Chapter 30
Despite Mia's wishes, Jude had kept to the original afternoon schedule, so Mia had been forced to do the costume fitting at the planned time—and would have to wait nearly another full hour she could've used to rest before the sound check.
That had Erin on edge, especially since she hadn't managed to speak with the singer after what happened that morning.
When the doctor—freshly showered after her workout—went to the singer's room, she found her asleep, so she closed the door quietly and stepped out for a walk with Nell, pulling on a cap and sunglasses at the tour director's suggestion.
"Your face is everywhere now, and those vultures are just as interested in you as they are in her."
Erin had huffed, but she'd also realized Mia hadn't been right when she accused her of having regrets. She didn't. She'd kissed her because she wanted to, and she'd do it again. It was everything that hadn't happened yet that scared her and kept her restless.
"I'm an idiot," she blurted out when both women sat down on a bench after walking through the park in silence.
Nell glanced at her sideways with an amused look and took a sip of her Starbucks coffee while she waited. Erin stretched her legs out in front of her and shoved her hands into the pockets of her hoodie.
"Mia thinks I didn't want to kiss her—that I did it in the heat of the moment," she murmured, staring down at the toes of her boots, smudged with dirt.
"Was that it?"
"No. But she thinks it was."
"So why are you here with me instead of setting her straight?" Nell asked, bumping her shoulder.
"I went to see her, but she was sleeping." Erin smiled, burying her hands deeper in her pockets.
After that, she hadn't had a chance to reach her. Mia had woken up around lunchtime, and Noah was with her when the doctor came in to check her vitals. Mia's look hadn't been cold, exactly, but it hadn't been warm either, and the whole thing had been pretty uncomfortable.
On the ride from the hotel to the venue they'd sat together, but talking hadn't been an option since they weren't alone—and now Erin stood near the stage with Noah, going over the press meeting she'd had that morning, while Mia, who'd finished the costume fitting a little while ago, moved around the stage with the dancers, mapping out the space and killing time until the official rehearsal.
Erin checked the time and decided this was the moment.
"Can we pick this up later, Noah? I need to talk to Mia for a minute."
"Yeah, of course. No problem."
The assistant stepped away to wrap up a few things with Jude, and she walked over to the edge of the stage.
"Mia, can you come here for a second, please?"
The singer turned and seemed to hesitate, but finally walked over and came down the three metal steps.
"What's going on?"
Erin took her by the wrist to buy herself a beat—she was suddenly nervous.
"Your pulse is a little low." The doctor frowned. "Let's go to the medical room for a minute. I want to check your blood pressure."
Mia didn't argue. She sat down on the exam table when they walked in and Erin closed the door. She wrapped the blood pressure cuff around Mia's arm and pressed the button, and while she waited for it to finish, she placed a finger under Mia's chin and tilted her head up.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, and the singer felt her pulse jump.
"For what?"
"For this morning—I kind of froze and couldn't find the words, but I don't regret what happened last night at the gala."
Mia should've felt relief, but she couldn't bring herself to soften her expression.
"It didn't seem like it, Erin."
"I know, but—"
The cuff finished, and the doctor didn't like what she saw.
"Your blood pressure's a little low. Are you feeling okay?" she asked, brushing the back of her hand slowly across Mia's cheek—something she would never do with any other patient.
"Yes. I'm fine." Mia shrugged, and Erin stood there thinking.
She would have loved to stop the concert—to tell Jude the singer needed rest—but she knew what that meant, and she couldn't do it without real medical grounds.
"I'm going to have them bring you some juice and a handful of nuts. That'll help bring it up a little and won't sit heavy."
"Okay."
The doctor stepped out for a moment to talk to Noah, and she didn't even have to wait for him to come through, because the guy was always prepared, thanks to the list Erin had put together for him of every drink and snack she wanted available near the singer at all times.
"Is she okay?" Mia's best friend asked.
"Yes, don't worry. Just a precaution."
Erin went back to the medical room, opened the packet of nuts and the juice, and when she handed them over, she sat down beside Mia on the table, their legs dangling.
"Want some?" Mia offered, chewing. "These are so good—they're my favorites."
She shook a few more into her palm and popped them in her mouth.
"I know."
Mia turned, surprised.
"What else do you know?"
"I know those are your favorites and that orange juice is the only one you can stomach," she said, nodding at the snack beside her.
"You don't like any other flavor—or buttered toast, or coffee that's too hot, or soda without ice.
You only put your hair up when you're really warm.
You look down when something overwhelms you, and you can see your pulse in your throat when you're nervous.
" Erin brushed her fingertips lightly over Mia's jugular, and Mia went very still.
"You love wearing oversized hoodies so you can tuck your legs inside while you're on the couch.
You only read books with sapphic main characters, and you feel safe when Noah's beside you in meetings. "
Erin slid off the table and stepped between her legs.
"I also know that I really like you, that thinking about what happens to us when the tour ends terrifies me, and that you have the most incredible eyes I've ever seen."
The doctor placed one hand behind her head and gave her a short, soft kiss on the lips.
"I don't have regrets, Mia, and I don't want to play games with you—I never meant to, and I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. But we should talk about us at some point, figure out what we each want and whether we're in the same place, or at least close enough that this could actually work."
"Okay." Mia set down the bag of nuts and wiped her mouth on her hoodie sleeve before wrapping her arms around the back of Erin's neck. "Can we talk tonight in your room? That way we get this sorted out once and for all."
Erin caught her under the thighs and lifted her as Mia locked her legs around her waist with a slow, knowing smile.
"Are you going to fuck me against the wall?" She bit down on Erin's earlobe, and the doctor felt a current shoot straight through her.
"Absolutely not. Nothing's happening—not now, not tonight. You need rest," she whispered against her mouth.
"That's a shame, because I love it when you fuck me against the wall," she breathed into her ear, and the confession almost made Erin stumble.
The singer's lips curved into a crooked smile before she kissed her, and Erin had to work very hard to find the strength to pull away. She set her back down on the table and stepped back, watching her while she felt her own heartbeat against her arm as she crossed it over her chest.
"Finish that," she ordered, nodding at the juice. "And I mean it—take it easy during this rehearsal. When you're done I'll check your blood pressure again and—"
"I'll be perfectly fine," the singer promised, draining the last of her juice.