Chapter 17
Phoenix
Seven damn days of her moving around me like I was invisible. At the brewery, she kept her eyes fixed on the floor, the tables, the customers. . .anywhere but me. She worked with this sharp, laser focus, smiling when she had to, but never lingering long enough for me to catch her gaze.
Not once, dammit.
And every night when I came home, the loft lights cut through my kitchen window like salt in a wound. I’d see her shadow moving across the blinds, her hair catching in the lamplight, sometimes cradling Braden in her arms, sometimes pacing the room.
She was driving me crazy. Because no matter how much she tried to shut me out, I couldn’t stop watching.
Couldn’t stop thinking about the way she’d come undone against me in the stockroom.
The way her body had responded like we’d been made to fit.
Now she was acting like it never happened.
Like I didn’t exist. I told myself to let well enough be.
Let her have her space. She had a baby, responsibilities, a whole mess of her own to deal with.
But hell, if I could turn off the storm brewing inside me.
Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her parted lips and heard the sound of my name in her throat.
She’d built walls higher than ever this week, and still I caught myself trying to find the cracks.
Not to mention I was constantly hard. That night after our kiss, I went home so tight I thought I’d burst. I tried to calm down, take the edge off, but it didn’t work.
No matter how many times I got myself off to the memory of her breathless moans, the way she clung to me, and the wet heat of her under my hand, it was never enough. Nothing seemed to be. I needed Elyna.
I’d never been this strung out over a woman in my life.
Never let anyone crawl under my skin this deep.
But she was always there, embedded in every aspect of my life.
She practically lived in my house. She worked in my bar.
She was always in my head. And my traitorous body wouldn’t let me forget the way she felt.
I had an ache that hadn’t let up for seven days straight.
I was losing my mind. She wanted to pretend I didn’t exist, but I was there.
The way her body reacted to me was off the charts.
I knew she must have been feeling the way I did, but she was so damn stubborn.
She wasn’t going to give in to her feelings and I knew they were there.
The way she went off like a rocket doesn’t happen if there is no chemistry.
Her body fit mine like a piece of a missing puzzle.
I knew it, but how did I get her to admit it?
I had no clue. What I did know was, I needed a break from thinking about Elyna Chabot.
So, when Eric texted me about going fishing, I knew it was the perfect thing to distract me from myself.
I headed over to the main house. What I needed was my family right now. Luckily, when I walked in, I found them all congregated in the kitchen snacking.
“Look who finally decided to show up,” Asher said.
“I’ve been busy with work. You know what that is, right?” I asked Asher.
“Don’t be a jerk,” Asher responded.
“Why not? Phoenix likes to be a jerk,” Becket added.
“You know cops aren’t supposed to disturb the peace,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, Becket. What kind of cop are you?” Eric butted in. We were all just playing with each other but shit got real when we started wrestling. We went out to the foyer because if we broke any dishes, Dad would get pissed at us and we all respected his space.
“We’re going fishing,” I said, as Asher tried to swipe me off my feet.
“Yeah, fishing is a good idea,” he agreed as Becket came from behind and got Asher into a hold. Eric tried to plow into my stomach but missed. Bean walked into the house at that moment. Her voice cut through the chaos as I straightened, only to get snagged into a headlock by Eric.
“Bean, we’re going fishing. You should come. We’ll barbecue tonight on the back porch. It’ll be a sendoff,” I said. Fishing always calmed me. Maybe today it’d pull me out of my head, drag me away from thoughts of Elyna that hadn’t stopped chewing at me since that damn kiss.
“I can go fishing,” she confirmed, and Eric finally let me go.
Asher hooted like a fool.
“Where’s Dad?” Asher asked. “He’d want to go fishing.”
“On a date,” Bean explained.
Asher’s right brow arched and each of my brothers had a look of shock on their faces.
“A date?” I repeated. Dad didn’t date. He got burned by Mom and that was the end of it.
“Yeah, you know, when you take someone out and get to know them,” Bean replied sarcastically.
“Since when does Dad date?” Becket asked. I was kind of wondering the same thing.
“I don’t know, but he seemed happy. He got all dressed up in a nice shirt and slacks,” Bean explained.
“Whoa.” Asher’s eyes turned wide.
“Yeah,” I agreed. This was very unlike our father. What the hell was going on with us? I had a woman I couldn’t stop thinking about and Dad got himself all dressed up, which means he made a real effort for this lady.
“Don’t be like that.” Bean scorned us all. “He deserves to be happy.”
