Chapter 20
Elyna
The knock rattled through the loft. My breath stuttered, heart hammering against my ribs as I pulled the door open.
Phoenix stood there. His plaid shirt rolled at the sleeves, his broad shoulders crowding the doorway, and his eyes burning with something I hadn’t let myself believe in because it looked like he was staring back at me with the same hunger, frustration, and need I was feeling.
“Elyna,” he said, low and rough. “I can’t do this anymore.”
My lips parted, words caught somewhere between my heart and throat. “Do… what?”
“Pretend.” He took a step inside, kicking the door closed behind him with a final thud. “Pretend I don’t see you. Pretend last week didn’t happen. Pretend I’m not standing in my damn kitchen every night trying not to look up here.” His gaze locked on mine. “I can’t handle you ignoring me anymore.”
My whole body trembled. His words cracked something wide open inside me. “I can’t handle it either.” The words tumbled out of me in one cleansing breath.
For the first time all week, relief crossed his face. It was raw and real, but I still felt an underlying tension, or maybe it was frustration. He took a step closer, until the heat of him pressed into my skin.
“Phoenix, I’m sorry,” I whispered, the words pouring out before I could stop them. “For everything. For high school, for pushing you away, for that kiss, for shutting you out after. For all of it. . .”
“Shh.” His hand cupped my cheek, thumb brushing the corner of my mouth. His voice was steady, certain. “Later. You can tell me later. Right now…” His breath hitched, eyes flicking over me like he was taking me in piece by piece. “Right now, I just need you.”
The apology died on my tongue. The truth rose instead. I nodded, and then his mouth was on mine.
It wasn’t gentle and felt like a claim. He was hot and desperate, and it was the kind of kiss that stripped away everything I’d hidden behind.
I fisted my hands in his shirt, pulling him closer.
Phoenix remained controlled, as he always did, walking me backward, his arms wrapped around me holding me steady.
When I felt the backs of my knees press against the edge of the futon in the family room, he lowered me down with a firm hand.
He pressed me into the cushions without ever breaking the kiss.
His weight followed as he used one arm for support as his other hand slid beneath my shirt, a rough palm burning a path up my ribs.
I gasped, and he swallowed it, deepening the kiss until the air was gone from my lungs.
“I tried to stay away,” I confessed against his jaw. “It was safer to keep a distance.”
“Nothing about this feels safe,” he growled, lips at my throat. “But I can’t stop.”
“Don’t.” My nails scraped along the hard muscles of his back. “Don’t stop.”
He pulled back and gazed into my eyes. I felt my lips turn down from the loss of his lips on mine.
“We’re stopping right now if you think this is something you’ll regret,” he said watching me firmly, his dark cobalt eyes staring into me.
I squirmed beneath his stare. “I could never regret you, Phoenix Thorne. I know the man you are. At least the man I think you are. . .” I pinned my eyes shut. “I’ve made so many mistakes,” I murmured.
“Open your eyes, Elyna, look at me,” he insisted as he brushed his thumb along my cheek. “We’ve all made mistakes, but they don’t need to define us.”
“They define me,” I croaked. I almost blurted out Braden’s father just blackmailed me but I swallowed the words, not wanting him to see how messed up my choices had been.
“You were young and alone in that house,” he said, and I knew exactly what he meant. He knew Papa was an alcoholic. He knew I did my best to keep Luc and me together, even when I made other bad choices. “You were just a kid,” he said and his voice broke.
A tear slipped down my cheek. “I can never regret you, Phoenix,” I repeated.
I wiped at the tear and before I could gauge his next move, his lips were on mine, hungry and unrelenting.
His hands tugged at the button of my shorts, fumbling only long enough for me to arch my hips and help.
The denim slid down, baring more of me to him than I’d let anyone see in a long time.
He pulled back just enough to look and his gaze devoured me whole, his breath catching like he wasn’t sure if I was real.
“Elyna.” His voice was hoarse. “You’re gonna undo me.”
