Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Luch
Bloody hell, but she had terrified me.
It wasn’t the magick, that I could handle, but the sight of those nasty bruises marring her gorgeous skin?
It had sent a wave of panic through me that I hadn’t felt since the time I saw my mum fall from her wheelchair and crack her head on the way to the floor.
That had been terrifying and had stayed with me after all these years.
You can never un-hear the noise, her cries of pain.
But knowing Faelan was in pain? Not knowing how she’d sustained the injuries, not knowing how critical her injuries were?
It had stirred something unexpected in me.
It wasn’t terror I felt, but torment. As a physician, I needed to find the cause and treat her.
As a man, I’d felt powerless and fearful.
Already Faelan occupied so many of my thoughts, but after seeing her injured, it was like something had activated in me.
My heart had opened.
I hated seeing her weak, in pain, unable to stand on her own two feet. I’d already known that my interest in Faelan was more than just that of a man enjoying a bit of a flirtation, but today, it had rocketed my emotions far past attraction and into something more.
Something I wasn’t sure I was ready to fully examine.
“I don’t see a way forward.”
I sat on the couch, head in my hands, while Oban lounged on his dog bed in front of the fireplace. It was too warm to have a fire today, but Oban didn’t seem to mind, and he stretched out his wee paws and cocked his head at me as he let me talk it out.
“Because of what your father will say?”
“My father, my brothers, hell, probably even my mum. It feels like a betrayal to them. We’ve been brought up to hate healers. Hate them. Any time my mum struggled with anything, after … It was always that ‘bloody healer’ to blame.”
“They needed an outlet for their rage.”
“They did. And it landed squarely on the healer’s head. But we don’t know, do we? What if it wasn’t the healer’s fault? What if it just was … because … you know.”
“You’re different.”
“Aye, and she’s not. Mum’s not. She’s not one of us.”
“So instead of looking to himself, your father projected it on the healer.”
I shifted, needing to stand and walk off my restless energy.
“I don’t know. I wasn’t there. I’ve certainly spent some time reading into it.
What would a healer have done? You saw today what healing a horse did to Faelan.
What would happen when she tried to heal a spine?
There’s probably a limit to what they can do before they risk putting themselves in harm’s way.
And is that what’s required of a healer?
Do they need to die for their patient? I don’t recall ever learning that motto in med school.
” I dragged a hand through my hair as I paced, a rumble of thunder shaking the windowpanes, a storm rolling in to match my mood.
“I think it’s a conversation worth having with Faelan. She might be able to shed some insight on the incident.”
I paused, whirling on my wee pup. I jammed a finger in the air in his direction.
“That’s … that’s a brilliant idea. I never thought about talking to an actual healer. Mainly because I’ve never met one. But she might be able to explain what happened. And if so, maybe my father would be open to meeting her … if …”
“If you become a couple?”
“If we become a couple.”
“Is that what you want? I like her.”
“As you’ve said, many a time.” I resumed my pacing, my thoughts whirling.
I had grown used to being out on my own, relishing the distance and space from my family, and enjoying quiet walks in the woods with wee Oban on my days off.
But my time with Faelan so far hadn’t felt disruptive to that.
Instead, being with her was something I looked forward to, and being around her was effortless.
It didn’t feel like I was giving anything up—any of my carefully protected emotional balance that I needed to perform well as a doctor—instead I felt recharged after my time with Faelan.
And wasn’t that a gift in itself?
“You’ll have to tell her … if you want her in your life.”
I shrugged, ignoring Oban. The weight of my world, the reality of my family back home, weighed heavily on my shoulders.
I’d run away to Loren Brae to find myself, to take space to breathe, and now I was more conflicted than ever.
Familial responsibility hung like chains around my neck, and I couldn’t help but feel like my time here was running short.
A whimpering from the bedroom shot my head up and I was across the room in seconds, pushing the door open gently.
Faelan still slept, but she whimpered again, her face contorted, and I realized she was having a bad dream.
Easing the door closed behind me, I quietly crossed the room, light from a small lamp in the corner softly illuminating my path.
Gently, I crawled into bed next to Faelan and pulled her into my arms.
“Shhh, darling, I’ve got you.”