“He was happy living the single life,” Eric noted.
My brothers and I had always been sworn bachelors.
We never wanted to settle down. It didn’t mean we were celibate.
We entertained lady friends often. We always kept things respectful around the main house when Bean was growing up, but none of us were saints.
“You guys are all ridiculous. This whole ‘I don’t need a relationship to be happy’ nonsense,” Bean chided. Having Elyna crash into my life and cause all these feelings to emerge inside me had me questioning my life’s choices.
“Bean, you’re the baby of this family,” I said, and my little sister didn’t like that comment very much.
“Yeah, so?” She placed her fists on her hips. I’d clearly managed to piss her off.
“So, you don’t remember what a mess he was after Mom left. One minute they were a happy couple and the next she was gone,” I said in case she was too young to remember.
We all recited Dad’s line that she didn’t want to be found, but the crack in Eric’s voice betrayed how deep the wound still ran. I felt it too. That emptiness never went away.
Asher cut the talk short, suggesting beers and fishing, and all of us hooted like kids again. I clung to that sound, tried to let it ground me.
We piled into the truck. I hitched the boat while Eric loaded the cooler.
Country music filled the cab as we drove, windows down, wind whipping through.
It was supposed to feel nostalgic, like old times.
Instead, my chest burned with the image of Elyna in that stockroom, lips parted, begging me not to stop.
I gripped the wheel tighter, trying to drown the memory but nothing seemed to work.
At the lake, Bean called Luc while we got the boat ready.
I pretended to focus on tackle and knots, but her voice carried over the water soft and affectionate.
It set off a chain reaction in my head. Elyna said Braden’s name the same way, that fierce maternal tenderness that gutted me.
Braden deserved more than Riley Jansen for a father. Deserved someone who gave a damn.
When Bean hung up, Asher shouted about “Loverboy,” and I cracked a beer to keep from snapping.
Out on the water, the banter continued. Becket teasing, Asher dangling his legs over the side, Eric playing Dad with sandwiches.
I cast my line, precise as always, but all I could think about was Elyna.
How avoiding me for a week didn’t erase what happened.
How ignoring me didn’t stop the ache lodged in my body every night.
After giving Bean the third degree about her new relationship with Luc, things somehow shifted back to me.
Bean thought we brought her out here for an intervention, but that wasn’t the case.
She was our little sister, and we’d always watch out for her.
It was just ironic she was the first one of us to fall in love.
Although maybe it wasn’t that strange. She and Luc had been best friends from birth basically.
We all saw that one coming. We were just concerned with Luc starting in the NHL and where it would leave our sister.
But Bean was filled with confidence where Luc was concerned.
And lucky for me, my sister decided to shift attention off her and on to me.
“So, Phoenix, how is it going with Elyna and Braden living in your loft?” she asked.
Shit. I came out here to forget about Elyna, not get the third degree.
“Fine, I don’t know,” I mumbled.
I got a round of confused looks from my siblings.
“How do you not know?” Eric asked. “You went to high school with her. We grew up around the Chabots. You know who she is.”
“We never got a long and that isn’t going to change overnight,” I replied with nonchalance as I stood near the edge of the boat, calm and steady like always.
I flicked my wrist, and the fishing rod arced smoothly, the line sailed out over the water.
I’d practiced this move since I was a young boy and Dad took us fishing.
I reeled in just a little, then settled in with one hand on the rod and the other around my beer.
“Bro, you’ve got a hot chick living under your roof and you don’t acknowledge her?” Asher piped up.
I side-eyed him. “What do you know? Besides, Elyna is a single mom. She’s got a lot on her plate. I’m giving her a place to live. She doesn’t need me hounding her.”
“Hounding was not where my mind went,” Eric said, smirking.
I kept my face blank, focused on the water. Inside though? I was hard just thinking about her. Hard remembering the way she clutched at me like she’d break if I let go. My brothers could joke all they wanted, but they had no idea what kind of war I was fighting.
The afternoon blurred with laughter, beers, and fish. Becket bragged over the bass he caught. Asher nearly toppled overboard. But even then, with sunlight glinting off the lake and my brothers loud around me, I couldn’t quiet the storm inside me. Elyna was there, under my skin, every second.
As we headed back to the house, hauling fish, and prepping for the cookout Bean insisted on, I knew nothing about today had fixed a damn thing. Because later, Elyna would be here. And the longer she avoided me, the more I wanted her. I was like a thread waiting to snap.