“I’m already undone,” I confessed, baring myself in a way I had never done before. It felt raw and freeing all at once.
He cursed under his breath, then kissed me hard, his body grinding into mine. I felt the thick press of him through his jeans, and my hips moved on instinct, chasing the friction. A whimper escaped me, raw and unguarded, and his answering groan rumbled against my lips.
“Don’t be quiet,” he muttered, slipping his hand into my panties. “Not for me.”
His fingers found me slick, swollen, and ready.
I cried out softly, thankful Braden was a heavy sleeper once he was down for the night.
I clutched at his shoulders. He stroked me slow at first, then deeper, harder, until my thighs trembled and my breath came in frantic bursts.
He pressed his forehead to mine, watching me unravel.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said, voice ragged. “But this. . .” His fingers curled, hitting that spot that made me jolt. “This tells me you’ve been waiting.”
“I have.” My voice cracked, tears stinging my eyes. “I tried so hard to. . .”
“Don’t try,” he said, kissing me again. “Not with me.”
The pleasure built too fast, winding me tight, pulling me toward an edge I couldn’t resist. “Phoenix,” I gasped, clinging to him.
“Come for me,” he ordered.
I came and shattered around his hand, biting his shoulder to muffle my cries as my body convulsed, wave after wave dragging me under. He held me through it, whispering my name like a vow.
When I could breathe again, I realized how hard he was against me, straining against his jeans. I reached down, palming him through the denim. His breath hissed, his body jerking.
“Elyna. . .” His gruff voice was a warning and plea in one.
“I want you.” Truth is, I needed him. Needed the way he was making me feel cherished.
Those words did the trick and he shoved his jeans down just far enough, freeing himself, thick and hard in my hand. My panties went next, tugged aside in one impatient move. He lined himself up, eyes locking on mine, waiting.
“Please,” I whispered. He reached for the floor and grabbed a condom. I watched as he ripped the wrapper with his teeth and sheathed his cock. I knew Phoenix would have a large cock but I didn’t expect it to be so beautiful. It was long and smooth with just the right amount of girth.
With a guttural sound, he thrust inside me.
The stretch felt exquisite, a mix of pain and pleasure tangled together, and my head fell back with a cry. He stilled, trembling, giving me time.
“Look at me,” he insisted. His facial features tight and filled with lust. His dark eyes felt like they good see right through me.
I stared back and what I saw gutted me because the way he looked back hungry, reverent, and undone had me unraveling too quickly.
He moved slow at first and deep. Each thrust pushing me farther into the futon, driving me mad. My legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him faster. His hand slid under my back, arching me into him, and his mouth claimed mine, swallowing every moan.
“You feel so damn good,” he groaned. “So tight, so perfect.”
“Phoenix . . .” I clung to him, nails biting his shoulders. “Don’t stop.”
“I couldn’t if I tried.”
The rhythm built, hard and relentless, until the futon creaked beneath us. My body clenched around his cock with each thrust sparking heat until I was climbing again, faster this time, desperate for release.
“I’m close,” I gasped.
“Me too.” His jaw clenched, sweat beading at his temple. He reached between us, thumb finding my clit, pressing just right.
I broke with a sob, my body spasming around him, pulling him deeper. He cursed, drove hard into me once, twice, then shuddered as he spilled inside me, groaning my name against my neck.
We collapsed together, sweaty, shaking, clinging like the world outside had disappeared. His weight pressed me into the futon, grounding me in a way I hadn’t felt in years.
When he finally lifted his head, his lips brushed mine, softer now. “If you apologize right now,” he whispered, “I’ll kiss you quiet again.”
A shaky laugh broke out of me. “I was going to try.”
“I know.” He kissed me once more, tender this time, before resting his forehead to mine. “There’s time for that later. For talking. But don’t you dare ignore me again.”
“I won’t,” I promised.
“Good.” He brushed my hair back, his gaze fierce. “Because I’m not letting you.”
