27. Della
DELLA
This morning brought on unexpected emotions, but I can’t shake the contentment of Jaxon’s arms. Lying next to someone who wants me and reaches for me gives me a taste of self-confidence that I’ve been missing for far too long.
When he asks about what else is on my list, I think about everything I’ve scribbled over the last few months. Although I can’t remember it all, there are a couple of big ones I’ve fantasized about alone in bed.
“I can feel you smiling, Della,” he chuckles. “Share with the class.”
“Remember last night? When you lifted me into the air, and my back was against the door. I want to try that with no clothes and, you know, like… actually do it.”
“Really?” he says. “Well, that’s an easy one. I would’ve fucked you against the door last night without question. What else you got?”
“I wanna try different positions. I’ve only done two,” I say.
If one could hear an eye roll, I would have heard it. “Let me guess,” he says in a deadpan voice, “missionary and doggy style.”
“How do you know?”
“Lucky guess. He would’ve slept with you for the first time missionary, and then I bet he did doggy because he likes to ride.”
The matter-of-factness makes me pause. Because I’m sure he’s right.
“Give me the top three positions you wanna try,” he says. As I’m thinking, I feel his dick push against my leg, and I’m here for it.
“Okay, I wanna be on top. That’s the number one thing I wanna do.”
“Cowgirl? Well, given you’re living at a ranch, that’s a must.”
“And then I want you to sit. Like on a couch or chair, and I just wanna be on top again. Is that weird?”
“Weird? Not even a little.”
“Is it weird that we’re talking about this kind of clinically?” I ask.
“Nothing about this is clinical. This is you telling me what you want. And that’s gonna be helpful so that I can have my own game plan.
One day you won’t be here, and I guarantee that your ability to verbalize these things will be beneficial to all parties involved.
Anything else you wanna share?” When the words leave his mouth, I can’t help but catch the briefest shadow in his eyes, like he regrets saying them.
I get it, though. I hate when I’m forced to remember that I’m here for a finite time, because it’s so easy to forget.
“There’s a little part of me that wants to, like… be told what to do,” I continue. “Not like hard-core domination or anything, and not in a mean way, just taking charge nicely. Is that a thing?”
“Everything is a thing. Truly.”
“Sometimes I think maybe I want to have sex in a place where someone could catch me? How’s that for crazy?” It’s like he’s opened Pandora’s Box, and I’m just saying anything that comes to mind.
“Della, there is no shortage of kinks in the world. Everything you’ve mentioned so far would be considered a normal and healthy sex life.”
“Even public sex?”
“Yep.”
“Have you done that? Actually, don’t answer; I don’t want to know. ”
“I’ve done a lot,” he replies.
For the umpteenth time, I let my guard down with this man. “I want to be sleeping and have someone wake me up with sex, too,” I say before covering my face with my hands.
“Sounds delicious,” he assures me while pulling my hands away from my face. “When do you want to start?”
He looks at me with a gentle intensity that makes me think this is the best worst thing ever.
“Well, we already kind of did, right?” I joke.
“I guess we did. Let me rephrase, are we open season now then?”
“Yeah, I suppose we are.”
He brings his head to mine and kisses me in a way that makes me want to melt off the bed. It’s the same gentle intensity that he was giving me with his stare. It’s so intoxicating that when he pulls away, my body physically sways towards his because I don’t want it to stop.
“At the bar, when you asked me if I just jumped into bed with anyone, I wasn’t lying when I said I didn’t.
I’m wildly attracted to you, Della, and selfish.
Very selfish. These next weeks are going to be as much for me as they are for you.
Whatever happens between us isn’t me just checking off some boxes; it’s because I want this really fucking badly. ”
“Probably not more than I want it, Jaxon,” I laugh.
“Well, tie then,” he concedes.
We are still tangled together, and my leg has found itself draped over his strong thigh, the one I got myself off on last night, when it hits me; I feel settled for the first time in a very long time.
There’s something about this man that makes my heart slow down to breathe, but speed up with excitement, and maybe our time here is limited, but even having this taste…
the taste of everything I could have missed, makes it worth it.
Though I want to stay in this spot indefinitely, I can’t deny I need the washroom, so I get up.
While I’m in there, I rinse my mouth out with mouthwash because, although we’ve already made out this morning, I’d rather have some semblance of fresh breath if that continues.
All the talk of the things I’ve wanted to do has my body humming in anticipation.
I mean, I already know he’s excited too; I’ve felt him brush up against me.
All I would have had to do is put my hand down.
When I come back, Jaxon takes his turn in the bathroom, and while I’m lying here, I’m thinking about lots of things.
How nice the sheets I’ve sunken into are, how long we can lay here today, and and how to find the courage to make the move I want to to extend our time laying together.
Next thing I know, he’s walking towards me with his dick pointing straight out. How does he pee with that thing?
Instead of climbing back into the top of the bed by me, he dives under the covers at the bottom of the bed.
I think he’s going to creep up to be silly, but when he kisses my ankle bone, my entire body tenses.
What is he doing? I can’t see him, but I feel him leaving a trail of kisses up my calf, over my knee, and onto my inner thigh.
My legs try to close because I’m nervous.
The two times Tripp went down on me, he made it seem like scrubbing a toilet would be preferable to the act.
I figured something wasn’t good; maybe I smelled, looked funny, or who knows.
But it couldn’t have been good. Jaxon overrides my thoughts when he takes his big, calloused hands, splays them over my knees, and pulls them apart so they fall to the bed.
With my stomach in knots, my breath catches in my throat, and I hold it, waiting for judgment.
I want to tell him about the contradiction in my brain that he doesn’t have to do this, but I’m also desperate to feel his mouth there.
