Chapter Twenty
Wade
I am out of my mind, but I don’t give a damn.
The rational part of my brain reels with all the reasons this can’t happen. She’s my employee. She’s too young. My son really likes her. She is leaving soon.
But I am choosing myself. Allowing myself to have something—someone—I want for once.
And that’s Maeve.
Her lips against mine are everything I fantasised about since her sassy mouth opened at the airport. I knew then this girl was going to be difficult for me to resist. I am surprised I lasted this long.
I want to believe it’s just need. A need driven by lust and attraction. Just a physical attraction that will be gone once we both scratch the itch.
But when she looked at me, after I finally let go of all the things I have been holding in for decades, something shifted. And I know I won’t be able to put that back in a box, so I got to ready myself for how complicated things will get.
The kiss is desperate, like the weeks of tug and war between us are pouring into every second of this kiss. Her lips are soft, and the little sound she makes as I pull her deeper into the kiss is going to replay in my mind for weeks to come.
I don’t want to pull away: to face the conversation we need to have after this. I have been so touch-deprived that my body is high on endorphins. I almost feel euphoric. Facing the reality of this situation will be a real comedown.
I wrap my hands around her, a hand cupping her ass, bringing her up further on her knees. There is no space between our bodies, and I know she can feel how solid I am in this moment. Her hands go up around my head, brushing through my hair and knocking my hat off.
God, this is perfect. I want more.
But the responsible adult in me knows the conversation needs to be had. That if we do this, we need to be on the same page. That, unfortunately, it can’t be more than a chapter in our lives that eventually comes to an end. Another secret I need to keep from Colt, and now, so does Maeve.
I slightly pull away, still holding her tight in my embrace so she knows I regret nothing in this moment.
“Maeve, we need to talk for a moment. Before—” I kiss her quickly, already missing the feel of her lips. “We go any further.”
Her face is flushed red, her hair tousled from our kiss. She sinks back again, perfectly in line with the bulge fighting against my jeans. Her eyes meet it and she smirks, but instead of teasing me more, she just agrees. Looking back up for me to start the conversation.
“There are a lot of reasons this shouldn’t happen.
” The words leave me rough from everything that’s been dragged out tonight.
“But I don’t think I’m strong enough to resist whatever this is between us.
Call me a weak man, but… you see me, Maeve.
You saw me before tonight, I know you did.
Even when everyone’s probably telling you I’m an asshole. ”
She snorts softly. “Well… I still think you’re an asshole.”
After everything I’ve just laid bare tonight, she still manages to pull a laugh from me. Me? The man who is known for his scowl.
“I want you, angel.” I hold her gaze. “And I know there’s something here between us.”
Maeve drops her head back with a frustrated groan, dragging both hands over her face before looking at me again.
“This is a lot in one night,” she says. “Secrets. Colt. Us.” She blows out a breath. “I think we should slow down. Think about whether this is actually a good idea… when you’re not half a bottle of whiskey deep.”
I lean back in my chair. The warmth from the whiskey still sits low in my chest. The twist in my stomach from the woman nestled in between my legs, on her knees, still looking a little dazed from our kiss.
She’s downright intoxicating, and that’sdangerous.
Because when it comes to her, I don’t think clearly.
“It’s not a good idea,” I admit. Her brows lift slightly in response.
“We’d have to be careful. No one can find out, especially Colt.” I drag a hand over my mouth before letting it fall again. “I’ve spent most of my life telling myself I don’t get to have the things I want.” My eyes stay on hers. “I tried doing the same with you.”
“How’s that going for you?” she asks with an unsteady little laugh.
A smirk pulls at my mouth. “Clearly not well.”
Maeve doesn’t laugh. She just sits there under the porch light, looking at me like she doesn’t know what to do.
I lean forward again, dipping my head a little lower so that we are close.
“Maeve, if you need time,” I say, forcing some steadiness back into my voice, “that’s fine.
I know tonight has been a lot. But whether it’s tonight with whiskey in my system or tomorrow stone cold sober…
” I make sure I lock eyes with her when I say the next bit. “I’m still going to want this.”
I watch her carefully, noting every tiny movement in her face. The way her throat moves when she swallows. How she starts to brush over her wrist again and again. And yet, she remains completely unreadable.