His comment made me laugh.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“You seem a lot less grumpy now,” I said carefully. He was in a good mood; I didn’t want to poke the tiger.
“I’m not grumpy,” he replied like he was offended.
“You are perpetually grumpy,” I stated, a smile spread my lips from ear to ear.
“I was perpetually hard after that make-out session in the stockroom,” he confessed.
“Sorry I left you that way,” I replied.
“Hey, I thought we said there was no apologizing tonight,” he said.
“We need to talk about the past, Phoenix,” I insisted.
“We need to focus on now, Elyna,” he rebutted, moving a strand of hair off my face.
He looked around the loft. “Shouldn’t Luc be here this time of night?”
I pinched my lips together. My brother had gotten comfortable staying in Izzy’s bedroom overnight the last few nights.
“That look says it all,” Phoenix replied, his jaw tight again.
“Don’t go getting grumpy on me again,” I insisted as I ran my fingers through the soft stubble on his chest.
“Bean’s my little sister,” he grunted.
“She’s a grown woman,” I reminded.
His face soured.
I laughed. “Come here,” I said to him and I began kissing him again. I noticed a faint taste of whiskey on his lips. “You taste like whiskey.”
“I had a glass with my brothers,” he stated.
“Did they tell you to come here?” I asked.
“We spoke about it and they made me see the error in my ways,” he admitted.
“What error?” I asked.
“You’re digging deep, Elyna. I don’t do deep,” he said.
“That doesn’t surprise me,” I replied, my hands running over the muscles in his chest. I’d never been with someone this built before. Phoenix was big and strong. He must have worked out a lot because his body was amazing.
He gave me a serious look then and my stomach dipped. “I’ve never been in a relationship,” he confessed.
“Wow, that does not surprise me,” I replied a little sarcastically. I felt my guard coming up.
“I’m willing to try though, I mean, if that’s what you want,” he stated.
“I mean, I wouldn’t want you going from my bed to another lady’s bed,” I replied, feeling my heart twist. What was I thinking? That Phoenix would be head over heels in love with me. That it was love at first sight? I stopped believing in fairy tales a long time ago, so why did he feel different?
“That’s not an issue. You’re the only lady I want, Elyna,” he stated just like that. The way he was watching me made me feel unhinged, like he could devour me in one shot. Like him just looking at me would make me come all over again.
“I have Cindy covering my shift tomorrow,” I blurted because my heart was galloping in my chest, and I didn’t know what to make of it. I was feeling things with Phoenix I had never felt before. Things I had no right feeling, and it was scaring the living daylights out of me.
“Okay,” he said calmly. “Is something wrong?”
“No, with Luc and Izzy heading back to school, I don’t have a babysitter anymore. I don’t want to bother Angela. She’s been kind enough.”
“She wouldn’t mind helping. She loves Braden. I’ve heard her gush.” He grinned, and it wasn’t often I saw Phoenix smile. It brightened his whole face and touched his eyes. He was already impossibly handsome and that just added to his appeal.
“He’s ten months old now. He’s practically walking.
There’s a local daycare that’s licensed.
It’s the right thing to put him there. He can socialize with other babies and they have good security,” I explained.
I hope he didn’t find it odd I was worried about security, but with Riley in my not so distant past, I had to be.
“Okay, well, you know what’s best for your son. I’ve seen you with him, Elyna, and you look like a really good, loving mom,” he said and my heart gushed.
“Phoenix, you’re being too complimentary right now. I don’t know what to do with you in this state,” I said playfully.
He shifted and pinned my hands above my head. My nipples hardened from the cold air in the room and his gaze.
He noticed. “Don’t worry, I’ll warm you up.” His tone was filled with lust and promise.
“I don’t doubt that,” I said with a shiver.
“Lie back, honey,” he said, his voice firm and controlled in that Phoenix way.
I did as he said, and I was rewarded as he made his way spreading soft kisses from my nape to my breasts and down my stomach. Yup, I was in trouble with Phoenix Thorne. Very big trouble.