23. Della
DELLA
Before I leave for the event tonight, I fiddle with my dress more times than necessary because I’m nervous.
I’m not sure why, though; I know all the Wills crew, Molly, and several people from the barns, plus others I’ve come across.
But I still feel like a bit of an interloper here.
I don’t know if my outfit is too anything; too short, too fancy, too casual, and I hate it.
Normally, I have a good bead on what I’m walking into, but tonight, I’m not so sure.
I do know that all the insecurity I’m feeling melts away the moment Jaxon sees me. I’m approaching him, but close enough to track his eyes as they drink me in. When I watch his tongue pass over his lower lip, as if he appreciates the view, it brings an undeniable heat to my core.
I’ve been a little hot and cold, but I wish I could tell him that my inability to take the leap is because I’ve had years of forgetting how to act in those situations. It has nothing to do with my not wanting him, because, Christ, do I want him.
There’s no shame in two people who are attracted to each other hooking up, I give myself a pep talk. People do this all the time.
When I reach him, and he pulls me in, the simple, unexpected gesture makes my pulse jump. After he kisses me on the temple, I’m confused at the overly flirty gesture, but I’m not complaining.
Before I have a chance to ask what that was, people interrupt to say hello. I get it, he’s standing here to greet employees as they come, but I’m still curious as hell what that was about. When another wave of people vie for his attention, I step away to the bar for a drink.
Before I can ruminate on what that all meant, a man wanders up and introduces himself as Zach. Zach is handsome, and in another scenario, I might be interested in hearing what he has to say, but not right now.
After a second shot and a dozen introductions, the anxiety of the night loosens up and I settle in, laughing as if I’m with old friends. But when my body gets a warm tingle, I realize I need to pump the breaks, because the last thing I want to do is make a fool of myself.
Drinking water, I notice the way that Zach, who hasn’t left my side, touches my hand. I’m pretty sure I know what he’s thinking, and I don’t want to lead him on, so I’m going to set my boundary before it goes any further…
“Excuse me, guys,” Jaxon’s voice comes from behind me before he puts his hand on my shoulder. Zach looks at him with a confused face. It feels like the first time he’s looked away from me since he walked up. “Sorry to interrupt, I just need to grab Del real quick. Don’t worry, I’ll bring her back.”
Jaxon’s hand squeezes my shoulder and wanders south, intentionally trailing his finger down the exposed skin on my back before gripping my waist. Every millimeter he’s traced has left behind fire, and I slowly shift to face him. He doesn’t flinch and repeats himself.
“I’ll bring you back, Tatroe,” then bends to speak into my ear before winking, “if you want.” Without any more words, he nudges my lower back to the corner of the room.
It takes all of three minutes to realize the only thing he needed from me was to get away from Zach, and the remaining two hours, he doesn’t leave my side again.
When he’s not catching up and engaging me in conversations, the two of us are talking.
And I love it. I’m having a better time here than at any event I attended with Tripp.
Before the party ends at ten, Dale, Beth, and Everest take the stage to give short speeches, and my bucket is overflowing listening to them.
They talk about Heart of Will, what it means to their family, thanking everyone for coming to work this summer, and how we are going to make this the best year yet.
I’m literally cleaning shit, and pride is coursing through me.
Everyone cheers, we take a group photo, and the place starts to clear out.
Everest, Hazel, Molly, Jaxon, me, and half a dozen other party people are left, when Dale and Beth announce it’s time to go to the bar.
I wonder why we aren’t just staying here, but despite my water consumption, I am too buzzed to ask too many questions.
Apparently, people file onto two Heart of Will buses, and Beth and Dale drive the horde to The Rusty Lantern.
Everyone is in charge of their own ride home, but what a fun little tradition.
“Not you, Tatroe. You’re coming with me,” Jaxon says as we all move to the doors.
“You’re not taking the bus?” I ask, confused as to why he’d drive. Doesn’t he want to drink?
“I take the night to kind of watch everyone. I know that sounds creepy, but it’s just this first night.
I find it gives me an initial gauge of where my staff is starting this season.
Who’s looking to hook up, who’s going to be breaking hearts, if anyone is acting completely different from previous years.
It sounds like juicy soap opera shit, but you’d be surprised at the insight you can gather.
Cayson, Ev, and I make some gentlemen’s bets too, but Case is out this year. He took the kids home.”
“Well, lead the way then,” I say. Molly and Hazel bound up to jump in, and off we go. When we crash into the bar with about twenty of us, exuberant cheers ring out from the patrons already here celebrating our arrival. My God, this is really a thing!
Dale and Beth stay for a drink and then offer a ride back to anyone, but no one takes it. This crew is looking for a night out, and I’m excited to be part of it.
After we’ve been here for some time, in the middle of a story we are hysterically laughing over, someone interrupts everything.
“Hey there,” he says, staring right at me.
