Chapter 19
Phoenix
The night quieted once Elyna disappeared up the path with Braden in her arms, Asher and Eric flanking her like guard dogs.
The deck felt too empty without her. The air hung thick with smoke from the grill, the scent of charred lemon and fish clinging to me like a reminder of everything I was trying to bury.
Becket stretched and rolled his shoulders then he disappeared into the main house. I thought he was going to ditch me for the baseball game on TV, but a few minutes later he came back with a bottle of whiskey and two tumblers in his hands. He set them down on the table between us with a clink.
“Don’t give me that look,” he said as he poured. “This is a two-finger night if I ever saw one.”
I snorted but didn’t argue. He slid a glass toward me, the amber catching the porch light. Becket lifted his glass, watching me over the rim. “So, what’s eating you, big brother?”
“Nothing.” I took a sip, the burn settling in my chest. “Just tired.”
“Bullshit.” His mouth tipped in a knowing smirk. “It’s Elyna.”
I froze. Was I that transparent?
I wanted to deny it. But Becket knew me too well. He leaned back, patient as a priest waiting for a confession.
With a curse, I set the tumbler down harder than I meant to. “I don’t know what the hell to do. We had… a thing. In the stockroom.” I dragged a hand down my face. “And then she shut me out. I can’t stop thinking about her. I want her so bad it’s making me crazy, but she won’t even look at me.”
Becket didn’t look surprised, just thoughtful. “So go tell her. Walk your ass over to that loft and tell her you want her.”
I barked out a humorless laugh. “It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is.” This was coming from my very single brother, who spent most of his time at the station.
“She’s a single mom, Beck. Her baby is her world. And I’ve never done a relationship in my life. I don’t know how to be the guy she needs.” My voice dropped. “And she’s been through enough already.”
Becket poured himself another splash and shook his head. “You’ve wanted her since high school. Don’t think I didn’t notice. You can keep pretending you’re protecting her by staying away, but that’s not what this is. You’re just scared.”
“I’m not scared.” My brother was goading me, and I took the bait.
“Yes, you are,” he said evenly. “Scared of screwing it up. Scared because she matters.”
Before I could argue, the deck door banged open and Eric and Asher came barreling in, still laughing like idiots.
“I can’t believe we caught Bean and Luc in the bathroom,” Asher wheezed.
“Her face . . .” Eric clutched his side, grinning.
“Luc looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.” I did not want to know what they were talking about.
I knew my little sister was all grown up but she was still Bean, and in my eyes a little girl.
What she was doing with her boyfriend was none of my business.
Besides, thinking of them together made my skin crawl.
Their laughter cut short when they saw the bottle on the table.
The whiskey.
All four of us knew the rule. We didn’t break out the whiskey unless something serious was on the line.
Eric’s grin faded. “Okay. What’s going on?”
Becket tipped his head toward me. “It’s Elyna.”
I groaned, dragging a hand through my hair. “For fuck’s sake, Beck.”
“What about Elyna?” Asher suddenly asked.
Becket answered for me. “They hooked up. Now she’s ignoring him, and he’s losing his mind over it.”
“Hooked up?” Asher’s brows shot up.
“It was a kiss,” I muttered. “And more.” My chest tightened. “And now I can’t stop thinking about her.”
Eric whistled low. “Well, damn. That explains the mood.”
“I don’t know what to do,” I admitted. The words felt like gravel in my throat, but once they were out, I couldn’t take them back. “She’s got Braden, and she deserves someone solid. I’m not that guy.”
Eric leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Bullshit. You’re the most solid one of all of us.”
“Exactly,” Asher agreed. “You’re the one who held this family together when Dad was busy running the station. If anyone can step up for her and that baby, it’s you.”
Becket raised his glass. “See? It’s unanimous. Get your ass over to the loft.”
I huffed out a laugh, but my chest was tight. “You all make it sound easy. It’s not.”
Eric shrugged. “Nothing worth it ever is.”
Asher smirked. “But if she kissed you once, she’ll kiss you again. Unless you screw this up by sulking.”
“Thanks for the pep talk,” I muttered, but the corner of my mouth betrayed me with the start of a smile.
Becket clinked his glass against mine. “Go to her, Phoenix. Tell her what you want. Stop overthinking it.”
Their eyes were all on me, waiting expectantly. For once, I didn’t feel like the one holding everyone together. I felt like the one being pushed forward.
I downed the last of my whiskey, set the tumbler down with a thud, and stood.
“Fine,” I said, jaw tight. “I’ll go.”
Asher whooped. Eric grinned. Becket just nodded, satisfied.
I was heading home to take a shower. There was no way I was showing up to her door smelling like fish on a barbecue.
I took the fastest shower of my life and put on a clean white wifebeater, which I covered in a flannel shirt.
Then I put on my nice boxers and a pair of jeans.
I slipped my boots back on and made my way across the driveway and over to the stairs that led to the loft.
My pulse was hammering in my ears and I kept muttering under my breath, convincing myself this was the right thing to do.
I wanted this. I wanted her. I had wanted her since high school.
And I wasn’t going to hide it anymore. Problem is, I didn’t have a game plan and as I reached the front porch I could only think. . . fuck this, I was going to wing it.