I’m not sure how he does it, but he manages to pull the blanket off his head and body, and when I look down, I see him between my thighs looking back at me with a predatory excitement.
“Did all that talk this morning get you excited?”
My head nods because I know I’m wet, I wonder if he can see it.
“How is it possible that everything from your head to your toes is perfect, but especially this right here?” he says as he deliberately drags his fingers up and down my slit, before he brushes over my clit with the tip of his finger.
I release the breath I’ve been holding because I have to gasp. I don’t know what’s going to come next. At least he said I look normal, perfect in fact, so the way I looked couldn’t have been the turn-off. I have to taste bad.
He circles it with the pad of his finger a few more times before he brings those fingers to my entrance. I try to move my hips to force the issue because the anticipation is making me crazy, but he doesn’t abide. Snickering as he pulls them away, he shows me the evidence of my arousal.
I’m not sure I’ve blinked since he first started this. My eyes are locked on him, wondering what he’s going to do. To my surprise, he puts those two fingers in his mouth, and pulls them out.
“Damn, you taste better than you look,” he says in the same seductive octave he had last night. My only response is to squeak.
When his head lowers again, I try to stay in the moment. He said I look perfect and taste good, but our brains don’t remember the good; they hold on to the bad to protect us. As his lips are trailing back up my thigh, I reach down to stop him.
“You don’t have to do this, Jaxon,” I whisper.
His head raises again, and he looks squarely at me. “Do you not want this?”
“I mean, kind of. Yes. I don’t know,” the sound forces out of my throat. I don’t want to divulge that I’ve been made to feel like I’m gross.
“Because Della,” he continues without waiting for my explanation, “remember when I told you I was going to be selfish and take what I wanted? I fucking want this. This checkbox isn’t for you; it’s for me. Let me take it.”
“But what if I smell funny?” I cover my eyes with my arm.
“I’ve already tasted you, and I couldn’t be more attracted to every part,” he assures me.
“He only went down on me twice,” I blurt out, the admission making my stomach pang as my other arm goes up to hide my face.
“Well, that’s what happens when you’re with a boy,” the dismissal is immediate. “Besides, I think we’ve already established pussy wasn’t his thing. So if there are no more objections, I’m going to go ahead and eat.”
When I take my arm away, he’s looking up at me, waiting for permission, and the combination of his gaze plus his words is the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced in my life.
I nod and his tongue finds my core, but stops just short of where I need it.
Hearing the needy noise fall from my lips, he looks back up again.
“Relax, baby, I promise I’ll show you how good this can be,” he rumbles in a low, demanding tone. It makes my knees fall open further, and he growls his approval.
“You.”
Lick
“Taste.”
Lick
“So fucking good.”
My body responds to his words, and I shut my eyes. I feel like there’s a chance I could get off on just listening to him speak to me that way. As he’s dancing around my most private area, he’s staying just far enough away from where I need him to be. I’m so turned on, I actually start to pant.
“Jaxon,” I whine. “Please. I need to feel this. It’s never…”
“Tell me what you want, Del? I want to hear you say it.”
“I want you to hit the right spot.”
“Ah, baby, there will be a time when I make you ask for more. In fact, I’m going to make you beg, but we’ll save that for a different lesson, eh?”
With that, his mouth goes around my clit, and I gasp. I can feel the roughness of his tongue as he sweeps against the sensitive spot, and in twenty seconds flat, he’s solidified that I’ve most certainly been missing out.
“Oh my God, Jaxon,” I grab the top of his head, not to stop him this time, but to hold on.
My fingers slide into his hair, and he lets out a groan, as if this is genuinely good for him.
It’s so convincing that I believe him, and at that point, I let myself get lost. Then, when I think it can’t get any better, he pushes two fingers into me, and I swallow a scream.
His tongue and fingers work in tandem, and I’m pretty sure I’ve gone to…
Regular heaven? Cowboy heaven? All I know is that this is otherworldly.
My body starts moving against him on its own accord.
The man has to know he’s good at this. Beyond good.
“Jaxon,” I moan because I don’t know what else there is to say.
His fingers sweep my insides, and they’re touching a part of me that has never been touched before.
I buck harder on his face and any self-conscious thoughts are long gone.
When his mouth latches around my clit and he sucks, everything goes white.
The flash of heat runs through my body, and I close my eyes, tilt my head back, and see stars. Ohmygod.
He reads my movements when I try to squeeze my legs back together, he keeps them open and continues to move his tongue as the orgasm continues to rip through every inch of my body.
All the tension I’ve ever carried in every part of me releases, and I am a changed woman.
He pulls his head up with a huge grin on his face. “You’re quite responsive, Tatroe.”
“And you’re quite the god, Wills.” I smile at the way his last name rolls right off my tongue. I can’t help that my insecurity rears its ugly head. “Promise I tasted okay?” I whisper. He did the job, and did it well… but…
“Did you taste okay?” he responds while crawling up my body. When he’s right in front of me, he looks into my eyes to nail down how serious he is, but the intimacy of the moment makes me swallow hard. “Pretty sure you were made for me,” he says, then bends to take my mouth.
The kiss is earthy and different, but certainly not abhorrent like I was made to believe.
“Bad news, Del,” he says as he pulls away. “I loved that. Which means I’m going to try to do that every chance I get. You’re going to be sick of my face in your sweetness.”
“Bad news for you,” I laugh back. “I don’t think I’ll ever be sick of that.”
“Good fucking answer,” he mumbles before he smashes his lips to mine again. Although I’ve been marginally aware of his dick resting against me, when we really ramp up the kiss, I feel him pump ever so gently into me.
I have died and gone to sexing heaven.