“I’m Cliff. You were here last week, and I haven’t seen a woman as beautiful as you before.
” His stare is intense, and the way he looks down my body makes me uneasy, which is funny because when Jaxon did that a few hours ago, it elicited a very different response.
Over his shoulder, I see Hazel and Molly fake gag and laugh, while Jaxon looks at the man named Cliff with dark eyes.
“I’d love to dance with you,” he says, looking me up and down again.
Jaxon is half-sitting on the bar stool with his legs spread open, so I take a step back and insert myself between them, leaning into the cradle of his hips, seeking the safety of his physical presence.
It’s like we’ve done this a thousand times because he plays along without hesitation, reaching up to hold my hip with his hand.
The way that those fingers wrap around me makes me want to go from fake to real.
Then I say the first thing that comes to mind. “I’m here with him.”
I could say a litany of things, including just a no, thank you, but I don’t.
Maybe because part of me is craving affection, and I am forcing the hand…
literally. Maybe my buzzed brain thought it would be a good idea.
But Jaxon gently kisses the side of my head as he did earlier, and it causes me to lean even further back into him.
He doesn’t say anything to Cliff, just looks at him, almost as if he’s waiting for a challenge.
Tension between them fills the silence, and I realize there has to be more at play here… a history that I don’t know.
I can see the man’s gears turning, debating how hard he’s going to push, but rather than engage, he tips his hat. “Welcome to Amberheart Valley, ma’am. Have a good night.”
When he walks away, I stay in my spot. I have to continue to play the part, right? But the reality is, I’ve been so touch-starved that this simple action has me feeling more needy than I want to admit. When his fingers flex on my hip, indicating he’s not letting go, I melt.
Everyone around us carries on as if this isn’t significant, but to me, it is.
I suppose most people here know him, so maybe this is nothing new at all.
Meanwhile, I’m losing my every-loving mind when I swear, I feel him thicken under my ass.
To be fair, I’m pushed pretty far into his crotch, and my dress is thin, but it’s unmistakable.
When people spread out, and Jaxon and I are left at the table, the air between us changes.
It’s full of a different kind of tension, and can you measure pheromones?
Pretty sure those are raging too. I settle back into how I was for a minute, but quickly turn to him to ask a question that is most assuredly not appropriate, but I can’t stop myself.
I’m not drunk-drunk, but the words come out lubricated as if I am. “Do you sleep around?”
His mouth falls open, disbelief flashing across his face before he pauses, as if he needs a second to figure out how to answer me. The corner of his lip twitches up, as if he’s amused. “I… mean…” he shrugs.
Undeterred, I continue to push. “Do you sleep with people just because?”
“I’m not sure how you want me to answer that. I don’t tell women things to get in their pants or anything. But I enjoy sex, yes. And if I happen upon a willing partner that I vibe with, sometimes I’ll continue the night.”
“How many people have you slept with? And do you have to like them to sleep with them?” I ask.
“Tatroe, what? I’m not answering a body count question, and yes, I have to like them to sleep with them. I don’t just look to stick my dick into anyone to get my rocks off.”
“Are you good?” The decorum train has officially left the station. “In bed?”
The sound of disbelief that comes out of his mouth might signal I’ve gone too far. “I mean… I don’t have complaints. Why, what have you heard?” he laughs a little, and I swear he sounds a bit nervous to hear the answer.
“I’ve heard you’re good. Have you ever thought about teaching sex?
” I ask with a whisper, as if saying sex is a dirty word and I don’t want anyone to hear me.
Because right now, I’m taking all the bravery Quinn has put in my head, all the romance novel things I’ve been curious about, all my horniness, all of my fed-upness with my situation, and I’m throwing it out there. Way the fuck out there.
I haven’t thought of sex lessons until this moment, and that tells me that maybe I’ve had too much to drink, but at the same time, why not? I’ll never see him again, and it will be a blip on my journey, and hopefully, a productive one.
Currently, my confidence in myself and my bedroom abilities is shot, but now that I have a clearer picture of Tripp, maybe it isn’t me that sucked.
I want to know for certain. If it turns out I am terrible in bed, maybe Jaxon Wills can be the one to teach me a thing or two.
I’m a fast learner, after all. Based on his looks, comments, the chemistry between us, and the fact that I literally feel his dick, I know he has some level of attraction to me.
If I make a complete fool of myself, I can leave town with my tail between my legs, never to be seen or embarrassed in the town of Amberheart Valley again.
I affirm that this is probably the best idea I’ve ever had, and I’m sure that’s not the booze talking.
He bellows out a laugh before he answers. “A class? Not quite, Del. Could you imagine if we offered sex classes at the ranch? Oh my God, no. Besides the fact that my parents would have a coronary, who in their right mind would sign up for something like that?”
“Me,” I say, looking him square in the eyes. “If you were teaching them, I’d sign up.”