“Luch.” Faelan said my name on a soft sigh, and my heart shivered and jumped off a cliff when she turned and snuggled into my arms in her sleep.
Her cheek pressed softly to my chest, and I tightened my arms around her, lightly stroking her back and whispering nonsense words to soothe until her breath fell in a steady rhythm once more.
I’ll hold you as long as you need.
Lightning flashed, close by, and thunder boomed quickly after. Faelan jerked awake in my arms, blinking up at me, as a torrent of rain unleashed against the window in my room.
“Hey,” I said, softly, not daring to move. “How are you feeling?”
“Luch … what are you …” Her face was soft with sleep, her eyes still drowsy as her brain swam awake, and I waited for her to remember everything that had happened this morning.
Her body stiffened in my arms.
“It’s okay, Faelan.”
“No, it’s not.” She put her hands on my chest, moving to push away, but I held her close, refusing to let her go. We needed to talk about what had happened, and to clear the air.
“Wheehst, lass. Just listen to me.” When she stopped resisting and leaned back into my chest, I relaxed and ran a hand soothingly up and down her back.
“I suspected since you healed wee Oban that something was up. I just didn’t know what it was.
Now I do. And I have, I don’t know, probably at least a few hundred questions to start with, but for now, I need you to hear that I’m not upset. ”
“But … your mum?” Faelan tilted her head, her chin resting on my chest, those gorgeous gray-blue eyes scanning my face.
“Aye, my mum had an issue with a healer. Or so my dad says. I don’t know, because I wasn’t there.
I mean, I was there, but I was a wee bairn.
The healer has been an easy outlet for my family’s anger, but my father never found them, nor has he been able to question any healers since.
I think there’s room here for a discussion so we can learn what choices were made at that time. ”
Faelan blinked up at me, and I could see that beautiful mind of hers whirling with thoughts.
“And your mum? What does she say?”
“She’s always said it was nature’s doing. She’s been the only one who never held blame, which I think frustrated my father even more, to be honest.”
“And you think that I could absolve all healers of your family’s blame?
” Faelan shifted, annoyance flashing across her face.
“I’m not sure I’m up to the task. Or frankly, that I volunteered for it.
I’m not some circus act, Luch. I won’t perform on demand to prove to you, or anyone, that I’m on this earth to do good in this world. ”
Bloody hell, but I was bungling this.
“Faelan, no, please. That’s not what I’m saying.” I brushed a finger across her cheek. “You can tell my family to go to hell for all I care. I just meant that I’ve always been more open-minded about this than they have.”
Faelan’s eyes narrowed. “Have you? That wasn’t exactly the vibe I got from you when we first met.”
“Och, true enough. I was deeply suspicious of what you’d done to help Oban.
But after I calmed down, I began to understand that healing was healing.
And maybe science doesn’t have all the answers.
I like to think that it does, it’s what my training’s based on, but I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t believe in magick.
I know magick to be true in this world. But now that I’ve seen you heal, and seen firsthand the sacrifices you make to do so, there’s no way that I could ever look at you and see evil, Faelan. ”
Faelan’s mouth parted and a soft breath escaped.
“Truly?”
“Truly,” I said. I couldn’t help myself, I needed to kiss her. Shifting, I rolled so I could capture her lips in a gentle kiss, desire flaring deep inside me.
“Luch.” Faelan’s mouth was desperate against mine. “I’ve been so worried. I didn’t want to tell you. I thought you’d never be able to accept me.”
“I do, Faelan. How could I not? You’re incredible.” I laughed when Faelan pushed me back, rolling so she could straddle me. “Hey now, go easy. You still have bruises.”
“It’s always like this. After.” Faelan grinned down at me and reached behind herself to unhook her bra. Heat surged through me as her lovely breasts swung free, and I immediately cupped them, testing their weight in my hands.
“Like what?” Easing forward, I captured a nipple in my mouth, desperately needing my mouth on her. She was glorious, even with the bruising that still bloomed along her body, like mottled purple roses fallen against snow.
“I have so much energy.” Faelan’s eyes gleamed as she shoved me back until I was lying on my back again, my hands at her hips.
“There’s something about a successful healing, a long sleep, and my medicinal tea that sets me buzzing.
Usually I go for a long walk to work off the energy.
But I can think of other, more satisfying, ways to do that. ”