That scares me more than it should.
“This is dangerous, Wade.” She finally says. “It would cause so much drama if people knew.”
I nod because she isn’t wrong. This could really fuck up everything. But standing this close to her, none of it feels loud enough to drown out what I want.
“Can I ask you something?”
Her eyes lift to mine. A small crease forms between her brows before agreeing.
“Do you want this?”
Her gaze drops to the porch boards. Her thumb presses harder against her wrist.
The hesitation hits me square in the chest. Then—
“Yeah,” she says quietly. “I do.”
She is now looking at me, the porch light catching her eyes, soft and warm. And God, I’m done for.
The answer lands somewhere low in my chest. I nod once, more to myself than her. “Then why don’t we stop acting like this has to be bigger than it is right now?”
She frowns, “What do you mean?”
I glance away briefly, “You’ve got, what… a couple months left here?” She nods. “We both want this.” I pause. “So let’s give into it while you’re here; keep it quiet. Then when you leave, we can go back to our lives like nothing happened.”
Even as I say it, I know I’m stepping into dangerous ground. Temporary just sounds easier in my head. It has rules. Boundaries. An ending already built into it.
Maybe it makes me selfish. Maybe it makes me stupid.
But I’m done pretending this thing between us isn’t there. Done acting like I don’t feel it every damn time she walks into a room.
If this is all I can have, then I want it.
Her brows pull together. “This feels very… risky,” she says carefully.
“Maybe it is, but I’d rather have you temporarily than not at all.”
God, when did I become a man desperate to have a woman. It’s been a while since I even gave a woman the time of day, and now Maeve has me folding in front of her, clutching at any plan that means I can have her in my arms, touch her in all the ways I want to touch her, and enjoy her company.
“I need to think.” She says, not confident at all. It makes me nervous.
“That’s fine, angel. Take all the time you need”
I stand up now, grabbing her hands to help her up to her feet. Without thinking, I pull her into my arms, pressing her close to my body. “You should probably get back.”
She nods, and we walk towards the truck in silence. The night air is cooler now. I open the door for her. Kiss her head and say good night. She lifts herself into the driver’s seat, looking taken aback by tonight. The energy she came here, all raging bull, has completely gone.
With the door shut, I watch her drive away, knowing that I gotta go and deal with the raging hard that the kiss has left in its wake. And I pray that this is the last time that little angel will leave me with blue balls.
My dick rises right along with the sun like I’m some horny teenager who can’t control himself.
Control doesn’t exist anymore when it comes to her. Even before last night, the small bit of control I was clinging to shattered the moment she said, “Colt is not your biological son.”
I didn’t give myself time to think about why I let go last night, why I gave in to this want.
But lying awake in the dark most of the night, I came to terms with it.
All I ever wanted was someone who actually saw me.
And I know Maeve saw through the cracks even before she knew my secret.
But it was the revelation that she knew that finally pulled down that barrier of who I’ve had to be and who I actually am.
The idea that this girl who is half my age, who I’ve known for a short while, could be the person I lean on after years of having no one? It would almost be laughable if it didn't feel like a joke to me, a pivot in my life I didn’t know I was waiting for.
Just a bonus that she looks fucking edible and tastes even better. Last night’s kiss is permanently etched in my memory, and the thought alone has my body demanding more.
Temporary—that’s what I offered. No expectation of anything more. The belief we could go back to our lives before each other. It seemed logical last night. A way to have her without risking too much.
Expect someone always gets hurt. And I know it’s going to be me, because I can already feel the whispers in my subconscious wanting more than just the physical part with her.
The question is: Am I willing to risk getting hurt for a small glimpse of happiness?
Yes. Yes, I fucking am.
I drag myself into a cold shower, already deciding that I’m skipping the main house this morning.
Give her space to think. And honestly, if I see Maeve right now in her usual sleepy-eyed, messy hair, oversize hoodie slipping off her shoulder look, I will struggle not to finish what I started without waiting for an answer.
She must want this as much as I do, even if it is just physical. No one kisses like that without want behind it. But am I worth the risk to her the way she is to me?
What if I am? What if I’m not?
Both answers scare the hell outta me.