. I don’t want to force her to be my mate and spend the rest of my life making sure she doesn’t throw herself off another cliff, or hang herself like—” I cut myself off, biting back that dark part of our pack history.
I turned from him, pacing, as if that alone would rid me of the writhing in my gut, the crawling under my skin.
“What about Marcus and Carrick? Their mates?”
“They’ll get the same choice as you,” I said, turning once more to face him.
“This isn’t fair.”
“No, it isn’t. None of this is, for any of us, but these are the choices we have, brother.
Bear them.” I heard my father in my voice.
The strong Alpha he’d been, ruling over me with an iron fist as a child.
It had frustrated me that he’d been harder on me than anyone else.
How many times had I yelled that something wasn’t fair?
‘These are the choices you have, Son. Bear them.’ He’d never wavered from his stance, not once. I wished he was here.
“What about you? You’ll die too.”
I thought of my life as it was. I’d been a good leader once, but I grew more unstable by the day and everyone knew it. “Maybe the pack would be better for it.”
“Don’t say that. They’re loyal to you. You’re still our Alpha.”
I snorted and shook my head. I still had an Alpha’s power, but an Alpha’s mind? It was becoming laughable. The look on my brother's face told me that it wasn’t at all funny.
“Hey.” He shoved me, and before I could stop it my hands were around his neck, my teeth snapping.
He rolled, with speed unmatched by any other warrior I had, and threw me off.
I snarled but all the fight fell away when he dropped to his knees.
He looked up at me, submission plain in his fierce eyes.
“You’re still my Alpha. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?
” His voice shook and he clenched his jaw, trying to hide it.
He whined, his wolf hurting at my rejection of his loyalty.
“Kon, get the fuck up.”
“Why? Scared someone might see us?” He turned to the treeline and shouted, “Nothing to see here! Just one naked man on his knees in front of another naked man!”
His humour in the depth of our darkest moments jolted me out of my misery. I burst out laughing, the sound pained and hoarse. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d laughed. “Can you ever be serious?”
“No need, big brother. You’re serious enough for the both of us.” He stood, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll find her. Then we can decide what to do next. But I don’t think this is it for us. I don’t believe it.”
I looked at him, wishing I was as sure of that as he was. “She would rather die than be with me.”
“Because she doesn’t know you. You fucked up, but the moon doesn’t fuck up.
She matched you for a reason and I have faith in my Luna.
Show her who you are, who we are,” he paused, “and if it comes to choosing between her life and ours, I’ll follow whatever decision you make.
You are my Alpha and you have my loyalty to the end, no matter what. ”
For the first time in a long time, I felt warmth in my chest. Before I could respond, a howl sounded in the distance, downriver. It was Jake. Had they found her? Another sounded in response, half a mile from us, back the way we’d come. Siobhan.
Konnor looked at me, a smile on his face. “Are you ready?”
I gritted my teeth. Shifting was a risk, it was so much harder to control my wolf when I was in his skin. I thought about the black, the endless nothing. I felt Konnor’s hand on my shoulder again.
“Look at me. You’re coming back from this.” He pressed his forehead to mine. His skin was comforting, his scent so familiar. “You have to. Mom will kick my ass if I go home without you.”
I laughed, shoving him away from me. He shifted, sounding his own howl to let the others know we’d heard them. Then he waited, watching me. Shifting to fur was going to be a lot easier than shifting to skin.
I reached down into my wolf, urging him to be one with me just one more time. For him to let us find her safe, alive and safe. That’s all I needed now. Then I could let go once and for all and finally be at peace.